JAVASCRIPT //





function killCopy(e){
return false
}
function reEnable(){
return true
}
document.onselectstart=new Function ("return false")
if (window.sidebar) {
document.onmousedown=killCopy
document.onclick=reEnable
}
function nrcIE() {
        if (document.all) {
            return false;
        }
}

function nrcNS(e) {
        if (document.layers || (document.getElementById && ! document.all)) {
            if (e.which == 2 || e.which == 3) {
                return false;
            }
        }
}

if (document.layers) {
    document.captureEvents(Event.MOUSEDOWN);
    document.onmousedown = nrcNS;
}else {
    document.onmouseup = nrcNS;
    document.oncontextmenu = nrcIE;
}
document.oncontextmenu = new Function("return false");






CSS//



#profile-container {background:none;}



MAINBODY { BACKGROUND THING //



url(http://i.imgur.com/aZOtejn.pnghttp://i.imgur.com/aZOtejn.png)




HTML ///



<table style="position: absolute; left: -110px; top: 50px; height: 569px; background-image: url('http://i.imgur.com/s4MpqKZ.png'); width: 960px;" border="0" cellspacing="0">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td>&nbsp;</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<div style="position: absolute; height: 80px; width: 550px; top: 70px; left: 320px; overflow-x: auto; text-align: center; float: center; margin: auto;">
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'times new roman', times;">&nbsp;<span style="text-shadow: #dde378 1pt 0.3pt 0.1em; font-size: 12pt; color: #333333;"><em>name</em>&nbsp;</span><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: #000000;">mason<span style="color: #ffff99;">&nbsp;</span></span><span style="color: #ffff99;"><em><span style="text-shadow: #DDE378 1pt 0.3pt 0.1em;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; color: #000000;">gender</span>&nbsp;</span></em></span><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: #000000;">male&nbsp;</span><span style="text-shadow: #DDE378 1pt 0.3pt 0.1em;"><span style="color: #333333;"><em><span style="font-size: 12pt;">age</span></em></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;</span><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: #000000;">late twenties&nbsp;</span><span style="text-shadow: #dde378 1pt 0.3pt 0.1em; color: #000000;"><em><span style="font-size: 12pt;">status</span></em>&nbsp;</span><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: #000000;">single and ready to mingle</span></span></p>
<span style="font-family: 'times new roman', times;"><span style="text-shadow: #DDE378 1pt 0.3pt 0.1em;"><span style="color: #000000;"><em><span style="font-size: 12pt;">race</span></em></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;</span><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: #000000;">human&nbsp;</span><span style="text-shadow: #DDE378 1pt 0.3pt 0.1em;"><span style="color: #000000;"><em><span style="font-size: 12pt;">orientation</span></em></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;</span><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: #000000;">eyepatchsexual&nbsp;</span><span style="text-shadow: #DDE378 1pt 0.3pt 0.1em;"><em><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: #000000;">hair</span>&nbsp;</span></em></span><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: #000000;">blond&nbsp;<span style="text-shadow: #DDE378 1pt 0.3pt 0.1em;"><em><span style="font-size: 12pt;">eyes&nbsp;</span></em></span><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: #000000;">blue&nbsp;<span style="text-shadow: #DDE378 1pt 0.3pt 0.1em;"><em><span style="font-size: 12pt;">height&nbsp;</span></em></span><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: #000000;">5'7</span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="position: absolute; height: 440px; width: 410px; top: 160px; left: 410px; overflow-x: auto; float: center; margin: auto;">
<p><span style="color: black; font-family: 'times new roman', times;"><span style="text-shadow: #dde378 1pt 0.3pt 0.1em; color: #000000;"><em><span style="font-size: 12pt;">LIKES</span></em></span><span style="color: #000000;"><span style="text-shadow: #DDE378 1pt 0.3pt 0.1em;">&nbsp;&nbsp;</span><span style="color: #000000;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Eyepatches, chain smoking, his long, flowing hair. </span><br /><br /> <span style="color: #000000;"><em><span style="text-shadow: #dde378 1pt 0.3pt 0.1em;">DISLIKES</span></em><span style="color: #000000;">&nbsp; <span style="font-size: 10pt;">Bitches who don't put the patch on, sobriety, not having a lighter. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: 8pt;">Mason is unsure what he wants. He doesn't know what he likes, or doesn't like, with the exception of one thing: Eyepatches. Eyepatches are the peanut butter to his jelly, the fuel for his rock hard erection, thirsting for the eyepatch of justice. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: 8pt;"> If the above paragraph didn't throw you off, here's the deal: Mason is a down-to-earth guy, just an average Joe. He's got a smoking addiction, and his hair is long. Most likely, it's longer than yours. And it's soft.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 36pt; font-family: 'times new roman', times; color: #808080;">"I...<em>what?</em>"</span></p>
<a title="dante's bitch apparently." href="http://imgur.com/a/zoQca" target="_blank"><img style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="http://i.imgur.com/Z91wvzH.png" alt="" /></a>
<p style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size: 36pt;"><span style="text-shadow: black -1px 0px, black 0px 1px, black 1px 0px, black 0px -1px; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', geneva;"><span style="font-size: 36pt;">&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="http://profiles.rphaven.com/jackyl" target="_blank"></a><span style="color: #c0c0c0;"><a style="color: #fff;" class="tooltip" title="i'm this monster hound's chewtoy." href="http://profiles.rphaven.com/jackyl" target="_blank"><span style="color: #c0c0c0;">♛</span></a></span></span><a class="tooltip" title="&lt;font face=times new roman&gt;&lt;center&gt;don't slow me down now, vakarian." href="http://profiles.rphaven.com/jackyl" target="_blank"></a></span></span></p>
</div>