Ain’t No Party Like A Pinkie Pie Party (ED)

Ain’t No Party Like A Pinkie Pie Party

    The glass bottle made a loud whirring sound as it spun on the hardwood floor.  It spun for long seconds.  It seemed to go on forever, not even slowing down.  At one point, Spike could have sworn it even sped up a little bit.  He was watching it intently.  He had his claws crossed.  He wanted to close his eyes and wish and pray but the spinning bottle was too hypnotic.

    Spike had been so excited about attending this party.  He had heard about the activities that Pinkie Pie had been planning.  He had heard about who else was on the invitation list.  Spike had worn his best tie.  It was the bejeweled bowtie that Rarity had made for him.  Twilight had also been gracious enough to magic him up a top hat and a thick, black handlebar mustache.  She hadn’t been so gracious as to keep from snickering as he preened himself in the mirror though.

    The bottle began to slow down.  The whirring noise also diminished.  It slowed enough to watch the end of it as it pointed at all the other guests.  Soon it would stop.  Spike watched as the end completed one last rotation, and then it was pointed at him.  It had stopped.

    Spike almost blacked out.  He barely even noticed the loud “Ooooos!” that all the girls made, the noises that rose in pitch, and were half surprise, half cat-calls.

    Spike wouldn’t remember Pinkie Pie nudging him into the closet.  He turned around and looked at the party-goers.  He would remember the sight of Rarity slowly trotting into the closet with him, and Pinkie Pie slowly closing the closet door so that he and Rarity were stuck in the closet together.

    “Have fun you two,” Pinkie Pie said with a grin as she shut the door.  “You have seven minutes in heavvvven!”

Minute One

    Spike was at a loss for things to say.  He had a whole book full of one-liners, ice-breakers, and pick-up lines at home that he had written out himself.  He couldn’t remember a single one.  His whole life had led up to this one moment.  The seconds were ticking away.  Maybe if I give myself some time, he thought to himself, I could come up with something really clever.  Then he realized he only had seven minutes with Rarity.  Seven minutes.  And the first minute was running out.

    “So, um...” he started to say.

    “Oh, don’t you start!” she hissed under her breath.  Spike was silenced; he nearly swallowed his tongue.  “It’s bad enough that Pinkie drags me to her silly parties.  But they keep getting sillier and sillier.  What are we?  Foals?  Spin the Bottle?  Seven Minutes in Heaven?  It’s ridiculous.  Totally immature.  Take two ponies who don’t even have any feelings for each other, and stick them in a closet.  For what?  For laughs?  To embarrass them?  To start trashy gossip about them?  It’s totally tasteless.  It’s downright trashy.  It’s simply not anything a proper pony does.”

    “I... I... I have feelings for you,” Spike whispered.

    “Huh?”

    “I love you, Rarity,” Spike said.

Minute Two



    There was a pause long enough that it felt like an eternity to the both of them.  Now it was Rarity who struggled to find words.  Spike’s heart was sinking so low that it felt like it was eating a hole through his guts.

    Finally, “Well,” Rarity whispered.  “I’ve certainly noticed you’ve had... affections for me.  But, Spike...  All of the boys express affections for me.  And it’s all so banal.  So superficial.  I never thought you would actually feel that way.”

    “But I do!” he said as loud as he dared.

    “You’re a very charming young dragon, Spike.  But...”

    “But,” Spike frowned.

    “But it would just wouldn’t work out.”

    “Because you don’t like me.”

    “But Spike, I do like you.”

Minute Three

    “What’s that now?” Spike asked, totally taken aback.

    “Didn’t I just say you were charming?  Do you really think after all this time that I could resist your charms?”

    “But?”

    “But it would never work out, Spike.  I’m so busy running my shop.  You’re so young.”

    “But I would age,” Spike protested.  “I’ll mature.”

    “I know you will, sweetheart.  But that’s the real problem.  I age so much faster than you do.  Have you thought about the consequences?  You’re in love with me, what happens if I fall in love with you?  What then?  What if I stay with you for the rest of my life?  I’ll be a tired, withered old crone, but you’ll still be a young dragon, Spike.  Barely into adulthood.  What would you do after I died of old age?  Haven’t you thought about this at all?

    “Of course I have.  I don’t care.”

    “Huh?”

    “Rarity, I don’t care how old you’ll get.  I don’t care if all your hair turns gray and there are bags under your eyes and you can’t see and your teeth fall out and your butt sags and your bones are as brittle as glass and you can’t remember your own name anymore.  Rarity.  I don’t love you because you’re young and beautiful.  I love you for who you are.”

    Rarity stared at him.  She couldn’t see him in the darkness, but she still stared at him.  Her eyes started to water.  “Spike, I... you’re going to break my heart.  And I don’t want to break yours.”  She blinked tears away and gulped.  “That’s the most beautiful thing anybody has ever said to me.”  Her voice lowered half an octave.  “I don’t know if I appreciate that comment about my butt, but it’s still a nice thought.”

    “So...,” Spike said.

    “So.  Well.  Spike, I just... I just don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship right now.  There’s just too much for me to think about.”

    “Oh.”

    “Don’t think I’m rejecting you, Spike.  This is just so fast.  I’m not going anywhere and neither are you.  I’m sure there will be moments sometimes in the future when it’s just me, and it’s just you.  And we’ll have a chance to flesh this whole thing out a little better.”

    “You mean like... right now?”

    “Right now?”

    “We’ve got seven minutes.  Seven minutes in heaven.”

    “Four minutes and change.  I have a good mind for time, darling.”

    “See?  Four minutes in heaven.  We can do anything we want.  Do you... do you want to talk some more?  Talk about us?”

    Rarity thought about it for a hot second.  She grinned.  “No.”

Minute Four

    Rarity kissed him.  She kissed him so hard, she almost knocked him off his feet.  He would have fallen if he hadn’t thrown his arms around her neck and dug his claws into her soft, white coat.  His hat went flying off.  She backed him up against the wall of the closet and lifted him up off of his feet.  Rarity drove her tongue between his lips, carefully avoiding the sharp tips of his impossibly hard fangs.  His mouth felt so hot to her; his breath was nearly burning.  She could tell by the way he kissed back just how long he had wanted this moment.  There was passion in his breath, not just fire.

    Spike reached further up and grabbed Rarity by her ears.  Spike swung his torso up and wrapped his legs around Rarity’s chest.  He slid his own tongue into Rarity’s sweet mouth.  Her loose, luscious curls were spilling all over his arms.  It was a sensation he had always wanted to experience,  yet he could hardly think to enjoy it.  He was overcome by Rarity’s kissing.  She was forceful, sloppy, excited.  It was a sharp contrast to her usual reserved, prim self.  It drove Spike wild.  He could feel his little erection sliding out from between his scales.  It stuck up between his belly and Rarity’s coat.  An old instinct began to take control of his body.  He wanted to thrust his hips against her, driving his dick through her coat, and cum all over her.  He fought the desire with every ounce of his mental strength.  He didn’t want Rarity to speak poorly of him.  Instead, he raised his arrow-shaped tail up and began to stroke her and pet her over every square inch that he could reach.


Minute Five

    Rarity was the first to break the kiss.  Spike went sliding down to the floor of the closet.  Rarity threw her head back and left out a stifled gasp.  Her face was sweating heavily.  Spike had felt it on his claws.

    “My gracious,” she whispered.  “I had no idea your body was so hot beneath those scales.  It’s so... it’s so...”  Rarity said nothing.  Instead, she daintily raised her hoof up between his short legs, and used it, in the darkness, to find his little cock as it stuck out.  She bent over and slipped it between her lips.

    Spike hissed between his teeth.  He wanted to scream, but there was a whole party worth of ponies on the other side of the door listening for anything like that.

    “Mmmm,” Rarity moaned, perhaps just a little too loud.  His dick felt feverishly hot on her tongue.  To Spike, it felt like Rarity had just been drinking a glass of cold water.  He could feel in detail every square inch of her mouth.  It was better than he had imagined it in all his dreams.  His dreams had always ended in disappointment.  Then he realized this too would soon end.  Minutes, maybe less.

    “Wait, wait, wait,” he stopped her.  He pulled her face up by her cheeks and kissed her once more on the lips.  “Turn around,” he whispered.

    “What? Are you sure?  Our first time?  You want it to be liked this?”

    “No,” Spike said.  He didn’t, not like this.  There wasn’t enough time, even if he did.  “I want to spend the rest of the time pleasuring you.”

    Rarity kissed him once more, and turned around.  She lifted her tail for him.  Spike grabbed it by the base, and lifted it even higher, tugging on it to tease her.  He plunged his face down in between her alabaster buttcheeks.  His little pug nose pushed apart her soft, dripping lips.  His tongue danced across her clit.  She inhaled deeply as his hot tongue massaged her, and then bit her lower lip to keep from screaming out loud when she felt his long tongue dart deep inside of her body.  Rarity wiggled her butt, and drove her hips back harder into his face, trying to drive his tongue in even further than it could go.

Spike wanted to taste every square inch of her in the seconds he had remaining.  His nose was now nearly at the lower edge of her asshole.  He wished he could see it.  White, tight, and perfectly round.  He licked upwards.  The tip of his tongue met the center of her anus.

Minute Six

    Rarity squealed.  It was loud enough that it would surely be heard on the other side of the door if anybody was still listening.  Neither of them cared at the moment.

    Spike moved his face back.  “I’m sorry!” Spike whispered.

    “Don’t stop!” Rarity hissed.  “That was perfect!”

    Spike plunged his face back into her.  He drew little circles with his tongue around the outside of the ring of her ass.  First clockwise, then counterclockwise.  He slid his tongue over to the center of it, but still licked in circles, in the same fashion.  “Oh god,” Rarity quietly moaned.  “Yes. Yes.  Lick my ass, Spike.”

    Spike toyed with it for a few more precious seconds.  He could feel them ticking away, like a beating heart.  Each second he applied a little more pressure.  Then, finally, he forced his tongue into her.  Rarity threw her head back and bit her tongue.  “Oh, god,” she whispered.   “Oooooh, it’s so warm.  Oh, god.  It’s better than being eaten out.  Mmm, it’s better than fucking.  Oh, damn.”

    Spike rapidly stuck his tongue in and out.  He dug his claws into the blue hair that made up her cutie marks.  He could hear her heavy breathing rising faster.  Her tail was resting on top of his head, just to the side of his fin.  Her long curly hair was cascading all over his body.  He could hear Rarity’s breathing turning into a rapid-fire panting.  Seconds later, Rarity let out a long, soft grunt; then she came.  Spike knew it when it happened.  She spurted her wetness all over his chin and neck.  He kept going though, he could have gone on for a thousand years.

Minute Seven.



    Mmmmm, Rarity moaned.  “Oh, wait!” she said.  “The closet.  They’re about to open the door.  Spike, darling, we have to stop.”

    Rarity’s whole body tensed up.  Her anus clenched around Spike’s still-penetrating tongue.  It pinched him, almost painfully. Spike had to pull his head back in order to wiggle himself out of Rarity.  Every know and then, Spike had thought of Rarity as a bit of a tight ass, but never literally.

    “Spike,” Rarity turned around to speak softly to him.  “We can’t let anybody know about this.  You have to swear.”

    “I swear.”

    “They can’t suspect a thing.  We have to look exactly like we did when we came in here.  Look grumpy, like we haven’t been enjoying ourselves.”

    “Right,” Spike said.  He took a half step away from her and then they both turned to face the door, their noses almost touching it.  They waited patiently for the last few seconds to count down.   Rarity looked down at him.  She couldn’t see a thing, but still she worried if he was presentable.

    “Wait,” she said.  “Are you still wearing your hat?”

    “Aw, jeez,” he said.  He found it on the floor, and then put it back on his head.  He resumed his previous position.  “Is my tie on straight?” he asked.

    Rarity bent down one last time to straighten it with her teeth.  She wiped her fluids from his neck with the coat of her leg, then kissed him on the cheek before she stood back up.  “For good luck,” she said.

    “I love you,” Spike whispered.

    “I know,” Rarity said.  “But not a word of this to anypony!  I’ll simply die.”

    Spike nodded and would have said he agreed, but was interrupted by the sound of a turning door knob.  Light rushed in, and the two lovers blinked in the brightness.



    “Suuuuuuurprise!” Pinkie screamed.

    A chorus of high-pitched “OOOooos!” rose up from the audience and then descended into disappointed “awwws” as they saw the little pony and dragon.  Both looked non-plussed and not a bit ruffled.  Silence remained.

    “Well!” Spike finally said.  “I don’t know what you were all hoping to accomplish.  But I hope you all had a nice little laugh at your little game.”

    Twilight knew all about Spike’s little secret, and now felt bad for helping put him in an awkward situation.  “Spike, I...,” she started to say.

    “No, no,” Spike said.  “No harm, no foul.  There’s no need for me to get upset.  I just hope you all think twice before playing with somebody else’s emotions.  I’m quite alright.”  Spike walked out of the closet and went off to get some punch from the bowl in the kitchen.  Silence resumed.  Eyes turned towards Rarity, still in the closet.

    “Well,” she said.  “I suppose that’s that.  Nothing more needs to be said.” She started to walk out of the closet.  Eyes started to follow her as she walked out the door.  Jaws started to drop.  “I don’t know what all of you were expecting the both of us to do in there.  Spike is a true gentleman.  And a friend.  Only a friend, mind you.  Nothing happened in there, and I would ask you all kindly to avoid making up any nasty rumors.  It would only cheapen us all.”

    Rarity walked through the entire crowd, and into the next room.  All of their eyes followed her as she went.  They weren’t so much looking at her, as they were looking at the thick, black handlebar mustache still stuck to her asshole.