5e Retard Background

Retard
You're retarded you fucking retard.

Skill Proficiencies: None, retard.
Tool Proficiencies: None, you would hurt yourself.
Equipment: Your wrangler (Uncle Bastard) will take care of that.

Feature: Tard Rage
Sometimes you get confused and scared.  During the times that your misshapen brain nuggets don't figure out that you can run away, you tap into your inner strength.  You may use a barbarian rage 1/day.  The rage lasts for 1 minute (which can seem like an eternity for your poor wranglers).  You cannot voluntarily end this rage without succeeding at a DC 15 intelligence or wisdom check using the lowest bonus of the two.

Suggested Characteristics: Not ONLY are you retarded, but you might also be a deformed mutant.  Your eyes might not point in the same direction, you might have a fat forehead, you might drool because you cant help yourself.

d8 Personality Trait
1.You have a special phrase you repeat all the fucking time.
2.You're obsessed with a particular food and don't hold back when it's in sight
3.Turd Rage: You poop like a bear when raging.
4.You're extremely vulgar in public
5.Grumblespeak: No one can understand what you fucking say without practice
6.You have a tick, you might slap yourself or shake your head when nervous
7.HONK HONK HONK
8.You really hate to put on a particular article of clothing

d6 Ideal
1.Animals I love da aminals, you gotta pet da aminals and feed dem food (Good)
2.The R-Word DONT SAY WETAWD IS A BAD WOUD (Lawful)
3.DUHUHUH: Dats funnuh, ebberythin is funnuh! (Chaotic)
4.Take Dat: Ahm da smawtest ahn you gonna be in twoble... (Evil)
5.Stress Sigh: All the dang bullies and TROLLS give me so much of da stress, UGH (Neutral)
6.Hunger: I wan an erg sannditch (Any)

d6 Bond
1.You have some kind of stupid doll or something you're obsessed with
2.You have a favorite wrangler and you're convinced he or she is your BEST FRIEND
3.You had a pet dog once and you still think it's alive somewhere.
4.You've invented a stupid fictional character that no one cares about, probably hedgehog related.
5.By some miracle your grandmother is still alive and sends you candy.
6.There's a place you've always wanted to go, a theme park or a place from a stupid baby story.

d6 Flaw
1.You're retarded
2.You're retarded
3.You're retarded
4.You're retarded
5.You're retarded
6.You're retarded