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- >A hoof passes in front of your face, catching your attention
- >"Anonymous"
- >The hoof is purple
- >"Hello? Equestria to Anonymous"
- >You shake your head and snap out of it
- Sorry.
- >They catch the look on your face
- >"What's buggin' ya? Ya look like ya've got a worm in yer apple"
- This is not my world
- >"It's not?" asks Twilight
- No
- >You look Twilight in the eyes
- And unless you can magic me back...
- >You sit back and close your eyes
- I'll be here for a while
- >Could you really live in magical pony land for the rest of your life?
- >Yes
- >But could you leave behind your friends and family?
- >That has yet to be seen
- >Your family isn't much of a concern
- >Both your parents are dead
- >Your brother still lives in Texas
- >And most of your friends are of the internet sort
- >You'd miss the weekly webcam get togethers
- >But hopefully, you could manage
- >You'd have to
- >Your internal reverie is interrupted by something poking your arm
- >You open your eyes to see Applejack in front of you
- >"Ya'll can stay at Sweet Apple Acres for as long as ya need to"
- Really? You'd do that for me?
- >"After what ya did this morning? Yall could join the family"
- >Twilight looks at you questioningly, but doesn't ask
- >"Trans dimensional teleportation isn't something lightly done"
- >"Only the princesses would consider such a thing"
- The princesses?
- >"Princess Celestia or Princess Luna, yes"
- >So there's hope, at least
- >"OHMYGOSH! I forgot! I need to send a letter to the princesses!"
- >She turns around to the door
- >"SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!"
- >The door cracks open to reveal a single green eye
- >It peers about the room before landing on you
- >Then the door closes
- >"Oh come on"
- >As you watch, a purple aura envelopes the door
- >It flies open, and Spike comes floating through coated in the same aura
- >He does not come quietly
- >Twilight sets him down on the table in front of you
- >Sitting like you are, he stands eye to eye with you
- >"Spike, this is Anonymous. Anonymous, this is Spike, my dragon assistant"
- >A dragon, huh?
- >This place just gets more and more interesting
- Hello Spike
- >Spike stares at you
- I'm not going to eat you, I promise
- >This elicits a giggle
- >You hold out your hand
- Truce?
- >He reluctantly shakes hands with you
- >Your massive hand dwarfs his tiny one
- >"Now then, Spike, I'd like to send a letter to the Princess"
- >"Okay, Okay" He grumbles
- >He jumps down and grabs another scroll, this one blank
- >He then grabs a quill and inkwell and sets the lot down on the table
- >"Ready"
- >"Dear princess Celestia"
- >She proceeds to explain your situation, and ask if the princess would be willing to attempt such a spell
- >"Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle"
- >Spike then rolls up the scroll, and breathes fire upon it
- Hey, wai-
- >The emerald green smoke flies out a conveniently open window
- Oh.
- >So letters here travel via dragon flame
- >You wonder just how many more surprises this land holds for you
- >"Did you say something, Anonymous?"
- No
- You said you had some questions earlier...
- >She grins and picks up a notebook and pencil
- >You don't like that grin
- >It looks...
- >Predatory
- >You take a breath and ready yourself
- >This might take a while
- >"Let's start with that pile of clothing over there"
- What?
- >"Why do you wear so much clothing?"
- >She points to your winter gear
- >"Even now, most of your body is covered"
- Well, as you can see
- >You hold up your bare arm
- I don't have nearly as much hair as you do. The clothing serves as my insulation against cold weather.
- It is also a major taboo in my culture to walk around naked
- >Twilight's pencil is doing a million miles a second
- >Wait a minute
- >If you're gonna stay here, you're gonna need more clothes
- >You've got a change in the truck
- >But that won't cut it for however long you need to be here
- >You voice your concerns to Twilight and Applejack
- >"Ya'll don't need to worry about that, ya can just go see Rarity"
- I'm not sure my currency is valid here
- >"Oh don't worry, she can be very... understandin-"
- >You all jump as the front door slams open
- >And the living incarceration of energy bounces in
- >It's a pink pony with a poofy mane
- >The room suddenly smells of cotton candy
- >"HI! I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name? Where do you come from? I heard there was someone new in town and I thought "They must be at Twilight's" and I asked around and you were at Twilight's! I should throw you a welcoming party! Everything is better with parties!"
- >You've met people like this before
- >And you know exactly what to do
- >You sit, completely motionless, and stare at the bubbly pink p0ny in front of you
- >The words peter out as you peer into the pink one's soul
- >Twilight and Applejack exchange worried looks
- BOOO!
- >You yell as you jump forward and grab at the p0ny
- >and succeed beyond your wildest dreams
- >Pinkie Pie gives an almighty yelp and jumps up into the rafters of Twilight's housebrary
- >Spike rolls over laughing
- >Twilight and AppleJack are trying not to, you can tell, but it's a losing battle
- >A few chuckles escape their lips
- >"That wasn't very nice!" Comes the rebuttal from the rafters
- Gotcha!
- >"I guess you did, you silly filly"
- >You stand up
- >Your head is nearly in the rafters, so it's little trouble for you to reach up and grab her
- >You hold her in front of you at eye level
- No hard feelings?
- >She sticks her tongue out at you
- >"Not if you come to my party tomorrow!"
- Alright, I can do that
- >You set her down on the ground
- >"If you're quite finished then, Pinkie?" asks Twilight
- >"Yep! I got what I came for" she replies, looking at you coyly
- >Your face turns red
- >What on earth was this pony getting at?
- >She laughs at you
- >"Gotcha back, Anonymous! See you later."
- >She turns around and trots out the door, closing it behind her
- >"Pinkie Pie is a... Unique mare" Says Twilight
- >"And I wouldn't have her any other way"
- >alright, back to the questions
- >"Show her yer whatchamacallit" prompts AppleJack
- What
- >"That thing you killed that timber wolf with this morning"
- My pistol?
- >"That's the one"
- (You can skip the next part if you don't care about how pistols work)
- >You draw your pistol and remove the mag
- >Then you rack the slide, ejecting the cartridge in the chamber
- >You lock the slide back and place it on the table
- >You set the cartridge and the mag next to the pistol on the table
- >"You killed a timber wolf with that?" Twilight asks
- >She obviously doubts the prowess of John Moses Browning
- This is my Colt M1911
- There are many like it, but this one is mine
- >She takes it up with her magic and begins examining it
- It shoots bullets at things I deem deadly threats to myself or my friends
- >"Could you be more specific?"
- >You take the pistol from her, and pick up the loose bullet with your other hand
- This bullet is comprised of four parts: the casing, the projectile, the powder, and the primer
- >You point to each part as you list them
- It sits inside the pistol like so
- >You shove it into the breech and close the slide
- When I turn off the safety and pull this trigger
- >You point, but do not touch
- A pin punches into the primer, causing a spark
- >She's lapping all this up
- >You take a cartridge from the magazine to demonstrate
- That spark ignites the powder inside of the casing, which burns at an extremely high rate, rapidly creating expanding gas
- >Twilight nods in comprehension
- The expanding gasses force the projectile down the barrel of the pistol, and out this hole in the end at extreme velocities
- >You put your cartridge back in the magazine and stick it in the pistol
- Some of the pressure from the gas is used to force the slide back
- >You yank the slide back
- Ejecting the cartridge. When the springs in the gun pull the slide forward
- >You ease the slide forward
- It picks up another cartridge out of the magazine and shoves it in the chamber
- >YOu rapidly run the slide back and forth, cycling all the cartridges
- Like so
- >At the end of your little demonstration, you eject the magazine and pick up all the loose cartridges
- >They seem so few, in this strange new place
- >Hang on
- >This unicorn can do magic
- >Maybe, just maybe...
- You can do magic, right?
- >"Of course I can!" She looks mildly offended
- Could you possibly replicate this?
- >You hold up the bullet
- >"I would have to know what the inside looks like"
- >You grab a small piece of paper and a pencil, and sketch a rough side view of a .45 ACP bullet, labeling all the parts
- That good enough?
- >She looks at the paper thoughtfully for a moment
- >Her magic takes the bullet from your grasp and sets it on the table
- >Your hands free, you begin loading the remaining bullets back into your magazine
- >A look of concentration crosses her face, and her horn begins to glow
- >She sways a bit as it glows brighter and brighter
- >There's a deafening POP, and the glow fades away
- >She sits down on her haunches, panting
- >Sitting next to the original cartridge on the table is an identical cartridge
- That looked hard...
- >"I've never had to replicate such complex materials before" she pants
- >"But now that I understand the object, I can tailor a spell to it. It won't be nearly that hard in the future"
- >Sweet
- >Unlimited ammo unlocked!
- >You feel your prospects are much better now in this land of magical talking p0nies and wooden wolves
- >Twilight interrupts your train of thought
- >"Can you show me how you held that pencil again?"
- >She seems to have recovered her breath
- >You oblige, and the conversation quickly turns to the bone structure in your hands, which you sketch
- >That in turn segues into human bone structure, which you also sketch to the best of your memory
- >And then a crash course in human biology...
- >You step out of the tree, clad once again in your cold weather gear
- >Twilight said a response letter will take anywhere from a day to a week
- >Apparently the princess leads a busy life
- >Rainbow Dash is still inside Twilight's house, unconscious
- >She took a pretty good knock from your windshield; You'll come back and meet her later
- >Twilight still has many more questions, but you (and AppleJack) want to get to Rarity's before lunch
- >As you turn to face your truck, a strange sight greets you
- >It is completely covered in p0nies
- >Top to bottom, in the truckbed, on the hood, there are even two fillies on the rear bumper
- >At the sight of you they all dismount and run away
- You p0nies are a curious lot
- >You comment to AppleJack
- >It has started snowing again, so you don your goggles and scarf
- >As she leads you through town, most of the townsp0nies stop and stare at you
- >This would take some getting used to, but it wasn't unexpected
- >Eventually, you approach the building that looks like a carousel
- >"That's Carousel Boutique"
- >AppleJack leads you inside
- >The place looks like a clothing designer's wet dream
- >Cloth, sewing equipment, and what must be all the finest dresses
- >There's even a section devoted to scarves, boots and other winter apparel
- >"Rarity! Rarity! Ah've got a visitor for ya!" calls AppleJack
- >"Just a miiinuuute" returns a dainty sounding voice
- >"Ah should warn ya, Rarity's a bit... Fancy" whispers AppleJack
- >Around the corner walks a white unicorn with a curly purple mane
- >"Now then, Who has come t-"
- >She stops mid sentence when she notices you
- >Fuck, you forgot to take your goggles and scarf off again
- >you remove them hastily and make a bow
- You must be Miss Rarity. My name is Anonymous. It's a pleasure to meet you
- >Her eyes widen even further at your sudden display of politeness
- >You could be genteel and charming when you wanted to
- >She seems to make a decision in her head, and resumes her forward motion
- >"Well Mr. Anonymous, it is quite nice to meet you as well. Such a gentlecolt!"
- Please, call me Anonymous
- >She makes a circle around you, examining your clothing
- I come here in need of clothing
- >"That much is obvious" she comments
- What do you need me to do?
- >"Well darling, you must have those horrid things off first. I need to take your measurements."
- >You tromp over by the door and begin stripping off your cold weather gear
- >As you do so, you notice AppleJack whispering in Rarity's ear
- >Whatever, none of your business
- >As you walk back over to the two p0nies, Rarity looks at you with new respect in her eyes
- >"You'll have to take off the under layers too, or I won't get accurate measurements"
- >You glance around, looking for dressing rooms
- >Oh, fuck it
- >This place is full of nudists anyway
- >And you'll keep the important clothing on
- >You sigh and strip off your pants and shirt
- >You set your holster on a side table
- >You are now standing in front of the two p0nies in your boxers
- >You're no Arnie, but you keep yourself in shape
- >Both of the p0nies blush slightly
- >"My, my, my" mutters Rarity
- >The hell is that supposed to mean?
- >Her horn glows blue, and a measuring tape animates and begins measuring various portions of your anatomy
- >After a minute, the measuring tape sets back down and you put your clothes back on
- >"Now then dear, what sort of clothing do you want?"
- I'd like a few pairs of pants, a few shirts, several sets of socks and some underwear if you can manage it
- >You point to the various pieces of clothing as you name them
- As far as payment goes...
- >"Oh, I wouldn't dream of charging you! Not for somep0ny in such need, not after what you've done..."
- >You stare at AppleJack
- >She shrugs
- >"I'll have them ready in a few days. Until then, ta ta"
- >And with that, you exit Carousel Boutique
- >"Ah don't know about you, but ah'm famished"
- >Your growling stomach answers the question for you
- >"Ah know just the place"
- Lead on
- >You follow AppleJack as she leads you to the giant cupcake you noticed earlier
- >You seem to be on a tour of all the most visually interesting buildings of town today
- >The cupcake proves to be just as colorful on the inside as outside
- >When you enter the store, all the other p0nies quickly vacate the premises
- >Guess they didn't care to be in such close proximity to a huge, bipedal stranger
- >This presents you with mixed feelings
- >While you don't want your presence to scare the residents of this town
- >You also don't mind not having to wait in line
- >The p0ny working the register sticks around though
- >...And it's none other than Pinkie Pie
- >You crack your neck
- >This will be interesting
- >"Howdy Pinkie, ah'll take the usual"
- >"okie dokie! And what does Anonymous want?"
- >You look down at the impressive display case
- >So many choices
- >You've never seen grass buns before
- >You end up taking a few doughnuts
- >Pinkie bags them up, along with a few apple fritters
- >You dig into your pockets and pull out your wallet
- >Oh, right
- I don't suppose you take VISA?
- >"Nope!"
- Then I'm afraid I can't take your food
- >"Nonsense! Ah'll cover it. Pinkie, put it on mah tab"
- But...
- >"No buts! Ah insist!"
- >Usually you would press the matter
- >But AppleJack obviously isn't going to take no for an answer
- >So you take your bag and leave the bakery with her
- >"So, where to now?"
- I'd like to go check on Dash, make sure she's alright
- >The doughnuts make a tasty lunch as the two of you walk back over to Twilight's
- >At the door of the housebrary, you both stop and look at teach other
- Do you want to, or shall I?
- >"Go ahead"
- >You reach out and knock on the door
- >Twilight opens it for you
- How's she doing?
- >"Dash? Oh, she's alright. She had a bit of a concussion, but nothing I couldn't fix"
- >So healing magic is also a thing here
- >You'll have to ask Twilight just what magic can do at some point
- >"She should be waking up soon"
- >She steps aside and allows you and AppleJack to enter
- >As you shed your layers, you look over at Dash
- >Still on the couch, she shifts, revealing a small cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt on her flank
- >Now that you think of it, you'll have to ask Twilight about that
- >She smiles in her sleep
- >You hope she's having a good dream
- >Because she's probably not going to be happy to see you
- >With that thought, you step through the door you saw Spike enter through earlier, and close it behind you
- >Your ugly mug isn't the first thing she needs to see when she wakes up
- >You find yourself in a small kitchen
- >Through the door, you can hear the cyan pony begin to stir
- >"Hey Dash, easy now, you took a pretty good knock to the head"
- >This from Twilight
- >You hear Dash get off the couch
- >"Twilight, you have to come with me!"
- >"Why?"
- >"There was this big, roaring thing approaching the edge of town! It had Big Mac and Applebloom and AppleJack and this black thing inside of it!"
- >"I think it ate them!"
- >That's your cue
- >YOu step back through the door
- >"AAAH! WHAT IS THAT THING?"
- >Dash rockets up into the rafters and hovers, staring at you
- >"Rainbow Dash, this is Anonymous"
- >Why is this becoming such a common occurrence?
- >Rainbow doesn't seem to hear Twilight
- >She's too busy making a beeline for your skull
- >You duck her first pass, and her second
- Oh come on!
- >A purple glow envelopes Rainbow and halts her flight
- >"Rainbow Dash, behave yourself!"
- >"What? Twi, what the hay are you doing! That thing had AppleJack! For all I know, she-"
- >"She's raight here"
- >Damn
- >You had to hand it to AppleJack
- >She sure knows when to make an entrance
- >"But it - and she- I..."
- >Rainbow peters off into silence in the face of the evidence
- I think we got off to a bad start. I'm Anonymous. Nice ta meetcha
- >Dash finally succumbs to reason and stops struggling
- >Twilight releases her, and she floats down to eye level
- >"I'm Rainbow Dash... Sorry about trying to piledrive your skull earlier"
- Hey, no offense taken. I'd probably have a similar reaction if something like me showed up in my house
- Wait, that came out wrong...
- >She chuckles a bit
- So you're Rainbow Dash? The fastest Pegasus in all of Ponyville?
- >"You're darn right I am!"
- >Nothing like a little ego stroking to bring someone out of a shitty mood
- >Rainbow glances out the window
- >"Oh buck! It's not supposed to be snowing today! I gotta go!"
- >She zooms out the door, leaving a trail of swirling papers in her wake
- >Guess there might be something to AppleJack's claim after all
- >You look at Twilight quizzically
- >She picks up your look
- >"What?"
- It's not supposed to be snowing today?
- >"Oh, right. I don't know what you do where you come from, but here Pegasus control the weather by pushing clouds around."
- >Of course
- >Why would you have Pegasus unless you needed something to push clouds around?
- >That makes perfect sense
- >Twilight picks up a notebook and pencil
- >"If you don't mind, I have more questions..."
- >The drive home is fairly uneventful
- >You step through the front door of AppleJack's barn
- >Today was an interesting day
- >There isn't too much conversation at the dinner table
- >Supper is once again delicious
- >It fills your stomach, but something pokes at your mind
- >Oh, right
- >You're no freeloader
- >And if you're gonna stay here for any amount of time
- >You're gonna need a job
- >Having resolved your directive, you head for the living room
- >An odd sight greets your eyes
- >AppleJack is struggling to drag a Pony-sized bed into the living room
- >You walk over hand help her, noticing another in the hallway
- >"Ah figured you could use these"
- >"They're from the guest room, but it isn't heated"
- Well thanks AppleJack, I appreciate it
- >As you settle down to sleep, you feel...
- >Happy
- >Things are looking up
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