MLP:RtM 1-2 Friendship is Magic

My Little Pony: Reliving the Magic

>There's a bright flash of light and you wake up on the floor of Golden Oaks Library
>A purple pony with cute bangs is looking down on you in awe
"Twilight...?"
>"Wow! I can't believe the summoning spell worked! But how do you know my name?"
>Pretty sure you read this greentext on /mlp/ before
>You sit up, holding your pounding, groggy head
>You sigh and take a deep breath
"Your spell brought me here from another world. In my world, stories of your adventures... the adventures of Twilight Sparkle and her friends... they're told in a television show."
>"A what?"
"It’s like... you have film projectors, right?”
>Of course they do.
>Episode 48: Hurricane Fluttershy.
>You have a freakishly good memory of the show.
>Makes sense, since you are pretty obsessed with it.
“I know all about you and your adventures. You and your friends use the magic of friendship to accomplish many awesome things. Stopping Discord... Saving the Crystal Empire... Becoming a princess...”
>Suddenly, there's a sinking feeling in your chest.
>You jump to your feet and sidestep around Twilight
>nowings.jpg
>Also, Golden Oaks Library was destroyed at the end of Season 4
>Your heart starts pounding
>You grab her
"What... WHICH EPISODE IS THIS?"
>She shoves you away
>”What the heck are you talking about?! I...”
>She slumps down onto the floor and tears start to form in her eyes
>”I don’t have any friends.”
>Your eyes grow wide
>It’s the beginning of Friendship is Magic part 1.
>WhathaveIdone.jpg

>You nervously pace a in a circle around the room
>Shitshitshitshit this is bad
>Have I ruined the spacetime continuum or some shit by spoiling the future?
>Twilight watches you carefully with fear in her eyes
>"Why... why are you upset? Aren't you here to help me? I summoned you to help me..."
"With?"
>"...Nightmare Moon."
>You sigh and resume your pacing
>Think, Anon, think
>Living in a happy land of colorful talking ponies has always been your dream
>You're not about to let it be ruined by eternal darkness and sad ponies
>And here Twilight is, summoning you instead of making friends in Episode 1
>Damn it Celestia, you could've told her why she needs to make friends!
>No, it has to be unplanned. Candid.
>She has to genuinely make friends with the others, without having a motive
>OK, Anon, you can fix this
"Who's handling the Summer Sun Celebration preparations?"
>"I sent Spike out to go take care of them so I could come here and try to figure out a plan."
"How long ago?"
>"About thirty minutes."
>You grab her by the shoulder and head for the door
"We have to find him. Now."
>You bust out the door and start heading down the street in search of the nearest mane 6
>Ponyville is just like you've always imagined it.
>It's magical
>But if you fuck this up it won't stay this way for long

>You spot Rainbow Dash lazing around on a nearby cloud
>It's the only cloud, the sky is otherwise clear
>Fuck
"Hey, Rainbow Dash!"
>She looks down to see who is calling her
>She flips out at the sight of a human
>"Whoa! A talking monkey!"
"I'm not a talking monkey, I'm... never mind. Just call me Anon."
>"Nice to meet you!"
"Right. Look, I need to introduce you to my really awesome friend, Twilight Sparkle."
>You gesture in Twilight's direction
>She gives a sheepish smile and doesn't say anything
>What is this? Is she Fluttershy now?
>You look back at Rainbow
"You guys should be friends."
>There is an awkward silence
>Rainbow shifts uncomfortably
>"Yeah I gotta get back to clearing the sky. This one last cloud is a real pain. Bye!"
>She flies away
>Fuck
>You notice a nearby mud puddle
>Idea!
>You shove Twilight down and she falls in the mud
>"Hey! What the--?"
"SHH!"
>You cup your hand to your mouth and yell upward
"Hey Rainbow Dash! Can you clean Twilight up?"
>Rainbow stares at you blankly
"With rain, or something?"
>"Oh, sure! Coming right up!"
>She uses her cloud to make dump some water on Twilight
>Twilight looks pissed
>She does the Rainblow Dry
>Twilight looks pissed
>You breathe a sigh of relief
"Wow, look at how good of friends you are! Well anyway, got to go! Bye!"
>You drag Twilight away
>Twilight looks pissed

>You're standing in an orchard at Sweet Apple Acres
>Twilight's hair looks like shit
>OK you may have done this in the wrong order
>Maybe your memory of the show wasn't all that great
>Whatever
>You approach the food table and find some ponies cleaning up... dirty dishes
>Fuck, you missed brunch
>Suddenly it dawns on you
>Doing it in the wrong order fucked up all of the timing
>You missed Twilight's chance to meet Applejack
"Um, excuse me? Has a little purple dragon come by here?"
>Twilight's just decided to stay quiet and let you do all of the talking
>She's confused enough as it is
>That this human she summoned from another world just started marching around introducing her to people
>"He was here a little while ago. He was checking on the food for the Summer--"
"Good. Where's Applejack?"
>"She went back to apple bucking."
"Thanks."
>You storm off
>Twilight hesitates
>You turn and wave her on
"COME ON!"
>The two of you climb to the top of a hill
>You gaze over the vast rolling fields of Sweet Apple Acres
>Acres and acres covered in a dense canopy of apple treetops
>Orangehat could be anywhere
>Fuck everything

>The sun is already starting to go down
>You've been wandering around the farm for hours
>You never realized it was so big from watching the show
>You wanted to die the third time you circled around the future CMC clubhouse
>Your feet hurt
>Twilight looks tired and bored
>Welp, good job, Anon, you single handedly fucked up all of FiM continuity
>It could've been a perfect world but nope
>Now it's going to be nighttime eternal and all of the mane 6 are going to be enslaved
>And it's all your fault
>Suddenly, you spot a bit of orange in the distance
>Applejack carrying a bucket of apples
>You break into a sprint, screaming
"APPLEJACK! APPLEJACK!"
>She was always your waifu but you never thought you'd be this happy to see her
>Tears streaming from your eyes as you approach her
>She freaks and bucks you in the chest
>You fly backwards into a tree and hit your head
>You black out

>You come to
>You're back in Golden Oaks Library, on the bed
>"Anon?"
>Twilight is there looking down on you once again
>"Anon! You're awake!"
>She smiles and sits back on her haunches
>"I'm so glad you're all right."
"How...?"
>"I carried you back from the farm after that crazy mare kicked you."
>Uh oh
>"You must've startled her pretty badly! I guess she'd never seen a human before. Nobody has."
>You close your eyes
>"So I carried you back to the library. Some random pony was here trying to throw a welcome party but I kicked them out so you can get some rest."
>Wow, way to fuck it up even more, Twilight
>Still, if you hadn't acted like some autistic faggot back there with Applejack, this wouldn't have happened
"I'm such an idiot..."
>"I don't think you're an idiot, Anon! Besides, don't worry. We won't have to talk to her any more."
>Great
>"Because you're gonna tell me exactly what's going on."
>GREAT

>You gaze into Twilight's eyes
"I'm from the future."
>"You're from the FUTURE?"
"Yes, and--"
>"I can't believe time travel is really possible! How did you, I mean, I figure it out?"
>God damn it Twilight
>Wrong episode
"Listen. You've been right all along about Nightmare Moon. She's going to appear in the morning before dawn."
>Twilight gasps
>"I knew it! But... what do we do?"
>She looks at you with puppy dog eyes
>"Please..."
>Don't do this to me, Twilight
>Don't put the fate of your world in my hands
"You're the one who summoned me, Twilight. You're the one who foresaw all of this. You have to be the one who defeats her. Not me. But I will tell you what to do."
>She hesitates
>"OK. Tell me what I have to do."
"Well, you have to--"
>Wait, you can't tell her she needs to make friends with Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy
>If she knows about it, their friendship won't be real
>And the Elements of Harmony won't work
"...You have to do exactly as I tell you."

>You had to harass a few ponies in the wee hours of the night but apparently a few of them were heading to a party.
>Pinkie Pie probably decided to hold the all-night party at Sugarcube Corner instead of the library
>You decide to bring Spike along
>Not sure how he might help but what the hay
>The three of you arrive at the front door of the place, where you're greeted by that familiar bouncy pink party pony
>Her smile explodes into an even bigger smile at the sight of you
>Your heart fucking melts
>Time for a new waifu
>Your last one fucked you up, anyway
>"ANON! You're feeling better! Ohmygosh I'm so happy you're better! I was going to have a big welcome party for Twilight but--"
"Don't worry, Pinkie, I heard the story. Thanks for being so considerate. It's a pleasure to meet you."
>She ushers you inside, almost forgetting to invite Twilight and Spike in as well
>It's crowded
>You walk into the party with your usual swagger and all heads turn toward you
>Damn, you still got it
>Sure, they were all shocked by the sight of a human, but who cares
>This is a party
>You can do this
>You went to parties all the time
>Sure, you were introverted back home, but you can handle a party
>You're not some autistic sperglord
>You lean up against the punch table and grab a sip while you scan the room
>Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, check
>Wait
>Where's yellowquiet
"Hey, Pinkie Pie."
>"Yeah Anon?"
>she responds with extra bubbliness
>Does she have a thing for you?
>Nah she must do this with everyone
>Don't fall for it
"I heard about this really great pony named Fluttershy. Is she here?"
>Pinkie Pie suddenly looks sad
>Fuck, no
>Fuck
>Wait, Pinkie
>It's not like that
>"Umm, no. She was too shy to come."
>GOD DAMN IT FLUTTERSHY
>You're social enough to party at a library but not at Sugarcube Corner?!
>Wait, actually that makes a lot of sense

>You call Twilight and Spike over
"Okay, Twilight, you need to make friends with that white one over there."
>You point at Rarity, hanging out with Vinyl Scratch over by the hors d'oeuvres
>Twilight looks hesitant, but she trusts you
>She has no other choice
>No one else who can guide her
>"Got it!"
"Spike, I need you to help Twilight out. Be her wingman. I can count on you for that, right?"
>Spike looks unsure of himself
>But he agrees
>"Yes, sir!"
>He salutes you
>Fucking adorable
"Good. I need to run an errand. Don't worry, it's part of the mission. I'll be back soon. Keep the party alive."
>Team Anon nods in understanding and wishes you luck
>"Oooh, Oooh! What do I do?!"
>Pinkie startles you and you nearly drop your cup of punch
>She was eavesdropping
"Pinkie! Um... I... I..."
>She just looks at you intently
"Just, go help Twilight. I need to..."
>"Go get Fluttershy?" She says sadly
>This pony is tearing your heartstrings out
>Gah! Suck it up, Anon! Be a man!
>When you're saving the world you might have to break a few hearts
>You leave the party

>As a grown man watching the show, you never thought the Everfree Forest was all that scary
>Holy fuck is it scary
>You think to yourself as you walk along the path alongside it, leading to Fluttershy's house
>Now, you know you have to handle Fluttershy delicately if you're going to win her over and get her to come with you to the party
>You've been going over it in your head again and again but still haven't come up with anything
>You finally make it to the door but just stand there, frozen, trying to think about how to word it
>All of the lights are off
>She's probably asleep
>If some strange talking monkey you've never met came to your door in the middle of the night and asked you to go with him to a party, would you go?
>Well, maybe
>But Fluttershy wouldn't, that's for sure
>Ugh, you should've brought Pinkie Pie with you
>She'd know what to do
>But it took so long to walk here, there's no time to go back
>You decided to just say fuck it and knock on the door a few times.
>...
>Nothing
>You try again
>Suddenly, a tiny crack in the door opens
>It's a bear
>You jump backwards and are paralyzed with fear
>Welp, sorry I couldn't save Equestria
>Didn't even get to score any hot pony ass
>Is it sad that that's the thing you regret most?

"Mr. Bear!" How rude! Please apologize!"
>Fluttershy squeezes past the bear at the door and starts to walk forward
>You see her wearing sexiest nightgown you've ever seen
>She sees you trembling with fear on the ground, about to wet your pants
>Pretty intimidating, I know
>But she still turns bright red and runs back inside the house and closes it, embarrassed that you saw her in her nightwear
>Guess she doesn't think of you as an animal. That's a good sign.
>This is your chance to high-tail it out of there, but you decide to grow a pair and go back to the door
>There's a bear behind it, but there's also a Fluttershy
>A Fluttershy that you need to save the world
>You wait a few moments, then knock again
>You hear growling again, and bend your knees to get ready to run
>But you hear Fluttershy's soft cooing and then she opens the door a crack and slips outside
>She's not wearing anything, now
>Somehow, that's less arousing
>Weird huh
>"Can I help you?"
"Yeah. Um. My name is Anon. What's your name?"
>She mumbles softly
"Uh, sorry, I didn't quite catch that..."
>She murmurs softly and starts to whimper
>Why isn't this gag as funny in real life
>Fluttershy, the original sperglord, everyone
>At least her awkwardness makes you feel less weird about creeping around her house at 2 AM

>You carefully explain to Fluttershy that it's extremely important that she comes to this party
>You can't tell her why but she NEEDS to
>You start bullshitting about how Pinkie Pie is sad that she didn't come and how you have this awesome friend named Twilight Sparkle that she needs to meet
>She doesn't seem sold yet
"Also, have you met Pinkie Pie's cute toothless alligator, Gummy?"
>Don't do it, Anon
>Stop your fucking mouth
"He's uh, really, really sick!"
>She slams the door and you hear rummaging around inside
>She appears back at the door with her hat on and her medicine basket hanging from her mouth
>"Well, let's GO, Anon!"
>Ohboyherewego.jpg

"And she's really smart and likes books. Also, she likes animals, and she has this talking baby dragon who's a really cool guy..."
>Fluttershy smiles and nods but has her mind elsewhere
>Gummy, probably
>When Sugarcube Corner is in sight you hustle to get in front of Fluttershy
>Which is hard because she's on a mission
>You start jogging and make it to the door
>Loud noises coming from inside
>Good, party's still going strong
"Wait here while I go ask Pinkie Pie..."
>"That's OK. I know where Gummy is. I'll just go upstairs without interrupting the party."
"Hahaha! No need for that! Just wait here!"
>You block the door
>She tries to push past you
>The door swings open and you both fall on the floor, inside
>Fluttershy's on top of you
>Pinkie Pie is standing above both of you
>Pretty sure you've seen this harem anime before
>"Pinkie! Is Gummy all right?! I'm here to help! You fed him candy again, didn't you?"
>"Fluttershy, you silly goose! Gummy isn't sick!"
>Fluttershy steps off of you and looks at you
>Uh oh, she's pissed
>Think quickly
"Oh, you mean, Gummy got better all of a sudden?"
>You wink at Pinkie
>She gasps
>"Rrrrrriiiiiiggghhhht! He was sick until just now! Anon didn't know he was better!"
>Fluttershy dusts herself off
>"Well, I'm going to go home and go back to sleep."
"WAIT!"
>She turns and looks at you
"So long as you're here, come meet my awesome friend, Twilight Sparkle."

>It took forever but you finally set Fluttershy up in a decent conversation with Twilight and Spike
>Yellowquiet seems really interested in the baby dragon so that's proceeding just like it did in the show
>Woo, good sign
>Okay, time to take a deep breath and reassess the situation
>Rainbow Dash? Re-enacted the Rainblow Dry scene from the show. Check.
>Applejack? Bucked me up but at least she got introduced. Check.
>Pinkie Pie? Check.
>Fluttershy? Check.
>Rarity? Didn't get a visual, but check.
>All right, you can do this
>Suddenly you start to feel sleepy
>God damn it not now
>You never were much for pulling all-nighters
>You stumble up the stairs and look for the door to Pink's room
>Must be the pink one
>That was easy
>You crumple on the bed
>Suddenly there's a shriek
>Applejack groggily rolls over from under the covers and sits up
>"You dryin' sum funnnnny bidzness 'gain, Anon?"
"Oh good, you're drunk."
>"Fuck yeah I'm drunk! Always party hard before Shummer Shun Celebrashun. Might happy party got moved 'ere from da liberry. Ain't 'llowed to bring boose in there."
"Of course you can't."
>"Now dun be dryin' to feel me up 'gain, Anon, like some dern perv. I'll buck ya from here to Fillydelphya..."
>She drops back onto the pillow and passes out
>Facepalm

>You actually are about to grab a handful of that firm apple ass when suddenly someone busts into the room
>You cram your hands down below the covers
>It's Twilight
>She looks at you with disapproval
>"Is this part of the mission too?"
>Fuck you, Twilight
"What is it?"
>"It's time to go. The ceremony is going to start soon."
"Already? But..."
>You look at Applejack
>You need her to awaken the Elements of Harmony and save Equestria
>And she's fucking wasted
"Help me carry her."
>"What? Just leave her here!"
"Let's carry her!"
>"Are you crazy, Anon? Wait, I already know the answer to that."
>You think it over for a moment
>In Episode 2, the ponies all come back to the library before they go chase down Nightmare Moon
>You could make a stop back here at Sugarcube Corner and get her
>Keep it together Anon
>You try to go over the episode in your head again and again, trying to remember if this would create any plotholes or ruin anything
>No, it should be fine
>You and Twilight exit Pinkie Pie's room and close the door on the snoring AJ
>You and Twilight head down the stairs
>You pass Spike, sleeping on a couch
>All of the partygoers are clearing out and heading to the festival
>You follow along with them
>But all along you can't help but to still think that everything that could have gone wrong has gone wrong
>What is this Murphy's Law version of FiM that you've created
>Why did this happen
"Twilight, why did you summon me?"
>"Huh? To... to help me defeat Nightmare Moon! I told you!"
"No, I mean... why didn't you do the Summer Sun Celebration preparations on your own? Why make Spike do it?"
>"So I could check out the library and do some research. We've been over this!"
"Right, but... never mind."
>You look down at the ground as you walk
>Why
>Why does that make sense

>Mayor Mare on the podium
>"... And now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria..."
>You yawn, bored 'cause you know what's going to happen next
>Also you just pulled an all-nighter for the first time in your life
>As if catching a flight to another dimension wasn't exhausting enough
>Imagine if there had also been a time change
>Dimension lag? Kinda like jet lag
>That would've sucked
>Oh, you, glance back up at the stage
>Must've zoned out for a minute there
"She's gone!"
>Swirling starry smoke
>NMM appears
>You pretend to act shocked
>She does her spiel
>"...Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?"
>Twilight nudges you
>You look down at her
>She looks terrified and gazes at you with pleading eyes
>Uh, what do I say?
>Oh yeah
"SHE DID!"
>You point at Twilight
>She freaks
"Twilight knows who you are! Tell 'em, Twi!"
>She grows a pair and decides to raise her voice
>"You're the Mare in the Moon – Nightmare Moon!"
>"Well well well, somepony who remembers me. Then you also know why I'm here."
>"Well it doesn't matter! Because Anon and I are going to stop you!"
>SHUT UP TWILIGHT

>You head back to Sugarcube Corner and run up the stairs two at a time
>Bust into Pinkie's room
>AJ's still there, sound asleep
>Whew
>You go over to her and try to shake her awake
"Applejack. Applejack... get up..."
>Still asleep
>You clench your fists
>OK, we do this the hard way
>You try to lift her
>These ponies are pretty heavy
>You are able to crouch down and get your arm around her, then lead her down the stairs while she's doing some kind of weird sleepwalking thing
>You've put plenty of drunk friends to bed before
>Never had to get them out of bed
>Head downstairs to find a Rainbow Dash harassing Twilight in main area
>"And just what are the Elements of Harmony? And how did you know about Nightmare Moon, huh? Are you a spy?"
"She's not a spy."
>You speak up in place of Applejack
>You drop Applejack on the couch next to Spike
>Twilight explains
>"I read all about the prediction of Nightmare Moon. Some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are the only things that can stop her, but I don't know what they are, where to find them; I don't even know what they do!"
>Pinkie perks up
>"Did you check under 'E' in the library?"
>Twilight gasps
>Twilight facepalms
>You facepalm
>You look around the room
>Everyone's here, except
>No Rarity
>There IS a white pony there though
>Vinyl Scratch
>"Yo, Twi, what do we do now?" she asks
>You suddenly have a heart attack
>you remember earlier:
"Okay, Twilight, you need to make friends with that white one over there."
>You point at Rarity, hanging out with Vinyl Scratch over by the hors d'oeuvres
>hanging out with Vinyl Scratch
>Vinyl Scratch is white

>Damn it Rarity is one of your favorite ponies
>She can't not be in the Elements of Harmony
>And you don't even know if Vinyl Scratch is generous
>All you know about her is fanon stuff that probably isn't even legit in this world
>"Anon?"
>All of the ponies are looking at you
>"Twilight says you know about the Elements of Harmony."
>You try to remember what spoilerific information you are allowed to disclose at this point
"There are six of them. Five of them are Honesty, Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, and Loyalty. The sixth... is secret. But when you get the first five, a spark will make the sixth one appear. And the first five are in the old castle of the Royal Sisters. In... the Everfree Forest."
>The ponies just stare at you
>"How do you know all of this?" Rainbow interrogates you
>Fuck you Rainbow
"Look, just come with us. All of you. Even you."
>You point at Vinyl
>She just looks at you funny
>You look at Applejack
>Well, I'M not gonna be the Element of Honesty
"She's coming too."
>"Are you crazy?" RD yells.
"Just find me a cart."

>Following behind Twilight, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash
>You're pulling a horse cart through Ponyville
>Ironic that you're the only one who isn't a horse
>Also, there's a horse in the cart
>Whatismylife.jpg
>You come to Carousel Boutique
>Rarity is hiding inside just like the Mayor instructed everyone
>Just need to get her to come out
>Start banging on the door
"Rarity! Rarity! Get out here!"
>"Go away Nightmare Moon!"
"It's Anon, from the party!"
>"...Anon? No, stay away!"
>You look at Vinyl
"OK, just like we planned."
>She rolls up her wub cannon
>Guess some things are like the fanon after all
>That's pretty gay
>Sick wubs fill fill the streets
>You'll blast her out with sound if you have to
>Finally Rarity emerges
>"Turn that dreadful noise off!"
>Vinyl looks hurt
>"Noise? You crazy, you little mare?"
>Vinyl shuts the music
>"Well, Anon, I think this one needs to be taken by force!"
>Rarity puts up her hooves
>"Bring it on!"
>You step between them
"No, people, let's be smart and bring it off."

"Rarity, look, there isn't much time to explain. We need your help to fight Nightmare Moon."
>Rarity looks aghast and is about to blow you off
>Then she notices how all of the other ponies are backing you up
>Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Vinyl Scratch
How they all seem to trust you for some crazy reason
>Because in this shitty version of Friendship is Magic part 2, you're all they've got
"Rarity, be a little GENEROUS and come help us."
>Shit that was a little too obvious
>Rarity mulls it over, then decides to help you
>"OK, let me go put on some accessories."
>You grab her and pull her with you
"No time, come on!"
>You guys all start walking toward the Everfree Forest
>Rarity's watching you pull the horse cart with hungover AJ in it
>After a while Rarity starts complaining that her hooves hurt from all the walking
>She asks to ride in the cart
>She just climbs in the cart and pushes AJ aside to make room for herself
>The cart is so heavy now that you can barely keep up with the unladen ponies
>Nobody offers to help pull

>You try to go over the episode in your head
>Which part was first?
>Pretty sure it was Applejack and the cliff first
>The path is already turning and traveling alongside a big ravine
>Shit
>You stop the wooden horse cart and try to wake AJ up again
>She groggily rises, finally
>"Aw, shucks, what'd I miss?"
>Rarity turns up her nose and complains that she reeks of cider
>You're the one who got in the cart, you know
"A lot. But look, get out of the cart."
>As you help AJ up over the side wall of the cart, you feel the earth at your feet give way
>You lose your footing and start falling
>The cart starts to slide down toward the cliff
>You grab both handles of the cart and lean back
>But you keep sliding down the rocky slope
>Finally your foot brakes against a big rock footstop
>The cart is hanging over the cliff with Rarity and AJ dangling from it
>You look around
>Rainbow has Vinyl
>Fluttershy has Twilight
>Pinkie Pie jumped to a safe place
>Your muscles cry out in pain as you struggle to balance the cart and the weight of the two ponies
>Your muscles give way and your grip loosens
>The handles slide out of your hand

>As the cart escapes your grasp, you feel everything else sliding out of your grasp too
>All your dreams of coming to Equestria and hanging with the mane 6
>You couldn't even keep two of them alive
>Suddenly a rainbow across your field of vision
>Rainbow Dash blazes through the sky and plummets into a dive down below the cliff
>RD you magnificent bastard
>She flies back up carrying Rarity and Applejack
>You're crying now
>You hug all three of them
"I'm sorry... I couldn't!"
>"It's OK, Anon," Rarity says as Rainbow sets her down
>"Nopony coulda held the two of us AND the cart," Applejack adds
>"Yeah, don't be so hard on yourself, Anon!" Rainbow slaps you on the back
>The ponies all laugh about what a relief it was and start heading down the safe path toward the bottom
>You're just standing there, frozen
>Applejack missed her chance to prove she's the Element of Honesty
>Now you've done it

>You're still beating yourself up as you come to the manticore
>At least the cart was destroyed so hangover and freeloader have to walk now
>But still, how are you going to rectify this?
>Anyway the manticore roars
>Everyone freaks out and starts attacking it
>You just lean against a tree and yawn
>Might as well let Fluttershy do her thang
>Plus you're fucking tired
>As if your circadian clock wasn't already messed up by staying all night
>Now it's perma-night
>You're zoning out
>Suddenly a swift kick from Rarity sends the manticore in your direction
>Fuck
>He spots you and starts running toward you
>Isthisreallife.jpg
>Out of nowhere, a yellow blur
>"This might hurt just a bit!"
>She does a fucking flying side kick into the side of the manticore's head
>He stumbles, then whimpers and runs off into the forest
>JESUS H. CHRIST
>You're paralyzed with fear
>"Wow, Fluttershy! You saved Anon!" everyone cheers
>"Yeah," she says meekly, smiling at you. "He'll be OK. I didn't kick him that hard. Just enough to get him to go away."
>Suddenly you feel a stinging on your chest
>You look down
>Blood
>And three diagonal red lines across your shirt and body
>Did the manticore slash you with his claws just as he was getting kicked?
>"Oh, no! Anon! You're hurt!"
>Fluttershy grabs her medicine basket and tells you to sit down
>She starts applying medicine to your cuts
>You manage to chuckle
"Wow, look how KIND Fluttershy is, everyone."

>"...She said Pinkie! You've got to stand up tall! Learn to face your fears! You'll see, that they can't hurt you, just laugh to make them disappear!"
>"DROP THE BASS!"
>Vinyl pulls some huge ass speakers out of hammerspace and slams her hoof down on a big red button
>Suddenly Pinkie breaks out into a dubstep version of the Laughter Song
>All of the other ponies are just standing around shocked and confused and terrified by the scary trees combined with the disorienting wubwubs
>Vinyl dancing while Pinkie Pie runs around laughing at trees
>It's like a fever dream
>You start cracking up at the ridiculousness of the situation
>This part of the episode always amused you but with the added dubstep and the confused look on everyone's faces you just can't hold it in
>You fall on the ground laughing hysterically
>Scary trees disappearing right and left

>Your chest hurts from laughing so hard
>Also there's the fact that you were mauled by a lion monster but yeah whatever
>You try to sober up as you fall in line behind the ponies
>Kindness, check.
>Laughter, check.
>Honesty, fucked.
>If you had just been prepared for the cliff scene it might've worked out fine like the other two
>Don't worry, there's still time to get her to tell the truth
>But how?
>She still looks hung over as fuck
>"BOO HOO!"
>Steven Magnet
>Rarity doin' her thing
>Yup, no way we can mess this scene up
>Yup, no way
>"...Well, Anon here is clean shaven and I happen to think it's very stylish! Very IN! Maybe it's time for a change, darling!"
>YUP, NO WAY

>Magnet dries his tears and looks at you
>"R-Really? Do you think that I should chop my moustache off, Anon?"
>Fuck you, Rarity
>"Hell yeah pardner!"
>Wat.jpg
>Applejack jumps in front of the group
>"Ain't nothin' in this world handsomer than a good clean-shaven man! That's the honest truth!"
>YES
>DEAR GOD YES
>"Ain't that right, everypony?"
>Everyone nods in agreement
>Except Vinyl
>She just shrugs and mumbles something about how beards are hot
>Rainbow slaps her shit
>Magnet seems inspired by this little speech and decides that he wants to cut off his moustache
>Rarity plucks one of his scales and hands it to Rainbow
>She flies up and does the deed
"Wow, how GENEROUS of you... to uh, give him free fashion advice, Rarity! And way to be really HONEST, Applejack! Heh heh heh!"
>You look at Twilight
>Fuck she's onto you
>Magnet makes a bridge across the river and you all cross
>You're behind Applebutt
>Wait
>Back there
>Did she mean to say that she thinks you're handsome?

>"Oh no! The bridge is out! What do we do now?"
>"Duh," says Rainbow Dash
>She takes to the sky
>"Oh yeah"
>She disappears into the mist
>You watch the bridge get lifted up
>Then, in a matter of moments, she's back
>Whoa whoa whoa
>That was way too fast
"Um... did you tie the bridge up? That was quick."
>"Well I AM Rainbow DASH. Fastest flier in all of Equestria."
>This is all too suspicious
>You hold up your hand
"Look, just wait here, everyone. I'm just going to check it out. Make sure it's safe. Dash, spot me."
>The others wait patiently while you step onto the rickety bridge
>It wobbles under your step
>Don't look down don't look down don't look down
>Dash hovers over you keeping a close eye on you
>Within a few steps you look back and thick mist obscures the others
>You can barely see a few feet in front of you but you keep driving ahead
>"Anon? Rainbow Dash? Is everything OK?" Twilight calls from the distance
"We're fine!"
>Just then you reach the other side of the bridge
>Three stunningly beautiful women
>HUMAN women
>Dash makes a face

>A blonde, brunette, and redhead
>What is this a grade school joke
>They're wearing sexy lingerie
>"Anon! What are you doing with these ponies?"
>One of them comes up to you and caresses your cheek with her hand
>"Don't forget, Anon. You're a human."
>Another one adjusts her bra strap and looks at you with lust in her eyes
>"And we humans can love you in a way that no pony can."
>You clench your fists
>They are really really hot
>"Leave these ponies and come with us. We have to make use of this eternal night..."
>They beckon you
>You're sweating
>Rainbow Dash is looking at you now, wondering what you're gonna do
"I... I, uh..."
>You stammer
>This is fake
>You know it's all an illusion created by Nightmare Moon
>You've seen the episode
>So why do you feel paralyzed with indecision?
"Hey, bitch!"
>Rainbow Dash swats away one of the women
>"Hands off, all right? Let him make his own decisions!"
>You feel the warmth flowing back into your limbs
>Thanks, Dashie
"HEY! TWILIGHT! It's safe over here. Come on over!"
>You hear hoofsteps coming across the bridge
>"DAMN IT!" The women hiss, receding back into blue wisps of smoke and flying away
>You look at Dash
>She looks back at you
>"What? I'm not going to leave my friend hangin' when he's under some crazy mind trick illusion thing..."
>So loyal
>Wait, you knew?
>Guess it's different when it's not being played on her
>The others rejoin you and you continue on your way
>You make sure to tell the others about how Rainbow Dash had your back because she was so loyal
>You smile privately to yourself
>You wavered a bit, but you probably wouldn't have gone with those chicks anyway
>Because

>no hooves

>Even though they were fake, seeing humans again for the first time in a while awakened some deep emotions in you
>You grit your teeth and avoid eye contact with everyone in the group and just trudge on
>By the time you reach the castle of the two sisters, you have this churning, wretching feeling in your gut
>Keep it together Anon
>Keep it together
>You don't keep it together
>The burden of having the fate of Equestria
>No, the fate of Twilight and her friends
>On your shoulders
>Finally takes its toll on you and you drop to your knees
>"Anon?!" Pinkie Pie cries. "Are you OK?!"
"No... not really..."
>"What's wrong?" Twilight asks.
>Ain't that the question
>It's like
>All you've been doing is guiding these ponies along
>Trying to stick to the script of the original show
>But all you keep doing is messing up and changing the story
>Things seem to be working out OK in the short run
>But you're a scientist at heart and you believe in the Butterfly effect
>And you can't help but feel you've already set in motion the little mistakes that will send Equestria down a radically different path
>A path that you can't foresee because it wasn't in the show
>And so
>What use are you?
"I'll tell you what's wrong. I'm... I'm really scared."
>The ponies gasp
>Here, the wise benevolent creature who knows everything, who's been guiding their hooves
>Has been hiding fear and doubt in his heart all along
"I'm scared that the path I've set for you isn't the right one. I'm scared that I'm going to mess everything up. I'm scared that I can't make my dream become a reality."
>They all just look at you, listening intently
>You sit back against a rock and spread your legs out on the ground and try to relax
"Listen. I've done all I can do now. I'll wait here. All of you, go on ahead."

>"Ughhh enough with the melodrama, homie!"
>Vinyl lifts you back up onto your feet with telekinesis
>"We're not leaving you behind, Anon. You're our friend," Twilight Sparkle announced.
>"Yeh've got a good heart, Anon," Applejack adds.
>"Come on, it's way too late to be giving up now!" Rainbow Dash chimes in.
>"I believe in you Anon!" Pinkie Pie exclaims.
>"You brought us together for a reason, didn't you?" Rarity asks. "I'm so very thankful to have made some new friends."
>"And we're going to face our fears together," Fluttershy assures you. "Whether we know what's ahead of us or not."
>Guys
>YOU GUYS
>Your heart Is on fire
>You feel something wet on your face
>Is it raining?
>No, wait
>It's Liquid Pride

>"The Elements of Harmony! We found them! Careful, careful."
>Everyone works together to remove the big round stones from their pedestals
>Jesus this thing is like a fucking Atlas ball
>You set it down and roll it on the floor up to Twilight
>The five stones are gathered around
"OK, everyone, let's leave Twilight here to concentrate."
>You start ushering all of the other ponies out, leaving Twilight behind.
>"Wait! Anon! What do I do? Tell me!"
"The spark, Twi. Gotta make that spark! You can do it. I believe in you."
>You say with a sly smile over your shoulder
>You leave the room and wait outside with everyone else
>Rarity looks worried
>"Is she gonna be OK in there?"
"Oh, she'll be just fine."
>You silently mouth a countdown to yourself
>Three, two, one
>"Ah!" Twilight screams
>"Twilight!" Everyone else screams
>You all bust into the room as she's disappearing
>"Where'd she go?"
"There."
>You point through a window at a nearby castle tower
>"Come on!" Applejack yells
>You follow along, bored again
>Vinyl Scratch follows after you
>"I've got the perfect soundtrack if there's gonna be an epic fight, Anon!"
>I wouldn't count on it, Vinyl
>You run up the stairs, hollering and calling for Twilight along with everyone else
>You all bust into the room and you see that priceless look on her face
>The spark

>"You think you can destroy the Elements of Harmony just like that? Well you're wrong! Because the spirits of the Elements of Harmony are right... HERE!"
>Tell 'er, Twilight
>You strike a pose with everyone
>Nightmare Moon is shaking in her hooves
>"Fluttershy... who stood up to the manticore and cared for Anon, represents the spirit of... KINDNESS!"
>Fluttershy flies up and the shards of her element encircle her
>"Pinkie Pie, who banished fear by making Anon laugh like a lunatic, represents the spirit of... LAUGHTER!"
>Hey
>"Rainbow Dash, who wouldn't abandon Anon even when he lost sight of his rationality, represents the spirit of... LOYALTY!"
>God damn it Twilight shut up
>"Rarity, who paid forward the generosity bestowed upon her by Anon, represents the spirit of... GENEROSITY!"
>You shrug
>Kind of a stretch but all right whatever works for you in your head Twilight
>"And the one who had the courage to admit his own fear... Anon, who represents the spirit of... HONESTY!"
>wat.jpg

>The shards from the Element of Honesty start circling around you
>Shitshitshitshit NO
>You try to swat them away but they start to spiral in closer to you
>You even cut your hands on one of the sharp chunks of rock
>FUCK
>"The spirits of my friends got us through every challenge you threw at us!"
>"You still don't have the sixth Element! The spark didn't work!"
>"But it did! A different kind of spark. I felt it the very moment I realized how happy I was to hear you, to see you, how much I cared about you. The spark ignited inside me when I realized that you all... are my friends!"
>The Element of Magic appears above you
>"You see, Nightmare Moon, when those Elements are ignited by the... the spark, that resides in the heart of us all, it creates the sixth element: the element of... magic!"
>There's a bright flash of light as the Element of Magic starts glowing
>Everyone's rock shards are turning into necklaces
>You try to dodge it but it clasps onto your neck, nearly choking you
>Fuck, I REALLY didn't want to be one of the Elements of Harmony
>You search the room for Applejack, but she's just standing next to Vinyl, watching the spectacle in awe
>Applejack...
>Fuck it, it's too late now
>Just gotta roll with it, like I've been doing all along
>Ima_firin_malaysia.jpg
>You all group up and a huge rainbow energy beam arcs up through the air and comes crashing down on Nightmare Moon

>You wake up groggily again
>Part of you kind of hopes you're back on Earth
>Nope, still in Equestria
>"Ugh, my head..." Rainbow moans
"Is everypony OK?"
>Why yes, Anon, I feel better than ever!" comes a sultry voice
>Maniacal laughter
>You look up
>Nightmare Moon still there
>Everyone jumps to there feet and gets ready for battle
>You clear your throat
"Um, Twilight, sidebar?"
>She looks at you with exasperation
>You urge her to come over to you
>She rolls her eyes and walks over
>"WHAT? Can't you see the Elements didn't work?"
"Yeah, about that... I'm not actually the spirit of Honesty..."
>"What? B-but--"
"I've been lying to you all along."
>"Really?!"
>she looks horrified
"Well, I explained the truth at the beginning, but I don't think you quite understood me... and since then I've been dishonest with you. I'm not actually from the future. And I think I know what to do, but I don't. I've been dishonest with all of you!"
>You shout at the top of your lungs so everyone in the room can hear you now
>"TRAITOR!" Dash cries as she dodges an energy blast from NMM's horn
>You ignore her
>It doesn't matter any more
"The real Element of Honesty is over... THERE!"
>You point in Applejack's direction
>She's gone
>What
>"HEY, ANON!"
>Pinkie startles you again
>"It's not a sidebar if we can all hear you, silly head!"
"Oh... right. Sorry."
>"So I was wondering if you could wrap up this sidebar, actually," she continues
>"We kinda need you two now."
>She gestures over to Nightmare Moon
>Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity are valiantly fighting Nightmare Moon
>Applejack is bucking rocks at her
>Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are flying around her head dodging laser blasts
>Rarity is calling her names
>You go, girls
>Vinyl looks at you pleadingly
>You roll your eyes
"FINE."
>She whips out her wub cannon and hits the button

>You break into a run toward the fight, running alongside Twilight
>You pry that fucking necklace off your neck and toss it to her
"Get that on AJ! I'm counting on you!"
>She nods and starts to veer off, but her path is blocked by the sudden appearance of those three human bitches from earlier
>Not them again
>They start to close in on her
>You look around for anything to help
>You see a rusty sword mounted on the wall
>With some effort you manage to wrestle it free
"AAAAAGGGH!"
>You grunt as you charge forward with the sword, leaping in front of Twilight to protect her
>The brunette pounces on you, razor-sharp claws sprouting from her fingers and her eyes going crazy
>Does NMM think humans are cats or something?
>You dodge the attack and slice open her chest with the sword
>She disappears in a puff of starry smoke
>You pose dramatically and beckon the other two to come to you
>Pretty sure you've watched enough Chinese cartoons to know how to do this
>The redhead and blonde lunge at you but you quickly dispatch them with a flash of your blade
>They both disappear in a cloud of smoke
>In retrospect, if they were smoke you probably could've just foregone the sword and just charged through them
>Eh, whatever, you looked cool doing it

>You and Twilight start running again
>You do a double hop when a stray laser blast nearly vaporizes your foot
>You catch up to the fight, and try to distract Nightmare Moon with an insult
>You can't really think of anything clever, though, so you just call her a bitch
>Guess all that time practicing disses in the mirror was wasted
>She looks over at you, allowing Twilight to toss the necklace at AJ
>"Applejack! Catch!"
>She doesn't have to
>When it gets near her, the crystal transforms into the shape of an apple
>Shame you couldn't tell what it was before
>The necklace magically clasps around her neck
"All right, ponies! Take two!"
>The mane six all run to your side and form a circle around you
>Twilight activates the Element of Magic, and all of the ponies start to glow
>You glance over your shoulder and wink at Rainbow
>Still think I'm a traitor?
>She huffs, but then rolls her eyes and flashes you a trusting smile
>You stare down Nightmare Moon as she starts to buck in fear
>At the last second, Vinyl comes running up and joins you in the center of the circle
>Both of you pump an arm high into the air as a sign of triumph
>The two of you are engulfed in a blinding white light and a dazzling swirl of intense color...

>You're standing on the outskirts of Ponyville at the top of a windy hill
>You're looking down at the town square, where there's a big party and processional for Twilight Sparkle and her friends
>They all wanted you to be there for the big celebration
>You did just help save the world after all
>But you weren't feeling it, and left near the beginning
>Sigh
>Though the circumstances were different, the results were the same
>The Elements of Harmony were discovered by Twilight and her friends and Equestria was saved from eternal night
>It's what you had wanted all along
>It's what drove you to do all the crazy things on your adventure
>So why aren't you down there partying with your friends?
>Why do you feel emptiness inside?
>Oh.
>Right.
>It's because you didn't really do anything.
>Had Twilight not summoned you, she would've just proceeded with the Summer Sun Celebration plans
>She would have made new friends and discovered the Elements of Harmony on her own
>Without you
>Everything you did was unnecessary
>It only served to make things harder for everyone
>It was probably best to put a lot of distance between yourself and Ponyville now
>All of your memories of the show were worthless now
>Wouldn't want any of that useless knowledge to hurt the Mane 6 any more than it's already had
>Maybe you could make a new life for yourself in Seaddle
>Never got to make it up to Seattle in the human world, so this is the next best thing
>You set off down the dusty road
>Hoofsteps behind you
>"Anon! Wait!"
>"Anon, where ya goin', pardner?"
>"Anon, darling, where in heaven's name are you going?"
>"Yo, Anon, you're missing an AWESOME party."
>"Um... Anon... don't go... I mean, unless you really want to..."
>"Anon... please, hear us out."

>"So you're saying this... 'human' helped you?"
>Princess Celestia eyes you up and down carefully
>You bow deeply and try not to offend her
>"Princess Celestia... he helped all of us," Twilight explains
>Twilight turns and approaches you
>"Princess Celestia... you've asked me to stay in Ponyville and report on my findings on the magic of friendship. Well, can I give you my very first report, right now?"
>Celestia nods
>Twilight lifts up your chin and looks into your eyes
>"Anon's taught me so much in the past couple of days..."
>Your face feels hot and you look away, but she keeps looking straight at you
>"Princess Celestia. There may only be magical artifacts for the six main Elements of Harmony: Honesty, Laughter, Kindness, Generosity, Loyalty, and Magic. But there are many many more elements of friendship! Heck, there might even be dozens more! Or HUNDREDS! Bravery... Humility... Sacrifice... Determination... Guidance... Encouragement... And Forgiveness."
>She embraces you in a big hug
>"You demonstrated these things because you had an ideal in your mind that you were willing to fight for. You put your faith in us to make it real. And you gave us a reason to believe in you. It doesn't matter if it's not perfect, or if we don't know where our future leads. You showed us lots of Elements, Anon! All because you trusted us, some ponies you didn't even know."
>You're trembling now
>Damn it Anon, hold it together
>"That's why we made this for you, Anon."
>Rarity steps forward with a silver chain necklace
>And in the center, there is a green jewel carved in the shape of two chain links linked together
>You can tell she threw it together at the last second
>You adore it
>"Anon... we want you to be the honorary Element of Trust."

>All of the mane six gather around you in a big group hug
"I... I don't know what to say...!"
>"You can say that you'll stay here in Ponyville with us!" Pinkie Pie chirps
"I think I'd actually like to visit my world once in a while, now that I think about it."
>"I think that can be arranged," Celestia assures you.
"Great... OK then. I'll stay!"
>"Woo hoo! Anon's staying!" Rainbow and Applejack holler in unison
>Pinkie Pie starts making all manner of crazy noises
>Fluttershy hugs your arm tightly
>Rarity places the necklace around your neck
>Damn it, guys
>Twilight rests her hoof on your chest
>"You've taught us a lot about friendship, Anon. I can't wait to learn more, together with you!"
>Tears well up in your eyes
>Twilight, you idiot
>Everything I know about friendship
>I learned from you guys
>Long before we ever met

THE END