Perfect Rainbro story as per requests from thread

Initial request:
Give me a little of that sweet Rainbro, please AiE.

Initial paste:
>You are Anon
"Hey Rainbow Dash, let's cuddle non-sexually!"
>"Ok, bro."
>You eventually fuck.
>The end

Changelog:
>Needs more feeling.
V1.1 - Added more feelings.
>More romance
>Needs some forced drama
V1.2 - Added more romance and forced drama.
>More crusty jugglers. I mean cunts
>Needs some laughs and Dash being tsundere, with Anon being denser than every harem protag combined.
And mistress maid Gilda.
V1.3 - Added more cunts, a laugh, tsundere Dash, Denseness, and maid Gilda.
>That was great and all, but it could use a little more cowbell
V1.4 - Added more cowbell.
V1.5 - Fixed the spelling of the word "feathers".

Final result:

>You are Anonymous
"Hey Rainbow Dash, let's cuddle non-sexually!", - you say not implying anything but it. Over the last couple of months you have grown fond of your little cuddling sessions - after all that's what ponies were only good for. The only pony you were able to hold a semi-decent conversation without getting too childish was Rainbro.
>"Ok, bro.", - rainbow dash says.
>"NOT THAT I REALLY WANT TO! YOU BIG DUMB MONKEY!" she suddenly screams in frustration and hits you square in the chest, making you fall down on the bed, spraying your arms widely.
>You don't have a slightest idea what that was for.
>"Oh my god i'm so sorry, Anon, you will now never forgive me. NOW FUCK ME ALREADY!"
"That's a funny joke, Rainbow Dash", - you say, completely missing the point that it was not a joke.
>Rainbow dashes out of your room, and immediately returns wearing a saddle and a cowbell.
>You suddenly realize that sexy talking farm animals is your fetish.
>You eventually fuck very passionately and romantically on a bed with rose petals sprayed all over, with dim candle light barely lighting the dark room and with muffled screams indicating the beautiful act of two dearest friends enjoying their sudden next steps in relationship.
>At the end of the act the very moment you both come in a righteous fury of feathers, mare juices and come Twilight Sparkle teleports into the room and shouts
>WHY DO YOU DO THAT TO ME ANON! I WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU ALL ALONG SINCE THE MOMENT YOU STUMBLED INTO MY LIBRARY, BRUISED AND MAIMED FROM A MANTICORE!
>I WILL NOW HATE YOU FOREVER
>"What a cunt", you hear a new voice as Twilight teleports away.
>It's Gilda, bringing you both hot coffee in a hot maid outfit.
>The end