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Deadbeat

A Green Lantern in Equestria, Part 2 (Farm Battle)

May 17th, 2012
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  1. >Despite the allure of the prospect, especially given the circumstances, you cannot remain in this hole all day.
  2. >You have your responsibilities, your original mission.
  3. >Never mind the COLOSSAL FUCK-UP that you just engineered.
  4. >If you take off now, all that will happen is that the...equine?...Pony?...Natives of this world will regard their pink fellow as insane.
  5. >You float up out of the hole and take to the skies.
  6. >You rise up, past the clouds, the continent below you ever shrinking.
  7. >Higher, into the endless blue.
  8. >Higher, the blue becomes black.
  9. >Higher, to the stars and the void of spaOHMYGODTHISISWORSTPAINTHATIEVERFELTINMYENTIRELIFEITFEELSLIKEBEINGPROCESSEDINTONOODLESOHGOD!!
  10. >You are Anon Ymous, Green Lantern of Space Sector 2828.
  11. >And for the second time today, you are a streaking green meteor.
  12.  
  13. ...
  14.  
  15. >You are not Anon Ymous of Rann.
  16. >You are, in fact, Applejack of Equestria.
  17. >You are a pony.
  18. >You are also an Apple farmer.
  19. >And so is your older brother, Big Macintosh.
  20. >And so were your parents, and your grandmother, and your entire family going back a number of generations.
  21. >Apples and apple trees are your livelihood, your driving force, your reason to be.
  22. >So it's perfectly understandable that you'd be a bit miffed when a fast moving object of emerald hue came out of the sky and reduced a quarter of your crop into a smouldering crater.
  23. >And by "a bit miffed" you of course mean FATHOMING RAGE.
  24. >It was probably nothing intentional, heck it was probably nothing sentient.
  25. >It was probably one of those "shooting stars" your friend Twilight goes on about now and again.
  26. >Didn't mean you weren't going to beat the living hell out of it with your shovel...
  27.  
  28. ...
  29.  
  30. Anon's Perspective
  31.  
  32. >You come too.
  33. >Oh, hello crater, fancy meeting you here.
  34. >Once again, it seems you owe a lift debt to your ring.
  35. >As you once more collect yourself, you wonder what the hell you hit when you entered the upper atmosphere.
  36. >It felt almost like a gravametic barrier...but not even your accelerated Rannian education can provide you with an answer without further information.
  37. >As you promise yourself that you'll approach the atmosphere with more care next time and scan the distortion in the hopes of finding a solution, you fail to notice the incoming shovel.
  38. >Luckily, it misses your already abused head and hits your square in the back.
  39. >The pain makes you yelp, jump, and turn around come face to face with another pony creature...this one orange.
  40. >It holds the shovel in it's mouth as it gives you a death glare that could send the Children of the White Lobe to bed without supper.
  41. >You also notice that it's wearing a hat.
  42. >An oddly familiar hat.
  43. >You'd ponder this fact more if it didn't just STRIKE YOU WITH A FUCKING SHOVEL!
  44. >You send power to your ring as you wonder how many atoms you're going to scatter this thing int-[WAIT!]
  45. >Huh?! What is it Consince, I'm kinda busy here.
  46. >[You cannot do that! The Guardians forbid it!]
  47. >True...but this thing just hit me with a FUCKING SHOVEL!
  48. >[You are a Green Lantern! A law enforcement officer charged with bringing order and peace to the Universe! You do not do that by vaporizing random pony-creatures! Even ones that just hit you with spades!]
  49. >...I hate you...
  50. >[Go cry me a river dipshit. Now resolve this peacefully or I will guilt trip you to Kingdom Come.]
  51. >You curse your Consince as you stand down and attempt to resolve your dispute with the orange pony diplomatically.
  52. Listen...calm down. I don't know what I did to upset you, but I can assure you that I didn't mean too do it. Today has been very confusing for me and-
  53. >The Pony interrupts your diplomacy with another shovel swing.
  54. >On reflex, you trow up a shield construct to take the impact.
  55. >The sight of the construct does shock the orange pony, but not enough for her to falter.
  56. That's it, I tried talking, no more mister nice lantern!
  57. >You make a claw construct and grab the shovel, wrenching it away, with considerable effort, from the pony-creature, it barely mouths a "what the-?" before you set your next construct upon it.
  58. >A rope lasso.
  59. >You saw Guy Gardner do this with a wild Merna beast.
  60. >It should be effective against a small, orange hat-wearing pony.
  61. >It contemplates the lasso around it's neck for a moment before looking straight at you.
  62. >"So this is the game you wanna play?", she speaks (that voice, definitely female...odd accent though).
  63. >A devious smile comes over her face, "Fine by me!"
  64.  
  65. ...
  66.  
  67. >You are Anon Ymous of Rann, Green Lantern of Sector 2828.
  68. >And you are airborne without the aid of your power ring.
  69. >Not that it would do you much good anyway, what with the recent trauma your head has endure.
  70. >Aside from the two high altitude impacts you endured earlier, you've spent the past 15 minutes being slammed into trees by a small orange pony whose form conceals considerable strength.
  71. >It only occurred to you to break your rope construct when she brought you overhead with the intent of slamming into the ground.
  72. >Luck being the evil bitch that she it, you ended up doing this right at the apex of her swing, launching you at a considerable distance.
  73. >As you come into the view of a nearby farmhouse, and two more (very confused) ponies, a large red one and a smaller yellow one, you impact the ground quite hard.
  74. >Your ring probably decided it had enough of your stupid shit and didn't save you this time.
  75. >You see stars as the orange pony trots up to you.
  76. >"Welp! That settles that! You go ahead n' take a little nap now, I reckon you could use one. We'll deal with tha' nuts n' bolts when you wake up."
  77. Yes...ma'am...
  78. >The blissful black takes you into wonderful unconsciousness....
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