Dear Aleks. 8/31/15

Dear Aleks,
	Sorry about your scrolly. I find leaving letters for you on pastebin is a bit easier than trying to catch you online. I don't really get online anymore.. School just started and I've been a bit depressed lately so I've been sleeping or talking on the phone with Jon. Getting on the computer has been seeming a bit pointless to me lately, no offense. I get online to see if you're on every night but you usually aren't when I get on there. I still need the password if you still want to give it to me that is. Hopefully you remember my email, I check it every day.
	School started last Monday, it was really scary. I don't remember my anxiety ever being this bad, I got so nervous that I actually started puking Thursday. My mom misses me talking about you by the way, she says hi. I'm not in the same lunch or any classes with Jessica, I am with Danielle though. The worst part is that Danielle is really rude to me, I feel like switching my schedule around a bit which shouldn't be hard for me considering the counselor from last year is now the 10th grade counselor. Danielle only talks to me when she feels like she looks like a loser or a loner. At lunch on Thursday I was sitting at the lunch table with her and I was listening to Arctic Monkeys, she grabbed my earbuds and listened to the song for about 15 seconds before declaring my music to be utter shit. She also used this as a strategy to flirt with this supposedly hot guy named Buddy and I guess it worked considering they have been texting more often than usual. I didn't realize being a bitch was so attractive.
	Psychology is cool I suppose, it's honestly the only class I like at all. It's my first period class and whenever I get in there I never want to leave. My anxiety skyrockets when I leave that classroom. I have art in 3rd with Danielle which also sucks, she acts like she is in a pissy mood in art. She has such a terrible attitude towards everything, literally everything. No one can joke around her either, even if it's not about her, even if it has nothing to do with her. No one can have fun around her is what I'm getting at or else she'll say how they're ugly or retarded. "This is why most people don't like freshman." I don't even want to be around her half the time, it really sucks. Our art teacher loves her though, he shows a lot of favoritism, too. He's also pretty biased, he doesn't like realistic looking art at all so he takes off points when you draw realistic stuff, I don't think that's fair but what do I know? I'm only a beginner.
	Do you remember the 8.5 program? You might not so I suppose I'll explain. Last year I was in the 8.5 program, I was in high school but still considered an 8th grader because I was missing some middle school credits. You are considered a middle schooler but you go to high school and make up your missing credits while taking 9th grade classes. The deadline is always October 1st-5th. Last year there was only about 4 or 5 of us, this year there is about 15-20 students in the 8.5 program. Since I went to the behavioral school because I didn't finish the recovery I had to make a speech in front of 15-20 of the students that are in the 8.5 program this year. I didn't "have" to but I chose to do it, at first I wasn't going to but once I was standing in front of them I decided to do it. I think I did pretty well, it was actually kind of fun which is strange for me because I'm super shy and hate speaking in front of people. When I started speaking I didn't even realize it until like half way in, my face was so red and I got so nervous, of course I had to keep going but everyone was staring at me. I'm pretty sure the teachers were shocked when I began talking but it was actually pretty fun.
	I miss you. When I walked into psychology on the first day I looked for the poster that had the turtle that always reminded me of you but she had all of her posters switched. Mrs. Lockhart actually switched rooms, she's in Russo's room now. Russo left the school and went to virtual schooling so my dream of him becoming my world history teacher has kind of been crushed, I have Mr. Diehl instead. Mr. Diehl is actually the football coach too, he's kind of nice but not really, he tells funny stories but as a teacher he kind of gets on my nerves. He's already given us about 12 pages of homework which is probably nothing compared to your college work but still, it's the first week of school and I'm already having a hard enough time trying to get my anxiety under control. I missed school Friday and today, Friday I had the scariest nightmare... There was a point where the entire dream went completely black and my entire body tingled, it was just my thoughts and static that I could hear, I saw nothing but black. I thought that maybe I was dying.. and I was okay with it.. So Friday morning I talked my dad into letting me stay home, today I didn't go because my brother and I missed the bus.
	I hope you know I miss and love you, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss my best friend. I hope you email me soon.
								~Love, Rinosaurus Rex.