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[Lich] A man in the Undead Kingdom

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Apr 12th, 2015
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  1. >a zombie stares far into the distance, as she does every day
  2. >she doesn't have much to do, the strange, bizarre architecture of her master's tower doing most of the hard work to keep adventurers away
  3. >the skeleton next to her is equally useless, her higher mental faculties allowing her to feel the terrible boredom of her undead life
  4. >suddenly a burst of dust showers her, briefly blinding both undead
  5. >a man clad in strange, well fitting clothes stands in the distance
  6. >he turns in place, seemingly evaluating the different structures that litter the barren wastelands of the undead kingdom
  7. >when he looks at the tower, his face lights up
  8. >he starts running
  9. >not surprising, the skeleton thinks, I tried to run too when I came to-
  10. >running thowards them
  11. >too stunned to speak, she only watches as the madman makes haste for the tower
  12. >there was something she was supposed to say in this case
  13. >"foolish mortal!"? "begone, breather!"? what was it?
  14. >it doesn't matter, as he just pushes them out of the way
  15. >the door of 1000 cursed laments screams as he barges into the lowest floor
  16. >a stunned ghoul is sweeping the floor, half clad in armor
  17. >he pays no mind to her warning cries, leaping to the stairs and climbing two steps at a time
  18. >he only reaches the third floor before he is stopped by a horde of undead guards, some still half-dressed, or half-soaped in the case of a very upset wight
  19. >he seems completely unfazed by them, and starts yelling to the skies
  20. >"I KNOW YOU ARE HERE! SHOW YOURSELF"
  21. >the undead leave him some room, waiting respectfully for the bizarre adventurer to make his challenge
  22. >it'd be in poor taste after all, interrupting his boast
  23. >this however doesn't stop the unmarried ones from fighting for the foremost place in the mob, grunting as their elbows clash in the fight for a husband
  24. >the undead incubi start the preparations for the "contragts on your death!" party, traditonal in the undead rites
  25. >from the topmost floors a slender, beautiful form comes forth, wearing a robe that does nothing to conceal her supple breasts and generous, healthy hips
  26. >she speaks without moving her lips
  27. >"what drives you, foolish mo-"
  28. >"OH GOD, MY DICK"
  29. >it's hard sometimes to understand what the big boss is thinking
  30. >but now her face shows almost the hint of a puzzled look
  31. >"b-beg your pardon?"
  32. >"THE PICTURES DON'T DO YOU JUSTICE! YOU ARE INCREDIBLE! STUNNING"
  33. >the air is completely still
  34. >nobody breathes here so, could be that
  35. >but it is a figure of speech as everyone looks stunned at the man, not knowing what to make of his words
  36. >he takes a small piece of black glass out of his pocket, and holds it high over his head
  37. >a strange, alien music blasts through the tower as the stranger starts making his way thowards the lich
  38. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCwtHgF7OEM
  39. >the crowd parts and lets him climb the rest of the steps
  40. >he kneels before her and looks adoringly into her eyes
  41. >"Would you give me the honor of being your husband and complete vagslut for the rest of eternity?"
  42. >the lich barely moves, bringing her smooth lips close to the man
  43. >"you know I will subject you to pleasure so maddening and shameful" she whispers, "eros herself would not understand"
  44. >her lithe fingers trace the beard on the man's jaw as she continues
  45. >"that we will explore together a sexuality so base-"
  46. >the man takes a small piece of metal in his pants and pushes it down, letting his manhood drop free
  47. >the husbands look approvingly at such a convinient feature as he rises, standing fully erect in every sense as his dick twitches in front of the liches face
  48. >"my body is ready"
  49. >the lich brings her face foward and barely caresses the tip of his member with her lips, before it twiches and releases a torrent of cum on her
  50. >the lich is completely still for a moment, before muttering arcane and terrible words
  51. >the floor barely withstands the impact of the bed that suddenly materializes in front of them
  52. >she pushes him with unnatural strength onto it, discarding her robe and disintegrating his clothing, depriving the husbands of priceless insights into this stranger's culture enlightened clothing techniques
  53. >"THANK YOU KC! THANK YOU!" he screams, as they begin their ravenous, savage sex
  54. >"do not thank your pitiful gods mortal" the lich says with a faint grin "you have a new one to worship"
  55. >"OH JESUS, IT'S EVEN BETTER THAN THE ENCYCLOPEDIA SAID"
  56. >the mob leaves, awkwardly making their way to the bottom, leaving only a weeping man looking at the ahses of the revolutionary easy-access clothing
  57. >the newlyweds need some privacy after all
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