A Nor/mlp/erson in Equestria - Part 1

>The day is the 1st of July 2014
>You are... Well, your name isn't important
>You're an average guy
>You have an average build
>Average height
>Average weight
>You live in an average house
>With your average parents and siblings
>If the personification of every average factor of the human race existed, it would be you right now
>God, you're so boring
>There's maybe only one thing that's different about you, your taste
>You're a fan of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
>Yeah okay, it's 2014. It's grown on a lot of the general public and all of your friends couldn't give a fuck what cartoon shows you watch in your spare time
>And quite frankly, neither could you
>It's late in the evening, and you're doing what you normally do on a Tuesday night
>Well, almost every night since you're "looking" for work at the moment
>Sit around with your dick in your hand, browsing the internet, you know how it goes pretty unusual stuff
>Then again, you are average as fuck so that's to be expected
>You decide, unusually, to go to bed earlier than usual tonight
>You haven't felt this tired in years, and quite frankly you could do with a good nights sleep after all that busy fuck-all you were doing during the day
>So you shut off your PC for the night and head off to bed
>A boring, very routine procedure... Going to bed
>The usual. Change out of your clothes. Put on some pyjamas. Whatever suits this kind of weather
>What's unusual though is falling
>As you lay in your bed and close your eyes, you begin to feel as though you're falling
>This wasn't normal, nor was it average, it was very unusual and not to your taste
>What also wasn't to your taste was being drenched head to toe in ice cold water
>What the fuck? Water? Ice cold? It's the middle of summer!
>But, as clear as day, you were at the bottom of a lake with the sun shining down through the surface of the water above you
>As an average human being, you need one thing in particular. Air. Without it, you would soon be dead
>You breach the surface of the lake with all your remaining strength, gasping for air
>As you swim to the lake side and make your way out the water, you notice something particular
>Obviously, you're not the only one here
>All around you, soaking wet clothes
>Mostly pyjamas, some dressing gowns but luckily none of them were pants
>Good to know that no one was walking around with their dicks out
>Of the ones you look at in detail, they all seemed larger than anything you (an average sized human) would wear
>The odd flash of colour also caught your attention in the corner of your eye
>Red, yellow and orange stood out against a dark blue hooded dressing gown
>Those colours, it reminded you of something
>The head of a particular
>Further down the dressing gown, embroidered into it's dark blue cloth, was the mark of a cloud with a red, yellow and blue lightning bolt striking from it's base
>This was a Rainbow Dash dressing gown
>Great, a "brony" was here, one that would own such an item
>Of all the obnoxious groups of people you had to endure the wrath of the fedora tipping, neck bearded, lesser spotted (but also very spotty) brony
>See, unlike most fans of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, you couldn't care less about "bronies"
>Those whose lives revolved around a group of cartoon horses
>Who devoted their lives to this show that you just enjoyed
>The clothes seemed to have been dropped in a trail, as if the group were all headed in the same direction
"Well, don't upset the status quo" you decide, as you follow the trial of clothes
>Despite the stench that some of these clothes are giving off, you feel compelled to continue in the direction that they followed
>Following a path forged through nature, presumably by this previous group, you continue in hopes of finding other people where you are
>You continued to walk across the path for 10 minutes
>You noticed that it fanned out, and the footsteps left by those before you faded into the grass and dirt
>Coming up to a slope, you climb it in hopes of getting a better view of where it was you now were
>As you reach the peak, just before an abrupt drop carved in the side of the slope, you look into the distance
>A village of sorts greets your eyes
>The houses appeared to be of wood and straw
>Fields and farms stretched far into the distance, without a single city of piece of modern engineering in sight
>It looked like some medieval town
>Although ridiculous, and completely unprecedented for someone so normal as yourself, you ponder over the idea of time travel
>That is, until a mass of pink jumps in front of you
>"Are you a brony?!" yelled the mass of pink, as it pushed you back onto the grass and stood above you
"Am I... What?" You ask, confused by the sudden appearance of the pink shape in front of you
>It laughed
>That laugh, you recognised it
>Your vision began to focus on the pink thing, and you realised
>It was Pinkie Pie
>It could have been worse, you thought to yourself
>Her laugh slowly died down, as she looked at you with genuine concern
>"You okay? Did you hit your head on the ground?" She asked with a playful tone
"A little, but I'm fine. I was just... What were you asking me?"
>"I said: are you a brony?" She repeated, this time very slowly
"Well, I suppose you could call me that. Not that I'd call myself that but I don't mind, I suppose."
>Smooth. Maybe you really did bang your head harder than you thought. Maybe you were hallucinating and this was all a dream.
>Of course this had to be a dream, you pondered
>Things like this don't just happen, especially to such average people
>Pinkie Pie had reached into a bag that she was wearing around her back
>Using her mouth, she pulled out a piece of paper and pushed it into your hand
>Grabbing the paper, and wiping off some saliva onto your pyjama's, you unfolded the sheet and read what was written on it
>At least, you would have if you could read what was written on it
>You think you could make out some of the words
>'Party' and 'Sugar' stood out, no surprise there
>It didn't take much to put 2 and 2 together and work out that it was an invitation
>An invitation, signed with three balloons at the bottom of the page
>That's handy
>"Everybrony else is already at Sugar Cube Corner! But the party doesn't start until 3pm, so I can give you a tour around town if you want!"
>The prospect of Pinkie Pie walking you around town was daunting, to say the least
>You wanted to see people, and as soon as possible
"Thanks, but I think I'll just go and head off to Sugar Cube Corner now"
>"Okie-dokie! I'll be waiting around here for any new arrivals if you need me!"
>You make your way down the other side of the slope, the almost dead drop, and on the way to the village, presumably Ponyville, ahead of you
>As you continued along a dirt path, you suddenly realised something important
>Something that you'd missed
>Turning your head, and cupping your hands, you yell towards Pinkie Pie
"Actually, how do I get to Sugar Cube Corner?"
>"Silly! The directions are on the invitation!"
>They are? Well, I guess you had to find you own way around.
>Ponyville was different than you had expected
>Of course, you hadn't ever seen any detailed layout of the location in the show so why would you ever have an idea what it would be like to walk the streets?
>Needless to say, you were just stalling for an excuse in your thoughts when you simply had to face facts
>You were lost
>You hadn't the faintest idea where you were going, though you took note of your surroundings in as much detail as possible to learn from this experience
>The time was around 12:30. It had probably been around half an hour since you arrived, so you guessed that you found yourself in the lake at midday, which would explain why the sun was shining so high in the sky
>It was freezing. Not cold enough for snow, by the looks of things, but even the sunlight above you couldn't warm the ground on your bare feet or the frosted windows of the various houses you walked by
>Every other house you walked by had decorations outside, as if everyone was celebrating
>They were awfully a lot like Christmas decorations, but if your memory served you correctly they celebrated "Hearths Warming Eve" and not "Christmas"
>You'd stalled for long enough, it was about time you asked someone for directions. Anyone who would be willing to talk to you
"Excuse me" you yelled to a passing pony "Which way is Sugar Cube Corner?"
>She gave you a confused glance and pointed a forehoof down the next left turn
"Thank you!" you yelled back to them, running in the direction they had pointed
>Hopefully, Sugar Cube Corner would be nice and toasty warm
>You just wanted to get yourself inside as quickly as possible
>There it was, the building unlike any other in the general area decorated on the outside to look like various baked goods
>Perfect, it'd be nice and warm and you could relax and work things out for now
>Opening the door to at the front of the bakery, you were greeted by a cheer from those inside
>There was no way this could be real
>It was like you'd walked into a brony meet as group of large, unshaven men sat around various tables in the front of the bakery
>"Another one!" said a distinct, excited voice from the crowd of people
>Twilight Sparkle walked out into the open from behind one of the larger groups
>"Welcome. Please, take a seat. Anywhere you like for now." She spoke, gesturing a hoof around at the room
"What's going on here?" You asked, looking around at everyone else in the room
>"Pinkie Pie's idea. The bakery was already decorated after yesterdays New Years Eve party, so she decided to throw a little 'welcome to Ponyville' party for everyone."
"Sounds like her" You say under your breath
>"Excuse me?"
"Nothing, it doesn't matter. I'll just hang around and talk to everyone."
>"Okay, make yourself at home!"
>That could have gone worse, admittedly it could have gone better but that didn't matter now - you could deal with the ponies later
>Right now, you had bronies to tackle
>Not literally, of course. Though part of you hoped it would end that way.
>Tentatively, you walked over to one of the tables where a man, a few inches taller than you and a few pounds heavier too, stood up and stopped you in your path
>If it weren't for what he said next, you might have been a bit worried
>"Best pony?"
>Well, that's one way to greet someone. Whatever happened to "hello"? Or a handshake?
"Uhh, I don't really know. I kind of like-"
>"Is it Pinkie Pie? This is the Pinkie Pie table! Come over here!"
>"You guys are blind, he's a Rainbow Dash man. You can smell them from a mile off!"
>He's not lying, though you wouldn't think it was something he'd be proud of
"I'm just gonna go and sit-"
>"Rarity is obviously the best pony! Who else can carry themselves with style, grace and class whilst being all around cute at the same time!"
>Fuck it, there was no way you were going to talk to them now they'd been set off
>You find one of the empty tables in the room and make yourself comfortable, watching intensely as the spectacle before you unfolds in all it's spaghetti filled glory
>This was going to go well