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- <!ducktype crispy>
- <html lang="quackers">
- <head>
- <meta charset="utf-8">
- <title>DUCKS QUACK ME UP</title>
- <link rel="shortcut icon" href="duckling.png">
- <!-- Pretties -->
- <!-- Something that fucking ugly duckling didn't have. -->
- <style>*{cursor:none}body,html{height:100%}body{overflow:hidden;-webkit-transition:background .25s}iframe,audio{position:absolute;left:-999em;top:-999em}img{display:none;position:absolute;pointer-events:none}.sharing.is.caring{position:fixed;z-index:9999999;left:50px;bottom:50px;width:400px;cursor:default}.sharing.is.caring iframe,.sharing.is.caring div{position:static;float:left}</style>
- </head>
- <body>
- <!-- Meet Bill. He is not the HTML duck, but he is a duck. -->
- <img src="duck.png" class="bill">
- <!--
- Hello, I am the HTML duck. I like writing code and eating bread.
- .....
- ;"' "";""'"';'
- ; ". ;'',;":":
- :' '"" ;"':"':"'
- ," ';""""
- ; ,:
- : ;'"
- : '":
- '; :
- ': ;
- : ':
- ,;"'"'"....' :
- ,."' '" :
- ,;" :
- ,"" .;"''' :
- ;;. ,.;"" ;' :
- ':"""""""""' ,;" '. ;
- '; ,.;""" : ;'
- :'' ;'" :: ;"'
- '. '"""' ;" ,;"'
- : ';. ,;' ,.'"
- ; '"""":.. ,.;." ,''
- '; """"""' ;'
- ';. ;'
- ';. . ;;'
- ,:";. '':':';;'
- ,',; """""'";;:'
- : : ';;. ,..
- ':'"""""";. : """':.
- ;. ;"'' ': .;:
- ''"..;'
- -->
- <!-- ERMERGARD SOCIAL MEDIA AND STUFF -->
- <div class="sharing is caring">
- <!-- DUCKS GO TWEET RIGHT!?!?! -->
- <a href="https://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button" data-via="idiot" data-related="idiot">Tweet</a>
- <script>!function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs");</script>
- <!-- I don't fucking know, I hate facebook. all full of bitchy people and shit -->
- <div id="fb-root"></div>
- <script>(function(d, s, id) {
- var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];
- if (d.getElementById(id)) return;
- js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id;
- js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_GB/all.js#xfbml=1&appId=161025507313912";
- fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);
- }(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));</script>
- <div class="fb-like" data-href="http://ducksarethebest.com" data-send="false" data-layout="button_count" data-width="450" data-show-faces="false"></div>
- </div>
- <!-- jQuery? more like crayQuery -->
- <script src="//code.jquery.com/jquery-latest.min.js"></script>
- <script>
- // this code is all boring and compressed
- // but hey, it calls our variables like the word quack
- // yay
- var q,u,a,c,k;
- // boring shit goes here
- function x(){return Math.floor(Math.random()*255)}q=$(".bill");u=['<audio autoplay loop="loop" autobuffer preload="auto"><source src="//freraud.pagesperso-orange.fr/funk/radio/chic.wav"></audio>',/*'<audio autoplay loop="loop" autobuffer preload="auto"><source src="//wavlist.com/soundfx/011/duck-quack1.wav"></audio>'fuck you wavlist*/,'<iframe src="//youtube.com/embed/frGLMtGsotc?rel=0&autoplay=1"></iframe>','<iframe src="//youtube.com/embed/xJVwvq5z3MI?rel=0&autoplay=1"></iframe>','<iframe src="//youtube.com/embed/CWgbmgIzoT8?rel=0&autoplay=1"></iframe>'];a="aaayyy";c=$("body");k=["ducks quack me up","what do you call a theiving duck? a robber duck","duck jokes are fowl","they should have ducktors instead of vets"];c.append(u[Math.floor(Math.random()*u.length)]);document.title=k[Math.floor(Math.random()*k.length)].toUpperCase();$(this).bind("touchstart touchmove mousemove",function(e){e.preventDefault();if(e.originalEvent.touches){e=e.originalEvent.touches[0]||e.originalEvent.changedTouches[0]}q.show().css({left:e.pageX,top:e.pageY});/*mixpanel.track("moved", {left:e.pageX,top:e.pageY});*/c.append('<img src="duck.png" style="display: block; left: '+(e.pageX+Math.random()*10)+"px; top: "+(e.pageY+Math.random()*10)+'px">')});setInterval(function(){c.css("background","rgb("+x()+","+x()+","+x()+")")},400);var GoSquared={};GoSquared.acct="GSN-947162-E";(function(e){function t(){e._gstc_lt=+(new Date);var t=document,n=t.createElement("script");n.type="text/javascript";n.src="//d1l6p2sc9645hc.cloudfront.net/tracker.js";var r=t.getElementsByTagName("script")[0];r.parentNode.insertBefore(n,r)}e.addEventListener?e.addEventListener("load",t,false):e.attachEvent("onload",t)})(window);
- </script>
- <!-- sorry mixpanel I didn't mean to take your server down
- <script>(function(c,a){window.mixpanel=a;var b,d,h,e;b=c.createElement("script");b.type="text/javascript";b.async=!0;b.src=("https:"===c.location.protocol?"https:":"http:")+'//cdn.mxpnl.com/libs/mixpanel-2.1.min.js';d=c.getElementsByTagName("script")[0];d.parentNode.insertBefore(b,d);a._i=[];a.init=function(b,c,f){function d(a,b){var c=b.split(".");2==c.length&&(a=a[c[0]],b=c[1]);a[b]=function(){a.push([b].concat(Array.prototype.slice.call(arguments,0)))}}var g=a;"undefined"!==typeof f?
- g=a[f]=[]:f="mixpanel";g.people=g.people||[];h="disable track track_pageview track_links track_forms register register_once unregister identify name_tag set_config people.identify people.set people.increment".split(" ");for(e=0;e<h.length;e++)d(g,h[e]);a._i.push([b,c,f])};a.__SV=1.1})(document,window.mixpanel||[]);
- mixpanel.init("b30559a0f1fa459fc42cf20500b05aff");mixpanel.people.identify(Math.round(Math.random() * 1000));</script> end Mixpanel -->
- </body>
- </html>
- <!-- IT'S ALL ABOUT THE FUCKING DUCKS ON THIS PAGE -->
- <!-- http://autonopedia.org/garden_and_farm/Livestock/Raising_Ducks_files/F39P48.GIF -->
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