Request: I Don't Even...

A request from Anonbraham Lincoln and Clever Dick
Let this be a warning: Never combine two requests

>Day Oy Vay in Equestria
>You are Anon
>Historian
>Sort of
>When you got to Equestria, it had all seemed like some kind of fictional world
>That made the history books a lot more interesting
>Like a fantasy novel that was true
>You had gone to town in Twilight’s library, and were now Celestia’s chief attendant
>With all you knew about the countries mistakes and victories, you were like a buffer to her memories, plus a second perspective
>Over time, you had befriended the chief of the guards, Shining Armor
>You often went drinking with him
>He was a strange drunk; he’d go off on random tangents, and his accent would change randomly
>Last time you went drinking with him you’d been confused the whole night; Scottish accents don’t mix well with booze
>Tonight, you were going out to drink with him again
>Little did you know, tonight would outshine all the others combined

>You meet up with Shining Armor outside his room
>He looks tired, but one look from him stops you from asking
>You walk together in silence until you’ve reached the bar and sat down
So, long day of guarding, or wife troubles?
>You already know what has him down
>Cadence has the man under her heel
>He can’t do anything about it either; she’d destroy him if he ever tried to go against her

1/?

>”I’d rather not talk about it, Anon. You’re smart enough to get the general idea”
>The bartender walks over, and you order yourself a cider
>Shining Armor orders a glass of Dragon’s Breath
>Oh yeah, definitely wife troubles
>That stuff hits hard
Hey man, don’t be so glum. I’m sure everything will work out. You and your sister are loyal servants to Celestia; I doubt she’d let anything bad happen to you
>Your drinks arrive, and Shining Armor shoots his down all at once, coughing and signalling the bartender to bring him another
>”Don’t get me started on Twilight! She never calls anymore, never wants to talk to her big brother! We used to be so close when we were younger.”
>You pat him on the back, settling in for what you expect to be an interesting night

>A couple hours later, and Shining Armor is truly sloshed
>He’s switching between practically yelling to whispering so quiet you have to lean in to hear him
>He’d veered off from his sister after a bit
>He’d called Cadence things that you weren’t entirely sure were even words
>What was most interesting choice of all was his accent for night
>”Oy vay, does she ride me hard! But of course, not in the fun way, oh no, she’s too proper for that shvikt! No, she’s always on my case, but never the sexy times!”
>The craziest part is in all the history books you’ve read, you’ve yet to see a sign that Judaism even exists in Equestria
>How the hell is he doing a stereotype of it?
>You try to think more on it, but your head is starting to get fuzzy
>”And don’t get me started on that Celestia! Oh look at me; I’m empress of the world! PTOEEY! PTOEEY I SAY!”
>Uh oh
>You notice a few ponies look towards you and Shining Armor

2/?

>That's not good
>While you hadn't been here long, you understood that the ponies of Equestria, Canterlot in specific, were fanatically loyal to Celestia
>Anything except praise could lead to a fight
>And everyone in this bar was most likely drunk or on their way to it
>The ponies you see looking over are glaring
>Before Shining Armor gets you killed, you pat him on the back and put some bits on the counter
Let's get you home buddy
>"Oh Twily, why won't you love me?"
>Yup, this is getting awkward
>He leans on your shoulder as you walk out of the bar

>A few minutes later, you and Shining Armor are making your way through the city
>You're exhausted; he wasn't wearing his armor, but you aren't exactly fit either
>Being less than sober doesn't help either
>He stumbles and falls to the ground
>You lean down to pick him up, but he turns to you before you can
>He's smiling widely, with tears in his eyes
>"Twily, oh Twily, you've returned!"
>What
>He jumps up, tackling you
>You land on your back, and he pins your arms
What the hell!?
>"Let's relive us some good times, yes, Twily? It'll be fun!"
>He releases one of your arms, and begins to pull down your pants
>Oh fuck
>He let go of one of your arms though, so you take a swing at him, punching him in the face

3/?

>He doesn’t move an inch
>He grins down at you
>”Oy vay, Twily, you sure have a lot of fight in you!”
>The day you meet a Historian with a good right hook is the day the world implodes
>Shining Armor finishes pulling your pants down, and you feel his warm member poke your ass again
Shining Armor, please, don’t do this! You have to see, it’s me!
>Before you can try to convince him anymore, Shining Armor grunts and begins to push
>Oh god
>You feel your ass begin to stretch as he slowly pushes his way deeper inside of you
>You scream, but he puts a hoof over your mouth
>”Shhh Twily, you don’t want Mother and Father to hear us, do you?”
>Fucking
>He pushes deeper still, your screams cut off by his hoof
>Eventually you feel him hilt
>You’ve never felt so full
>Through the pain though, you’re starting to feel pleasure
>But then he starts thrusting
>Oh god, you don’t even know which one is more powerful, the pain or the pleasure
>You’ve given up all hope of trying to stop this
>It feels as if time has slowed down
>You don’t even know what to think
>You’ve never felt so go-
>”URGH”

4/?

>You feel something liquid pour into you
>A moment later, Shining Armor falls on top of you
>…Really?
>Over already?
>No wonder why Cadence is so angry all the time
>Shining Armor moans a moment later
>”Oy… vay…”
>Before you can really think of how to get out from under the horse currently residing on top of and inside you, you hear a noise
>”There’s the Chutzpah! He even defiled his friend!”
>You crane your head to see 3 large ponies walking over to you
>They’re all sporting very scraggly looking beards and glasses
>They yank Shining Armor off of you
>”So, you like impersonating the Hebrew people and rape, don’t ya?”
>Shining Armor moans, as he starts to gain consciousness
>After a moment he looks at you
>His eyes seem clear now
>He looks confused, but then he looks down and sees his cock, currently shrinking and dripping cum
>Realization hits
>Before he can say anything, he gets smacked in the face by one of the Hebrew Ponies
>”Let’s see how you like it, you little Tahat!”
>You’ve never seen a gang bang before
>Especially not one with all males
>You pull up your pants
>You shake your head, hoping you can get Celestia to wipe this night from your mind
>First, you’ll have to write yourself a note saying to look into Hebrew Ponies
>You hear a moan of pleasure
>You think he’s enjoying the gangbang
>In fact, they’re all enjoying
>Fucking Shining Armor

5/5

End