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- >Wake up to a wonderful sunrise.
- >Shit, Shower, Shave. The usual routine before Fluttershy comes bashing on your door.
- >Familiar knock on front door.
- It begins...
- >what a fucking surprise?
- >Wait, this is a fucking surprise. It's Derpy, the mail-mare.
- >'Hello Anony!'
- >You only allow her to call you that. You like her style.
- Hey Derpy. How's your day been?
- >'Not bad Anony. Here's your mail.'
- >Reaches into bag, passes you a few letters with her wing.
- >'Also, Fluttershy is in your bushes with these big round thingys on her hooves.'
- >Have a peek, see fluttershit dressed as a car.
- Fluttershy, My fetish isn't cars.
- >'Beep Beep?'
- Yes, I'm quite sure of it.
- >'Beep honk....'
- >she slowly walks home, still making engine sounds.
- >'She really tries.'
- Yeah. Wonder what would happen if I moved.
- >'Don't do that. I won't remember where you live.'
- >Derpy gives you a sad look.
- Derpy, I'm not going anywhere. Now, isn't there something missing from my mail?
- >she perks up, starts bouncing up and down.
- >'You remembered it, Anony!!'
- >Pulls out a muffin from the other bag on her back, and puts it in your hands.
- >She always brings you muffins to try, ever since you came to p0nyville.
- >Take a bite.
- Mmm, Apple and cinnamon. You have to show me how you make them so good.
- >'Well how about you come to mine tonight. Dinky will love Anony around.'
- Of course, how about I cook us all dinner? and then you can show me your secret.
- >'Shhh....Its gotta be a secret.'
- >Gives you a wink.
- >Hang out with your Rainbro most of the day.
- >Training for the running of the leaves
- I'm gunna beat you this year Rainbro
- >'Not with that flabby ass of yours'
- We can't have pert flanks like yours RD
- >She tackles you from a cloud above.
- >Start wrestling on the ground.
- >she pins you to the ground, staring into your eyes.
- >Her wings are fully opened.
- Wings won't help you now.
- >throw her off, about to tackle her flank.
- >Notice where the sun is
- CRAP!! Rainbro, I gotta go. I am having dinner with a very special p0ny tonight, and still need to prepare it.
- >Notice her wings deflate.
- >'Oh....Alright Anon. I have to get home too.’
- >she flies off like a Wonderbolt.
- >Such a good bro, worried about my training.
- >Knock on Derpy's door, Big wicker basket in hand
- >Greeted by little Dinky.
- >'ANONY!!!!'
- >Ok maybe 2 p0nies can call me that.
- >Give the little filly a big hug.
- >Derpy walks out of the kitchen, covered in flour.
- >Greet her with a massive hug too.
- Both of you get cleaned up, and dinner Shall be done soon.
- >Warm up a beautiful Vege lasanga, serve with a daffodil greens salad.
- >Set table, serve with apple and raspberry cider, thanks to Berry Punch.
- >enjoy dinner with 2 very good p0ny friends.
- >Derpy puts a movie on for Dinky as I clean up.
- >'Thank you Anony. It's nice to see someone who cares about me.'
- Oh Derpy. Everyp0ny in P0nyville loves you. Without your muffins, or mail delivering skills, we would be done for.
- >Derpy blushes.
- So, you gunna show me how to make your wonderful muffins?
- >Derpy shows you her secret ingredients and method.
- >Freshest produce and mixing things by hand slowly with a whisk to keep in the air.
- >'I wanted to give you this for being such a good friend Anony'
- >She pulls out of a safe hidden under her bench, a golden muffin that matches Derpy's eyes.
- >Eyes start to well up.
- Thank you Derpy. I love it.
- >She motions you to try it.
- >Eat it in a few mouthfuls.
- Oh god, its sooo sweet and buttery aaannn.....
- >Start to feel woozy.
- >don't rememeber even hitting the floor.
- >Wake up in the dark.
- >Try to get up. Can’t move arms or legs.
- HELP!!! IS ANYP0NY THERE!?!?!
- >Door across the room opens. Somep0ny walks it. too dark to see.
- >door shuts and lights come on, blinding you.
- >’Shush. I don’t need you waking Dinky up.’
- >eyes finally adjust, see derpy looming over you.
- Derpy, what the hell is going on?
- >Notice something is different. Her eyes are straightened.
- >’Let me ask you this. Fluttershy always comes to your door everyday. Why is that?’
- She…She wants to find out what my fetish is.
- >Derpy smiled.
- >’Well what a coincidence. This here is MY fetish.’
- Bondage? Rape? Torment?
- >Her face bunched up
- >’How dare you insinuate I would degrade myself by having sex with you. No, I’m more complex.’
- >This wasn’t your Derpy Hooves. This was something bad.
- >She leans in close
- >’ I love depriving people of enjoyment. That’s why I’m going to kill you Anony.’
- >Utter shock rushes over you.
- >Derpy laughs.
- >’Oh that’s a good one. No Anony, I won’t kill you. But as I said, I will be depriving the p0nies of p0nyville of their precious human.’
- What do you plan you do with me?
- >She hovered over you, staring into your eyes.
- >’Well it depends. If you are kind, and be a good human, I shall slowly give you freedoms. But if you decide I give to much…’
- >She drops onto your chest, knocking the wind out.
- >’…I shall revoke your rights.’
- And what does Dinky think of this?
- >’ I told her we are having a sleepover. That you needed a vacation from all the p0nies.’
- >She climbs off you, and walks towards the door.
- Wait, just one last thing?
- >Her ears perk up.
- Why now? Why do you give into your fetish now?
- >Derpy spun on her hooves, turning around faster than ever.
- >’ EVERYDAY I GET LAUGHED AT FOR WHO I WAS!!’
- >Tears stream from her eyes.
- >’I WAS LAUGHED AT AS A FILLY FOR BEING RETARDED!! I trained myself everyday to speak properly, to keep my eyes in check. But the ridicule still hounds me.’
- >She gallops to the bedside
- >’ They make fun of Dinky! Say that she is going to be slow like her mother!’
- Derpy. I need you to undo my hands. Or even just one hand.
- >She sniffles back some tears
- >’Why, so you can get away too?’
- Derpy, you are the closest thing to family I have here. Rainbow is my Bro, but you treat me like I’m family. You need a hug.
- >She looks at you, her eyes finally going back to normal. She opens the leather straps on your wrists.
- >True to your word, you give Derpy a hug. She cries into your shoulder until there are no tears left inside her head.
- >You wake the next morning to sunlight in your eyes
- >FUCK YOU TROLLESTIA!
- >Realise you’re not in your own bed, and there is somep0ny on you.
- >Look down to see Derpy, and everything flashes back to your mind.
- >Slowly slip out from under her, undo the straps on your feet.
- >You slink out of the bedroom, trying not to wake up Derpy as you do.
- >Head downstairs to the kitchen to find Dinky eating some Frosted Hay.
- >’Wheres mommy Anony?’
- She’s really tired. Last night we spoke about her childhood, and she fell asleep.
- >’Oh…okay.’
- >She looks saddened.
- What’s a matter Dinky?
- >I have to go to school today, and Mommy usually walks me.
- Come on. I’ll walk you to school. I want to find out who is calling you mean names anyway. We just need to make a stop on the way.
- >Her expression brightens as she bounds off to grab her bag.
- >Walk Dinky into schoolyard, her face still smiling.
- >You watch as Dinky is stopped by a Pink filly with a purple mane with a white stripe.
- >’Well if it isn’t the little blankflank with a blank brain?’
- >’ Leave me alone Diamond Tiara.’
- >’ Oh, what was that Blanky. You want to speak up.’
- >You walk up to Dinky, and crouch down.
- Excuse me, Diamond Tiara is it? I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t pick on Dinky.
- >Diamind Tiara starts to laugh.
- >’You paid a mutant monkey to come save you.’
- >You clap your hands above your head, and your eyes start to slowly white.
- YOU HAVE ANGERED THE GREAT DEMON ANONYMOUS!! YOU SHALL BE DEALT WITH ACCODINGLY!
- >Horns grow from your head, and your skin turns to scales.
- CELESTIA HERSELF COULD NOT SAVE YOU FROM MY POWER!!
- >Diamond Tiara faints infront of you.
- >Your form goes back to normal, and you crouch down for Dinky.
- Now go enjoy your day Dinky.
- >Dinky gives you a kiss on the cheek, and a hug.
- >’Thanks Anony.’
- >She bounces inside.
- >As you walk away from the school, Twilight jumps out of the bushes.
- >’That was a good thing you did Anon.’
- Ah, it was all your magic. I just hate seeing kids getting bullied by the rich.
- >’Now, about your payment…’
- >She gives you an evil grin.
- Yes, I will babysit Spike for the weekend so you can you to Canterlot.
- >You make your way home, to find your door has been busted in.
- >You peek inside to see an angry Fluttershy.
- >’WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?!?!’
- >You back away silently.
- >Damn, the bitch is crazy.
- >Crash at Derpy’s house for the next week.
- >Derpy is back to her normal self. Called in sick for the day.
- >She apologises if she scared you.
- > ‘I just wanted someone to treat me with respect like you do.’
- >You chuckle at the comment, derpy gives you a confused look.
- You sound like an evil genius talking like that.
- >’Is that a good thing?’
- Oh of course. It makes you 200% cooler. Dr. Derpy, DUN duuun.
- >Derpy finally laughs.
- >’Thanks Anon.’
- HEY! That’s Anony to you Dr Derpy.
- >Spend the next week lolling it up with Derpy and Dinky, hearing stories of Diamond Tiara too afraid to talk to Dinky.
- >Come back home after a week
- >Everything in the house is covered is a weird slime
- Oh god….
- >Consider burning down the house
- >Decide to carefully wash everything no less than 4 times.
- Fucking Flutterhump.
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