The Narrator Meets Wuten

"Anonymous wakes up this morning, giving me a glare of anger as he starts to do his usual morning routine. Looks like he's gonna be oot and aboot today eh?"
>You are The Narrator, a pegasus from Caneighda.
>Your nickname comes from your tendency to latch on to other p0nies and narrate thier lives for a while.
>Most don't mind you, your amusing northern accent providing enjoyment in what would be an annoyance.
>But while visiting a friend in P0nyville, you ran into Anon.
>Since he is the only human in Equestria, you just HAD to follow him eh?
"Anonymous' face contorts with effort, and he's desperately trying to ignore me as he tries to take a massive dump."
>Anon looks like he wants to murder you, but you're too fast for him to catch.
"Guess you should eat less fibre from now on eh?"
>"One day, you're going to slip up, and I'm gonna kill you you little shit."
>You laugh at him and flap your wings, making sure to stay out of arms reach.
"Anon tries to threaten me, but I'm pretty sure a hoser like him couldn't ever catch me eh?"
>"What did I do to deserve you? What god did I piss of so bad that you were inflicted upon me like a plague?"
"Anonymous finishes his dump and gets in a shower, pondering aloud the cosmic mysteries of life.
Better hurry up in the shower there eh buddy? You wouldn't want to miss your daily date with Fluttershy?"
>A bar of soap comes flying at you from the shower, and you duck to avoid it.
>"FUCK! AT LEAST LET ME SHOWER IN PEACE YOU DEMON!"
"Anonymous slips and falls in the shower as I quickly make my escape to avoid being assaulted by various hygienic products."
>You head downstairs and make yourself a nice breakfast of maple flavoured oatmeal.
"Oh yeah that hit the spot right there. I mean, that almost felt as good as watching Sidney Trotsby score the game winning goal in the final game of the playoffs."
>You chuckle at your metaphor, and a knock comes at the door.
>You trot over to answer
It and find the timid yellow pegasus you haven't seen in years.
"Well hey there Fluttershy! I haven't seen you in almost as many years as the last time the Leafs won the cup!"
>Fluttershy giggles at your voice.
>"H-hello Alex, it really has been a long time hasn't it?"
>When you found out that your old friend was in love with the object of your Narration, you decided to make a point of helping her out
"Well, I don't have much time to catch up right now eh? But I'm gonna try and help you convince Anon that you love him."
>She squees with joy and hugs you.
>"Oh thank you so much! You Caneighdians are always so nice."
"Well we have to be eh? We share our country with moose and polar bears, and live in igloos."
>Fluttershy giggles again.
>A voice calls out from inside the house.
>"You're talking to Flutternutter aren't you? Fuck! That's all I need, TWO freaks following me around... *sigh* might as well get it over with."
>Anon stomps angrily to the door and glares at Fluttershy, while you wink at her.
>A:"What is it today Flutters? Pegging? Futa? GAK?"
"Anon angrily asks Fluttershy which fetish she is going to try today, glaring at me before turning his gaze full of loathing back upon her."
>FS:"Oh!... U-ummm, I wasn't going to guess your fetish today, I was hoping you'd come out to dinner tonight?"
"Fluttershy smiles sweetly at Anon, and he looks thoughtful as he considers accepting the invitation."
>A:"I'm not considering it."
"The thoughtful silence stretches on for several moments as Anon weighs the pros and cons."
>A:"I see what you're trying to do, and it's not gonna work."
"As the silence goes on for more than a minute, it makes you start to wonder whether Anon is all there eh?"
>A:"Fuck you, you insipid little shit!"
"Right back at ya, hoser."
>Anon is fuming, and you can almost see steam coming out of his ears.
"Anon almost looks like a tomato as he tries to make his tiny brain function enough to accept the invitation. Poor guy looks aboot ready to keel over eh?"
>A"I'm not going out with this she devil rapist."
"Yes you are"
>"No I'm not."
"Yes you are!"
>"No I'm not!"
>No you're not!"
>"YES I AM AND THAT'S THAT!"
>You grin smugly at Anon.
>Fluttershy squees and hugs Anon's waist, nuzzling his crotch.
>You lock eyes with the human, and he mouths "I'm going to skin you alive."
>You grin again.
>FS:"Oh yay, we're gonna have such a good night mister! I'll pick you up around six.. Um... If that's okay with you..."
"Anonymous graciously accepts Fluttershy's proposal, and will await her arrival this evening."
>Fluttershy giggles as you wink at her again, and you hop on your cloud, floating up before the human can grab you.
>This proves to be a mistake, as your cloud is placed directly into the path of a rainbow streak.
>As your faithful transportation is destroyed, you open your wings and grab the prismatic mare's tail.
"Woah there slow down little missy, wouldn't want you to hurt yourself eh?"
>Rainbow turns around at the sound of your voice, and her eyes widen in recognition.
>"Dude! It's been like... Forever!"
"I know eh? That's what happens when the flight school exchange programs only last a year."
>"You still doing that narrating thing?"
"Yup, right now I'm following around the weird looking monkey who's trying to throw knives up at me."
>"Anon? Yeah, he doesn't like to be bothered. Never seen him so mad though..."
"I just made him accept a date with Fluttershy"
>"HA! Good one, anyway, catch up with you later bro, I have clouds to clear."
"Later Dash, stay safe eh?"
>You fly back down near Anon, but not so near that you won't be able to get away.
"Anonymous looks at me with hatred in his eyes, probably thinking about how much he'd like to throttle me. Sadly for him, p0nies are faster than monkeys eh?"
>Anon growls angrily and storms back in the house.
>You figure you'll give him some time to calm down, and set out to find some place to eat.

>You coma back to Anon's house at around 5:30, finding him shaving in the bathroom.
>It seems he's actually going to go through with the date.
"Anon slowly drags the razor across his face, hoping against hope that he won't cut himself, the crowd tenses in anticipation to see what will happen..."
>"What crowd? There's only you, freak."
"That crowd right there, hoser."
>You point to the multitude of p0nies in Anon's shower watching him shave.
>Anon screams like a girl, accidentally slicing his cheek with his razor.
"Ohh, so close eh? But it looks like Anon is gonna be going on his date with an ugly mug."
>You duck as the razor is flung a you.
>Anon shoves all the p0nies out the window, but Colgate stays in the bathroom, holding up his toothbrush.
>C:"Brushie brushie... Or else.
>The look she gives Anon scares you so much that you grab the toothbrush and brush his teeth for him.
>Colgate smiles, her white teeth gleaming, and heads out.
>You let go of Anon, and he lets go of you.
>"She scares the fuck outta me."
"Me too..."
>Anon continues getting ready for his date, and you constantly narrate his progress.
>At one point he stops you to ask a question.
>"So what the hell does a maple leaf cutie mark have to do with your talent of annoying people?"
"Oh, well buddy, back home in Caneighda my family owns the biggest maple syrup company, and so special talent is finding the maple trees that will produce the best quality."
>"And your annoying habit?"
"I just do that for fun eh?"
>Soon enough, six o clock arrives and a timid knock on the door signals the arrival of Fluttershy.
>"You aren't following us to dinner."
"Of course I am eh? And thanks for payng."
>Anon tries to hit you, but you jump back.
>You both join Fluttershy and head towards the restaurant.
"The two lovers remain awkwardly silent as we head to the restaurant. You could cut the sexual tension with a knife eh?."
>Anon looks back at you, but you ignore it.
"Fluttershy reaches her wing out for Anon to hold, and after a little prompting, he accepts."
>Fluttershy looks back at you this time, and you flash her a smile.
"As they approach the restaurant, Fluttershy begins to get frisky, nuzzling Anon right in the hockey stick. Anon pushes her away however, saying 'later'.
>This time they both look back at you, one in joy, the other in horror.
"The pair walk into the restaurant, and after perusing the menu, the couple both order spaghetti, and a third plate for me."
>You remain silent for several minutes as Anon and Fluttershy talk.
>They seem to be getting along quite well.
>Eventually the waiter arrives, with the three plates of spaghetti.
>On his way over to your table, however, he slips on some spilled coffee and drops the tray.
>Spaghetti everywhere.
>You jump up to avoid the pasta explosion, and somehow avoid getting hit.
>Fluttershy, who was trying to kiss Anon, however, and gets a face full of ragu and noodles.
>A red unicorn, seemingly distracted,  steps on some noodles and loses his footing, nearly falling and careening right into you.
"Woah, sorry I got in the way of you falling eh?"
>The unicorn remains silent for the longest time, staying propped up against you.
>Spaghetti slowly seeps from his saddlebags.
>Then:"Wuten also apologizes, for he did not intend to fall on you. Wuten was simply mesmerized at the display of pastamancy before him, and did not see that he would slip."
>You blink at him a few times.
"You narrate things too?"
>"The pegasus is staring at Wuten, 'you narrate?' he asks, clearly not knowing of Wuten's world famousness."
>The red unicorn stops leaning on you and stands in front of you.
>"Wuten introduces himself to the pegasus and asks his name, intending to become friends with one who has an odd accent."
"Hey, my accent isn't weird.. My name is Alex, everyone calls me the Narrator though."
>"Wuten is pleased to meet Alex and would inquire upon the subjects of his narration."
>You look over your shoulder, where Anon is helping Fluttershy clean spaghetti out of her mane.
"Oh that's Anon and Fluttershy, i've been following him around and narrating because he's the only human in Equestria apparently."
>You notice for the first time that Wuten's cutie mark is spaghetti, you chuckle a little, and wonder if his special talent is cooking pasta.
>"Wuten sees potential for much awkward spaghetti with these two, and asks if he might join Alex in the narration of their experiences."
"Uhhhh... Sure, the more the merrier eh? I'll do Anon and you can do Fluttershy."
>You turn back to the table and seat yourself, Wuten coming to sit next to you.
>Anon looks over at you.
>"Who the fuck is this?"
>"This one is named Wuten, and he shall be providing narration to your evening alongside his new friend."
>Fluttershy smiles shyly at Wuten, and Anon mimes hanging himself while she isn't looking.
>The waiter comes back, with three more plates of spaghetti, and you all start to eat.
"Anon gazes at Fluttershy longingly when she looks down to take a bite, wondering what he did to deserve such a beautiful mare eh?"
>"Fluttershy smiles at Anon and wipes some sauce from his face, giggling when he scowls."
>The evening continues in this vein, and despite his protests, you can see Anon is having a good time.
"The waiter arrives to take the plates, leaving the bill with Anon, who generously offers to pay for the evening."
>"Anon glares at Alex, obviously displeased with him, although at Fluttershy's insistence, he relents and pays for the three meals."
"The couple get up and leave the table, heading out of the restaurant and deciding to take a walk around ponyville."
>Anon looks back at you and Wuten.
>"We aren't a couple, freako, it's just one date."
>"On the contrary, Wuten believe that the two of you make a wonderful couple, and you should rut before the evening is through.."
>An awkward silence falls over the group, and the smell of ragu permeates the air.
>"We're not a couple."
"Well, even if she isn't your marefriend, at least she's your best friend eh?"
>"She's not my best friend either!"
>"Fluttershy begins to tear up at Anon's hurtful words, obviously distressed at the anger with which he speaks of her."
"Look at what you did to Fluttershy Anon! Why do ya gotta be so mean to her eh?"
>Anon is about to reply but Fluttershy cuts him off.
>"I... I j-just want to be with you Anon.. I love you and care about you and I'll never let anything hurt you."
>From far across the multiverse you hear the sound of jimmies being mightily rustled by those words.
>"Anon stands speechless, looking at both Wuten and Alex in turn, desperate for someone to help him."
"Everyone remains quiet, staring and the panicking human as he tries to avoid confronting his feelings for Fluttershy."
>"I...I don't have feelings for Fluttershy!"
>"Wuten disagrees, he has followed enough ponies to know when one likes another. Anon may have disliked Fluttershy at first, but his disposition towards her will improve."
>You all turn to look at the red unicorn.
"What does that even mean, eh?"
>"It means that even though he treats Fluttershy like he hates her, Anon is most likely finding himself caring for, perhaps even starting to love Fluttershy."
>Anon glares angrily at Wuten before storming off.
>Fluttershy... Flutters... to catch up with Anon, Wuten and you following behind.
"Fluttershy approaches Anon, who seems to be upset. She wraps her wing around his waist, not even going for his crotch this time."
>"Are you o-okay Anon? "
"Anon looks down at Fluttershy, who is rubbing his back comfortingly with her wing."
>"I'm sorry I've treated you so badly Fluttershy, but that red freak is right, I think I might be in love with you."
"Fluttershy tries not to squee, because Anon still looks sad eh? Wouldn't wanna get that hoser mad again."
>Wuten nudges you and motions to stop as both Fluttershy and Anon glare at you.
"Alright alright, I'm done for now, sorry eh?"
>Fluttershy turns back to Anon, a happy smile on her face.
>"Well, if you l-love me Anon, why are you always so mean and unhappy?"
>Anon sighs and scratches Fluttershy's ear, causing her to tremble slightly.
>"Because i'm human, and you're a pony, it's weird that I would love you."
>"I'm a pony.. And I love you, and I don't think it's weird at all.."
>Deciding to leave the two alone for a while, you motion for Wuten to walk with you.
"So buddy, what got you into narrating other peoples lives eh?"
>The red unicorn breaks his narrative tone, suddenly speaking in a much more normal voice.
>"I've always enjoyed watching other people's awkward situations, and I enjoy sharing it with my friends."
>He motions to a previously unnoticed minicam next to his horn.
"Oh, you must have seen a lot of funny stuff then eh?"
>"You have no idea friend."
"Who was the weirdest person you ever followed around?"
>"Well, there was this one guy named Eclipse, let me tell you his story..."
>You listen in growing horror as you both walk into the sunset, and you have the feeling this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.