M2K STATEMENT ON CYNTHIA

[–]mew2king 79 points an hour ago*
https://www.facebook.com/notes/jason-zimmerman/cynthia/10153163823638177
I want to share my personal experiences/feelings with my situation with cynthia.
I was talking to this girl cynthia, who I met once in FL at a tournament (we just took a picture together at the tournament) then again randomly found her twitter, and I thought she was a cute girl, so I messaged her on twitter, cuz, why not? A few days later, she told me she broke up with her bf, and then we started to talk on facebook after that. It seemed fine for more than a month. We both thought we had a lot in common, we both thought each other looked good, etc., so I thought maybe something could work out. I thought she had a genuine interest in me, and from online talks, things seemed to be going well. She told me how she didn't have much money (For some reason I just assume the things everyone says is true because I give people the benefit of the doubt a little TOO much in my life. I still currently do not know the real situation or not regarding that), and also that one of the things she went to college for was for event management. Based on that, I decided I could help her out by convincing my boss (Greg) to hire her. That could help her out a lot I thought, and it could help me out potentially, if it went well. So basically it was a test trial to see how things would go and then we'd go from there. Both from a relationship perspective and from a work perspective (to kill 2 birds with one stone I thought was the logical/smart thing to do, cuz why not? makes sense to me).
I got her a plane ticket ($400) that she promised she'd pay back (this never happened, I never got my 400 back and I didn't want to push it because I would feel bad to take money from someone that claimed that they didn't have much money to begin with. I'm that type of naive fool, yes. Also she never took my flight back home; only the one here, so the one towards home was just a waste of money) to get her to AZ to stay for about a week and a half. I think I got this ticket at least a few weeks in advance so that it was a reasonable price. About 2 weeks (I don't remember exactly but something like that?) before she came over, she was talking to this other guy named Ryan Kidd, who is a Halo pro player in Florida. We talked and it turned out that she liked both him and me, and was flip-flopping her emotions basically over the following days/hours. I also told her that I talked to other girls besides her, but that I liked her by far the most among them, at that point in time. I wanted to be open and honest ahead of time because I thought that was the "right thing to do", so I was just as honest as I thought I could be, by saying all that up front. She suggested an open relationship, so I said okay because she convinced me it was the logical thing to do so after a small talk I then agreed on it. After several days of it though (4?), my emotions got to me, and I told her I didn't want to do that anymore. But she said that she now wanted to give this guy a chance first (but part of me still thinks it's because he lived in florida and i didn't, or something to do with looks but that is only speculation/guesses, which is easy to just deny). Then in a group called Melee Hell on facebook, which I was dumb enough to add her to for no real reason (like I actually had no reason - I didn't think twice about it actually), she posted to another member that "Thanks for making me famous :)" so when I was shown this (among other messages from other players, but that was the biggest one for me. a LOT of people actually warned me against getting involved with cynthia, but I assumed it was all pure speculation so I wanted to give people[cynthia] the benefit of the doubt instead of just hunches or vibes), I confronted her about it, because in the context of it, it was, imo, some bad and shady things to say. So of course the logical choice is to confront her about it to get to the bottom of it and get those worries off my shoulders.
This is when things really changed between us. Instead of just explaining her reasoning/logic on what she said, (I had screenshot proof things she said), she basically told me that I should have just trusted her by default, and that I shouldn't need to ask these types of questions. She ignored my messages for 2 long days after this small talk we had (by small talk that means basically her making me feel bad for asking that question and then ignoring me afterwords). I was not even sure if she would catch her flight here or not. She said she changed her feelings about me for this. Being the type of blame-everything-on-myself person that I am, I took this to heart, but was also extremely confused from that moment onwards, and the confusion lasted for over a month after that moment too. I wondered how my logic was bad? I was just asking for an explanation, and instead what I got was an explanation that she no longer felt the same about me anymore, just because I asked about a reasonable question for a reasonable concern. Things really really changed at that specific moment and onwards.
She got to arizona, and didn't want to do anything with me anymore really, except sometimes back massages which we agreed to give each other because we both experienced back pain every day. Nothing was the same compared to how it was when we talked online (for majority of our talks), and being the naive idiot I am, I was extremely confused why from that moment and for the entire following month afterwords. The confusion never ended. I couldn't put together both a logical but also nice reasoning as to why this could be happening. I might have convinced myself that the best version of her towards me (for example, the first month and a half we talked online could be that version) was the only real version of her that existed at all. I really liked this girl or at least, what I talked to her online of, the her I thought she was, I thought I liked (mainly a combination of similar interests + seem nice + look good). After so many weeks of that in a row, it became the "truth" to me, and anything else was just confusing. It became very important, according to her, for me to retweet anything she did, and any pictures of us. I was confused how I could suddenly become her "best friend" that she called me on twitter (because I'm dumb), when it seemed nothing like that in the past. I ended up getting her followers to 2000 from just a few 100 by doing this over a week/weeks. We even went to an anime convention in AZ and she told me to just get accessories (like posters and stuff) and not to worry about the money spent on it (which Greg told me was wrong to do but I didn't know that I just always assume people are telling me the truth for some reason. My brain never thinks "this person might be wrong or might be lying for whatever reason".)
(see the below comment I made under this for the rest)