Deadmeat Chronicles: The Paramedic

>You are a paramedic.
>You were called to the local park because someone fell and skinned his knee.
>He was flexing at some girls when he tripped.
>The guy seems alright and doesn’t want to go to the hospital.
>You bandaged the guy’s knee and are letting your partner get the no transport paperwork.
>Let the new guy talk with ‘Chad’.
>Fuck, who talks in third person anyway?
.>”You! Munsta!”
>Damn, fluffies out the ass in this place.
>They need to secure the trash better, keep the grass cut, maybe some of these things would starve out.
>”You! Munsta!”
>Ho-ho-HOOLLLD on check out this hot young thing coming this way!
>Nice tits, nice legs… fuck yea I’m a guy in uniform!
>Play it cool, “Hey, what you out doing today?” flash the smile.
>She looks at you with a coy smile, “Nothing sir. I was just wondering…. Do you know any single cops or firefighters?”
>…… fucking bitch……..
>”Ummm, no. Nah, I’m just waiting on my partner over there… about to leave…”
>Mask the ole deflated ego there guy!
>”Oh ummm, ok. Just thought I’ld ask!” She flashes a smile as she runs back to her friends.
>”You! Munsta!”
>God come on! Let’s see he’s… over there jogging in place with the guy… Fuck my li-
>You feel something ram your leg.
>You look down and see a maroon unicorn fluffy with a light green mane, looking at you.
>”You! Munsta!”
>Nice! Now I can take out some frustration…. Damn, is that kid looking at me.
>Shit! Can’t kill one of these in front of a kid, his lucky day.
>You look down at the unicorn, wow, that ear is pretty mangled, “What?”
>”Yoo hewp musta! Yoo hewp fwen!”
>”What?” You say genuinely surprised, most of these things want hugs or food.
>”Hewp fwen! Fwen hewt!” It starts to run over to another fluffy pony.
>You take on look at the thing and see the problem.
>It has gashes in is back and dried blood all in its fur, looks like a dog or something got a hold of it.
>The unicorn is looking at you, “You hewp munsta, yoo make fwen betta!”
>”Well you see, I’m about to go because my partner…”
>You turn and see your partner and the jogger looking at and rubbing each other’s abdominal muscles.
>”You know what? Life kinda sucks right now, I’ll look at your friend.”
>You walk to the wounded fluffy, the bleeding has stopped, the blood is drying, its not breathing.
>”Sorry, nothing I can do.” You say standing back up.
>”No! Yoo make musta betta, yoo make fwen betta!”
>”Sorry I can’t, your friend is dead kid.”
>It looks at you then his friend then back, you see confusion on the little guys face.
>”Ok, let me put it this way, everyone who’s friend is going to be playing with them this afternoon raise their hoof.”
>The unicorn looks even more confused, it sits back and starts to raise one of its hooves.
>You stop it, “Not so fast there fella.”
>”Why two wegged monsta no hewp?”
>Strange, the fluffy actually seems sad, this things don’t have emotion.
>”Because your friend is dead, he’s immortally challenged.”
>”No-“
>”He’s ten toes up, got transferred to the eternal care unit, gonna need a ladder to pick turnips”
>”Finally beat his oxygen addiction, became a necrophiliac’s dream, bought the farm”
>”Bit the bullet, taking the big dirt nap, playing everyone’s favorite game shaking hands with Jesus”
>”Has gone the way of so many before him who have inspired warning labels”
>“On the bright side, your friend can now start doing that work out!”
>The confused unicorn looks at you, “Wha wook owt?”
>”The work out of pushing up daisies!” You finish giving it a double point and a big smile.
>The little fluff ball looks sad looking at his friend, “Yoo no hewp fwen….”
>FUCK MY LIFE! Feeling sorry for yard trash….
>You lean down, the maroon fluffy quickly jumps away.
>You look at him, “Listen, your friend is dead. He will never wake up. There is nothing anyone can do for him.”
>”See, it’s not breathing.” You say pointing to the dead fluffy.
>You poke it, “It is cold and stiff. I know you can’t understand but it’s dead.”
>The maroon fluffy walks up and pokes the dead fluffy himself.
>”Fwen nevah wakey?”
>”Right, never wakey.”
>Fuck, is he tearing up? Maybe give a pep talk.
>”Listen, we all die. Your kind is kinda good at it to tell the truth.” It looks up with tears in its eyes.
>”Look at it this way your friend isn’t suffering anymore. It is at peace.”
>It looks like it wants to say something, “Listen kid, life suck. Life sucks hard.”
>”But when it does suck, you have to dust yourself off and move on. Don’t let it keep you down.”
>You smile and give a thumbs up, it doesn’t seem to work.
>You never were good with death talks.
>”Fwen… dead… nevah wakey…” it turns and walks away.
>Damn, looks like the thing is sad.
>You watch it walk away.
>You hope that what you did was good.
>Ah well, these things really don’t understand death so it should be alright.
>”Dude! I’m coming back tomorrow! Me and that guy are gonna start jogging together!”
>Nice… your partner is back.
>”Oh yea, this girl gave me her phone number! Can you believe that?”
>You look at your partner, “Yes…. Yes I can…. Let’s just go!”
>You leave to finish your shift.
>You can’t help but to wonder about that sad fluffy though.