API tools faq
paste
Guest User

bot commands - shen

a guest
Oct 27th, 2015
238
0
Never
Add comment
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
text 38.36 KB | None | 0 0
raw download clone embed print report
  1. on *:TEXT:!commands:#: { //msg $chan || Bot Commands: http://pastebin.com/tSsyBG35 & http://pastebin.com/aCye9nez || }
  2. on *:TEXT:!bear*:#: { describe $chan throws a bear at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  3. on *:TEXT:!table*:#: { describe $chan flips a table at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  4. on *:TEXT:!comb*:#: { describe $chan combs $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  5. on *:TEXT:!whisky*:#: { describe $chan pours $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) a double whisky }
  6. on *:TEXT:!glomp*:#: { describe $chan glomps $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) from behind! }
  7. on *:TEXT:!pollen*:#: { describe $chan collects some premium pollen for $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  8. on *:TEXT:!jamba*:#: { describe $chan builds a massive jamba for $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  9. on *:TEXT:!bucket*:#: { describe $chan prepares the bucket for $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  10. on *:TEXT:!pancakes*:#: { describe $chan sends $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) a large stack of pancakes! }
  11. on *:TEXT:!doobie*:#: { describe $chan flings a big stinky doobie over to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  12. on *:TEXT:!tickle*:#: { describe $chan tickles $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) till they giggle! }
  13. on *:TEXT:!spank*:#: { describe $chan spanks $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) hard! }
  14. on *:TEXT:!quiche*:#: { describe $chan gives $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) a large slice of ham and cheese quiche! }
  15. on *:TEXT:!brick*:#: { describe $chan gives $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) a beautiful Red Brick }
  16. on *:TEXT:!rose*:#: { describe $chan gives $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) a beautiful Red Rose }
  17. on *:TEXT:!pineapple*:#: { describe $chan gives $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) a big spikey pineapple! }
  18. on *:TEXT:!sing*:#: { describe $chan sings along with $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  19. on *:TEXT:!bite*:#: { describe $chan bites $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) hard }
  20. on *:TEXT:!burger*:#: { describe $chan gives a half-pounder burger to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  21. on *:TEXT:!cider*:#: { describe $chan gives a bottle of cider to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  22. on *:TEXT:!rum*:#: { describe $chan gives a flagon of rum to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  23. on *:TEXT:welcome home beata*:#: { describe $chan gives Beata a glass of Vodka and a cheesecake }
  24. on *:TEXT:welcome home hawky*:#: { describe $chan gives Hawky a cold beer and a hash pipe }
  25. on *:TEXT:welcome home geth*:#: { describe $chan gives Geth a cold beer with a red diesel chaser }
  26. on *:TEXT:welcome home lorlormoo*:#: { describe $chan gives LorLorMoo a hot chocolate and a big hug }
  27. on *:TEXT:welcome home joe*:#: { describe $chan gives JoePinball a coffee and a spliff! }
  28. on *:TEXT:welcome home mary*:#: { describe $chan gives Mary a double whisky and some french onion soup }
  29. on *:TEXT:welcome home distemper*:#: { describe $chan gives Distemper a spliff and a reach around }
  30. on *:TEXT:!collapse*:#: { describe $chan crushes $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) to a size smaller than their Schwarzschild radius, turning them into a micro black hole. }
  31. on *:TEXT:!comet*:#: { describe $chan redirects a Comet at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and watches as it ends all life on their world while depositing new material that will eventually evolve and claim the planet as its own }
  32. on *:TEXT:snore:#: { //msg $chan is that Geth i hear? }
  33. on *:TEXT:!sleep*:#: { describe $chan tucks $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) into bed and reads them a bedtime story }
  34. on *:TEXT:!frieball*:#: { describe $chan flings hot fried egg balls at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  35. on *:TEXT:!snore*:#: { describe $chan records $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) snoring and uploads it for all to hear! }
  36. on *:TEXT:!bouncer*:#: { describe $chan watches the bouncers remove $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) from the room by force }
  37. on *:TEXT:!star *:#: { describe $chan gives a gold star to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  38. on *:TEXT:!star:#: { describe $chan gives a gold star to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  39.  
  40. on *:TEXT:!pug*:#: { describe $chan curses all the games $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) plays with bad pugs! }
  41. on *:TEXT:!pasta*:#: { describe $chan summons the Flying Spaghetti Monster to bless $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) with His Noodly Appendage! }
  42. on *:TEXT:!point*:#: { describe $chan points at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  43. on *:TEXT:!snog*:#: { describe $chan snogs $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) passionately! }
  44. on *:TEXT:!asshole*:#: { describe $chan launches $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) into an Asshole! Where they... well i'm sure you can imagine it's not something that needs to be described... }
  45. on *:TEXT:!leeroy*:#: { describe $chan watches in awe as $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) charges into a lair at the front of his group screaming "LEEROYYYY JENKINS!" and dies, leaving $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) $+ , $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) and $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) to fend for themselves, unprepared. }
  46. on *:TEXT:!torpedo*:#: { describe $chan launches a full barrage of torpedoes at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! Direct Hit! }
  47. on *:TEXT:!volcano*:#: { describe $chan drops $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) into an active volcano as a sacrifice to the Gods! }
  48. on *:TEXT:!bong*:#: { describe $chan prepares the Big Bong for $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  49. on *:TEXT:!blackhole*:#: { describe $chan launches $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) into a Black Hole! They are slowly stretched into spaghetti until one day, millions of years later, they are reduced to nothing! }
  50. on *:TEXT:!whitehole*:#: { describe $chan launches $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) into a White Hole! They are vapourized by all the matter and energy it spews out! }
  51. on *:TEXT:!minion*:#: { msg $chan Minion $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! You Belong to $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) now! }
  52.  
  53. //me3 //misc commands
  54. //on *:TEXT:!power*:#: { if ($2 == 9***) { msg $chan Your Power Level is over $rand(0,10000) $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  55. else { msg $chan Your Power Level is $rand(0,10000) $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  56. }
  57.  
  58. //on *:TEXT:!power*:#: { if ($2 == Shenanigans) { msg $chan OMG! Your Power Level is over nine thousand $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  59. else { msg $chan Your Power Level is only $rand(0,8999) $iif($2 == Shenanigans,$nick,$iif($2,$2,$nick)) }
  60. }
  61. //on *:TEXT:!power*:#: { msg $chan Your Power Level is $rand(0,8999) $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  62.  
  63. on *:TEXT:!pervert*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % perverted, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  64. on *:TEXT:!sale*:#: { msg $chan You have $rand(0,100) $+ % chance of making a sale, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  65. on *:TEXT:!nervous*:#: { msg $chan You are only $rand(0,100) $+ % nervous, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  66. on *:TEXT:!dwarf*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Dwarf, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  67. on *:TEXT:!elf*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Elf, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  68. on *:TEXT:!imp*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Imp, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  69. on *:TEXT:!devil*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Devil, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  70. on *:TEXT:!demon*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Demon, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  71. on *:TEXT:!deviant*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Deviant, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  72. on *:TEXT:!dirty*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Dirty, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  73. on *:TEXT:!mechanoid*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Mechanoid, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  74. on *:TEXT:!gelf*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Genetically Engineered Life Form, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  75. on *:TEXT:!tired*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Tired, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  76. on *:TEXT:!drunk*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Drunk, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  77. on *:TEXT:!cyborg*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Cyborg, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  78. on *:TEXT:!android*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Android, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  79. on *:TEXT:!drazi*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Drazi, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  80. on *:TEXT:!shadow*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Shadow, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  81. on *:TEXT:!vorlon*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Vorlon, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  82. on *:TEXT:!centauri*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Centauri, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  83. on *:TEXT:!narn*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Narn, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  84. on *:TEXT:!minbari*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Minbari, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  85. on *:TEXT:!vulcan*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Vulcan, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  86. on *:TEXT:!ferengi*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Ferengi, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  87. on *:TEXT:!betazoid*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Betazoid, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  88. on *:TEXT:!trill*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Trill, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  89. on *:TEXT:!cardassian*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Cardassian, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  90. on *:TEXT:!romulan*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Romulan, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  91. on *:TEXT:!borg*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Borg, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  92. on *:TEXT:!klingon*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Klingon, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  93. on *:TEXT:!naughty*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % naughty, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  94. on *:TEXT:!nice*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % nice, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  95. on *:TEXT:!stoned*:#: { msg $chan You are only $rand(0,100) $+ % Stoned, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  96. on *:TEXT:!human*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Human, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  97. on *:TEXT:!bad*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Bad, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  98. on *:TEXT:!lame*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Lame, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  99. on *:TEXT:!right*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Right, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  100. on *:TEXT:!wrong*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Wrong, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  101. on *:TEXT:!bitch*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Bitch, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  102. on *:TEXT:!bastard*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Bastard, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  103. on *:TEXT:!potato*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % Potato, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  104. on *:TEXT:!chance*:#: { msg $chan You have $rand(0,100) $+ % chance of getting an Ultra Rare, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  105. on *:TEXT:!hotair*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % full of Hot Air, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  106. on *:TEXT:!bullshit*:#: { msg $chan You are $rand(0,100) $+ % full of shit, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  107. on *:TEXT:!hot*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Hotter than everyone else, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  108. on *:TEXT:!quarian*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Quarian, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  109. on *:TEXT:!pyjak*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Pyjak, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  110. on *:TEXT:!keeper*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Keeper, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  111. on *:TEXT:!elcor*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Elcor, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  112. on *:TEXT:!yahg*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Yahg, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  113. on *:TEXT:!volus*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Volus, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  114. on *:TEXT:!turian*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Turian, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  115. on *:TEXT:!hanar*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Hanar, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  116. on *:TEXT:!prothean*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Prothean, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  117. on *:TEXT:!reaper*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Reaper, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  118. on *:TEXT:!batarian*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Batarian, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  119. on *:TEXT:!asari*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Asari, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  120. on *:TEXT:!drell*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Drell, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  121. on *:TEXT:!salarian*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Salarian, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  122. on *:TEXT:!krogan*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Krogan, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  123. on *:TEXT:!patch*:#: { describe $chan patches the leak $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) is having }
  124. on *:TEXT:!woman*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Woman, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  125. on *:TEXT:!man*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Man, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  126. on *:TEXT:!neutral*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Neutral, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  127. on *:TEXT:!evil*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Evil, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  128. on *:TEXT:!good*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Good, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  129. on *:TEXT:!vorcha*:#: { msg $chan You Are $rand(0,100) $+ % Vorcha, $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  130. on *:TEXT:!mob*:#: { describe $chan forms a mob to persecute $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) with pitchforks and torches }
  131. on *:TEXT:!orchidometer*:#: { describe $chan measures the testicles of $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ . $rand(0,25) on the orchidometer! }
  132. on *:TEXT:!whraith*:#: { describe $chan contacts Whraith to measure the testicles of $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ . $rand(0,25) on the orchidometer! }
  133. on *:TEXT:!banana*:#: { describe $chan flings a banana over to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  134. on *:TEXT:!carrot*:#: { describe $chan flings a carrot over to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  135. on *:TEXT:!phaser*:#: { describe $chan fires at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) with the phaser banks, vapourizing them into nothingness }
  136. on *:TEXT:!planck*:#: { describe $chan fixes their absolute position, causing $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) to accelerate into a puddle of goo }
  137.  
  138. //me3
  139. on *:TEXT:!warlord*:#: { describe $chan charges up to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and hits them with a big fucking hammer! }
  140. on *:TEXT:!sentinel*:#: { describe $chan charges into $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and smacks them down with the Shield }
  141. on *:TEXT:!fury*:#: { describe $chan melts $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) down with the Annihilation Field }
  142. on *:TEXT:!destroyer*:#: { describe $chan activates Destroyer Mode and attacks $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) with Multi-Frag Grenades as it's rocket flies into a wall in the distance... }
  143. on *:TEXT:!shadow*:#: { describe $chan teleports behind $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and takes their head clean off with Shadow Strike! }
  144. on *:TEXT:!demolisher*:#: { describe $chan builds a Supply Pylon and starts throwing Arc Grenades and shooting Homing Grenades at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  145. on *:TEXT:!slayer*:#: { describe $chan teleports behind $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and slices them in half with a Biotic Slash! }
  146. on *:TEXT:!sparta*:#: { describe $chan screams "THIS IS THE LEGION EFFECT!" and kicks $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) into the bottomless pit! }
  147. on *:TEXT:!cluster*:#: { describe $chan chucks a Cluster Grenade at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and blows $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) $+ , $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) and $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) into tiny pieces }
  148. on *:TEXT:!inferno*:#: { describe $chan flings an Inferno Grenade at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and burns $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) $+ , $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) and $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) into crispy pieces }
  149. on *:TEXT:!olaf*:#: { describe $chan gets Olaf to Biotic Charge $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and Novaguards them into hell }
  150. on *:TEXT:!frag*:#: { describe $chan flings a Frag Grenade at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and kills $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) $+ , $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) and $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) }
  151. on *:TEXT:!airlock*:#: { describe $chan tosses $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) out of the Airlock! }
  152. on *:TEXT:!riganna*:#: { describe $chan gets Riganna to go and revive $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  153. on *:TEXT:!explode*:#: { describe $chan explodes $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) with the Krysae Sniper Rifle }
  154. on *:TEXT:!concshot*:#: { describe $chan knocks $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) off the roof with Concussion Shot }
  155. on *:TEXT:!concussion*:#: { describe $chan knocks $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) off the roof with Concussion Shot }
  156. on *:TEXT:!carbine*:#: { describe $chan melts $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) with the Reegar Carbine }
  157. on *:TEXT:!arcnade*:#: { describe $chan chucks an Arc Grenade at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and kills $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) $+ , $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) and $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) }
  158. on *:TEXT:!flamethrower*:#: { describe $chan sets fire to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) with its wrist mounted flamethrower! }
  159. on *:TEXT:!lash*:#: { describe $chan charges at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and whips them to shreds with its biotic lash! }
  160. on *:TEXT:!calibrate*:#: { describe $chan calibrates $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ 's weapon... }
  161. on *:TEXT:!rosy*:#: { describe $chan calls up LadyAlekto and pays her to take out $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) with her trusty revenant }
  162. on *:TEXT:!maw*:#: { describe $chan shoots a thresher maw at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) with the Thresher Maw Cannon }
  163. on *:TEXT:!thresher*:#: { describe $chan summons the Thresher Maw Queen and watches as she wraps around $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and drags them underground }
  164. on *:TEXT:!turret*:#: { describe $chan surrounds $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) with Turrets and watches as they're riddled with holes }
  165. on *:TEXT:!thanix*:#: { describe $chan tells Garrus to fire the Thanix Cannon at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) wiping out every trace of their existence }
  166. on *:TEXT:!medigel*:#: { describe $chan runs over to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and applies MediGel™ }
  167. on *:TEXT:!tech*:#: { describe $chan uses overload on $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and watches as LordShen detonates it with his Concussion Shot, killing $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) }
  168. on *:TEXT:!revive*:#: { describe $chan runs over to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and applies MediGel™ }
  169. on *:TEXT:!headbutt*:#: { describe $chan headbutts $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and shouts "Yaahaaah!" }
  170. on *:TEXT:!banshee*:#: { describe $chan watches as a banshee teleports next to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and thrusts her arm through their chest }
  171. on *:TEXT:!cobra*:#: { describe $chan shoots a Cobra Missile at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and blows everything away }
  172. on *:TEXT:!phantom*:#: { describe $chan watches as a phantom de-cloaks behind $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and thrusts her sword through their spine }
  173. on *:TEXT:!brute*:#: { describe $chan watches as a brute charges at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and tramples on them till they're dead }
  174. on *:TEXT:!swarmer*:#: { describe $chan explodes and sends a horde of swarmers at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  175. on *:TEXT:!atlas*:#: { describe $chan watches as an Atlas picks $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) up and smashes them into the ground }
  176. on *:TEXT:!biotic*:#: { describe $chan sets up a biotic explosion with $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and blows $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) into tiny little bits }
  177. on *:TEXT:!punch*:#: { describe $chan cranks back its fist.......................................................... and punches $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) in the head, causing it to explode like a ripe watermelon }
  178. on *:TEXT:!biocharge*:#: { describe $chan biotic charges at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and sends them flying }
  179. on *:TEXT:!warp*:#: { describe $chan blows $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) into pieces with a Warp & Throw Combo }
  180. on *:TEXT:!grab*:#: { describe $chan yanks $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) over the counter and smashes them in the face }
  181. on *:TEXT:!husk*:#: { describe $chan impales $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) on the dragons teeth and watches as they're drained of fluids and turned into a husk }
  182. on *:TEXT:!palm*:#: { describe $chan protects $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) from damage with its Phantom Palm Space Magic Shield™ }
  183. on *:TEXT:!prime*:#: { describe $chan shoots at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) from across the map and kills them in 3 shots }
  184. on *:TEXT:!melt*:#: { describe $chan turns $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) into white hot goo with the geth melee attack }
  185. on *:TEXT:!indoctrinate*:#: { describe $chan indoctrinates $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) into believing that $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) is God }
  186.  
  187. //l4d commands
  188. on *:TEXT:!boomer*:#: { describe $chan jumps out and vomits all over $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) attracting a large horde of zombies }
  189. on *:TEXT:!hunter*:#: { describe $chan pounces on $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) from a great height and starts tearing them to pieces }
  190. on *:TEXT:!charger*:#: { describe $chan charges into $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and starts smashing them into the ground }
  191. on *:TEXT:!spitter*:#: { describe $chan spits acid at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) melting them into goo }
  192. on *:TEXT:!smoker*:#: { describe $chan grabs $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) with its tongue and chokes them until their neck breaks }
  193. on *:TEXT:!jockey*:#: { describe $chan jumps on $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and scratches at their face with its claws }
  194. on *:TEXT:!tank*:#: { describe $chan throws a car at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  195. on *:TEXT:!witch*:#: { describe $chan makes the witch angry at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and watches as she tears into them with her long, lethal claws }
  196.  
  197. //anime commands
  198. on *:TEXT:!kamehameha*:#: { describe $chan builds energy while shouting "KAMEHAMEHA!" and fires it at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) blowing them and half a mountain away }
  199. on *:TEXT:!absorb*:#: { describe $chan absorbs $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) taking on their powers and characteristics }
  200. on *:TEXT:!eat*:#: { describe $chan grabs $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and eats them whole! }
  201. on *:TEXT:!destructo*:#: { describe $chan creates a razor sharp spinning disk of energy and throws it at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) cutting them in half! }
  202. on *:TEXT:!piccolo*:#: { describe $chan calls for Piccolo to shoot his Special Beam Cannon at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  203. on *:TEXT:!teleport*:#: { describe $chan teleports $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) away! }
  204.  
  205. //fantasy commands
  206. on *:TEXT:!bolt*:#: { describe $chan flings a lightning bolt at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  207. on *:TEXT:!fireball*:#: { describe $chan shoots a fireball at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) turning them into a crispy fried person }
  208. on *:TEXT:!quake*:#: { describe $chan shakes the ground until a hole opens up and swallows $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  209. on *:TEXT:!tornado*:#: { describe $chan summons a tornado, sends it at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and watches as it flings them into the distance }
  210. on *:TEXT:!whirlpool*:#: { describe $chan conjures a whirlpool under $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and watches as it drags them down to the bottom }
  211. on *:TEXT:!chain*:#: { describe $chan shoots chain lightning at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and watches as it travels through them to hit $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) and $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) }
  212. on *:TEXT:!dispel*:#: { describe $chan dispels all magical effects and enhancements on $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  213.  
  214. //tf2 commands
  215. on *:TEXT:!medic*:#: { describe $chan runs through heavy enemy fire to heal $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  216. on *:TEXT:!engi*:#: { describe $chan builds a sentry and dispenser to protect $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and the team }
  217. on *:TEXT:!pyro*:#: { describe $chan runs round the corner and sets fire to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and all the team }
  218. on *:TEXT:!spy*:#: { describe $chan sneaks up behind $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and stabs $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) in the back }
  219. on *:TEXT:!sap *:#: { describe $chan sneaks up to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and saps all the buildings $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) has built }
  220. on *:TEXT:!sniper*:#: { describe $chan takes careful aim at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and blows $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ 's head off "boom headshot wanker!" }
  221. on *:TEXT:!snipe *:#: { describe $chan takes careful aim at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and blows $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ 's head off "boom headshot wanker!" }
  222. on *:TEXT:!ubercharge*:#: { describe $chan ubercharges $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and watches as they kill everyone in the room }
  223. on *:TEXT:!heavy*:#: { describe $chan lets rip with the autocannon at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) while shouting "Cry Some More!" }
  224. on *:TEXT:!scout*:#: { describe $chan runs around $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) beating them in with a bat }
  225. on *:TEXT:!demoman*:#: { describe $chan sets a sticky trap around $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and blows them into tiny pieces }
  226. on *:TEXT:!soldier*:#: { describe $chan shoots a critical rocket up $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ 's ass and blows them into large pieces }
  227. on *:TEXT:!sol *:#: { describe $chan shoots a critical rocket up $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ 's ass and blows them into large pieces }
  228. on *:TEXT:!civilian*:#: { describe $chan beats $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) to death with an umbrella! }
  229.  
  230. //misc
  231. //on *:TEXT:*toast *:#: { msg $chan Would anyone like some toast? }
  232. on *:TEXT:*no*toast*:#: { msg $chan How about a muffin? }
  233. on *:TEXT:*no*muffin*:#: { msg $chan Aah, so you're a waffle man? }
  234. on *:TEXT:*no*waffle*:#: { msg $chan Can i interest you in a bagel? }
  235. on *:TEXT:*no*bagel*:#: { msg $chan How about a crumpet? }
  236. on *:TEXT:*no*crumpet*:#: { msg $chan Would you like a croissant? }
  237. on *:TEXT:my head hurts*:#: { msg $chan That's your brain trying to comprehend your stupidity. }
  238. on *:TEXT:those are brave men knocking at our door:#: { msg $chan Let's go kill them! }
  239. on *:TEXT:what about the king?:#: { msg $chan He can die just fine on his own. }
  240. on *:TEXT:the gods have no mercy:#: { msg $chan that's why they're gods }
  241. on *:TEXT:!pong*:#: { msg $chan Your Pong is off the scale $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) $+ ! }
  242. on *:TEXT:!awesome*:#: { msg $chan Your Awesomeness is $rand(1,100) $+ % $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  243. on *:TEXT:!advertisment:#: { msg $chan |[Advertisment]| http://social.bioware.com/forum/1/topic/343/index/11800503 |[Advertisment]| }
  244. //on *:TEXT:* arrow *:#: { msg $chan I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the knee. }
  245. //on *:TEXT:*skyrim*:#: { msg $chan I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the knee. }
  246. //on *:TEXT:*adventurer*:#: { msg $chan I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the knee. }
  247. on *:TEXT:secrets are like herpies:#: { msg $chan If you got 'em, might as well spread 'em around. }
  248. on *:TEXT:act like a bitch:#: { msg $chan get slapped like a bitch. }
  249. on *:TEXT:do you take pleasure from committing genocide:#: { msg $chan Depends on the species, Human. }
  250. on *:TEXT:aim for her head:#: { msg $chan Because she doesn't have a heart. }
  251. on *:TEXT:fear me, lesser creatures, for i am biotics made flesh!:#: { msg $chan I don't know what drugs you're on, but stay back and I won't shoot you. }
  252. on *:TEXT:tell me again about your immune system:#: { msg $chan I have a shotgun. }
  253. on *:TEXT:who you gonna call?:#: { msg $chan Ghostbusters! }
  254. on *:TEXT:there are no men like me:#: { msg $chan There are always men like you. }
  255. on *:TEXT:we are legion:#: { msg $chan We have no beginning. We have no end. We are infinite. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. }
  256. on *:TEXT:you think i'm crazy, don't you?:#: { msg $chan Sometimes crazy is the best way to go. }
  257. on *:TEXT:we need a plan of attack:#: { msg $chan I have a plan; Attack. }
  258. on *:TEXT:an ant has no quarrel with a boot:#: { msg $chan you planning on stepping on us? }
  259. on *:TEXT:your honour is your life:#: { msg $chan Let none dispute it. }
  260. on *:TEXT:we are the borg:#: { msg $chan We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile. Freedom is irrelevant. }
  261. on *:TEXT:i believe in the golden rule:#: { msg $chan The Man with the Gold... rules. }
  262. on *:TEXT:i ain't afraid to fly:#: { msg $chan and i ain't afraid of no monkeys either }
  263. on *:TEXT:owned:#: { msg $chan pwned }
  264. on *:TEXT:owned!:#: { msg $chan pwned! }
  265. on *:ACTION:cries:#: { msg $chan got an issue? here's a tissue! }
  266. on *:TEXT:!galaxy*:#: { describe $chan gives $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) the whole galaxy! }
  267. on *:TEXT:!roll*:#: { describe $chan grunts and throws dinner rolls at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  268. on *:TEXT:!plank*:#: { describe $chan forces $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) to walk the plank into a shark infested watery grave! Yarr! }
  269. on *:TEXT:!dismiss*:#: { msg $chan Ah yes, $iif(!$2-,$nick," $+ $2- $+ ".) We have dismissed that claim. }
  270. on *:TEXT:quit yo jibba jabba*:#: { msg $chan Mr.T ain't gettin' on no plane fool! }
  271. on *:TEXT:i can hear music:#: { msg $chan eek! a cylon! }
  272. on *:TEXT:so sayeth shen:#: { msg $chan So say we all. }
  273. on *:TEXT:so say we all:#: { msg $chan So say we all! }
  274. on *:TEXT:so say we all!:#: { msg $chan SO SAY WE ALL! }
  275. //on *:TEXT:*nigga*:#: { msg $chan less of that word please. }
  276. //on *:TEXT:*nigger*:#: { msg $chan you shouldn't be saying that word and you know it. }
  277. on *:TEXT:is that a cigarette you're smoking?:#: { msg $chan no, it's a chicken. }
  278. on *:TEXT:smoke me a kipper:#: { msg $chan i'll be back for breakfast }
  279. on *:TEXT:stoke me a clipper:#: { msg $chan i'll be back for christmas }
  280. on *:TEXT:fish!:#: { msg $chan Today's fish is Trout a la crème. Enjoy your meal. }
  281. on *:TEXT:step up to red alert!:#: { msg $chan Are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb. }
  282. on *:TEXT:is it better to be feared or respected?:#: { msg $chan is it too much to ask for both? }
  283. on *:TEXT:freedom is irrelevant:#: { msg $chan resistance is futile. }
  284. on *:TEXT:tick tick tick tick:#: { msg $chan BOOM! }
  285. on *:TEXT:thank you for flying miracle airlines:#: { msg $chan where Lady Luck is your co-pilot. }
  286. on *:TEXT:the eyes are open, the mouth moves:#: { msg $chan but Mr. Brain has long since departed. }
  287. on *:TEXT:i'm as british as queen victoria:#: { msg $chan So your father's German, you're half German, and you married a German? }
  288. on *:TEXT:what if I don't want to be a delivery boy:#: { msg $chan Then you'll be fired... Out of a cannon, into the sun. }
  289. on *:TEXT:i didn't come here to be liked:#: { msg $chan You certainly came to the right place. }
  290. on *:TEXT:like a great blue salmon of justice!:#: { msg $chan the mighty Tick courses upstream to the very spawning ground of evil. }
  291. on *:TEXT:a good soldier obeys without question:#: { msg $chan A good officer commands without doubt. }
  292. on *:TEXT:there is no such thing as innocence:#: { msg $chan Only degrees of guilt. }
  293. on *:TEXT:victory needs no explanation:#: { msg $chan defeat allows none. }
  294. on *:TEXT:the important things are always simple:#: { msg $chan the simple things are always hard }
  295. on *:TEXT:teamwork is essential:#: { msg $chan it gives the enemy something to shoot at }
  296. on *:TEXT:odd objects attract fire:#: { msg $chan YOU are odd. }
  297. on *:TEXT:there is always a way:#: { msg $chan and it usually doesn't work. }
  298. on *:ACTION:*gets his cock out*:#: { msg $chan ewww, put it away! }
  299. on *:TEXT:i am not:#: { msg $chan you are too! }
  300. on *:TEXT:there's no point crying over every mistake:#: { msg $chan you have to keep on trying until you run out of cake. }
  301. on *:TEXT:speedy thing goes in:#: { msg $chan speedy thing comes out. }
  302. on *:TEXT:*nanana*:#: { msg $chan BATMAN! }
  303. on *:TEXT:stop:#: { msg $chan HAMMER TIME! }
  304. on *:TEXT:stop!:#: { msg $chan HAMMER TIME! }
  305. on *:ACTION:blames*:#: { msg $chan i blame them too, they're always causing trouble! }
  306. on *:TEXT:fu bot:#: { msg $chan fu meatsack! }
  307. on *:TEXT:call an ambulance!:#: { describe $chan runs out shouting "Whoo Whoo Whoo" with a light flashing on their head! }
  308.  
  309. //misc commands
  310. on *:TEXT:!whip*:#: { describe $chan whips $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and tells them to get back to work }
  311. on *:TEXT:!falconpunch*:#: { describe $chan delivers a star destroying punch to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and yells "FALCON PUNCH!" }
  312. on *:TEXT:!assimilate*:#: { describe $chan injects $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) with nanoprobes and assimilates them into the collective }
  313. on *:TEXT:!tumbleweed*:#: { describe $chan watches a tumbleweed roll past $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  314. on *:TEXT:!coffee*:#: { describe $chan makes $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) a steaming mug of coffee just the way they like it }
  315. on *:TEXT:!olga*:#: { describe $chan watches Olga crack her whip to bring $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) back to heel - http://tinyurl.com/6rpvac7 }
  316. on *:TEXT:!dance*:#: { describe $chan dances with $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  317. on *:TEXT:!facepalm*:#: { describe $chan facepalms at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  318. on *:TEXT:!beer*:#: { describe $chan flings an ice cold beer over to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  319. on *:TEXT:!begin*:#: { describe $chan plugs $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) into the mains socket, switches on and types /load -rs $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) Personailty Matrix.exe }
  320. on *:TEXT:!start*:#: { describe $chan turns $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) on with a switch on the back }
  321. on *:TEXT:!pie*:#: { describe $chan takes a fresh baked pie out of the oven and cuts $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) a large slice! }
  322. on *:TEXT:!molest*:#: { describe $chan touches $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) up }
  323. on *:TEXT:!end*:#: { describe $chan ends $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) with a brick *MERCY KILL* }
  324. on *:TEXT:!chillpill*:#: { describe $chan pops a couple of Chill Pills into the mouth of $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) (by force if necessary) }
  325. on *:TEXT:!peacepipe*:#: { describe $chan prepares a packed Peace Pipe for $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and the room "Smoke up, brothers" }
  326. on *:TEXT:!fuck*:#: { describe $chan takes $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) by the hand and drags them into a backroom for some illicit pornographic action }
  327. on *:TEXT:!massage*:#: { describe $chan treats $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) to an expensive massage treatment }
  328. on *:TEXT:!fail*:#: { describe $chan bakes a failcake for $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  329. on *:TEXT:!buy*:#: { describe $chan buys $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) on eBay for $rand(1,999) euros }
  330. on *:TEXT:!sell*:#: { describe $chan sells $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) on eBay for $rand(1,999) euros }
  331. on *:TEXT:!mushroom*:#: { describe $chan picks a Magic Mushroom, feeds it to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and watches as they double in size! }
  332. on *:TEXT:!coke*:#: { describe $chan grabs a can of cold coca cola out of the fridge and flings it over to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  333. on *:TEXT:!dcoke*:#: { describe $chan grabs a can of cold diet coca cola out of the fridge and flings it over to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  334. on *:TEXT:!shrooms*:#: { describe $chan flings some Magic Mushrooms over to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  335. on *:TEXT:!spliff*:#: { describe $chan flings a big pure spliff over to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  336. on *:TEXT:!beers*:#: { describe $chan chucks a 6 pack of cold beers over to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  337. on *:TEXT:!flash*:#: { describe $chan flashes at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  338. on *:TEXT:!trout*:#: { describe $chan slaps $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) around a bit with a giant trout }
  339. on *:TEXT:!tea*:#: { describe $chan makes a hot cup of tea for $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) just the way they like it }
  340. on *:TEXT:!vodka*:#: { describe $chan grabs a cold bottle of vodka from the fridge and pours $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) a double }
  341. on *:TEXT:!shots*:#: { describe $chan prepares a selection of shots for $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) including classics such as tequila & absinthe }
  342. on *:TEXT:!hug*:#: { describe $chan gives $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) a big squishy hug }
  343. on *:TEXT:!shit*:#: { describe $chan flings a lump of crap at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  344. on *:TEXT:!crap*:#: { describe $chan flings a lump of crap at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  345. on *:TEXT:!popcorn*:#: { describe $chan serves up some popcorn for $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  346. on *:TEXT:!kick*:#: { describe $chan kicks $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) out the window }
  347. //on *:TEXT:!delquote*:#: { describe $chan slaps a sign up in front of $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) bearing the words "Access Denied" }
  348. on *:TEXT:!wubble*:#: { describe $chan flings a lump of low-grade wubble at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  349. on *:TEXT:!wookie*:#: { describe $chan flings a pack of Woot Cookies™ at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  350. on *:TEXT:!cider*:#: { describe $chan slides a pint of Cider down to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  351. on *:TEXT:!choc*:#: { describe $chan dispenses a lovely bar of chocolate for $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  352. on *:TEXT:!hotchoc*:#: { describe $chan makes a lovely cup of hot chocolate for $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  353. on *:TEXT:!jackd*:#: { describe $chan pours $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) a double Jack Daniels™ }
  354. on *:TEXT:!whiskey*:#: { describe $chan pours $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) a triple whiskey }
  355. on *:TEXT:!keg*:#: { describe $chan gets the special keg of beer out of cold storage for $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  356. on *:TEXT:!grope*:#: { describe $chan walks up behind $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and gives them a good groping }
  357. on *:TEXT:!fondle*:#: { describe $chan walks up to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and gives them a good fondle }
  358. on *:TEXT:!tweak*:#: { describe $chan walks up to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and tweaks their nipples }
  359. on *:TEXT:!boobs*:#: { describe $chan flashes all six boobs at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  360. on *:TEXT:!die*:#: { if ($2 == LordShen) { describe $chan kills $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) with a lead pipe. }
  361. else { describe $chan kills $iif($2 == LordShen,$nick,$iif($2,$2,$nick)) with a lead pipe. }
  362. }
  363. on *:TEXT:!kill*:#: { if ($2 == LordShen) { describe $chan grabs $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) and chokes them to death }
  364. else { describe $chan grabs $iif($2 == LordShen,$nick,$iif($2,$2,$nick)) and chokes them good }
  365. }
  366. on *:TEXT:!kill*:#: { describe $chan grabs $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and chokes them good }
  367. on *:TEXT:!beat*:#: { describe $chan grabs $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and beats him in with a crowbar }
  368. on *:TEXT:!eclair*:#: { describe $chan launches an eclair at $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) with the Cream Cake Cannon™ }
  369. on *:TEXT:!girls*:#: { describe $chan rings Dial-a-ho™ and orders up some girls for $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  370. on *:TEXT:!rats*:#: { describe $chan jumps up onto a chair and screams! "eek rats!" }
  371. on *:TEXT:!happymeal*:#: { describe $chan orders a happy meal for $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) the big kid ;p }
  372. on *:TEXT:!love*:#: { describe $chan gives $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) some hot steamy lovin' Yeah baby yeah! }
  373. on *:TEXT:!sauna*:#: { describe $chan gets in the Sauna with $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and says "pull my finger" ;p }
  374. on *:TEXT:!tissue*:#: { describe $chan gives a tissue to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  375. on *:TEXT:!lick*:#: { describe $chan grabs $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) and licks their face *schlurrrrrrrrrrrp* }
  376. on *:TEXT:!joint*:#: { describe $chan chucks a big stinky joint over to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  377. on *:TEXT:!donut*:#: { describe $chan chucks a big donut covered with sprinkles over to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  378. on *:TEXT:!doughnut*:#: { describe $chan chucks a big doughnut covered with sprinkles over to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  379. on *:TEXT:!muffin*:#: { describe $chan flings a big chocolate muffin over to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  380. on *:TEXT:!pi *:#: { describe $chan divides $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) by Pi and gives $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) a slice }
  381. on *:TEXT:!pi:#: { describe $chan divides $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) by Pi and gives $nick($chan,$rand(1,$nick($chan,0))) a slice }
  382. on *:TEXT:!brownie*:#: { describe $chan flings a big rocky road brownie over to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  383. on *:TEXT:!pokeball*:#: { describe $chan captures $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) with a pokeball. }
  384. on *:TEXT:!masterball*:#: { describe $chan captures $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) for sure with the Master Ball. }
  385. on *:TEXT:!kfc*:#: { describe $chan sends a big bucket of KFC chicken to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) "Mmmm Finger-lickin' Good!" }
  386. on *:TEXT:!cookies*:#: { describe $chan flings a giant double chocolate cookie over to $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  387. on *:TEXT:!wine*:#: { describe $chan gets a good bottle of wine out from the cellar for $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  388. on *:TEXT:!milk*:#: { describe $chan gives $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) a cold glass of milk }
  389. on *:TEXT:!boys*:#: { describe $chan rings Dial-a-Stud™ and orders up some boys for $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
  390. on *:TEXT:!hobo*:#: { describe $chan rings Dial-a-Hobo™ and orders up some hobos for $iif(!$2-,$nick,$2-) }
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Public Pastes
We use cookies for various purposes including analytics. By continuing to use Pastebin, you agree to our use of cookies as described in the Cookies Policy.  OK, I Understand
Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!