Hellmoo Vest

I made a guy in HellMOO and went into the orphanage thing where you kill rabid babies for a nun or whatever. Some higher-level guy came in and dropped some random shit, including an explosive suicide belt. So I put that thing on and went around headbutting infants while the other newbies fearfully avoided me and my scary bomb belt.

It didn't take long for me to realize that HellMOO's experience system was going to be pretty grindy and tedious (sadly common in MUDs), so I decided to spare the orphans and see if there was anything else I could do for fun. Upon finding an uneaten pizza lying in the street, I stood next to an AFK player, ate the pizza, and vomited it onto him, one slice at a time. I didn't bother sticking around to see how he reacted when he came back to find himself covered in half-digested pizza.

Then I got diarrhoea from eating part of a dead baby I found in a dumpster, so I went over to some poor confused newbie who was actually trying to roleplay with people (poor bastard) and just stood in front of him shitting in my dress, taking bites out of a rotting foetus, pissing on myself, and snorting some crack I found on a dead guy in front of the bar. He asked me to stop. I offered him a bite of my foetus, snorted the rest of my crack, and unexpectedly began to involuntarily scream at orphans and try to murder them, because I guess snorting an entire giant rock of low-grade crack had made me stressed to the point of psychosis or something.

The newbie was extremely put off by my conduct and chose to leave. I followed him, still trying to share my tasty foetus with him. He vigorously declined and started saying angry things with "OOC:" in front of them. I told him I'd leave him alone if he took just one bite of my baby. It was okay, I told him, it would be out-of-character infant cannibalism. In his haste to get the uncontrollably shitting crack-addled screaming child-murdering baby-eating self-pissing-upon man in a dress to leave him alone, he agreed, took the foetus from me, and then ran away.

So I chased him down, grabbed him with my superior crackhead strength, began anally raping him, screamed "PRAISE ALLAH," activated my suicide belt and blasted us both to sodomite childkiller hell. Two other newbies showed up just in time to witness the terrible hobo rape, and became collateral damage.

After that I logged off and never played, or experienced any temptation to play, again. I can only assume he did the same.