Vintage Achievements

“Doctor.” “Doctor.” “Doctor.” :: Control three (3) copies of the same non-land permanent
“He could go all the way!” :: Attack with the same single creature, unblocked, for four turns in a row
“We're the three best friends that anyone could have...” :: Use Black Lotus to cast Ancestral Recall and Time Walk
[ ] :: Have no lands in play on turn three (3) or later
1, 2, 3 ... :: Control permanents with eight (8) or more counters on them
Accessibility Award :: Have three Standard-legal cards in play and/or on the stack (basic lands don't count)
After you :: Deck your opponent with Ancestral Recall
All Natural :: Win a game without ever controlling an artifact
Are you still playing? :: Win a game without your opponent resolving a spell
Back to Basics :: Have three or more basic lands in play (they may be the same type)
Buzzer beater :: Win a game in turns
Covered in Bees! :: Declare a creature with 0 power as an attacker
Float like a Spirit Token, sting like a Welder! :: Attack for exactly one (1) damage (my personal favorite)
For the squad! :: Have 10 or more power divided among five (5) or more creatures you control
From a more civilized age :: Control a non-proxy, non-reprint permanent from Arabian Nights, Legends, Antiquities, or The Dark
Global Warming :: Control a Smokestack with three (3) or more soot counters
Got there! :: Win a a game with zero cards in hand
I have a brother?! :: Put a creature into play that has the same name as a creature your opponent controls
It’s only a flesh wound! :: Have 1-9 poison
Pew! Pew! Pew! :: Destroy or kill three of your opponent's permanents in one turn
Plate spinning :: Have three (3) cards on the stack at the same time
Proletariat :: Trade with a creature in combat
Score! :: Control 20 or more permanents
Speed Racer :: Win a match with 40 minutes or more left on the clock
Still had all these… :: Discard down to your max hand size during your end step
Stop having fun! :: Control two of Chalice of the Void, Null Rod, Stony Silence or Magus of the Moon
Stop me if you’ve heard this one... :: Play spells of the same name four (4) times in a single turn
That was premature :: Achieve a storm count of 10 on your turn and pass the turn without winning
The Hard Way :: Cast a permanent that costs eight (8) or more
The meaning of the word pain :: Attack for 20 or more damage in one turn
Too close for comfort :: Win the game with a spell or ability on the stack that would otherwise cause you to lose
Who needs 'em? :: Win a game without casting a spell
Givin’ him the business :: Win a game on your first turn
"I need an Oracle lookup!" :: Control a creature with banding, rampage, protection, or landwalk
“My power grows!” :: Have 10 or more mana in your mana pool at the same time
Butterfingers! :: Lose a tutored-for card to a shuffle effect, mill effect or fateseal
Cut Heard 'Round the World :: Cut your opponent's deck to a game-winning or game-losing topdeck
Drain Bamage :: Force your opponent to discard three or more cards during one turn
Emphasis on the "Master" :: Resolve Kuldotha Forgemaster's ability and end up with as many or more permanents in play than Et tu, Bobby? :: Lose a game to a permanent you control
Even the Odds :: Deal lethal damage to a planeswalker
Five Alive :: Be able to produce at least five mana, one of each color, at the same time
Is that all you’ve got?! :: Beat turn 1, resolved: Jace, Trinisphere, Oath or Tinker
Lockdown :: Have five or more Sphere of Resistance, Thorn of Amethyst, or Chalice of the Void in play
Meadbert's Revenge :: Mulligan to one card
Old School :: Have all five original Moxen in play
Only in moderation :: Remove just enough cards with Necropotence to put you to seven (7) cards in hand
RAAAWR! :: Control 7/8 or larger Tarmogoyf
Recursion, see Recursion :: Produce an arbitrarily large amount of something (life, mana, damage, tokens, etc.)
Yangtime Award :: Reveal Blightsteel Colossus in your hand because of a spell or ability, or discard it at end of turn