Just a Friend

>You've known her since when you were children. You've always stuck up for her, always hung out with her, always made sure to never hurt her.
>Leni was a special kind of girl. The one that made you feel like you meant something other than just a friend. She had always shown signs of her wanting to get together with you - it's just that you didn't share that same feeling.
>Leni was very fragile to you and her sisters. Not only was she the dumbest of her 10 siblings, she was oblivious to the constant teasing and bullying at school until very recently. Ever since she found out it was all pointed at her, she was never the same.
>Over the years, you and Leni kept the relationship status you both had. Friends, and just friends, was what you wanted. Although it may not have been the same for Leni. You've noticed that over the years she's been trying to advance upon you, and you being the awkward dumbass you are, always told her you didn't think it was time. You've known her for 14 years, it was way past that fucking time.
>But you respected Leni and didn't want to make life any harder for her as it already is. That is, until you found out just how bad her life really was.
>You recently found out from Leni's older sister, Lori, that Leni wasn't always the dumb one. >"Nothing really happened to her" Lori told you, "She just grew up like that. The dumb blonde stereotype. ".
>You didn't really know how to respond. Lori trusted you though, as she knew you all those years alongside Leni. She knew that you understood her struggles, and that you were one of the few who cared for her.
>But the other side of the spectrum was what really broke Leni. The constant bullying at school got worse and worse everyday. Besides the normal gossip and name-calling, people made it their mission to bring her stupidity out. Tricking her into doing nasty deeds for others really got to her though. Leni never wants to hurt anyone's feelings, and hates it when she's tricked into doing it.
>What happened at school today though must have really shook Leni up though. She wasn't in 4th period, and in 5th you learned she ran out crying, looking like a complete mess. Skipping the rest of class, you run out the front door to the school and start the run home. You wonder if you should bring her anything to try and fix her. Nah, you decide it'd be best to fix her the simple way - human emotion. That and you currently have $17 to your name.
>At this point, you're basically sprinting down the sidewalk that leads to The Loud House. You've just realized how fitting the name is as the peak comes just into view. The closer and closer you get, the more of the house you see, and what's at the bottom really is difficult for you to watch. Poor Leni, sitting on the porch, head in her lap, crying.
>You decide its best to walk up slowly to her and approach her with caution. Leni wasn't always stable, but right now you really needed to talk with her. As you walked up the pathway to the porch, Leni finally looks up, and you see a hint of a smile on her face. at least she didn't want to be alone.
>As you walked up the end up the path, you threw down your book bag and sat down on the steps. Leni was still tearing up, so you decided to do the best thing you could to cheer her up.
>You hop up one step above her and wrap your arms around her. When your hands finally meet in front of her face, you see her glance up a tiny bit. She starts bawling at this point, probably because of the mixed emotions she has right now. All you can show is how much you actually care for her.
>You knock on the front door of the house and await for the door to open. Outside steps Lincoln, Leni's younger brother. You've known him since he was born, and he respected you mainly because of all the cool stuff you let him and Clyde borrow.
>"Hey man, what's up?" Lincoln says, before looking behind you. "Oh no."
>"Any chance you got a box of tissues or something?" You say to the young Loud, still staring at his sister. "I really need to help her, and alone if possible."
>Lincoln nods and runs into the living room, grabs a box of tissues, and runs to the door. He hands you the box, and before closing the door, he says this
>"I know you can fix her man. But you are the only one who can fix her, and that means going beyond your dreams." Oh no. You knew what he meant. And he was right.
>You bend down and whisper to Lincoln, "Do you really think that's the only way she'll be fine? I've known her for so long, I can't risk messing this up."
>"Look man, I may not have a say in this, but she trusts you as much as she trusts Lori or Luna or even me. Maybe even more. You gotta stop thinking for you and start thinking for her. It's now or never."
>You nod at the young boy and consider his words and then come to the conclusion - is going past your friend zone the only way to help her?
>You walk back and sit down on the same step as her and slowly lift her head from her hands. Tears running down her face, her eyes red from crying. What bastard would ever want this?
>You start handing her the tissues as she slows down on the tears. You help her wipe her face clean and pull up a trash bag to put the tissues in. When she was near done, she was still sniffling, trying to hold back more tears.
>You put your arms around her sides one more time to get her ready to talk. As she notices you hugging her, her crying starts to die down, which is a good sign for you. You then decide to start the conversation.
>"Leni, I need to know what happened today if I'm going to help you. Please go slowly and don't leave out anything. Okay?" Leni nods in reply to your plea. She can tell you anything, she's comfortable around you.
>Slightly sobbing, Leni can now actually speak. It's jarred, but you can still understand it.
>"I-I don't know w-why peop-ple go out of their w-way to hurt m-me!" She bursts out crying again. You react quickly and wrap your arm around her back. You squeeze her close to you and get another tissue with your other hand. Wiping her face, she's getting back to normal.
>"Leni, you need to calm down. No more crying, okay? I know you can do that."
>Okay, okay, I got this." She replies with confirdence. "So I've told y-you about it before r-right? About what they all say? At first it was bearable, just child names like stupid, dumb, just stuff like that. But as they got worse, I started noticing it more. People saying shit like "You better put on a helmet before you lose your head" or "You have a pair of glasses, why not use them blind ass?" I couldn't stand it. But today, today broke me."
>"I walked up to Bobby to ask him something about Lori. Just something she would like, since it's her birthday soon. But then he started... HITTING on me. It made me sick. He told me if I'd meet him at his place after school for a "night of fun". I told him he was disgusting, he was dating Lori. That's when he said it."
>"He-he told me I was just a sex image. That I- I'm sorry, I need a second." She starts tearing up in her arm away from you.
>"Shh, it's okay. Take a minute" you say to her, gently caressing her hair, holding her close to your chest.
>She starts again. "He said that I was just a sex image. Something that only exists for men to use and look at. He then said that its specifically because of how I look - my face, my tits, my body - and then proceeded to say how I shouldn't be having an opinion because of how dumb I am - that I'm all looks. And that's when I lost it."
>Having to see Leni this distraught was already killing you on the inside. Now listening to her tale of woe was the final nail in the coffin. You can't even begin to imagine how much of an asshole Bobby has to be to not only insult Leni, but to also cheat on Lori too.
>"Did you tell Lori about this? I think she needs to know." You say, hoping Leni will go to her sister for consoling.
>"No, she can't know about this." Leni replies, "She loves Bobby, telling her will break her and she'll think I was trying to steal Bobby from her."
>"Leni there's no way she'd think that! Lori is irrational sometimes, but she's understanding when it comes to family matters. You need to tell her, or I will." You say to try and get Leni to stand up. She allows you to pick her up by her hand, and you lead her inside the loud family home.
>You notice that Leni is walking very weirdly, like her legs are about to give out. You put her arms around your neck, and gently lift her onto your back. Luckily you're taller than Leni, so her feet are off the ground instead of dragging on the floor.
>You see Lynn and Lily in the living room on the floor, playing together and watching T.V. She treats you like part of the family, since you've known her since birth.
>"Hey dude! Catch!" Suddenly a football is flying straight towards Leni's face. You put your arms together and form a blockade in front of Leni's face, shielding her from the ball. Luckily just in time, as it hits your arms and bounces on the floor.
>"Dude what's up? You didn't catch it. Also what's wrong with Leni?" Leni was currently trying to hide her face away from Lynn, not wanting her to see her as such an emotional mess.
>"Leni just needs to see Lori right now. Is she in her room?" You reply in a hurried tone.
>Lynn replies back with "Yeah, she's in her room. Probably talking to Bobby or something like that."
>Hearing that made Leni start to tear up again, and make you feel angry that he still has the balls to talk to Lori. You thank Lynn and start carrying Leni up the staircase. At one end, you see Lincoln sitting on his bed, not doing anything. He probably heard you and Leni outside, and didn't know what to do.
>At the other end, you see Luan walking into her room. You walk over to Lori's door and knock on it, but first Luan decides to try and prank you and Leni. A pie comes flying out of her room, and since you're used to Luan's behavior, you quickly turn around and block your own face, shielding both you and Leni from a face full of cream. Couldn't save your shirt though.
>"You're off your game today man!" Says Luan as she walks out her room. "Normally you're a lot faster, what's keeping you down?" You presume she didn't notice Leni yet, as she stops in the hall and stares at her.
>"What's wrong with Leni? She looks like she just saw someone who PIED! Hahaha! Get it? Get it?"
>"Yes Luan. I get it, but now isn't the time. Leni needs to talk to Lori, and it's important."
>Luan nods in return, and runs back into her room. Lori finally opens the door, and the reaction she gives isn't the one you were hoping for.
>"Yeah Bobby, I'll be there tonight. Just let me get re- Wait, I'll call you back." She hangs up the phone and gives you a stern look, one that says "Oh you're fucking dead."
>"What the fuck did you do to my sister?" She's not yelling, but you can tell she's very serious.
>"Listen, Lori, it wasn't me. Leni needs to talk to you rig-
>She's getting mad at this point. "No, you're going to fucking explain why my baby sister is fucking crying, you piece of-"
>"He's not lying Lor." Thank god. Lincoln is here to bail you out. "I heard them outside. You better talk to Leni now, and it wasn't his fault. Hell, why would you think he hurt Leni?"
>She stutters back. "I-I don't know." She looks at you. "I'm sorry. I guess just seeing my baby sister crying made me lose it." You tell her it's okay and slowly take Leni off your shoulders. Before she walks into the room, you turn her towards you and hold her by the sides of her arms, just below her shoulders.
>"Remember, tell her everything you told me outside. Got it?" She nods and for the first time today, hugs you. She rests her head on your shoulder and whispers into your ear.
>"Thank you." You let go of her embrace and she does the same, and closes the door behind her. You walk to Lincoln's room and see him back on his bed, again doing nothing. He must not know what to make of the situation.
>"So... Linc..." You hear yourself say slowly. "Aw, who am I kidding, c'mere kid." You put Lincoln in a friendly headlock and give him a noogie. He's laughing at your optimism and overall playfulness you still have with him. "Man I must owe you at least a years worth of video games for bailing me outta that."
>"I don't want anything from you man." He responds, but then looks down at his feet.
>"C'mon, whats eating you up now? Lori could fix this whole thing right?"
>"It's not that. Listen, there is something you can do for me, but first a question." You look at Lincoln and nod to go on, and sot down on his bed next to him. "Do you really think that what Leni said was true? I mean, I've met Bobby before, and he doesn't seem like the type of guy to go cheating on his girlfriend, and especially not the kind of guy to go and insult anyone like that."
>You ponder this for a moment. Lincoln was right, Bobby isn't the type of person to go do that. But then you just think a bit more. "Nah, theres no way it can be fake. I may know Leni better than anyone - well maybe not Lori - and Leni is NOT the type of person to make up a sob story and act this well for it. No, this is real. And I'll be honest Linc - I'm scared I can't help Leni for this one."
>This is when Lincoln gets serious. He stands up in front of you and holds your head level with his. "No man, you are the ONLY person who can help Leni with this. Not me, not Lori, not even my parents. Its YOU. Which brings me to my favor." He breathes in, holds it in for about 5 seconds, and breathes out.
>"You have to tell Leni how you really feel about her." Oh Christ, you knew it was the inevitable. But you couldn't do anything but think - he's right. Sure, you've liked Leni this entire time, but you never wanted to get together and risk hurting her.
>"Are you serious?" You reply, "I-I don't think I'm ready Linc. I can't risk hurting your sister even more."
>"Okay, first of all, you are WAY past ready. Try 13 years ready. And trust me, theres absolutely no way you can hurt her. You love her way too much man. What she needs right now is relief from this stress - a dream from this nightmare. And YOU'RE the only one capable of that. Did I ever tell you, how much she talks about you? She's nonstop about you. She's always talking about how you're kind, willing to help her, and best of all, how you'll never leave her. You need to save her from this bro."
>You can't help but soak in everything Lincoln just told you. Maybe it really is time to confess your feelings for her. "Alright, I'll do it. For you, and especially for Leni.
>Lincoln jumps up and down in glee, happy to see his plan worked.
>"Hey," you say, "Lynn's upstairs. Wanna watch T.V. while we wait?
>He nods in reply. "First one there chooses the channel!"
>You and Lincoln spent the entire afternoon watching T.V. in the Loud House living room. You made a bet with Lincoln that whoever had the funniest show to watch would get homework answers from the other for a week. Obviously there was no way you could've won, seeing as Lincoln is in 4th grade and your a sophomore in high school. But you accepted, and won because you had the mystical power of Netflix. You both were basically dying of laughter watching old sitcoms and stand up comedians for hours. Even Luan joined in to watch a bit, and you got her to laugh as well, before she headed back upstairs to prepare some more jokes.
>After finishing your third comedy special, you look at your phone and see it's already 6 pm - you've been watching Netflix for almost 4 hours. Which also means Lori and Leni have been talking for 4 hours. Well, you thought, Lori did just find out her boyfriend was a backstabbing asshole, so you could expect them to take awhile. You look out the front window and see it's almost becoming nighttime - the sun is slowly setting, creating a beautiful, orange skyline with a setting sun as the background. If you're going to confess to Leni, it's nice that the weather also agrees with you.
>Finally, after what feels like a lifetime, you hear the eldest sister's door open and footsteps down the stairs. The first thing you see are Lori's light blue flats hitting the center of the stair. Right after, you see Leni's white sandals with the sea-green straps. She walks down further, and you start seeing the white frills of her sea-green dress. Lastly, her red earrings and white-blonde hair peek out, dangling right below her face. You've never really noticed how beautiful, and cute Leni really is. You've also never noticed just how innocent she is.
>"Alright, I think I did my older sister portion of the problem." Lori speaks first, looking at you and Lincoln, then at the T.V. which still has the Netflix home page on it. "Now I think its your time to finish this," she says while eyeballing you, "While I watch some of that Netflix of yours." Lori then switches places with you and starts flipping through the shows with Lincoln. You take Leni's hand and lead her out the front door, giving Lincoln a thumbs up as you close it. You can just barely make out Lori saying "It looks like your plan worked genius" and then starts chuckling.
>You take a moment to examine Leni now that you're outside with her. She's a lot calmer now, and much more focused then before. You help her sit on the porch step and sit down next to her, wondering what to say to her. Before you can even think of what word to start with, Leni speaks up.
>"Lincoln told you, didn't he? About how I feel about you?" You nod your head slowly and begin to give her your full attention, allowing her to speak to you, instead of you to her. "Well, I wanted you to know its true. I've known you since I was 2, and I always felt special around you. It's like some part of me is missing when I'm away from you. I feel wanted, I feel like I have someone holding onto me, making sure I'm always okay. Its just I've never had the guts to tell you how I felt. I hope this doesn't make you think I'm weird." She finishes with a sigh.
>Your emotions are racing, trying to find out which one is best for this moment. But the only thing that emerges out of you is laughter - first a giggle, then some chuckling, then you burst out dying of laughter. You see Leni's face when you're not being forced to keep them shut, and she seems distraught - almost as if she was just stabbed in the back. Shit, you fucked up, and now you've gotta fix it.
>"If you're wondering why I'm currently having a heart attack of laughter" you say through a few giggles, "Its because of what you just said last. The part where you thought I would think you were weird." Her face perks up, the confusion written all over her. "You have no idea that thats how I'VE felt all these years!"
>Before you can tell her more, you see she's crying again - but this time its with a big giggle on her face. You put pointer and middle finger up to her chin and lift her face up to yours. You wipe the tears from her eyes and she looks back down, embarrassed. This is great, you think! You can finally tell her how you're feeling! But as you've always heard from Lincoln, Leni always rushes into things.
>She starts lifting her face up to yours, with her eyes closed. Her face keeps moving closer to yours, with her lips puckered like she's going to kiss you. No, scratch that, she IS trying to kiss you. Your thoughts are basically like the fucking Indy 500 right now. You don't want this to happen, not yet at least. But the only thing your mind thinks to do is push her away. And that was the last thing you wanted to do to her.
>You try to be as calm as possible when you react. You don't full on push Leni, just a slight nudge in the opposite direction. But, with the already tormented feelings she's had all day, and this ultimate heart-breaking refusal, Leni goes from a happy stick of dynamite to a full on nuclear warhead.
>You can clearly see she's heartbroken. She doesn't know what to do, what to say. All she can think is how you just rejected her. And that's exactly how she takes it.
>She starts shaking vigorously and stuttering again. "A-A-A-Are y-you serious?" You look up, and your perfect sunset has turned into a grey, cloud filled nightmare. "After a-all this t-t-time. Af-after everything I-I-I've SAID about y-you. After everything I've F-FELT about you. AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE JUST CONFESSED TO YOU. YOU REJECT ME LIKE THIS? THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME?"
>Hearing this was tearing you apart. You wanted to tell Leni how you felt, but all she wanted to do was rush into everything. You look behind you and see Lincoln through the front window. You put your hands in a prayer signal and tell him to not tell Lori. Meanwhile Leni is still yelling at you.
>"AFTER ALL THIS TIME, AFTER ALL THIS FUCKING TIME, AND YOU JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS? I'VE LOVED YOU ALL THESE GODDAMN YEARS, AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME? BY FUCKING REJECTING ME? WAS THE ONLY REASON,  YOU NEVER WANTED TO GET TOGETHER, WAS SO PEOPLE DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE DATING A RETARD? A DUMB FUCK WHO JUST BARELY PASSES ON EACH SCHOOL YEAR? A STUPID BLONDE WHOS TREATED LIKE A WHORE? IS THAT WHY?"
>As if things weren't bad enough, it starts to rain. No, it's starts to pour. Apparantly there were storms schedules tonight, and they're starting now. But you need to calm Leni down.
>"Look, Leni, you've got it all wrong! Just please let me explain! You're acting out of control!"
>Despite your plead, she's still angry at you. "NO, YOU NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP. I'M NOT TAKING ANYMORE OF YOYR SHIT!"
>"Leni, PLEASE! Your being irrational! Just let me spe-"
>"I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!" As she's saying this, she's runs up to you and punches you square in the stomach. And HARD. You knew she took martial arts as a kid, but damn did that hurt. You double over, now holding your stomach while laying on your knees. You try to speak, but you can't. You don't. The only thing you can do is wait. You didn't even try to dodge the punch, you just need to let Leni vent. Just waiting for her moment of vulnerability. But now comes the climax of her outrage. And this one pains you to hear.
>"You're just like the others. Everyone just uses me for advantages. Whether it be to get closer to my fucking family, or to just use me for sex appeal, or TO JUST CALL ME A FUCKING IDIOT WHO NEEDS A HELMET, you're all the same. I FUCKING HATE THE WORLD!" She falls to her knees, her wet hair covering her face. She's looking at the sky, beating the ground, and screaming. "I HATE THIS WORLD, AND IT FUCKING HATES ME! I WISH I NEVER HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT! I SHOULD BE FUCKING DEAD!"
>Leni just screams from that point. Screaming in pain, screaming for mercy. At the world, at its people, at YOU. But this is your moment. And it's now or never.
>You push yourself up and stagger to stand up. Your stomach still hurts like hell, but you push that problem aside. You run up to Leni, fall to your knees, and wrap your arms around her as fast as you can. You see her jump a little, but you don't mind. You pull her in close to you, making sure she can hear every word you're about to say. She's not looking at you, and you're not looking at her, but you need to tell her now.
>"Leni, you need to stop NOW! You've got it all wrong! I'm going to tell you how I feel, and all I ask is that you listen!" She struggles to try and get away, but you only pull her in closer.
>"You want to know why I never wanted to date you? You want to know why I've never told you that I love you? You want to know why I just pushed you away?" She's not moving from your grasp. Good, she's listening to you.
>"It's because I was scared, alright! I was scared, that's why! I was scared of advancing on you, I was scared of hurting you! I can't live with that! That's it, you know now! That's why I never wanted to get together with you!"
>You give her a moment to soak this in. She's now looking down at the ground, rain and tears falling down her face. You let go of her and help her stand up, and turn her around to face you. Lifting her head up, you push her wet hair off of her face and place your hands back on the sides of her arms, letting her look at you before you speak again.
>"I guess what I'm saying is - is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being scared to get together with you, and I'm scared for denying you in your time of need." You pull her face closer to you, and speak your final thoughts.
>"Leni, you are perhaps the greatest girl I've known in my entire life. You're beautiful, you're charming. I just couldn't risk to hurt you. Could you please forgive me?"
>You let go of her, and step back to let her think. She's still crying, but now with a smile on her face, and you think to yourself - I've done it.
>Before you can speak again, Leni runs up to you and hooks her arms around your neck and pulls your face closer to hers, and pulls your lips even closer. As your lips begin to kiss, you stagger to regain your balance, but move your feet together and place your arms around her waist, as you delve deeper into your kiss with Leni. It's just the two of you, alone in the rain, kissing each other and hoping to never let go.