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- "For the last time Shining Armor, all mares fart!"
- >"And I'm telling you, mine doesn't!"
- >At the bar, both you and SA glare angrily at one another over this drunken dispute. Knocking back you drink, you point a finger at him.
- "She eats, right?"
- >"Yeah."
- "She drinks?"
- >"Yeah."
- "Then why the hell do POSSIBLY think she doesn't fart?!"
- >Slamming his hoof on the table he yells, "Cuz she's an alicorn dang it! I served under Princess Celestia for over 10 years, and I've never ONCE seen her use the toilet, much less pass gas!"
- >A guard nearby nursing his 2nd drink overhears this, "He is right, none of the royal guard have ever heard of any instances of the princesses using the lavatories."
- >SA sticks his drinkers snout in your face, "HA!"
- "We'll just see about that."
- >Knocking back your drink, you slam the glass on the table causing it to shatter.
- >The next day, you, and SA stand outside of Twilight's home, "What are we doing here? Twilight was the gassiest filly in preschool, I already KNOW she farts."
- "Just shut up."
- >Slamming on the door, it takes a few seconds before Twilight answers angrily, "GOSH ANON! Oh, hey Shinning Armor, what are you doing here?"
- "Twilight, have you been farting since you became a princess?"
- >Her face flushes red as her wings collapse against her body, "WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!?"
- >"Just tell him Twi, we have to know. I know you farted all the time when we were little."
- >Gritting her teeth and turning even redder, she shakes her head, "That's not true! I've never done that! And I never have!"
- >Slamming the door, she locks the dead bolt as you yell through the door.
- "What about Princess Celestia!? Her ass must produce HUGE farts!"
- >"Go away you freaks!"
- >SA looks back at you, "Told you."
- "That doesn't count,
- >Turning around, you walk away as SA follows behind, "Where are you going now?"
- "Canterlot"
- >At the palace, Celestia and her guard walk down a hall while you and SA come down the otherside.
- >"Good morning Anonymous, and Shining Armor, what brings you to my castle at such an early hour."
- "Do you fart?"
- >Her entire guard drops their jaws as you stand unflinching. SA covers his face in embarrassment.
- >Celestia laughs in that small, airy tone of amusement, "Why Anon, what ever would bring you to ask me such a question."
- "Shining here is convinced that you guys don't fart."
- >"And "you guys" referring toooo?"
- "Alicorns, you know, princesses."
- >"Ah I see, well, perhaps this is a sign that Shining Armor should pay more attention to his wife. I'm sure he'll be pleasantly surprised to find out more about her. Being close to somep0ny you love, opens up new windows into their lives. And with that, we can learn new things about them. Pay more attention to your wife Shining Armor, the answers your looking for are closer than you realize."
- >With that, her entourage begins waking away with her as you look at them go.
- "SO DO YOU FART OR NOT!?"
- >She looks back at you with a small
- smirk "Absolutly not!" And with that they walk out of sight.
- >"That's two."
- "Shut up. C'mon, Luna's room is nearby."
- >In Luna's room, she sleeps peacefully and mumbles things to herself as you and SA look over her sleeping.
- >SA darts his gaze from left to right nervously, "Oh colt, we're so gonna get arrested for this."
- "Calm down, we're just watching her sleep. People fart in their sleep all the time. After we hear her squeeze one out, we'll go."
- >Continuing looking, Luna smiles widely as she tossed an turns in her sleep. Suddenly, around her crotch area you notice a slight object rising up. Confused, you pay closet attention to it as the shaft like object grows larger, and then lowers.
- "What the hell is that?"
- >"Maybe it's her horn?"
- "Alicorns have a second horn?"
- >"I don't know."
- >Luna giggles a bit and mumbles, "Oh Tiberius."
- "Who the hell is that?"
- >SA shrugs as you see the shaft rise up again.
- "That's it, I'm looking."
- >Lifting the sheet, you're greeted with an opossum. It lunges at you hissing, and bites your nose. screaming and flailing your arms around you try to grab it, and pull it off.
- >It bites down harder, causing blood to shoot out of the two new holes in your nose.
- >At this point SA is freaking out, and runs to the window before jumping out of it.
- >Luna wakes up with a start, and looks around clutching her sheets against her body, "What happened!? What's going on!?"
- >The opossum bites down on your nose as you lay on the floor groaning. Luna comes up to you, and whistles her pet. Letting go, he runs up her leg and rests on her mane, "Excellent work Tiberius. Thou has subdued a sexual deviant after my chastity."
- "Hey Luna, do you fart?"
- >With a sickened sneer, she shakes her head, "A most foul deviant indeed."
- >Back at the crystal empire, SA comes into his chambers, and tiredly walks down a hall.
- >All the while picking glass shards from his skin. Entering a pink bathroom, he walks in on Cadence in a jacuzzi. As the bubbles ripple in the water, he slowly submerged himself in.
- >"Evening sweetie, where have you been all day?"
- "Off on this stupid trip with Anon."
- >"How's he doing?"
- "Not so well last I saw him."
- >He sits in the tub as the water runs, and bubbles bubble. With a deep sigh, he spreads a wet rag on his head, "So how'd the trip go?"
- "I don't even care anymore."
- >"Well if it makes you feel any better, I DO do the same things as you." He looks over at her a little surprised as she smiles and raises a hoof from beneath the water, "I do it all the time to be honest, I'm surprised you never notice."
- "I guess you're just more subtle about it."
- >"Maybe." Turning off the water, the bubbles stop as she gets up and crawls out of the tub, "You coming to bed dear?"
- >SA scoots to where she was and turns on the water.
- "Nah, I'm gonna soak a bit in the tub. I could use the me time."
- >Cadence smiles as she walks, but SA calls out to her.
- "Hey Cadence honey, how do you turn on the bubbles?"
- "Oh that tub doesn't have a bubbles feature."
- >Today was a "everybody poops day
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