Legs

During one of the many journeys coming home from work, I discovered a large gas cloud of smoke emitting from the forest next to my home. Instead of calling the fire deparment like a slightly sane person would do, I decided it was completely necessary to check it out personally. The normal, much safer and comfortable route had been completely overcome with a strange bright green gas, like a giant had eaten too much Indian food the day before, and had released his bowels into the forest, making it smell like an especially unclean horse stable, and cover my preferable way into the city of wood.

My other option was going through the....alternative route. Did you ever have that "one" path, as a child? You know, that one that you were told to never touch or you would never touch the button your TV again? Well that was kind of what Brambley's pass was for me. Brambley's pass was a muddy, dark, and dangerous Roman road, built centuries ago by the local Romans. According to legend, during the final construction days, the centurions began to see apparitions of Pluto himself. Thus the construction of it was halted, and it was never finished. I really really did not want to enter it, but since my brain had already decided on venturing into the leafy maze, I sighed, and headed into the forest.

The sign that once said "Enter with caution", had been completely swamped with vines and weeds, making it a light greenish grey, rather than a bright beige. The whole place reeked of fungus. Most of the trees had been overcome with weeds and mushrooms, almost all of them dead. It was like a tree graveyard. As I slipped and slid through the muddy road, I noticed something shining on the ground. Being careful not to slip over and fall on my face, I bent over and picked it up. But to my utter surprise and dismay, it had been lodged into the ground. It appeared to be a large metal rod. With all my might, I yanked, and soon enough, it flew out, making me fall over onto my back, making it dirty and muddy. I got up, groaning, before picking up the rod again. I held it at the ready, in case anything did decide to show up.

About 15 minutes into the walk, I began to hear noises coming from the right side of the forest. Loud crunching, like someone was stepping on Autumn leaves. I continued to walk, but the sound continued too, moving to the left instead of the right over time. I soon reached a dead end. The smoke plume was now visible, it was more than 3 times the size of me, and it was still growing in size. It was emitting from a large crater which marked the end of the road. I began to approach, my rod in hand, just in case. But just as I was about to enter the crater, something jumped out, landing behind me, making me stumble. I turned around, and I nearly passed out. Right in front of me was a gigantic....wood louse. It was by all definitions a woodlouse. A giant mutant woodlouse. A roar soon followed his landing, letting me see all of his sharp knife sized fangs. Lovely. I wanted to back away, but right behind me was the crater. I had to fight this thing...somehow.

The wood louse continued to scream and stomp, but it seemed frightened by my weapon. But it was so small....

What is scaring it? I looked down, and realized. The rod was continuing to shine, almost brilliantly. It was scared of metal. I lunged forward, swinging the bar, but not aiming to hit him, just scare him. It screamed again, but this time it did not stay away, it opened his mouth and went straight for the weapon, clearly trying to disarm me. I wasn't having any of that. I swung again, this time aiming for his head. A satisfying clang was heard as it hit his chin, knocking him over. He rocked back and forth and his little legs scrambled around, trying to flip himself over. Poor thing. I almost felt sorry for him. I struck again, this time harder, and blood flew out. It stopped struggling, and stopping moving altogether. I bent over, and panted. That was exhausting.

I looked down, in horror of what I had just done. My metal "baton" was completely covered in bright red blood. I'd have to ditch it, or I'd have a very strange conversation with my neighbours and/or the police. I didn't feel like going to prison for murder. The head of the beast was completely smashed open, apparently even giant woodlice were not all that survivable. I looked back at the crater. The smoke was beginning to shrink back into it. I stepped towards the edge of the crater...only to find it was not a crater at all. You see, a crater is not usually very deep, and the bottom of a crater is usually visible. This was a hole. I stepped closer towards the edge. The hole was extremely dark, and it looked very hollow. It smelled like damp. Like the nasty damp that you smell after it rains on tarmac. What was that noise? I crouched down, trying to identify it. A screech, like the one the giant woodlouse made, only louder and with an echo. I had stumbled upon the nest.