Gunbuster 'Kaettekita Kagaku Kouza' English TL

NOTE: This assumes that your video is the same as my video, that is, both of the new science lessons are a single video and not separate. If yours are separate, your timecodes are not going to match this script. You've been warned!

Oh, and fuck if I'm translating the credits. Kanji names can suck it.

00:05
We're Back!
TOP wo Nerae!
Science Course
(Noriko and Kazumi read the title aloud)

00:11
Title: New Episode 1 "On Orbital Elevators and Orbital Ropeways"
Noriko: Hi there! Buster Machine #1's pilot, Noriko Takaya here!

00:18
Kazumi: The same, pilot of #2 and #3, Kazumi Amane Oota here.

00:22
Noriko: Man... I never thought this series of Science Courses would ever return!

The on-screen icons here are silly and unimportant but if you really want to typeset them, here they are from left to right:
Mail, Calendar, Address Book, Settings
Notes, Movies, Videos, Oota

00:29
Noriko: All my older friends on the other side of the TV, have you been doing well!?

00:34
Kazumi: Haven't half of them already reached the end of their lifetimes?

00:36
Noriko: Ahahahaha... Well, in any case, today's Science Course is on the Orbital Elevator--or no, the Orbital Escalator! No, that isn't it either... IT'S ABOUT THE ORBITAL ROPEWAY!

00:48
On-screen here is a shot from the series, of course. The upper-right corner is simply the indicator for 'B&W' used in-series on some of Gunbuster's displays. It literally is just an on-screen indicator showing that the image is being displayed in grayscale. The title behind Noriko, same as in-series, is 'Primary Orbital Ropeway Station'.

00:51
Kazumi: Calm down, Noriko.

00:52
Noriko: I-I'm sorry.

00:54
Kazumi: The Orbital Ropeway is what I rode on from the planetary base in Hawaii, yes?

00:59
Noriko: You used it to get all the way to the space station "Meridian Star" wasn't it? Scientific progress sure is amazing!

01:06
Noriko: Back when I went to OkiJo I had to take a shuttle into space but now you can just leisurely take the ropeway up can't you!

01:13
Kazumi: Though if you maintain that speed it'll take quite a long time to actually get there.

01:16
Noriko: Eh? Is that so?

01:19
Woo boy, the start of on-screen text rape. The upper-right box is 'Simple Diagram'. The satellite is labeled 'Satellite in Geosynchronous Orbit'. The middle distance is labeled 'Roughly 36000km'. The red box is labeled 'Orbital Elevator'.

Kazumi: Satellites in geosynchronous orbit maintain an altitude of 36000 kilometers. Even if you travelled at 200 kilometers per hour it would take you a week to cover that distance!

01:25
Noriko: EHHHHHHH!?

01:26
The on-screen text here is pretty much the same as before, but the white text bubble changes from 'slow' to 'fast' and finally to 'stopped'.

Kazumi: That's why as soon as the car reaches the thinner parts of the atmosphere it continues to accelerate. By the halfway point after reaching a speed of over 60,000 kilometers per hour it then starts to decelerate.

01:36
Noriko: I see! So it starts off trickling then gets going in spurts is it?
TL NOTE: This is a colloquialism in Japanese which I'm not actually familiar with. Noriko is quoting the traditional phrasing for how one cooks proper delicious rice. There's no real 'translation' for it so I honestly don't know how to phrase it in a way that makes sense in English.

01:41
Kazumi: Rather, that's how you cook rice is it not?

01:43
Noriko: But why do you have to climb to an altitude of 36000 kilometers?

01:47
Oota: YOU GODDAMNED MORON!!!

01:50
Noriko: Coach!
Kazumi: Dear!!

01:52
Oota: Takaya. You don't even know that!? How did you graduate from OkiJo, GODDAMMIT!?

01:58
Noriko: Well, you know, while we were out in space time passed us by and in all the confusion...

02:04
Oota: NO MAKING EXCUSES!!!

02:05
Noriko: Right! My apologies, Coach!

02:08
The rotational speed of any celestial body circling another celestial body depends on the mass and distance of the two bodies. To put it simply, in the Earth's case at a distance of 36000 kilometers an artificial satellite will have the same rotational speed as the Earth itself.

Again, the on screen distance is 'roughly 36000km'

02:24
Noriko: Huh...

02:25
The onscreen text is 'Geosynchronous Satellite' and 'Roughly 36000km'

Kazumi: Because of this, if you looked at the satellite from the Earth it would appear as if this artificial satellite were always stopped in the same place. That's why they're called geo-synchronous satellites.

02:33
Noriko: Like how two cars travelling at the same speed look stopped to one another, right!?

02:38
Kazumi: That's exactly it! So, if you were to drop cords down from that satellite to the Earth...

02:40
On screen text is 'Simple Diagram' in upper-right, 'Satellite in Geosynchronous Orbit' over the satellite, and then when the cords touch down it says 'COMPLETE'. The two kanji on the award over Noriko read 'CONGRATS'

02:44
Noriko: ...that's how you make an Orbital Elevator!

02:46
Kazumi: Precisely. However, a normal orbital elevator can only be constructed around the equator.

02:52
Noriko: Why's that?

02:54
Kazumi: Think about it! If you moved away from the equator the lines connecting the satellite to the ground wouldn't be able to remain vertical!

03:00
Noriko: Eh? Eh, but the ropeway coming from Hawaii isn't...

03:04
Kazumi: Within the cables for the Orbital Ropeway is a gravity manipulation system based around a micro black hole.

03:11
Kazumi: That maintains the balance of gravity as well as the tensile strength of the cable, allowing any location on Earth to connect to a central elevator platform around the equator.

03:20
Kazumi: Right now it seems there are plans to build one in Okinawa as well!

03:24
Noriko: Ehhh!? To even be able to control gravity, humanity's scientific progress truly is astounding isn't it!

03:28
Noriko: But if you can do all that, why not just float using anti-gravity--

03:33
Oota: YOU MORON!! 'Anti-gravity' and 'floating' what's that about!? 'Floating' you say!?

03:37
Oota: What's the point of thinking such things lacking in guts and determination!?

03:42
Noriko: Right! My apologies, Coach!

03:44
Oota: Takaya! No matter how much time has passed you haven't progressed one bit!

03:48
Noriko: I'll reflect on that!

03:50
Noriko: ...Wait, ehhhh!? If you think about it, hasn't Coach already passed away...?

03:54
Oota: Furthermore, this video was recorded with the assumption that following my death you both would still continue the tradition of the Science Courses as you always have.

04:02
Oota: I pray that you and the entire Galactic Center Assault Fleet have a swift and resistanceless victory.

04:09
Noriko: EHHHHHH!? I-It was recorded...!?

04:10
Kazumi: As expected of you, my dear! Your cut-in timings were perfect!

04:15
Oota: ALL THAT MATTERS IS GUTS AND DETERMINATION!!

04:18
Noriko: N...No way...

4:21
Both: See you again~!
The on-screen text says the same thing.

========OH GOD GENERAL RELATIVITY IN JAPANESE FML======

05:13
We're Back!
TOP wo Nerae!
Science Course
(Noriko and Kazumi read the title aloud)

05:22
Title: New Episode 2 "On The Core of the Milky Way and Black Holes"

05:23
Noriko: Hi there! Takaya here!

05:25
Kazumi: Oota here.

05:26
Noriko: Man, that recorded video of Coach last time around sure was surprising, wasn't it!

05:31
Kazumi: They say that life is a series of surprising events, don't they?

05:35
Noriko: Eh...hahaha. Speaking of a series of surprising events, while we were traveling from the center of the Milky Way galaxy back to Earth a super long amount of time passed and it surprised me a lot!

05:45
Upper-right corner is the B&W indicator again. The text from the episode is 'Buster Machine #3 (BHB)'.

05:45
Since we were right next to the explosion of Buster Machine #3, the supermassive black hole bomb, we got caught up in the time dilation effect while escaping its gravity well.

05:57
Noriko: Eh!? Is...is that really why? Isn't time dilation because of the Urashima Effect when you're traveling at relativistic speeds...?

06:06
Kazumi: You're referring to Special Relativity. There's one other Theory of Relativity, you know.

06:12
Noriko: There's another!?

06:13
The subtitle reads 'Theory of Special Relativity'

Kazumi: According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, the more an object accelerates, the slower time will appear to move for an observer on that object. That's the Urashima Effect.

06:22
Title reads 'Theory of General Relativity'

Kazumi: However, within the other Theory of General Relativity, those accelerating within a strong gravity well will observe an even greater time dilation effect than those accelerating within a weaker gravity well.

06:34
Noriko: H-Heeeh...I see...

06:36
Kazumi: What the Theory of General Relativity reveals to us is this, the Einstein Field Equation. The left side represents the curvature of spacetime while the right side represents the distribution of mass.

06:46
Kazumi: As a result of changing the distribution of mass of an object, the curvature of spacetime is concurrently warped, and the distribution of mass in the next instant is determined by that very warping.

06:55
Okay, this whole part is sped up, but I sped it down to understandable speed in an audio editor so I could translate the whole thing. How you want to deal with it is up to you but here you go, the full translation of her sped-up speech. Stupid-ass Noriko.

Kazumi: In the event that the right-side stress–energy–momentum tensor increases, of course, one would postulate that the left side of the equation would need to increase in an equal way. This is what is meant by the increase in spacetime curvature. According to Einstein's explanation, gravity is little more than a bend in spacetime, so therefore an increase in the bend of spacetime represents an increase in gravity.

07:05
Kazumi: Within the vicinity of the core of the Milky Way galaxy where we fought, it's said that a supermassive black hole with the gravitational force many tens of thousands more powerful than our sun exists. As a result of the Black Hole Bomb we used its effects most likely increased by yet hundreds more times. If we weren't careful we could have been caught by it and been trapped for all eternity.

07:27
Noriko: Uwah! I'm so glad we made it back to Earth!

07:31
Kazumi: Though 12,000 years did go by in the meantime. I wonder what's become of mankind since then?

07:33
Title: 12,000 YEARS LATER

07:37
Noriko: That's a good question. I was really happy about that 'Welcome Home' sign they put up, but the character at the end was all wrong after all!

07:44
Kazumi: I like to think of it as Jung never forgetting about the promise she made to us back then.

07:48
Noriko: I think so too.

07:50
Kazumi: Though by now Jung would be long dead and there's no guarantee that humanity would look the same way they did 12,000 years ago.

07:56
Noriko: Y-You don't think something like only their heads got big, or their arms and legs ended up like an octopus...

08:03
Noriko: ...Or that they don't even have a real body anymore do you!?

08:06
Kazumi: ...Noriko. As always you're never lacking in the imagination department, are you?

08:10
Oota: YOU MORON!!!

08:12
Kazumi: Dear!!

08:13
Noriko: Uweh... Coach's recorded video again...?

08:17
Oota: Don't the two of you believe in humanity's sense of self!?

08:21
Noriko: I'm sorry, Coach. But since you died 12,000 years have gone by! It's not like Coach knows what happened to humanity either...

08:29
Oota: DOSUKOOOOOOOOOOI
TL Note: Just a generic sumo shout. I'd leave it as-is but your mileage may vary.

08:33
Oota: If they have guts and determination a human can be revived even if they're long dead!

08:38
Noriko: ...EHHHHHHHHHH!?

08:40
Kazumi: Dear...!

08:41
Oota: Kazumi. I've caused you such trouble.

08:43
Kazumi: That's not true at all...

08:45
Noriko: C-C-C-C-Coach, what the...!?

08:47
Oota: Thanks to advances in the sciences I have been successfully resurrected.

08:50
Noriko: That's amazing, Coach!!

08:53
Oota: Well, my body ended up like this, though.

08:55
Both: HYAAAAAA!!

08:58
Oota: Just kidding.

08:59
Kazumi: Oh Dear, you're such a... ki-dd-er!

09:03
Oota: Humans need guts and determination...and a good sense of humor.

09:10
Both: Bye-bye!

The text reads 'The End'