On Troll romance in Homestuck

<p>Troll romance is substantially more confusing than its human counterpart. Humans have, at the core of it, one concept of romance. It has many variations and distinctions, but it all boils down to one concept: love. However, Troll romance is a lot more complicated. In fact, Troll romance has four distinct parts, or "quadrants". The quadrants are laid out on a grid, typically. Like so:</p>
<p>&hearts; &diams;<br />
&clubs; &spades;</p>
<p>The left half of the grid deals with relationships which are "concupiscent", and thus tied to the reproductive cycle. The right side deals with those which are "concilatory", and are more like platonic relationships, by human standards. The top half is "redrom". These are strong positive feelings. The bottom half, "blackrom", is tied to the strongly negative.</p>
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<p>Firstly we will examine <b>the "flushed" quadrant</b>. This is the top-left one, and so it is a concupiscent, red romance.</p>
<p>Those who enter this quadrant together are described as "matesprits". The relationship is a "matespritship". Simple enough.</p>
<p>This is the closest to human romance. It's even represented with the same symbol. <3. A bright red is the color associated with this quadrant.</p>
<p>There isn't much to explain about this quadrant, really. Moving on.</p>
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<p>The next quadrant is <b>the "calignous" quadrant</b>.</p>
<p>Those who are in this quadrant are "kismeses", singular "kismesis". The relationship is a "kismessitude". The symbol is a spade, <3<, and its associated color is black.</p>
<p>This one has no reasonable human equivalent, and is therefore the hardest for us to understand. While Trolls will always have their minor disagreements, there are naturally some that are more promient than others. Ideally, there would be one that stood out as a shining beacon of hate. If both parties hate each other enough, their relationship would be a kismessitude.</p>
<p>However, there is also some element of attraction to a kismessitude, to make it a viable reproductive pairing. The closest human equivalent would be that of some sort of angry, violent hatesex.</p>
<p>Also of note is that the hatred cannot be too strong. If it's too strong, it would go beyond kismessitude, and become simple platonic hate. And it's all too easy to fall out of kismessitude and into platonic hatred too. Obviously hatred is no good, because then you just want to kill each other! That wouldn't be very useful for the Drone.All in all, a hard one to pin down, but I do think Holiday and Black Knight have got it pretty much perfect.</p>
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<p>There's another nuance to the concupiscent quadrants.</p>
<p>Sometimes, one party will have red feelings, while the other will have black. This is a condition humans might recognize: having one you dislike crushing on you, or crushing on who dislikes you.</p>
<p>Generally, in such a situation, one party's attraction will change to match the other, since no quadrant exists naturally to hold such a disparacy. However, thereafter, their feelings may occasionally flip from red to black, or black to red, in unison.</p>
<p>This kind of relationship is one that has a clear and present need for an auspistice, since the result otherwise would be infidelity with either one's red or black partner. In this case, the auspistice will either keep the relationship on the red side - if at least one partner already has a kismesis - or, should they have a matesprit, the auspistice will simply defuse the relationship altogether.</p>
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<p>The next quadrant is <b>the "pale" quadrant</b>. The top-right one, this is a concilatory redrom.</p>
<p>Those who have this relationship are called "moirails". The relationship is a "moiraillegeance". Its symbol is a diamond, <>, and its associated color is pale pink.</p>
<p>This is another hard one to draw a comparison for in human terms, actually. The closest concept would be like a soul mate, but more platonic.</p>
<p>Trolls are a very violent and hot-blooded race, and some will be even more so than others. Some are so much so that, if left to their own devices, they would pose a danger to themself or others. Trolls who are this dangerous - generally of a higher blood caste, by the way, since higher castes are commonly more aggressive - will instinctively find themselves drawn to a calmer Troll, usually of a lower caste. The two will balance one another out. The highblood finds themselves calmed and pacified, while the lowblood gains protection and some measure of increased confidence.</p>
<p>Moiraillegeance is a tough relationship to have. Oftentimes, one party will have deeper red feelings than the other, and it can lead to some confusion as to whether their relationship is moiraillegeance or matespritship. In fact, it is common for normal friendship to be mistaken for moiraillegeance! The distinction is a fine one.</p>
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<p>The final quadrant is <b>the "ashen" quadrant</b>. This fills the bottom-right corner, and is a concilatory blackrom.</p>
<p>The ashen quadrant is something of an oddity. It is represented as clubs, c3<. Its associated color is grey. This is the only three-way relationship within a quadrant! An interesting one.</p>
<p>As mentioned earlier, there are a lot of squabbles between Trolls. However, ideally only one of these would be a full-fledged kismessitude; polygamy, within the quadrants at least, is frowned upon.</p>
<p>Therefore, when two parties are locked into a minor squabble and don't want it to turn into full kismessitude, they can call on a third party to intervene. This person, the auspistice", will mediate between the parties, settling down the argument as best they can. This is a process known as "auspisticizing", the relationship an "auspisticeship".</p>
<p>This can lead to a host of problems, though, if the auspistice does not care enough about mediation, or indeed has different romantic inclinations altogether for one of the parties. If this is the case, it could well dissolve into some other relationship, and thus lead to complications. However, for all their troubles, auspistices are essential: they help stop minor disagreements from causing major calignous infidelity, or even from becoming platonic hate.</p>
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<p>Trolls have a strong emphasis on finding people to fill at least their flushed and calignous quadrants with. You will notice these as the two concupiscent quadrants.</p>
<p>At some point, each Troll will be paid a visit by <a href="http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/02396.gif">an Imperial Drone</a>. This occurs during adulthood, so the Trolls have their adolescense to find someone to settle down with.</p>
<p>The Drone carries with him two Filial Pails. (This, incidentally, causes buckets to be highly sexualized objects in Troll culture; if you have ever seen a Homestuck fan making a joke about buckets, this is why.) One has a heart insignia; the other, a spade. When he visits a Troll, they must be able to supply the genetic material of the appropriate quadrant within a reasonable timeframe. That is, you get to wait for them to return if they're out, but you can't go out and find someone. Anyone who cannot supply the genetic material is culled on the spot.</p>
<p>The Drone will take these pails, filled with genetic material, back to the Brooding Caverns, wherein lies the Mother Grub. She will mix together all the material she is given - something only she can do - and use the resulting genetic slurry to spawn eggs, which will hatch into wrigglers. Little larvae, they're <a href="http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/04065_2.gif">quite adorable</a>.</p>
<p>However, this mixing does not mean that the initial pairing was meaningless! While the Drone would technically accept the genetic material of a fling just as much as he would a lifelong relationship, some genes will rise to the forefront in the slurry. These are the ones which were produced by particularly strong Kismessitudes or Matespritships. Therefore, a stronger relationship means more chance of passing on your DNA. Troll reproduction sure is weird, isn't it!</p>
<p>Like humans - but fourfold - a Troll adolescence is filled with confusion and experimentation, testing out the waters of each quadrant, trying to find their future concupiscent partners and, pretty much, just trying to figure out what on Alternia is going on. Being confused by Troll relationships is one thing we share with them though!</p>