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zombie's wild ride

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Jun 5th, 2014
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  1. [7:15:04 AM] thatguyzombie: you guys will not
  2. [7:15:04 AM] thatguyzombie: believe
  3. [7:15:07 AM] thatguyzombie: the night i have had
  4. [7:15:09 AM] thatguyzombie: holy fuck man
  5. [7:15:21 AM] James: tell us~
  6. [7:16:10 AM] Zoam: what happened zombiekun~
  7. [7:16:39 AM] thatguyzombie: oh boy
  8. [7:16:43 AM] thatguyzombie: i dont know where to begin
  9. [7:16:46 AM] thatguyzombie: so here goes
  10. [7:16:54 AM] thatguyzombie: so like yesterday afternoon
  11. [7:16:57 AM] thatguyzombie: i found a guy on craigslist
  12. [7:17:02 AM] thatguyzombie: few years older than me, decent body
  13. [7:17:09 AM] thatguyzombie: we ended up meeting up at like midnight
  14. [7:17:20 AM] thatguyzombie: we went into the back of my mom's crossover
  15. [7:17:25 AM] thatguyzombie: like it was just parked on the street
  16. [7:17:40 AM] thatguyzombie: and we started sucking each other's dicks
  17. [7:17:47 AM] thatguyzombie: which was pretty cool not gonna lie
  18. [7:17:47 AM] Zoam: OH MY (cat)
  19. [7:17:50 AM] James: no homo?
  20. [7:17:53 AM] thatguyzombie: so we were doing that for a bit
  21. [7:18:39 AM] Jesper: h o t
  22. [7:18:41 AM] thatguyzombie: so he started licking my ass a little bit
  23. [7:18:49 AM] thatguyzombie: then he started wiggling a finger in there
  24. [7:18:54 AM] thatguyzombie: and i came like a volcano
  25. [7:19:08 AM] thatguyzombie: anyways we talked for a little while we got dressed and he told me to hit him up again if i wanted more
  26. [7:19:13 AM] thatguyzombie: and then i drove home
  27. [7:19:15 AM] thatguyzombie: in silence
  28. [7:19:16 AM] thatguyzombie: anyways
  29. [7:19:20 AM] Zoam: A G O D
  30. [7:19:23 AM] thatguyzombie: later that night i was back on craigslist and grindr
  31. [7:19:27 AM] thatguyzombie: because i felt like gambling
  32. [7:19:31 AM] thatguyzombie: i actually had like
  33. [7:19:40 AM] thatguyzombie: 3-4 nice looking guys i coulda hooked up with but no one could host
  34. [7:19:41 AM] Jesper: i need to move to america jesus
  35. [7:19:48 AM] thatguyzombie: anyways i responded to another CL ad
  36. [7:20:01 AM] thatguyzombie: older guy, looked like a decent body, had a nice looking house to host
  37. [7:20:10 AM] thatguyzombie: so i was like eh ill give it a shot who knows
  38. [7:20:18 AM] thatguyzombie: so we talk a bit, he asks me what i like, etc etc
  39. [7:20:23 AM] thatguyzombie: so flash forward to like an hour ago
  40. [7:20:27 AM] thatguyzombie: i head out the door to find his place
  41. [7:20:29 AM] thatguyzombie: hes like 5 minutes away
  42. [7:20:41 AM] thatguyzombie: its on some weird private road so its hard to find him at first
  43. [7:20:45 AM] thatguyzombie: anyways i finally get there
  44. [7:20:49 AM] thatguyzombie: he tells me to walk into a trailer
  45. [7:20:54 AM] Jesper: uh oh
  46. [7:20:57 AM] thatguyzombie: i walk into the closest one and its just like empty right
  47. [7:21:09 AM] thatguyzombie: and he calls me again and hes like uhhh you went in the wrong trailer didnt you
  48. [7:21:25 AM] thatguyzombie: so then he gives me some directions and i cross the little road to this house over the way
  49. [7:21:29 AM] thatguyzombie: its like hella hippy looking man
  50. [7:21:40 AM] thatguyzombie: wind chimes everywhere, stained glass everything, potted plants everywhere
  51. [7:21:54 AM] thatguyzombie: so i walk into the back of the lot and theres a brown trailer covered in a huge tarp
  52. [7:21:59 AM] thatguyzombie: the door is cracked open and i walk inside
  53. [7:22:10 AM] thatguyzombie: its like almost pitch black, reeks of cigarettes, trash and shit everywhere
  54. [7:22:28 AM] thatguyzombie: i barely see his silhouette lying under the covers of the bed in the back
  55. [7:22:34 AM] thatguyzombie: he tells me to sit down next to him
  56. [7:22:39 AM] thatguyzombie: hes watching some gay porn shit on a tablet
  57. [7:22:47 AM] thatguyzombie: so im sitting there fully clothed next to this like
  58. [7:22:56 AM] thatguyzombie: mid-late 40 year old dude
  59. [7:23:02 AM] thatguyzombie: whos naked under the covers and groping himself
  60. [7:23:06 AM] thatguyzombie: he starts asking me shit like
  61. [7:23:16 AM] thatguyzombie: "how long have you liked boys?"
  62. [7:23:23 AM] thatguyzombie: "have you ever done anything with another guy?"
  63. [7:23:30 AM] Zoam: wtf lol
  64. [7:23:40 AM] thatguyzombie: (of course i lied because i didnt want him knowing i just 69d some dude in the back of my mom's car like 5 hours earlier)
  65. [7:23:47 AM] thatguyzombie: and he keeps asking these questions
  66. [7:23:52 AM] thatguyzombie: his breath reeks of cigarettes
  67. [7:23:59 AM] James: [7:23 AM] thatguyzombie:
  68.  
  69. <<< (of course i lied because i didnt want him knowing i just 69d some dude in the back of my mom's car like 5 hours earlier)HAHAHAHA
  70. [7:24:02 AM] James: only in this chat
  71. [7:24:03 AM] James: man
  72. [7:24:06 AM] James: 10/10
  73. [7:24:11 AM] thatguyzombie: hes significantly chubbier than his pictures led me to believe
  74. [7:24:23 AM] thatguyzombie: voice sounds like shit because hes obviously been smoking for like 30 years
  75. [7:24:25 AM] thatguyzombie: so im sitting there
  76. [7:24:30 AM] thatguyzombie: growing more and more scared
  77. [7:24:35 AM] thatguyzombie: of this guy whipping out his dick
  78. [7:24:40 AM] thatguyzombie: and trying to get me to blow him
  79. [7:24:48 AM] thatguyzombie: he keeps asking me weird questions
  80. [7:24:57 AM] thatguyzombie: goes on some rant about guys on craigslist only wanting their dicks sucked
  81. [7:25:07 AM] thatguyzombie: started asking me if ive had my first kiss with a guy....
  82. [7:25:16 AM] thatguyzombie: and then i just sit up and put my hands on my face and say
  83. [7:25:23 AM] thatguyzombie: "i dont think i can go through with this, sorry"
  84. [7:25:30 AM] thatguyzombie: thankfully he was cool about it
  85. [7:25:37 AM] thatguyzombie: he was like "oh thats ok man i understand"
  86. [7:25:43 AM] thatguyzombie: so i started leaving
  87. [7:25:44 AM] Zoam: im glad you noped the fuck out of there
  88. [7:25:46 AM] thatguyzombie: and he was like
  89. [7:26:00 AM] thatguyzombie: "oh if my roommate sees you, tell him you saw my ad on craigslist about the plasma tv"
  90. [7:26:07 AM] Zoam: LOL wtf
  91. [7:26:09 AM] thatguyzombie: and i was like "yeah no problem, take care"
  92. [7:26:11 AM] thatguyzombie: and left
  93. [7:26:16 AM] thatguyzombie: i walked outside into the sunlight
  94. [7:26:18 AM] thatguyzombie: and just like
  95. [7:26:21 AM] thatguyzombie: felt the breeze on my face
  96. [7:26:26 AM] thatguyzombie: took a deep breathe
  97. [7:26:30 AM] Zoam: 10/10 serial killer
  98. [7:26:31 AM] thatguyzombie: i was shaking so hard
  99. [7:26:34 AM] thatguyzombie: my heart was racing
  100. [7:26:37 AM] thatguyzombie: i felt like i had to vomit
  101. [7:26:45 AM] thatguyzombie: walked to my car and just drove home
  102. [7:26:49 AM] thatguyzombie: feeling like
  103. [7:26:50 AM] Jesper: yeah dude that guy was ready to drug you
  104. [7:26:52 AM] thatguyzombie: a disgusting piece of shit
  105. [7:26:55 AM] thatguyzombie: i really
  106. [7:27:00 AM] thatguyzombie: feel awful now
  107. [7:27:04 AM] thatguyzombie: like physically ill
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