Slav Anon and Sunset Shimmer

OP Post:

>Anon, why are you such an asshole! You never show up to school, and when you do, you're either ignoring everyone or you're a complete jerk. Can't you tell that me and the girls are trying to change you for the better!
You are anon, you fucking hate this school and all the fags here. Which is why lunch time is great so you can sit alone in peace. But today Sunshitshitter ruined your peace by yelling at you like a house wife infront of everyone.
>What do Anons?

---

Story

>You pause, everyone is staring in silence, you slowly stand from your squatting position
"Oi! Can you not see I am of eating the shashlik!"
>Sunset Shimmer rolls her eyes
>"Just because you're an exchange student from Slavistan doesn't mean you get to act like this Anon"
>You are upset, this is the only time of day you're allowed to squat
>Apparently, you're only able to 'sit' in chairs at this school
"Why is Sonset always be interrupting of Anon during squat time, cyka blyat!"
>You reach into your pocket, withdrawing sunflower seeds, and toss them at Sunset
>The sunflower seeds hit her jacket, not even phasing her
>"See! Just like that Anon. Throwing sunflower seeds, blasing that 'hard bass', getting into fights, the list goes on!"
"Ha! Nyet, Sonset must of be living under rock, in Slavistan it is everyday activities"
>"You think I'm going to buy that excuse? You know what Anon, out of all the foreign exchange students we've had; you're the worst"
>There's an awkward silence in the cafeteria
>This statement upset you greatly
"Oh look at me: 'I be Sonset Shimmar here who be tellings of character' blyat, did babushka forget to pack lunch for you or are you always of upset every day?"
>"Anon... Just..."
>Sunset shakes her head
>"We're just trying to help you Anon, every day you always squat in the back of the cafeteria or spout insults at people. I just want to help you, everyone needs a friend Anon"
>You stare at Sunset, crossing your arms, with her basically saying she wants to be your 'friend'
>Sergei and Ivan back home were friends, Sunset however? She probably couldn't even squat
"Well... Eh..."
>You figure being Sunsets 'friend' might be worth a try, there's nothing better to do anyway
"Alright, Sonset, I will try being friend. Now, if you be excusing of me"
>You slide your feet apart at shoulder length, then squat.

-

>It's been 3 weeks from that day, and though you've gone through some rough patches; you consider them friends
>Twilight doesn't bother you much, she just reads her books
>Fluttershy doesn't talk to you much
>Pinkie Pie likes you, though she just laughs at everything you say, probably because she doesn't understand you. Probably because your English is a little too good
>Applejack is from the country, like your father; though she doesn't grow potatoes
>Rarity just talks about how your Adidas tracksuit is 'drab' or 'unfashionable' but she doesn't know that a Slav's power comes from his tracksuit, she likes your ushanka though
>Rainbow Dash always talks about sports, so you tried teaching her the Slavic sports of drinking vodka and professional squatting. She wasn't very interested
>Sunset Shimmer has at least opened up to you more, you've talked much about your home country to her more
>You've been more open now, hating everything in this country less than before

>You've met outside after school. You find yourself squatting next to Sunset Shimmer who was sitting next to the big horse statue
"And then I said 'is this a mint cigarette? What are you, gay?' and then I punched him in the face"
>"That's an... Interesting story Anon..."
>You two sit (and squat) in silence for a few minutes
>"You know, Anon..."
>Sunset turns towards you
>"I've misjudged you, I've learned a lot from you and your culture"
"Da, is no problem"
>"I'm happy you warmed up to everyone at school"
"Net, school is still terrible, country is bad, can't wait to back home to Slavistan"
>Sunset shoots a puzzled, but angry look at you
>"Really? After all this Anon, you're still the jerk I confronted in that cafeteria?!"
>She crosses her arms, starring daggers at you
"I am not of disliking you Sonset"
>She rolls her eyes, looking away from you letting out a heavy sigh
>You murmur 'Blyad' under your breath
>You didn't mean to make her mad

-

>You take off your track jacket, revealing your Adidas t-shirt underneath
"Here, is now yours"
>You put the track jacket around Sunset Shimmer
>"But Anon, you just told me this is the source of your Slav power"
"Net, the Adidas is only overpriced jacket, true Slav power comes from within. Take jacket, it remind you of Anon and give you strength of Slav"
>"I don't... I don't know what to say Anon"
"Is no need to say anything"
>Sunset Reaches into her bag, withdrawing a book with a red and yellow sun on the cover
>"Anon, I don't have anything to give you, but I want to show you this; I've been where you have, and in the end I've learned about the magic of friendship. Here, these are some of my messages I've written to, and this is going to sound crazy, a princess from another universe"
>She hands you the book
>You open it up and flip through the pages, skimming through it but not really reading through it because written English still doesn't make that much sense to you
"Da, is very... Inspiring... Lots of... Good words"
>You hand the book back to Sunset Shimmer
"So, Anon will meet printsessa of good times?"
>"Well, I haven't be able to get in contact with her recently..."
>She stuffs the book back in her bag and stands up
>"It's been great Anon, I'll see you around tomorrow"
"Da"
>Sunset began to walk home, you decided to squat next to the statue for a little longer
"Is good"
>You hear a noise next to you, like the sound of a man stepping on broken vodka bottles with boots
"Who be making the crackling noise?"
>You quickly stand up and begin investigating the sound
>The sound appears to be coming from the side of the statue next to you, the shiny metal has begun to shimmer
"Ah! Problem found, is too clean"
>You reach into your pocket and pull out a handful of sunflower seeds, spit into your hand, and throw the spit wadded seeds into the mirror
>Once they make contact, they suddenly disappear
"Oi! Statue take sunflower seeds!"

-

>You roll up your t-shirt sleeves, and push back your ushanka
"Is looking for fight? You get ass kicked now"
>You run and punch the statue, but in the process you fly through it and down a spiraling hole
"This is not how I be thinking I diiiie!"
>Your ejected from the fall into a weird chamber room, you feel a light tingling sensation, but otherwise everything is normal
"Well, is good trip, but is time to go back"
>You turn around to face the portal
>A door suddenly swings open
>"Halt"
>A pony wearing golden armor stands at the ajar door, holding a spear in his hoof
"Oh blyad, is still weird country"
>"Don't move! You're trespassing in the Princesses castle!"
>Princess? Sunset said she was trying to get in contact with a princess, if you find the princess and bring her back to Sunset, then you can show her the power and determination of Slav power
"Oi! Smol horse! You be taking me to printsessa"
>"Uh, no, you're coming with me"
>You respond with some Slav-fu, flailing your arms and legs to beat him up before he can even swing his spear
"Ha, you talk the trash you get the smack"

>You've found your way out of the castle using a nearby window, and have walked, squatted, and cossack kicked around the city to find your way to the Princess
>The passers by keep saying stuff like 'look at that creature!' and 'what is that?' and 'how is he able to squat and kick his legs at the same time?'
>But one pony was immediately entranced once laying eyes upon you
>"No way!" a mint green pony blurts out
>Unlike the other ponies, she runs right up to you
>"Sweet Celesta! No way! I thought humans were just a myth!"
>You squat down next to make eye contact with the pony
"Hello little horse, I am Anon, full time Slav and Shashlik King"
>She extends a hoof forward, and you shake it
>"I'm Lyra, Lyra Heartstrings"
"Do you know where printsessa of the friendships is? I must find for Sonset Shimmar"
>"Princess Twilight?... I know where she is"
"Blin on a plate! Take me to at once!"

-

>"Well, it's kinda far from here Anon, I traveled here by train"
"Hmm..."
>This posed to be a problem, but a solution came to mind
"Come little horse, we go get Slavmobile, drive through portal"
>"I don't even know what that is, sounds fun!"
>You pick up Lyra and run back towards the castle, climbing back through the window
>The guard you faced last time stood by the door, holding an ice pack on his head
>"Hey! You again! Stop! You're under arrest!"
"Nyet! Be shutting of your face!"
>You run up and kick him right in the face, causing him to go flying through the portal
"Now we of be going Lyre, hold onto Anon"
>You jump through the portal, spiraling back towards your world
>You exit out on the other side still holding the pony Lyra
>However, on all fours, was a human wearing the gold plated armor
>"Whats... Whats going on?"
"Shut up Cyka!"
>You run up and kick him in the stomach, then throw him back through the portal
>Lyra looks at her hooves, then looks at you
>"So wait... If he changed into a human, why didn't I?"
"Slav power protects Anon"
>You pick Lyra back up and run back to your boarding house, parked in the driveway was the Slavmobile: a 1996 Golf Mk3
"Now Lyre horse, let us ride"

-

>You drive the Slavmobile strait through Twilight's doors, smashing through both, causing you to come to a hard stop
"Is this right place?"
>Lyra is completely tangled up in the seat belt from the crash
>"...Yeah"
>You step out of the car and walk down the hall
>A light purple pony with a blue streak suddenly jumps out at you from a hallway
>She quickly shoots a magic blast at you, but you respond with a handful of sunflower seeds to intercept the shot
>As the sunflower seeds collide with the magic you grab your vodka bottle with your other hand and toss it at her head
>The bottle smacks her right above the eye, knocking her out instantly
>+300 XP
>You walk into the main foyer, with a purple alicorn stood, holding a frying pan and ready to strike
>"Wait a minute..."
>The alicorn lowered her frying pan
>"You're... A human..."
"Yes, I be coming to get printsessa for Sonset Shimmar"
>"Sunset Shimmer needs help?"
"Let us just be going now"
>"...Ok?"
>You take Twilight back to the Slavmobile, she sits in the back seat with Lyra still occupying the passenger seat
>Lyra looks at Twilight as she gets in the car
>"Oh, uh, hey Twilight. How are you?"

-

>You drive back through the portal
>"Wait, hold on just a minute!"
>Twilight looks at herself, still in pony form
>"Your machine must have tampered with the portal, go back!"
"Nyet, Anon came all this way for printsessa, is too late to go back"
>You shift the Slavmobile into high gear and hit the gas as you speed down the road towards Sunset's house
"We are here now!"
>The sun was beginning to rise as you quickly hopped out of the Slavmobile
>You run to the passenger side and pick up Twilight, you put her under one arm as you run up to Sunset's door
>You raise your arm to knock on the door, but before you can it swings open
>Sunset stood there, backpack slung over one shoulder
>"Anon?"
"Sonset, it is Anon, I wanted to show you true meaning of Slav strength and bring you printsessa"
>You hold Twilight up with both arms
>"Um... Hi Sunset... This is... Kinda weird"
>Sunset looks at you, then looks at Twilight, then takes Twilight from your hands
>"Well, thank you Anon, this was really kind of you to do all this"
"Is no problem, is what comrades do"
>"You know Anon, I learned an important lesson from you; friendship is not just about trying to change someone, it's about accepting who they are, even if they're a little strange"
"Ha! Ha ha!"
>You slap your knee
"Is funny joke Sonset, I go home now, get ready for school"
>You walk back over to the Slavmobile
"Oh, and Sonset, Lyre horse said she want to live with Anon now"
>Twilight facehooves
>You drive back home, playing hard bass out your car speakers, with Lyra sitting in the passenger seat
"Lyre horse"
>"Yeah?"
"I'm going to skip school today and play Counter Strike"

The end.