A letter after last night

I figured out I was gay sometime when I was a teenager. Growing up in rural Utah, this wasn't exactly an easy thing; the predominant religion taught that being gay was a major no-no, and I hid that part of myself until I was 22. During that time, I did all I could to change who I was, but I spiraled into depression; at one point, I almost killed myself.

I was taken to a religious counselor. I thought she was going to find a way to help me change, but she didn't. In an office in the middle of a church, she told me that she had no idea where I would end up, but whatever happened, I had the right to love myself. Some days, it's hard to remember that lesson, but most days are better now.

Some recent moments in the speedrunning community have been rough; while being gay and lesbian is generally accepted, our transgender members still face walls of hate. Anyone watching Twitch chat last night would know that. But our community has always been diverse. We have pastors, atheists, doctors, McDonald's workers, cosplayers, furries, tpoets, artists, developers. We have Halfcoordinated who can destroy a game one-handed much better than almost anyone can with both. We have had members who we watched slip out of this life and who we all miss.

We do not have time for hate, but it's difficult. As someone told me earlier, "You can't do anything to prevent people's hate. You can only react to it." Please. React to this. Don't join into the hate-mongering online just because it's what everyone is doing. Even if you don't agree with someone, respect them. As a community, let us stand with our trangender members.

I wouldn't have made it far if a religious figure didn't tell me to love myself. I hope I can continue sending that love to others.