My little Anonymous in Equestria. (one shots)

My little human is a show in Equestria. one of the characters on the show is named Anonymous but doesn't look like him. Anonymous interactions with ponies is always ruined by them being fans of said show.



“How much for the head of lettuce?”
>The stall owner looks up at you before smiling.
>”Hey you're a human right? From that show my little human? Oh man my little filly at home loves that show! Can I get your autograph?”
>sighing you walk away.
>You know how it will end.
>Who's working the apple stall today?
>Walking over you find applejack.
>Perfect.
>walking up to the stall Applejack waves her hoof at you
>”Howdy Anonymous”
“Hello, bag of apples please.”
>”Alright” She begins pushing apples into a bag “Ponies still giving you trouble?”
“Yeah... I swear the guy who runs the lettuce stall forgets I come by everyday. You would think he might call me out on swiping the lettuce and leaving bits behind.”
>She hands you the bag
>”I don't understand how ponies can watch that stuff, its boring and none of that stuff would ever happen! A giant metal machine going faster than our trains. No way.”
“I know Applejack.” Setting the bits down you begin walking away.
>If only she really knew...
>Need to see Twilight next... than swipe the lettuce on the way home.
>Walking over the Twilight's few ponies stop and ask for an autograph but you just ignore them.
>You gave all the fillys autographs anyway not like ponies need it.
>Grow up and watch real tv you midget horses!
>Sighing to yourself you knock on Twilight’s door before letting yourself in.
>PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TODAY TWILIGHT.

>Opening the door your assaulted with horrors man should never see.
>”Oh Anonymous” twilight moans as she moves a giant human penis mold.
>she sits on her couch facing the tv.
>Oh good, its the rerun of my little human where the guy with your name goes swimming.
>you don't want to deal with this right now.
>Closing the door you decide its best to get the book you want through spike.
>Now wheres that little fuc-
>Spotting him tailing Rarity with hearts in his eyes you shudder a little.
>Tailing Spike for a bit Rarity goes to turn a corner.
>That's when you strike, grabbing him by the tail snapping him out of his trance
>”Hey whats going on! Put me down! Oh its just you Anonymous.”
“Hey Spike, mind doing me a favor?”
>Muttering is heard behind you
“I need a book and right now I don't feel like dealing with Twilight. Can you get me the handy fix it book. The big one.”
>”Gem included?”
“Wouldn't ask if I didn't have one.”
>”Sure!”
>Putting spike down more muttering is heard from behind you.
>But that's not what concerns you.
>What concerns you is Rarity just walked around the corner.
“Run spike run!”
>He screams a bit before taking off.

>”Spike?” Rarity calls for him “Spiiii- Anonymous!”
>She rushes you nuzzling your leg
>Fuck!
>”Oh I just knew these pants would look so cute on you~”
“hehheh yeah, also comfy.”
>”Oh of course and this shirt you are so adoreable!”
“Please, Rarity stop.”
>You can hear the muttering behind you now
>”Hey that's the human”
>”Oh my gosh it totally is!”
>”HANDS!”
>Turning slowly you see a small herd of ponies behind you.
>Two unicorns
>Two pegasi
>Three earth poni-
>”Anonymous I baked you a cake of your face~” Pinkie pie standing onto of the small group”
>No
>NO
>FUCK NO
>”Anonymous we need to get you a little bow tie and a cowboy hat with some itty bitty booties!” Rarity talking to you from your leg.
>You don't listen as you go from standing still to a full blown sprint back home.
>Grabbing the lettuce you didn't drop any bits
>Not like he noticed he just asked for an autograph again.
>Meanwhile the heard of ponies is following behind chanting
>”My little human~ My little human~ My little human~”
>PLEASE NO
>Making it out of town moving as fast as you can, not daring to look behind you.

>Eventually you get tired as the only steps being heard are you own.
>And Rarity's voice who is still clinging to your leg
>”And a gold cape with the letters M L H you would so adoreable”
>Grabbing Rarity mane you pull her off your leg
“NO! Fuck Rarity, what are you doing! WHAT ARE ALL OF YOU DOING!” you scream at her
>She's still taken back by you pulling her mane
“I'm fucking stranded in some god damn magical colorfilled fucking horse land and I can't even attempt to live a quiet life?! Its like the moment I leave my fucking house you all treat me like I'm a god damn celebrity”
>”B-but you are darling-”
“NO IM NOT!” you bend down getting in her face.
“HE HAS THE SAME NAME AS ME AND WE'RE BOTH HUMAN!”
>”Y-your human though” shes unsure how to react to this.
>Your unsure how to react to this... you never got one p0ny alone before.
“Yeah! The only fucking one! THE ONLY ONE IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN TWISTED HELL”
>”But what about the little cape?”
Sigh
“We're done here Rarity. Go home. “
>checking your bag everything is there, maybe lost an apple. But seasoning is there...
>Not like you can use it right now.
>Nothing lettuce and bread for another week....
>Fucking my little human.
--------------------------------------------------------------




>Day fuck my little human marathons in Equestria.
>Only good that came of it is everyone was to busy watching tv to notice you doing some shopping.
>You got to visit Applejack for a whole thirty minutes before being bothered
>WHOLE GOD DAMN THIRTY MINUTES.
>IT WAS GLORIOUS
>YOU SHIT IN THE FOUNTAIN
>But that was yesterday.
>Today though. You must return a book to Twilight.
>With your repairs done and understanding of pony electricity magic bullshit you need to return it.
>Sighing to yourself you grab the book and makeshift backpack.
>Never know might decide to buy something extra.
“Just return the book Anonymous and come back. No beating around the bush.”
Opening the door its a fairly clear da-
>”Anonymous look!” Lyra calls out from the road walking up... on hind legs wearing your old pants and shirt“I'm a human!”
“....Thank you Lyra. I made it a whole”
>You look down to see if you made it out the door
“Didn't even make it out of my house and you ponies are bothering me. Thank you”
>You hurl the book at Lyra
“Return that to Twilight!”
>You miss but she catches it with her magic before it lands on the dirt road.
>Slamming, locking and putting a piece of wood on the door
>Settling back onto your brown beat up couch you flip the TV on.
>”My little hu-”
“NO”
>Changing the channel you mutter
“Fucking my little human.”


----------------------------------------------------------

>Day 125 in Equestria.
>Watching some re-runs of pony comedy a knock at your door interrupts you.
>Now if you were watching anything else you would ignore it.
>But you just missed the punch line and while pony comedy is light you rather enjoy it.
>Turning the TV off you get up from your chair grumbling.
>Slipping your boots on in case you need to chase away your doors attacker.
>Another knock as your about to open it.
>Opening the door you find your number one fan.
>And her two number one fans waiting at the road for her...
“Hello Trixie...”
>”Sign this for Trixie!” She shoves a book in your face with her magic.
>Grabbing it you look to your right....
>To your right is a giant hole that a cannon ball made blasting straight through your house.
“Magic show last night” you ask
>”Yes and Trixie is disappointed you didn't show up to your number one fans magic show held in Your honor!”
“I'm disappointed a cannon ball was shot through my kitchen and bed room.”
>Tossing the book outside she catches it with a huff
“Unless you are going to fix this kindly go fuck yourself”
>Closing the door Trixie stops you by lodging the book under the door.
>”I-if you wish Trixie could....”
>Raising an eyebrow you watch as she begins to blush heavily
>”As you said Trixie could g-go fuck herself”
>Kicking the book you slam the door.
>Walking over to the remains of your kitchen you grab a beer.
>”A-are you sure?” Trixie poking her head through the hole she made last night.
>Sighing you hold your head as you curl up into the fetal position on the floor.
“Fucking My little human.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Day 136 in Equestria.
>repairs on your house are complete.
>But an issue as come up.
>Your food supply is running low.
>You ran out of beer long ago.
>Grabbing your bits you make note of needing to work again.
>you shudder as you remember your job profession here.
>But that is for later!
>Marching out the door you grab your cart and rush to p0nyville.
>reaching p0nyvilles market you park the cart off to the side where you can drop things off.
>Your time in p0nyville has taught you theft is rare and unlikely to happen.
>Quickly you begin grabbing supplies.
>Apple, many loaves of bread, Various random bars the local bar is will to part with, and some odd vegetables along with other things
>Shopping done you take a breather at your cart getting ready to pull it back home.
>”Anonymous~” You hear a pony call for you.
>instantly you begin pulling your cart out of p0nyville as Rarity trots up.
>”Anonymous where are you going! I have new clothes for you to try on!”
“Please not today Rarity.”
>”Oh but my little Anonymous these new pants will look so cute on you!”
>She picks you up with her magic which you immediately start freaking out
“No no no Rarity fucking put me down right god damn now!” taking a swing at her but you miss as she begins unbuttoning and zipping your pants as she magics another pair in a different color.
>”Come now this will only take a minute!”
>What sets you into full blown panic is she also gripped your undergarments in her magic as she begins sliding your pants off.
>Taking another swing you end up upside down as she finishes removing your pants and undergarments.
>and with gravity bringing your shirt down into your face you hear several small gasps.
>Removing your shirt from your eyes you find several ponies gawking at you
>”Its so.... small” A pony in the back commenting on your half naked form.
>For some strange reason this brings joy to your heart.
>Your pride destroyed but maybe this will all change how they-
>”CAN I BOOP IT?” is heard from pinkie.
>Joy is gone.
>ripping your shirt off you slap Rarity with it causing her to drop you and various clothing.
>Grabbing your cart you begin walking back to your small house.... naked cursing at that television show
“Fucking my little human...”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Day “and humans have pets and I want to be your pet!”
“Excuse me?” raising an eyebrow
>”O-on my little human”
“Yes...”
>”A-anonymous has a pet.”
“No”
>Slamming the door you go back to your couch.
>after a bit you hear a jingling noise
>Normally you would dismiss it exepct Rainbow dash has just dive bombed into your chest and is all wet.
“gah what the godly fuck get off” shoving her off onto the floor she rolls around for a bit before standing up and shaking
“What the hell get out how did you get into my house!”
>”B-but I want to”
“I don't give a fuck what you want.”
>an idea strikes you
“You want to be a pet. Fine”
>Grabbing her by the collar causing her to yelp
>Dragging her outside you lead her to your fence
“You want to be a pet”
>Grabbing some robe you tie her to your fence
“Now stay here”
>”B-but its going to rain tonigh-”
“PETS DON'T FUCKING TALK” you scream into her face.
>She goes silent as you storm into the house
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Day “Princess Celestia its time to wake up” in Equestria.
>Or more so morning.
>Due to funds running low you decided to take the Princess up on her offer...
>She groans as she pulls you into a hug.
“Come on rise and shine” you nudge her a little being careful not to hurt or startle her.
>”Five more minutes!” she says wrapping her wings around you in a tighter hug.
>”The royal My little human doll isn't supposed to talk.” she adds.
“Yeah well the 'My little human royal doll' has to poop so time to get up”
>Silence fills the room till she responds.
>”Hold it”
“E-excuse me” you stutter out confused
>”Five minutes.”
>Squirming a bit you decide five minutes if she doesn't let go your going to make a break for it.
>The sound of her clock near her bed ticks louder as you waste time.
>Tick
>Tock
>Tick
>Tock
>Your stomach begins to growl causing Celestia to stir.
“Times up!” you shoot out of bed causing her to panic and freak out.
>bolting out of her room you almost feel like you ripped her door right off the hinges.
>Bolting down the hallway you take a left into the bathroom and take a stall for yourself.
>you begin to unleash the demon of all turds into this tiny hole they call a toilet.
>You hear several stallions come in only to begin coughing and cursing the stench.
>”Oh my Celestia its like some foul demon has spawned!” they scream retreating
“R.I.P their innocence”
>You finishing up your disaster you take a breather.
>After a bit you leave the stall and the bathroom only to be surrounded by multiple spear points.
>”I-is that the demon” a guard asks in the back
“No no just human. You know... from that show” waving your arms around a bit
>”You can't fool us demon! Humans are not real! You must be a changeling!”
>Blinking your hands are bound to your side from a unicorns magic as you are hauled off to a cell
>You spend the rest of the day in a cell till night rolls around and Luna pays you and lets you go.
>It was a get paid for letting Celestia spoon you and get thrown in jail weekend

----------------------------------------------------------

>Day... That's unimportant right now
“Twilight please! We need to go fast!”
>”After my show!”
“Twilight!” you scream at her desperately
>”Its almost done!”
>Growling you stand in front of the tv
“Its an emergency I need your-  waaah”
>Twilight hurls you to the side with her magic as the tv's sound kicks in.
>”Now for my little human!”
>”Eeeeeee!” Twilight squees clapping her hooves.
>Defeated you curl up and watch the stupid show from start to end as the character with your name asks some female out then cutting to credits.
>Be nice if they got the tits right at least.
>Fucking crotch tits.
>”Ahhh, so fun!” Twilight turns to you launching her self off the couch. “Now what's the problem?”
>Looking at her and the TV you anger spikes to levels you didn't know that was possible.
>Standing up you loom over her with your arm raised in the air, Fist balled.
>Twilight knows somethings wrong as she cowers backwards slowly.
>”A-anonymous? Y-your scaring me” she stutters
>following her around the couch she slowly makes it to her door and begins to fumble with the door handle.
>Snorting and growling in anger sends her over as she screams for her life.
>Swiping her up she screams some more as you kick her small door off the hinges and carry her back home.
>She screams the whole way but what do you fucking care.
>The charred remains of your home are all that’s left.
>hurling Twilight she lands on the burnt remains of your couch.
“Never fucking mind. House burned down.”
>”Oh my gosh!” she has tears still streaming down her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me!”
>Glaring at her you don't say another fucking word as you stomp back to her house and piss on her bed and fall asleep on her couch.
>In your dreams you are punching the character from that damn show in the face.
“Fucking” You feel his nose break
“My” his cries for help are drowned out by his crying and bloody face
“Human!”


--------------------

>”Today on my little human.”
>You quickly change the channel.
>It lands on the news.
>”Today Nightmare moon has returned,”
>You get up to begin barricading your house even farther then it already is.
>”But not to conquer,”
>You stop mid way to your closet.
>”It seems she has learned of some of our modern advancements and has taken a liking to them. Princess Luna and Princess Celestia have confirmed we are safe and have no reason to worry, Nightmare moons only demands are more cheesy puffs, and for “my little human” to appear on television more.”
“Hm, so something good came out of My little human, what a fucking surprise.”
>”In other news, Anonymous our local human's fetish has been found.”
“What?”
>”He was found singing a song that we have evidence to suggest this is how his kind attracts mates.”
>The report changes to a camera of you singing in your boxers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ImZTwYwCug
>”You heard it here ponies, Anonymous likes them big, 'real thick and juicy'”
“There is no way they would believe this guy...”

5 months later

>Watching TV a knock at the door causes you to groan.
>Getting up you answer it only to close your door immediately.
>Locking it and pushing objects in front of it.
>you peak out your window, watching more and more ponies arrive, piling up in front of your house
>Their size is massive...
>Before they were so cute, so thin and small...
>Now they all have some extra weight, some more then others.
>Ponies call your name followed by moaning as they slide food into their mouths.
>Moving away from the window you go to your bathroom where there’s no windows and curl up in the tub.
>The image of Twilight taking an entire banana in her mouth still fresh in your mind.
>The little you disagrees with your choice of hiding instead of going outside.