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Dodecalypse

Quest for the Eye

Oct 5th, 2015
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  1. 11:54 *** danni joined #qftte
  2. 11:54 Psy awriiiiight
  3. 11:54 Noser ok, everyone share trait and name lists while I work on dungeon stuff
  4. 11:54 Psy ok
  5. 11:54 Psy danni may need the pdf link
  6. 11:55 danni and coffee
  7. 11:55 Psy danni qftte stands for Quest for the The Eye, it's a writing-based rpg where you narrate your actions while trying to fulfill a hand dealt from a card deck of bizarre errors and idiosyncrasies
  8. 11:56 Noser qftte.pdfView next to chat
  9. 11:56 Psy it's based on an infamous short story called the eye of argon
  10. 11:57 Psy ok names 'n' traits
  11. 11:59 anneF ok, i'm done reading
  12. 12:00 anneF my berserker name is mazzzz'nda liongroin
  13. 12:00 Noser no, you make a list of names and traits first
  14. 12:01 Noser your own personal picks have to come from other players' lists
  15. 12:01 anneF aaah
  16. 12:01 Psy Names: Krondor, Korgara, Korthrax the Annihiliator
  17. 12:01 Psy Traits: Drenched in glistening body oils, has the head of a bear and the body of an orc, is an ent, is a gnome, is a tinker/inventor whose inventions have a tendency to explode, is a magic robot, is a stone golem, clad in elven chainmail, clad in furs, clad in bloodstained rags, wields dual scimitars, wields a greataxe with lots of skull-themed engravings
  18. 12:01 anneF i read the first page a while ago, sorry about that
  19. 12:01 Psy a) does that cut off anywhere, b) is that ten or more traits
  20. 12:01 anneF 'skull-themed engravings' is the last for me
  21. 12:01 ing same
  22. 12:01 Noser I see no cut, there are plenty of traits
  23. 12:01 Psy then it did not cut off
  24. 12:02 anneF definitely ten or more
  25. 12:02 Psy oh we need kalganbot
  26. 12:03 Noser nah, I'll use my thing
  27. 12:03 *** KalganBot joined #qftte
  28. 12:03 KalganBot Thou hast need to occupy your time, barbarian?
  29. 12:03 Psy oh
  30. 12:03 Psy #botquit
  31. 12:03 *** KalganBot quit (Quit: KalganBot)
  32. 12:04 Psy will you paste the cards into chat somehow, or
  33. 12:04 Noser yes
  34. 12:04 Psy ok
  35. 12:04 anneF Names: Mazzzz'nda, Lokker, Jufzux
  36. 12:04 anneF Traits: Tendency to wisecrack, has a remarkably firm chin, has lavishly described eagle eyes, uses enchanted nunchaku, fights like some sort of animal (player's choice), studied with ancient monks, clad in tanned hides, father was a blacksmith, has mystical tattoo
  37. 12:04 anneF that's just nine, give me a bit
  38. 12:05 Psy pick a fantasy race, that's an easy one
  39. 12:05 anneF is the last of their tribe, is an ex-convict, is a half-blood elf half-orc
  40. 12:06 anneF actually, 'is a half-elf, is a half-orc, is a half-gnome' could be a fun series of traits to have in the same list
  41. 12:07 Noser danni? ing?
  42. 12:07 ing working on it
  43. 12:07 Psy oh, noser, i'm curious
  44. 12:07 Psy what program did you make the pdf in
  45. 12:08 danni working on mine
  46. 12:08 Noser export from libreoffice
  47. 12:08 Psy libreoffice print to pdf?
  48. 12:08 Psy ah
  49. 12:08 Noser export to
  50. 12:08 Psy export, print to, whatever
  51. 12:10 ing NAMES: Sgnrignaar Hjamfsdaarssson, Hrothgar the Bloody, Indutiomarius of Belgitraxia
  52. 12:10 ing TRAITS: Heir to a lost kingdom, Two-headed axe, Has a mysterious magic ring, Doesnt know what money is, Has pointy ears but refuses to divulge ancestry, Perfect pitch, Seven-league boots, Hat of invisibility, Half-centaur, Belt what gives super strength, Magic flute
  53. 12:14 danni Names: Boneskull, Fistula
  54. 12:15 danni Traits: -May be two dwarfs carrying one another -Was the best fighter in their village of 6 people -Accomplished in mystic arts of anti-healing -Has a leather fetish -Marksman -affinity toward curved swords -what doesn't kill them only makes them stronger -has heightened anxiety whenever not fighting -wears a cow head -must find a use for anything they kill
  55. 12:15 Noser ok, now the making of the dudes
  56. 12:15 Noser one name, six traits, can't use your own list, have to use each other trait list at least once
  57. 12:16 anneF if someone else has already used a trait, can you then not use it
  58. 12:17 ing multiple people had the same trait last game
  59. 12:17 Noser yeah, that's fine
  60. 12:17 anneF ok
  61. 12:17 Psy Jufzux, bard-king in exile! Heir to a lost kingdom, magic flute, what doesn't kill him makes him stronger, tendency to wisecrack, studied with ancient monks, has a mystical tattoo
  62. 12:22 anneF Name: Korgora, unappreciated clobbering-genius! Traits: is a tinker/inventor, clad in elven chainmail, has pointy ears but refuses to divulge ancestry, is the best fighter in their village of six people, hat of invisibility, belt of super strength
  63. 12:23 Noser ok
  64. 12:24 danni Name: Mazzzz'nda, Enchanted Gearbox of Wonders! Traits: is a magic robot, studied with ancient monks, Doesnt know what money is, is a tinker/inventor whose inventions have a tendency to explode, uses enchanted nunchaku, Has a mysterious magic ring
  65. 12:25 anneF hm, can i cut 'belt of super strength' for 'has heightened anxiety whenever not fighting'
  66. 12:25 ing Korthrax the Annihilator is an accomplished entish anti-healer who wields a skull-carven greataxe, is covered in mytical tattoos, is drenched in glistening, bloody boils, and may or may not be two dwarves in a coat
  67. 12:25 Noser anne: ok
  68. 12:26 Noser and so they assemble...
  69. 12:26 Noser The Eye of Ensalada, most sacred of the Gems of Koin'Starr stolen from the peaks of Mount Olympus by raving hobgoblins this past midwinter. The gods will be angry if they awaken to find it missing, and so these few hardy mortals have been tasked by Lord Leonitus to restore it before Godwake's Eve.
  70. 12:26 Noser The hobgoblins have made their nest beneath an ancient graveyard, itself beneath an even more ancient castle. The heroes stride through a gap in the vine-drenched walls and encounter one of the many beasts which dwells on these unhallowed grounds.
  71. 12:27 Noser Stands before them the Mantalope, a beast half man, half ant, and half antelope. The Mantalope waves a hungry tentacle and opens its hideous beak with a cry of lustful hunger, but to heroes such as these it is likely to be short work to dispatch.
  72. 12:27 Noser The Mantalope has 16 HP. your cards for the round
  73. 12:27 Psy *nicovideo.jp montage of the characters rendered in heromachine and rpg maker vx set to j-rock*
  74. 12:27 Noser NEOLOGISTIC MODIFIER
  75. 12:27 Noser Coin a new adjective or adverb. (Other parts of speech do not match this card.)
  76. 12:27 Noser ... the wench stated whimsicoracally.
  77. 12:27 Noser PERIOD DIALECT
  78. 12:27 Noser Use an archaic pronoun or grammatical construct, correctly or incorrectly.
  79. 12:27 Noser Thou hast need to occupy your time, barbarian
  80. 12:27 Noser PLEONASTIC ADJECTIVE
  81. 12:27 Noser Use an adjective which is redundant with the noun it modifies. (Other parts of speech do not match this card.)
  82. 12:27 Noser ... the stone masonry of the floor...
  83. 12:28 Noser if using a trait in a non-obvious way, please specify it
  84. 12:28 anneF are there just three cards?
  85. 12:28 Noser for the first round yes
  86. 12:28 anneF oh, right--yes
  87. 12:29 anneF didn't pay enough attention there
  88. 12:29 Psy "Forsooth, I had mantalope meat once. It was a bit saltivorous, to be honest." Jufzux cracks a rogueish grin and unsheathes his musical flute. It was time to party.
  89. 12:30 Psy i tag my own traits right
  90. 12:30 Noser the flute in this case?
  91. 12:30 Psy actually i was saving the flute tag for later and using wisecrack this time
  92. 12:30 Noser ok
  93. 12:30 Psy he's not /good/ at wisecracking
  94. 12:30 Noser saltivorous, forsooth, musical flute, wisecrack, you're good for four
  95. 12:31 Psy others are free to go as you finish typing, we dont roll until the end of the turn
  96. 12:32 ing Korthrax strides forth pomposedly, gripping the mantelope's gullet in one wooden, leaf-encrusted fist. "Prepare to meet thine infernal master, in the pits of the the subterranean underworld, ye wench!"
  97. 12:32 Noser pomposedly, wench, subterranean underworld. ent trait?
  98. 12:32 ing yes
  99. 12:32 Noser ok, four
  100. 12:33 Psy so far this is coming off less "eye of argon" and more "preteen forum roleplay"
  101. 12:33 Psy i am fine with this
  102. 12:33 anneF "A fretargical beast, to be sure." Muttered the impatient Korgora, whipping one of his home concoctions from his belt, filled with the most vile and twisted of elixirs as hence were ever gathered from the underworld. Upon flinging it triumphantly, it would erupt into a panoply of hazardous explosions.
  103. 12:34 Noser fretargical, hence, hazardous explosions, tinker/inventor, four
  104. 12:36 Noser And what of Mazzzz'nda?
  105. 12:37 anneF as a participator in preteen forum roleplay, i'm getting nostalgic
  106. 12:37 danni Mazzzz'nda hummed in their musecal tone, "I haven't seen a beast such as that since the dead zombie tarrasque of Hleinder during yore" as they prepared to throw the pocket watch what could only function as a bomb.
  107. 12:38 Noser I guess I can accept musecal, yore, dead zombie, tinker/inventor, four
  108. 12:38 Noser
  109. 12:38 Noser Psy rolled 5, *2*, *4*, *4*, for a total of 3 even dice.
  110. 12:38 Noser Anne rolled *4*, *2*, 1, *6*, for a total of 3 even dice.
  111. 12:38 Noser Danni rolled *4*, 3, 5, 1, for a total of 1 even die.
  112. 12:38 Noser Ing rolled 3, *6*, 5, *4*, for a total of 2 even dice.
  113. 12:38 Noser The party rolled a total of 9 even dice.
  114. 12:39 Psy rockin'
  115. 12:39 Noser Porcelain scales chip from the sleek hide of the mantelope as Korthrax flings it against the blasts. It is aggrieved but not defeated. The injured Mantalope unfurls its wings and changes its tactics, flying into the air in graceful, terrifying swoops, raking at the assembled party with its eight skeletal hindclaws.
  116. 12:39 Noser 7hp remaining
  117. 12:39 Noser NEOLOGISTIC VERB
  118. 12:39 Noser Coin a new verb. (Other parts of speech do not match this card.)
  119. 12:39 Noser Grignr appilevered the oaken haft, employing it as a lever whereby to pry open the barrier.
  120. 12:39 Noser NUMBER MISMATCH
  121. 12:39 Noser Mix singular and plural forms incorrectly.
  122. 12:39 Noser ANACHRONISM
  123. 12:39 Noser Refer to something contemporary or futuristic.
  124. 12:44 Psy Jufzux puts the magic flute to his mouth and begins blowmelodizing the iconic tune "baker street" by gerry rafferty. mysticomusic waves bursts forth from the flute, and the mantalote begin to feels the music inside, and is incapacitated dancing along.
  125. 12:44 Noser blowmedloizing, waves bursts, baker street, is this using the flute as a trait now?
  126. 12:45 Psy yes
  127. 12:45 Noser ok, 4
  128. 12:45 Noser TITLE:
  129. VIEWS: 0
  130. FAVES: 0
  131. RATING: 0
  132. RATERS: 0
  133. UPLOADED:
  134. TITLE:
  135. VIEWS: 0
  136. FAVES: 0
  137. RATING: 0
  138. RATERS: 0
  139. UPLOADED:
  140. 12:46 ing "Didn't think we'd have to do this so soon, says the top dwarf, jumping off of the bottom dwarves' shoulders into her clasped hands. Korthrax B salongs Kortrax A headlong directly into the gaping eye of the beast ululating like the cry of an ambulances at three AM
  141. 12:47 Noser salongs, dwarves', ambulances, two-dwarf trait, four
  142. 12:48 danni Tapping his memory reserves into their training at the YMCA, Mazzzz'nda clutched their enchanted nunchaku and let loose his flurryizing that culminated in a single blow, the impacts of which would send a quake through the mantalote's body
  143. 12:49 anneF Korgora yelps and scrumples across the ground, hands scraping along the dirt. Ducking behind a nearby rock, heart thumping in an increasingly frantic series of pace. He thanks his several ever-more-elaborately-named lucky stars for his protective elven chainmail, without which his fate would no doubt be sealed. Clenching his teeth around the pin of a makeshift grenade, he throws it backwards with a bright holler of "NOW we're cooking with gas!"
  144. 12:49 Noser flurryizing, single blow with multiple impacts, YMCA, nunchaku, four
  145. 12:49 Noser scrumple, series of pace, gas, chainmail
  146. 12:49 Noser four
  147. 12:50 Noser Psy rolled 3, *4*, *4*, 1, for a total of 2 even dice.
  148. 12:50 Noser Anne rolled 5, 3, 3, 5, for a total of 0 even dice.
  149. 12:50 Noser Danni rolled *6*, 3, *4*, 1, for a total of 2 even dice.
  150. 12:50 Noser Ing rolled *4*, *4*, 5, 3, for a total of 2 even dice.
  151. 12:50 Noser The party rolled a total of 6 even dice.
  152. 12:50 Psy ooh 1 hp left
  153. 12:50 anneF :I
  154. 12:51 anneF tension
  155. 12:51 Noser The combined mass of explosion, dwarf, and nunchaku flay the helplessly dancing mantalope's flesh from its bones
  156. 12:51 Noser a feat that woudl surely have slain it in any other circumstance
  157. 12:51 Noser but on this dread necromantic ground, the tremendous winged skeleton of the mantalope, though bruised and banged, continues to flap, continues to bite, a mockery of unlife in all its evilness
  158. 12:52 Noser OVERLY MODIFIED SENTENCE
  159. 12:52 Noser Modify five or more words in a single sentence with adjectives, adverbs, and/or prepositional phrases.
  160. 12:52 Noser The staggering soldier clumsily reached towards the pommel of his dangling sword, but before his hands ever touched the oaken hilt a silvered flash was slicing the heavy air.
  161. 12:52 Noser WANDERING PREPOSITION
  162. 12:52 Noser Omit, misplace, or incorrectly add an English preposition. (Other parts of speech do not match this card.)
  163. 12:52 Noser ... he removed his callous paws from the girl's arms and replaced them with tightly around her undulating neck...
  164. 12:52 Noser VOCABULARY TEST
  165. 12:52 Noser Cause the GM to use, or desire the use of, a dictionary or similar work of reference. (It counts even if the word turns out to be fake.)
  166. 12:52 Noser no need to try very hard here, those of you with magical second sight can see the string holding it up at this point
  167. 12:53 Noser preceding metaphor not meant to be taken literally but shrug
  168. 12:53 ing isn't it
  169. 12:56 Psy Jufzux smoothly sheathes his musical flute, wheeling precariously around from his John Coltrante-style back-to-the-audience stance just in time to painfully receive a bony talon slash across his taut, firm, only slightly (tastefully even) hairy chest. He reels back, but you know what they say.... what doesn't murder you enstrengthens you. A big gash across the chest is a strange kind of strength, but w/e
  170. 12:56 Psy or wait was that miles davis
  171. 12:57 Psy which jazz guy played with his back to the audience
  172. 12:57 Psy i mean it can be wrong for qftte purposes but i'd like to know
  173. 12:57 Psy tagging doesntkillstronger trait obvo
  174. 12:57 Noser lots of modifiers, makes him stronger trait
  175. 12:58 Noser does anyone else see a preposition omitted or misplaced or anything there, all the prepositions look fine to me
  176. 12:59 Noser 2 unless another player can point out why it'd be more
  177. 12:59 Psy i wasnt trying for that or the vocab one, so it'd be news to me
  178. 12:59 anneF "Oh, good GRIEF--" exclaims Korgora, voice wavering shrilly into tones of embarassingly high pitch as he's perambulating jankily deeper into the protective respite provided by sheltering rock. Clamping both hands across his ears and removing himself from with combat at his back, he finds his resolve wilting.
  179. 12:59 Psy i was originally just gonna go for one die but decided on two
  180. 13:00 Noser modifiers, from with combat, is a trait involved here?
  181. 13:00 anneF heightened anxiety when not fighting
  182. 13:00 Noser ok
  183. 13:01 Noser 3
  184. 13:01 danni Taking empathetic commiseration on the pitiful beast, a holy virtue instilled in Mazzzz'nda by the benevolent friars of the White Order the Acclaimed Freyr, they could only give the monster a kind death, one attended by the necessary funeral rites, of course.
  185. 13:02 Noser modifiers, not sure what is going on with the friars clause in that sentence but adding prepositions could maybe fix it so okay, monk trait?
  186. 13:02 Noser 3
  187. 13:02 danni yes on the monk trait
  188. 13:03 Noser and how are our dwarven ent friend reacting to this development
  189. 13:03 ing Pestiferous Korthax forcefully slings her januarian axe into through the calciferous monster's bony vertebra and callow ribcage, burrying it deep within where its heart would be, if its heart weren't lying under several feet away
  190. 13:04 Noser modifiers, into through, januarian might or might not mean two-headed and I want to look it up, axe trait?
  191. 13:04 ing yes
  192. 13:04 Noser ok januarian does not mean something, four dice
  193. 13:05 ing oh it still counts if it's not a word?
  194. 13:05 Psy nice one ing
  195. 13:05 Noser Psy rolled 1, *4*, for a total of 1 even die.
  196. 13:05 Noser Anne rolled 3, *6*, *4*, for a total of 2 even dice.
  197. 13:05 Noser Danni rolled *4*, *2*, 1, for a total of 2 even dice.
  198. 13:05 Noser Ing rolled *6*, *6*, *2*, 1, for a total of 3 even dice.
  199. 13:05 Noser The party rolled a total of 8 even dice.
  200. 13:05 Noser The Mantalope howls a mournful death-cry from its muzzlebone, coughs up marrow, and collapses against a wall of the inner keep. The weight of its fall cracks open the stone wall-stones, granting the party access to the doomed interior. Filing into the keep, they are relieved to find that light emananates inward from cracks in the ceiling...
  201. 13:05 Noser but far less relieved to discover their way is barred by not one, not two, but seven ice slimes. Each slime is a scant two feet in height, but their collective coolth freezes the atmosphere into droplets around them, making the way most treacherous to pass unlest they can be slain.
  202. 13:05 Noser the slimes have around 3hp each for a total of 20
  203. 13:06 ing coolth
  204. 13:06 Noser ADJECTIVE-ED NOUN
  205. 13:06 Noser Add an "-ed" suffix to an adjective which would have been correct without one.
  206. 13:06 Noser ... spilling a pool of crimsoned entrails...
  207. 13:06 Noser THE FUTILITY OF LANGUAGE
  208. 13:06 Noser Use two or more synonyms or near-synonyms for "indescribable" in a description.
  209. 13:06 Noser OMITTED VERB
  210. 13:06 Noser Leave a grammatically required verb out of a sentence entirely. (Other omitted parts of speech do not match this card.)
  211. 13:06 Noser A gasping gurgle from the soldier's writhing mouth as he tumbled to the golden sand at his feet, and wormed agonizingly in his death bed.
  212. 13:06 Noser ARCHITECTURAL PROSE
  213. 13:06 Noser Describe a floor, wall, or ceiling which has no unusual features in ten words or more.
  214. 13:06 Noser ... the hand hewn granite laid pavement, worn smooth by countless hours of arduous sweat and toil...
  215. 13:06 Noser if I don't reply immediately to an action it's because of taking a leak, I will return
  216. 13:08 Noser back
  217. 13:10 danni gotta say i can't wait to see psy take on the architectural prose
  218. 13:13 Psy Jizjax grins wickedly. This is his moment to . Tearing off his tunic to reveal the full and indescribably toned and handsome torso beneath, Juxjuz's mystical tattoo can finally be seen: A firebreathing chinese-snakey-style dragon emerging from his jodhpurs, the bottom of which presumably ends on the tip of his penis.
  219. 13:13 Psy Real, white-hotted flames burst forth from the dragon's mouth toward the poor slimes, lowering their defenses and making them vulnerable. The orange light dances nimbly on the carefully-placed stone masonry bricks ensconcing the icy room, patterns glittering amongst the hand-laid brickwork.
  220. 13:15 Psy tagging mystical tattoo obviously~
  221. 13:15 Noser hotted. blatant verb omission. bricks. tattoo. does anyone see a second synonym or near-synonym for indescribable? I only see one
  222. 13:15 Psy oh SHIT
  223. 13:15 Psy i knew i missed something
  224. 13:15 anneF Korgora his hands along the dreary and monotonous grayed wall, touched by the chill of many sunless winters and summers. His inner monologue composed gentle certainties regarding his future immortalization in the tales of the bards, lending hushed and trembling voice to deeds of inarticulable bravery and un-easily-verbalizable boldness: Master of tinkers, who reduced gelatinous fiends to a pulp with guile and cunning and easily manufactured hats of
  225. 13:16 Psy easily manufactured hats of
  226. 13:16 Noser grayed, multi indescribable, verb in first sentence, long wall
  227. 13:16 Noser think we might need the rest of it to get to the trait
  228. 13:16 anneF intangibility!
  229. 13:17 Noser is the hat the trait
  230. 13:17 danni Knowing full well the expanding coolth will their bronzed gears, Mazzzz'nda panics and taps a metallic finger on his nondescript magic ring, whose untellable powers must have solution these insidious slimes. As their thought processes slowed as a result of the dreaded coolth, Mazzzz'nda could only pray as the ring hummed with bright light.
  231. 13:17 anneF yes
  232. 13:17 Noser 5 for anne
  233. 13:17 anneF invisibility, in artsy speak
  234. 13:17 danni And as their gears warmed, Mazzzzn'da knew that an allied fire slime had been summoned.
  235. 13:18 ing Kortrhax crouches down and across the cold, square cobble stones, not an even tesallation of regular polygons but instead a barbarous combination of brick-red octagons and smaller, greyed squares. She looks directly into what she assumes eye of the slimes, hoping that the unknowable workings of its unfathomable think-membranes will mistake her glistening, bloodied hide as that of one of its own
  236. 13:18 Noser bronzed, nondescript is an interesting variant on indescribable that I will accept along with untellable, missing verb in first phrase, I see no floor/wall/ceiling, magic ring trait. 4 for danni
  237. 13:19 Noser greyed, unknowable/unfathomable, you can't "crouch across" so I'm guessing verb goes there, lots of floor, bloody boils trait?
  238. 13:19 Noser 5 for ing
  239. 13:20 Noser Psy rolled 3, 5, 5, *4*, for a total of 1 even die.
  240. 13:20 Noser Anne rolled *4*, *4*, *2*, 5, *2*, for a total of 4 even dice.
  241. 13:20 Noser Danni rolled *4*, 3, *2*, *6*, for a total of 3 even dice.
  242. 13:20 Noser Ing rolled *6*, *6*, 5, *4*, *4*, for a total of 4 even dice.
  243. 13:20 Noser The party rolled a total of 12 even dice.
  244. 13:21 Noser As the assembled crew cow the slimes, Mazzzz'nda's firey ally advances on them, its heat causing several to burst...
  245. 13:22 Noser The remaining three slimes merge themselves into a single larger body, a dreadly man-high slime pillar with blood of liquid nitrogen and brain of nothing but murderous intent. The ring's summoning magic dissipates.
  246. 13:22 Noser 8hp for the pillar
  247. 13:22 Noser TERRIBLE MYTHOLOGICAL TERM
  248. 13:22 Noser Invent a terrible name for a god or mythic being.
  249. 13:22 Noser By the surly beard of Mrifk, Grignr kneels to no man!
  250. 13:22 Noser RHYME
  251. 13:22 Noser Rhyme.
  252. 13:22 Noser ALLITERATION
  253. 13:22 Noser Begin four or more words in close proximity with the same sound or letter.
  254. 13:22 Noser ... severing several scarlet locks from his scalp.
  255. 13:22 Noser ANATOMY TEXT
  256. 13:22 Noser Refer to an anatomical detail with excessive specificity (correctly or incorrectly).
  257. 13:22 Noser Grignr grappled with the lashing flexor muscles of the repugnant body of a garganuan brownhided rat
  258. 13:22 Psy this is a fun array
  259. 13:23 anneF it sure is
  260. 13:23 danni got a say i would love to see how a 60s era stan lee plays this game
  261. 13:23 ing i'm not in the pillar am i
  262. 13:24 Noser I don't think so?
  263. 13:24 Noser we don't have a grid and miniatures or anything
  264. 13:26 Psy "By Boroshovak's bonkers body, it seems like time to do karate!" sings Jufjix, striking an intimidating martial arts stance taught to him by the bear monks of the bear god Boroshovak. He stands still for a moment, then suddenly in the blink of an eye he is upon the pillar, delivering a lightning-fast series of savage blows to the pillar's nitrogenium gland, rupturing it and getting liquid nitrogen all over the adjacent iceliver and chillpanc
  265. 13:27 Noser chillpanc
  266. 13:27 Psy reas
  267. 13:27 Psy .
  268. 13:28 Noser boroshovak isn't too bad but going slavic/russian for a bear god in particular I'll accept as terrible, I don't see a rhyme but would welcome it being pointed out by another player if one's there, alliteration at the start, needless organs, monk trait
  269. 13:28 Noser 5 for psy
  270. 13:29 Psy okay come on someone point out the rhyme
  271. 13:29 Psy jeez
  272. 13:29 anneF karate
  273. 13:29 anneF it was good rhyme, i enjoyed it
  274. 13:29 Noser ... body/karate?
  275. 13:29 Psy yes
  276. 13:29 anneF well
  277. 13:29 Noser ok that's my new england accent there, 5 for psy yes
  278. 13:29 anneF it was terrible rhyme, i enjoyed it
  279. 13:31 anneF Stifling a sordid swearword certain to slur the serenities of Bed'nBrek, high tinker god of those with boundless creativity and few standards of bodily hygiene, Korgora tightens his belt and furrowens his brow. The tensions convulsing through his corrugator supercilii tighten into a hearty frown indeed. Some, surely, would call it a fool's errand to attempt to catch a beast made nearly entirely out of roaring flame and molten liquids with a German s
  280. 13:31 Psy with a German s
  281. 13:32 anneF uplex, but did these unknown doubters possess martial arts skill to rival nearly a half-dozen people? Korgora thought not.
  282. 13:33 Noser Bed'nBrek, someone help me with rhyme, alliteration, supercilii, best out of six
  283. 13:33 Noser at least 4, 5 if I'm overlooking a rhyme
  284. 13:33 Psy i dont see a rhyme
  285. 13:33 anneF nope, no rhyme
  286. 13:34 ing Casting her plants for subterfuge, Koghrax hums the harmonious hymn of Horsslisloojj. The most ancient anti-god of anti-healing floods her body with death-force, and a beam of anti-health pierce the pillar's phospholipid bilayer, activating is lysosomes into releasing their cytotoxic enzymes
  287. 13:34 Psy disappointed at how few people are going for the rhyme
  288. 13:35 danni Mazzzz'nda's marvelous machination metered out swift justice on the protoslimes, and restored Mazzzz'nda's capabilities of mechanical thought, but lacked the strength to truly combat what this slime pillar could know wrought.
  289. 13:35 danni Mazzzz'nda felt a rising in their mechanical loins as they dodged icicles praying to Roker the god of storms that one would not damage their precious mechanical heart, which pulsed with oil as if it were blood.
  290. 13:35 danni i went for a rhyme
  291. 13:35 Psy gj
  292. 13:35 anneF sure did
  293. 13:35 Psy ty
  294. 13:35 Noser H, rhyme?, Horsslisloojj, phosholipid bilayer [used correctly, I believe], antihealing, at least 4 for ing
  295. 13:36 anneF subterfuge/horsslislojj?
  296. 13:36 Noser ok
  297. 13:36 Noser yes
  298. 13:36 anneF obviously this relies on fantasy pronunciation, but we've gone this far
  299. 13:36 Noser those MIGHT AS WELL rhyme
  300. 13:36 Noser as for mazzzz'nda
  301. 13:36 Psy wait they totally do
  302. 13:37 Psy it ends in oojj
  303. 13:37 Psy they legit do
  304. 13:37 anneF pronounced as 'horse deluge'
  305. 13:37 Noser alliteration, roker, thought/wrought, needless aside into roboheart, and robot trait, 5
  306. 13:38 Noser Psy rolled *2*, 3, 5, 5, *6*, for a total of 2 even dice.
  307. 13:38 Noser Anne rolled 5, *6*, 3, 5, for a total of 1 even die.
  308. 13:38 Noser Danni rolled *6*, *2*, 3, *4*, *4*, for a total of 4 even dice.
  309. 13:38 Noser Ing rolled 5, 5, 5, *4*, *6*, for a total of 2 even dice.
  310. 13:38 Noser The party rolled a total of 9 even dice.
  311. 13:38 Noser Roker's blessings were with them on this day.
  312. 13:38 Noser Gobules of slime fly in all directions including upward, nudging some vines from the ceiling and admitting a great deal of warm sunlight. The already wounded thing of slime is rendered helpless in the additional heat, and within seconds there is naught but a cool blue mist. The way cleared, the slayers descend a stair into the cellars of the keep.
  313. 13:38 ing god didn't notice roker
  314. 13:38 ing good one danni
  315. 13:39 Noser After many twists, turns, scrapes, and bends, a passage from the cellars to the catacombs is discovered, yet twill not be easy, for an ancient rusty suit of armor turns its head and gives the spelunkers a magically animated glare of disapproval. The armor hefts a greataxe and swings it with a great axing motion towards the head of Jufzux.
  316. 13:39 danni i do what i can
  317. 13:39 Noser foe has uh 4*(5+1)=24hp
  318. 13:39 Noser reshuffling deck
  319. 13:39 Noser ah, one of the new-to-fall-2015 cards came up
  320. 13:39 Noser THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
  321. 13:39 Noser Use a word or phrase which tends to invite innuendo, without following through on any innuendo.
  322. 13:39 Noser Ejaculating a curse through rasping teeth...
  323. 13:39 Noser PLEONASTIC ADJECTIVE
  324. 13:39 Noser Use an adjective which is redundant with the noun it modifies. (Other parts of speech do not match this card.)
  325. 13:39 Noser ... the stone masonry of the floor...
  326. 13:39 Noser PERIOD DIALECT
  327. 13:40 Noser Use an archaic pronoun or grammatical construct, correctly or incorrectly.
  328. 13:40 Noser Thou hast need to occupy your time, barbarian
  329. 13:40 Noser THE FUTILITY OF LANGUAGE
  330. 13:40 Noser Use two or more synonyms or near-synonyms for "indescribable" in a description.
  331. 13:40 Noser METAPHOR JUGGLING
  332. 13:40 Noser Use two necessarily incompatible metaphors for the same subject consecutively. (This may involve similes rather than formal metaphors.)
  333. 13:40 Noser It is amazing that they would ever have left a pig like him become their ruler. I should imagine that his people would rise up and crucify him like the dog he is.
  334. 13:47 ing kORGAX pulls back her sleeve revealing her most powerful tattoo: a firm, pulsing shaft of petrified stone, engraven with an incomprehensible script in homage of a far-away, incognizable alien god. The eldtritch tattoo bursts forth, as a moth emerging from a coccoon, and flops desperately toward the armour like a salmon swimming against the river twoard its spawning pool. "Taste my shaft, thine udead braggart!" she spats.
  335. 13:48 Noser shaft-tasting, petrified stone, thine, incomprehensible/incognizable, mothsalmon, tattoo trait, ing gets 6 dice and a trait refresh
  336. 13:48 Psy Seeing the familiar coat of arms engraved on the suit of armor, Juzjux's hackles are raised to heights beyond mortal description. "Listen, O metal man, for I am the lost heir of House Roosterbloom, and thus you are under my command!" He pauses. "Or at least you should be."
  337. 13:48 Psy Flashbacks of indescribable horror and pain wrack Jifjix's pleshty mindmeats, turning him into naught more than a deer in headlights; a burning castle, his mother tumbling down a chasm. Jifjex roared with anguish, a courageous lion of music and martial arts.
  338. 13:49 Psy wait
  339. 13:49 Psy his mother tumbling down a chasm like a hot dog sliding down a hallway
  340. 13:49 Psy there
  341. 13:49 anneF hahaha
  342. 13:50 Noser pleshty mindmeats seemed vaguely obscene already, I'll count courageous lion as pleonasm since it's in a metaphor and lion means that ina metaphor, O, indescribable/beyond description, deerlion, lost heir
  343. 13:50 danni Mazzzz'nda jerked their enchanted nunchaku into play, the nunchaku's runes humming a bird's song as the structure of the weapon expanded - the chains lengthen much in the same way a worm would. Now able to fight at a distance, Mazzzz'nda tossed their serpenten snake of a weapon to ensnare the armor. "Keep thine unholy protection to thineself!"
  344. 13:50 Noser 6 dice and trait refresh for psy
  345. 13:51 Noser can you rephrase that to involve not knowing what money is
  346. 13:51 Noser nunchaku hasn't refreshed
  347. 13:51 danni oh
  348. 13:51 danni do i remove all the nunchuk parts or keep them?
  349. 13:52 Noser I'm seeing some card matches on it so I'd say keep
  350. 13:53 anneF Spitting a curse through clenched teeth, Korgora rose to the occassion like a hunting dog preparing for its first day of college. Hastily gripping a nearby torch-holder, he swung at the burly legs of the reanimated set of protective gear, using his lower vantage point to sweep the furious clothes off their feet. Laughter bloomed forth from his dry lips, laughter which lapsed into a strangled gulp as he pulled his hat back down to conceal his curious
  351. 13:53 ing to conceal his curious
  352. 13:53 anneF ly sharp ears. All he could do was hope the sound of mighty banging wasn't disturbing his teammates.
  353. 13:53 anneF tbf 'conceal his curious' would be a good spot for an innuendo
  354. 13:54 Noser i am familiar with the webcomic College Dog but I will not count its existence against psy's metaphor mixing
  355. 13:54 Noser anne's
  356. 13:54 anneF i was not, and am now
  357. 13:55 danni Mazzzz'nda was never one for armor, every time they tried to walk off with a helmet or cuirass at shops people cursed and chased after him for reasons their head gears could never quite fathom.
  358. 13:55 danni okay add that to my last post
  359. 13:56 danni pretend i used a pronoun other than "him" their since Mazzzz'nda is genderless but I couldn't quite phrase that sentence in another way
  360. 13:56 anneF xir, got it
  361. 13:56 Noser sweep the clothes off and also mighty banging, I see no redundant adjectives, I see no period dialect, I see no indescribable, dog+college, used and refreshed ears. at least 3 dice, someone help me with what I'm missing on anne's
  362. 13:57 danni Mazzzz'nda jerked their enchanted nunchaku into play, the nunchaku's runes humming a bird's song as the structure of the weapon expanded - the chains lengthen much in the same way a worm would. Now able to fight at a distance, Mazzzz'nda tossed their serpenten snake of a weapon to ensnare the armor. "Keep thine unholy protection to thineself!"
  363. 13:57 danni Mazzzz'nda was never one for armor, every time they tried to walk off with a helmet or cuirass at shops people cursed and chased after him for reasons their head gears could never quite fathom.
  364. 13:58 Noser and danni is now using trait, as well as jerked, serpenten snake, thine, don't see two indescribables, birdworm, that looks like 5 for danni and trait refresh
  365. 13:58 Noser any comments from other players about what I'm missing on anne and danni
  366. 13:58 Psy i looked over anne's and couldnt see any others :X
  367. 13:58 ing yeah sorry
  368. 13:58 Noser ok
  369. 13:59 Noser Psy rolled *4*, *6*, *6*, 3, *4*, *6*, for a total of 5 even dice.
  370. 13:59 Noser Anne rolled 3, 1, 5, for a total of 0 even dice.
  371. 13:59 Noser Danni rolled 5, 1, 3, *6*, 1, for a total of 1 even die.
  372. 13:59 Noser Ing rolled *6*, *2*, 3, *4*, *4*, 5, for a total of 4 even dice.
  373. 13:59 Noser The party rolled a total of 10 even dice.
  374. 13:59 Psy i rule
  375. 13:59 anneF Noser: 'verbed forth' is the stand-in for period dialect, i think i missed indescribable, and redundant adjectives i didn't go for
  376. 13:59 danni eek this is gonna take a while to kill huh
  377. 13:59 Noser Korthrax and Jifjuz double-team or possibly triple-team the armor, tumbling it down and smashing it
  378. 14:00 Noser Thunk thunk go the chunks of rusty metal as they cave in and the suit collapses. A shrieking poltergeist can be half-glimpsed, half-heard, emerging from the armor and then entering a new host. Mazzzz'nda's nunchaku leaps into the air, twirls violently, and begins to levitatively charge its deathliness at its former wielder.
  379. 14:00 Noser haunted nunchaku at 14 hp
  380. 14:00 Noser all traits are fresh
  381. 14:00 Noser ALLITERATION
  382. 14:00 Noser Begin four or more words in close proximity with the same sound or letter.
  383. 14:00 Noser ... severing several scarlet locks from his scalp.
  384. 14:00 Noser TENSE MISMATCH
  385. 14:00 Noser Inappropriately combine verb tenses (past/present/future).
  386. 14:00 Noser The weather beaten trail wound ahead into the dust racked climes of the baren land which dominates large portions of the Norgolian empire.
  387. 14:01 Noser NUMBER MISMATCH
  388. 14:01 Noser Mix singular and plural forms incorrectly.
  389. 14:01 Noser GET NUMERIC
  390. 14:01 Noser Use at least three numbers to describe something that does not require any numbers to adequately describe.
  391. 14:01 Noser ... when free and active Grignr may become hungry every six hours and witness the desire for sleep every fifteen hours, whereas in his present condition he may encounter the need for food every ten hours, and the want for rest every twenty hours...
  392. 14:01 Noser INCORRECT VERB
  393. 14:01 Noser Use an incorrect real English verb in a grammatically correct location. (Other parts of speech do not match this card.)
  394. 14:01 Noser A sweeping blade of flashing steel riveted from the massive barbarians hide enameled shield...
  395. 14:02 ing does this mean Mazzz'nda can't use their nunchaku
  396. 14:02 danni looks like
  397. 14:02 Noser eh
  398. 14:07 Psy 8 and a half years ago, back at the bear monastery, Jofjix spent 7 hours a day for five weeks studying the arts of musical exorcism. Now, he saw his chance to put his training to use!
  399. 14:07 Psy Jifjux winded his magic flute from its holster, and begins playing a siren song of spooky spirit subjugation. It's a little jazzy, but it's got a beat, you can dance to it.
  400. 14:07 Psy tagging monks not flute
  401. 14:08 Noser S alliteration, winded/begins, I don't see singular/plural form mixing, many numbers, winded doesn't seem correct to me, monk trait, 5, or 6 if someone else points out a singular/plural mismatch
  402. 14:09 ing hmm
  403. 14:09 Psy i forgot to do a singular plural mismatch
  404. 14:10 ing i don't see an accidental one
  405. 14:10 ing Gorgaxx unsheathes her greataxe once again from its holsters and bounded forth. Imbibing a span of five meters in three paces, she leaps twenty-two inches into the air and chops the cheeping chuck's chain
  406. 14:10 anneF Clutching his teeth, Korgora unhooked four ectoplasm-phobic grenades from his thrice-looped belt hand-woven by three aunts and mothers, a task which she regards with a weary sense of duty. He gave a silent sigh, signalling some soft sense of relief uncurling within him. The days spent perusing fantastic myths had not been wasted--had it not been for that, he'd never have been inspired enough to accomplish the spiritual bombs he was now hurling with
  407. 14:11 Noser ch alliteration, unsheathes/bounded, holsters, three numbers, imbibing, axe trait, 6 for ing
  408. 14:11 Psy he was now hurling with
  409. 14:11 Noser right, anne's is cut off
  410. 14:11 anneF the only thing that could stop the undead: unlethal force.
  411. 14:12 Noser that was worth waiting for
  412. 14:12 anneF i'm glad
  413. 14:13 Noser silent sigh signalling sense, clutching/unhooked, mothers regards, three numbers (one adjectival), clutching, tinker trait, 6
  414. 14:14 Noser I feel like the used/fresh trait rule is pulling its weight well
  415. 14:14 Psy yeah
  416. 14:14 ing what do you mean
  417. 14:14 Psy it is successfully making people mix it up and use all their traits
  418. 14:15 Psy which is having a positive impact
  419. 14:15 Psy imo
  420. 14:15 anneF Noser: you listed clutching twice
  421. 14:15 Noser yes, once for tense and once for being the wrong word
  422. 14:16 danni "Betrayed by Bruce's Bounty!" exclaimed Mazzzz'nda, who receives the gifted nunchaku from the most venerable warrior monk back at the White Order. Hounding their memory, Mzzzz'nda recalled a litany the White Order touched xir, consisting of seven words, of a combination of 27 syllables, and to sung once.
  423. 14:16 danni Mzzzz'nda sung the litany with grace, every note feeling to the poltergeist like a precision knife from an expert fisherman shelling an oyster. The abomination would pay for corrupting Bruce's Bounty!
  424. 14:16 Noser wait, I think I might have misread anne's about the tense
  425. 14:16 anneF right
  426. 14:16 Noser ah, regards
  427. 14:16 Noser there's the mismatch
  428. 14:16 anneF yeah
  429. 14:18 Noser B alliteration, receives for obviously past-tense event, I'll buy number mismatch since you're using a singular non-gender pronoun also, three numbers, hounding, and which trait is being applied here because I see multple
  430. 14:19 danni studying with monks
  431. 14:19 Noser 6 dice
  432. 14:19 Noser Psy rolled 5, 3, 5, *2*, 3, for a total of 1 even die.
  433. 14:19 Noser Anne rolled *4*, 5, *4*, 1, 5, 3, for a total of 2 even dice.
  434. 14:19 Noser Danni rolled 3, 5, 1, *2*, 1, 3, for a total of 1 even die.
  435. 14:19 Noser Ing rolled 5, 1, 3, 3, *6*, *6*, for a total of 2 even dice.
  436. 14:19 Noser The party rolled a total of 6 even dice.
  437. 14:19 ing damn
  438. 14:20 Noser the nunchaku whizzes and whirs, swinging away from gorgaxx's ax and korgora's bombs alike. the music and prayers seem to shake it, then cancel each other out
  439. 14:20 Noser geist at 8 hp
  440. 14:20 Noser ANACHRONISM
  441. 14:20 Noser Refer to something contemporary or futuristic.
  442. 14:20 Noser OMITTED VERB
  443. 14:20 Noser Leave a grammatically required verb out of a sentence entirely. (Other omitted parts of speech do not match this card.)
  444. 14:20 Noser A gasping gurgle from the soldier's writhing mouth as he tumbled to the golden sand at his feet, and wormed agonizingly in his death bed.
  445. 14:20 Noser CRAYOLA THESAURUS
  446. 14:20 Noser Use three or more synonyms for the same color or shade.
  447. 14:20 Noser the stygian cloud of charcoal ebony
  448. 14:20 Noser ARCHITECTURAL PROSE
  449. 14:21 Noser Describe a floor, wall, or ceiling which has no unusual features in ten words or more.
  450. 14:21 Noser ... the hand hewn granite laid pavement, worn smooth by countless hours of arduous sweat and toil...
  451. 14:21 Noser BLOODY DETAILS
  452. 14:21 Noser Devote a sentence of at least fifteen words to blood, handling blood, and/or ancillary effects of blood.
  453. 14:21 Noser Grignr shook his blood streaked hands and wiped them against his thigh until dry, then wiped the blood that had showered his face and from his eyes.
  454. 14:22 Noser Gonna revise GM FAQ answer about shuffle frequency, some cards stop being funny if they come up in too many rounds
  455. 14:28 Psy Like a fastball thrown by a major league pitcher, the nunchucks Jifjux squarely in the nose with a loud "CRUNCH" and a geyser of crimson blood that splashed onto the hideous vinyl tiles of the dungeon floor. Jifjux crumples face down onto the cold, clammy floor, and red liquid begins pooling between his broken nose and the square, checkerboard-patterned vinyl.
  456. 14:28 Psy "No, this can't be how it ends...." Jefjax thinks to himself, and slowly lifts his body from the ruby puddle. "Whatever does not kill me.... makes me feel the music in me!!!!" Flute still in hand, Jufjix begans playing an avant garde jazz solo that makes the nunchuks confused and frightened.
  457. 14:29 Psy TITLE:
  458. VIEWS: 0
  459. FAVES: 0
  460. RATING: 0
  461. RATERS: 0
  462. UPLOADED:
  463. TITLE:
  464. VIEWS: 0
  465. FAVES: 0
  466. RATING: 0
  467. RATERS: 0
  468. UPLOADED:
  469. 14:29 Noser fastball, _ squarely in the nose, 3 reds, enough floor words, long blood-centric sentence, which trait?
  470. 14:29 Psy doesnt kill make strong
  471. 14:30 Noser ok 6
  472. 14:30 ing The Nihilist back from the swirling chain, pressing her back against the ashen wall, its heavy, dusky bricks separated by a cracked mortar of a hideiously leaden hue. Her already-glistening, boil-encrusted torso was now oozing crimson lifesblood, and some of the vital fluid was already coagulating in the pits of her chartreuse orbs. "It's like trying to kill a helicopter blade!" she roarts, but charges forth back into the fray nonetheless
  473. 14:31 Noser helicopter, no verb first phrase, three greys, wall, boils are oozing, is the boils also the trait?
  474. 14:31 ing yes
  475. 14:31 Noser ok 6
  476. 14:33 ing oh god i just noticed psy is jefjax now
  477. 14:34 Psy ive been rotating spellings the whole game
  478. 14:34 Psy i literally dont remember what the original is at this point
  479. 14:35 Noser Jufzux
  480. 14:35 anneF Long arcs of electricity crackle over Korgora's back as he scampers ratlike across the unhospitable floor, draped with a floss-thin layer of scarlet, blood-red carpet entirely coated in deepest crimson. His spine straightens as he pops up before the poltergeist, aiming to end its miserable existence by applying hideous spectral force. As he does so, however, the beast a hideous blow smattering across his temples! Korgora shrieks and gallops for an e
  481. 14:35 anneF He yanks his headgear of incorporeal essence deep below his eyes, and mutters what sounds like "there's no place like home, there's no place like home".
  482. 14:36 danni Mzzzz'nda ducked to the east wall of the cellar, an unfurnished, unadorned area painted in an obscene alabaster, its ivory hue much like that snow that adorned the ski hills of Aspen. Mzzzz'nda had to attend to their wounds from the haunted Bruce's Bounty, as oil dripped from their porcelain face and pumped from their gyro heart, oozing from every orifice.
  483. 14:36 danni Mzzzz'nda strategically redirected oil flow to one of his larger but still safer wounds, gathering that oil in a mechanical flask he designed to walk to it's owner. The flask being sentient itself, Mzzzz'nda soothes it's poor mechanical heart as they it on a one way journey as a firebomb to end this poltergeist's rein on Bruce's Bounty once and for all.
  484. 14:36 anneF oh yeah, and append 'the blow sends rivulets of thick blood gushing forth from a burst artery in Korgora's temple, jarring hideously with the uniform coloring of the carpet' to that
  485. 14:37 Noser anne's first line was cut
  486. 14:37 Noser Korgora shrieks and gallops for an e
  487. 14:37 anneF xit, leaving what appear to be crocodile clamps hooked to a car battery on one end of a nunchaku.
  488. 14:37 Noser anne's at 6 dice, clarify which trait?
  489. 14:37 anneF invisible hat
  490. 14:39 Noser aspen, they it, three whites, lots of wall, blood management system, is this the tinker or robot trait?
  491. 14:39 danni i'll use robot
  492. 14:39 Noser 6
  493. 14:39 Noser Psy rolled *4*, 5, *2*, 5, *4*, *4*, for a total of 4 even dice.
  494. 14:39 Noser Anne rolled 5, *4*, 3, *4*, 3, 1, for a total of 2 even dice.
  495. 14:39 Noser Danni rolled 5, *6*, 5, *6*, 1, *2*, for a total of 3 even dice.
  496. 14:39 Noser Ing rolled *4*, *2*, *6*, 5, *6*, *6*, for a total of 5 even dice.
  497. 14:39 Noser The party rolled a total of 14 even dice.
  498. 14:40 ing sweet
  499. 14:40 Psy how many more encounters are there
  500. 14:40 Noser Normal nunchaku would be utterly pulverized in an explosion of this scale, but Bruce's Bounty is made of holier stuff.
  501. 14:40 Noser The spirit is exorcised.
  502. 14:40 Noser Psy: I had two written down but i'm thinking skip to final now
  503. 14:40 Psy ok cool
  504. 14:41 Noser Thus, the way is clear for the four to descend beneath the cellars and into the dread skull-lined catechumenate.
  505. 14:41 ing good word
  506. 14:41 Noser Passing through a vault studded with the bones of long forgotten royalty, the questants stop in their tracks as a dire puffin burrows upward from the bones and fixes its deadly glare upon them. The puffin thinks better of it and burrows away.
  507. 14:41 Noser And so at the heart of the catecombs, in the depths of ancient burial rites forgotten by man, dwarf, and robot alike, thrive the hobgoblins. A mass of them dance about a campfire, suspended above which is a large boiling-pot containing the very Eye of Ensalada, for the hobgoblins believe that its arcane aura will enhance their soup.
  508. 14:41 Noser Whether or not this belief is true, it is certainly the case that the meat of mighty bards and nutritious dwarves will do so. Each hobgoblin is a fuzzy gnarled thing scarcely two feet high, but in their enmassed swarm it is certainly truthy that they are the pirahnas of the subterranean world.
  509. 14:42 Noser about twenty eight hobgoblins at 1hp each
  510. 14:42 Noser CLOTHIER'S PARADOX
  511. 14:42 Noser Refer to a piece of clothing or armor as being of a specific kind, but also refer to some property of it that contradicts that kind.
  512. 14:42 Noser ... beneath the folds of the g-string wrapped about his waist...
  513. 14:42 Noser MAGICAL ASSPULL
  514. 14:42 Noser Have your character use a supernatural power or item which your character has no previously established reason to possess.
  515. 14:42 Noser ACADEMIC ASIDE
  516. 14:42 Noser State an abstract, detached generalization (which may or may not make sense).
  517. 14:42 Noser However, when the actions of the body are restricted its needs are also affected.
  518. 14:42 Noser GENDER CONFUSION
  519. 14:42 Noser Use a word or phrase with gendered denotation or connotation, but apply it for the incorrect gender.
  520. 14:42 Noser The slut should have picked his quarry more carefully!
  521. 14:42 Noser ANATOMICALLY INACCURATE SYNONYM
  522. 14:42 Noser Refer to a body part by a biologically inaccurate term.
  523. 14:42 Noser His hands reached out clutching his urinary gland...
  524. 14:42 Noser SLASHING RAPIER
  525. 14:43 Noser Describe a weapon as being used for a form of attack inconsistent with its design.
  526. 14:49 Psy As you may know, every third generation in House Roosterbloom has the ability to turn into a 50-foot iron golem wielding a 60-foot greatsword once per day as a spell-like ability. Jufzix is one of these chosen few, and is taking no more chances so close to his goal. Holding his hand on his chest over his pineal gland, Jifjux enters a Sailor Moon esque transformation sequence.
  527. 14:49 Psy When the (faerie) dust clears, before you stands a massive, imposing warrior of magical iron, its cuirass moist and its pauldrons strapped securely to its loins. Mecha-Jefjax raises his sword and then brings it down, crushing flat several hobgoblins.
  528. 14:50 Psy tagging heir to lost kingdom
  529. 14:52 Noser loinstrapping, asspull, asspull described as a generalizing aside, sailor moon is reasonably feminine, wrong gland, a greatsword is sort of a crushing weapon when used normally but wouldn't crush multiples if used normally, and trait for 7
  530. 14:52 ing Man, Dwarf, and Robot may have forgotten the ways of the catechumenatian tribes, but the Ents have longer memories. They remember the first acorn and the first sunrise, and they certainly remember the burial rites of the catechumenatian cults. Gyrgxax's third eye opens, aligning with the mystic sygil on the ceiling of the cactacomb. The lid of one of the crypts peals opoen, and the long-dead bones of some ancient king crawls out. He pulls a
  531. 14:53 Noser he pulls a
  532. 14:53 Psy crawls out. He pulls a
  533. 14:53 ing He pulls a chipped brazen warclub from the belt of his overalls and plunches its blade deep into cranial ribcage of the nearest hobgoblin
  534. 14:54 anneF Korgora shudders and snarls, each nerve tensed to an exquisite point as his patience strains to the very limits of his inhibition. Reaching within the thick, clunking folds of his robe, lightly grazing over cold elven chainmail. His sensory lumps yanks out the enchanted tinkerer's wrench--inherited by his grandmother when he was a wee babe, and she'd completed her first nuclear reactor. With a rage unbefitting of his petite stature, he pirouettes ou
  535. 14:54 anneF Flames spout outward from the wrench and basically everywhere and it's just such a mess. The hobgoblins screech as they're catapulted about by the thunderous blows. The floor, rushing up to greet them, lends to a sickening impact. As we all know, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
  536. 14:54 anneF [From this point onwards, the post devolves into some sort of physics homework.]
  537. 14:55 anneF tagging elven chainmail
  538. 14:55 Noser overalls, pulling king out of catacomb ass, ent memory aside, I'm not seeing gender here, cranial ribcage, bladed club, ent trait. 6 unless someone else points out a gender point
  539. 14:56 Noser cut at pirouettes ou
  540. 14:56 anneF twards like a typhoon, and with a mighty slice of the wrench scatters hobgoblins in hobheaps about himself.
  541. 14:57 danni With Bruce's Bounty restored, Mzzzz'nda stabbed at the unholy hobgoblins, severing the femoral arteries that lined their backs, which as doctors would know would give a victim mere minutes to live. A flurry of hobgoblins then tried to swarm Mzzzz'nda to avenge their fallen kin, but Mzzzz'nda nonchalantly grabbed his monocle, raising the temples to rest on xir
  542. 14:57 danni head and fired an optic blast to fry the swarm. After the last battle, Mzzzz'nda had had enough of this and is not playing around, and chose finish this battle bytossing a mechanical letter opener which exploded into shards, the shrapnel tearing any remaining hobgoblins apart.
  543. 14:57 Noser clunking robe, grandma wrench pull, physics aside, I'll take petite as gender-connotation, sensory lumps??, wrenches should not do that, chainmail for 7
  544. 14:57 anneF sensory lumps for fingers
  545. 14:57 Noser danni has an excellent opening line
  546. 14:57 Noser let's see here
  547. 14:58 anneF A Good Run-On Sentence
  548. 14:59 Noser monocole temples, optic blast, doctor aside, definitely something fishy going on with gender pronouns there, arteries in wrong place, nunchaku stab, which trait is this?
  549. 14:59 danni tinker
  550. 14:59 Noser 7 for danni
  551. 14:59 Noser
  552. 14:59 Noser Psy rolled 1, *6*, *4*, *6*, *6*, *4*, *6*, for a total of 6 even dice.
  553. 14:59 Noser Anne rolled *6*, 5, *6*, *4*, 1, *2*, 3, for a total of 4 even dice.
  554. 14:59 Noser Danni rolled *2*, *2*, 1, *6*, *4*, *6*, *4*, for a total of 6 even dice.
  555. 14:59 Noser Ing rolled 5, 5, *2*, 1, *2*, *4*, for a total of 3 even dice.
  556. 14:59 Noser The party rolled a total of 19 even dice.
  557. 15:01 Noser Korthrax is dripping with slightly less hobgoblin blood than the others after this initial clash of swarths, but certainly the mass of hobgoblins are in a poor condition now. Only about nine of the hobs survive, comprising eight of their bravest warrior-maidens and their mysterious hooded shaman.
  558. 15:01 Noser The shaman takes on the aspect of a tiny bronze-black dragon and breathes a pukingly acrid smoke.
  559. 15:02 Noser LOW BLOW
  560. 15:02 Noser Have your character attack genitals.
  561. 15:02 Noser ... lodging her sandled foot squarely between the shaman's testicles...
  562. 15:02 Noser PLEONASTIC PHRASE
  563. 15:02 Noser Use a multi-word phrase which is redundant with another multi-word phrase in the same sentence.
  564. 15:02 Noser WANDERING PREPOSITION
  565. 15:02 Noser Omit, misplace, or incorrectly add an English preposition. (Other parts of speech do not match this card.)
  566. 15:02 Noser ... he removed his callous paws from the girl's arms and replaced them with tightly around her undulating neck...
  567. 15:02 Noser "MAY" CURSE
  568. 15:02 Noser Have your character use a curse starting with the word "may".
  569. 15:02 Noser May the demons of Hell's deepest haunts claw away at his wretched flesh for this merciless act!
  570. 15:02 Noser TYPO
  571. 15:02 ing shit i left out an easy one
  572. 15:02 Noser Use an inappropriate but real English word which is off by one letter from an appropriate one.
  573. 15:02 Noser ... to yield to the superior force in hopes of a moment of carlessness later upon the part of his captors...
  574. 15:02 Noser THE MOST SUBJECTIVE CARD
  575. 15:02 Noser Cause the GM to laugh or wince.
  576. 15:03 ing are you keeping up with what traits we've used
  577. 15:03 Noser yes
  578. 15:03 Noser you have antihealing, tattoo, and pair of dwarves fresh
  579. 15:03 ing thought so
  580. 15:04 anneF which do i have
  581. 15:04 Noser anxiety, village of six, ears
  582. 15:05 anneF nice
  583. 15:09 Psy "MAY YOU NEVER SPAWN AGAIN YOU TINY LIL BOILS ON A SALAMANDER'S TONGUE!" shrieks Jufjix, shrinking back to human form, and for begins just straight-up castrating dudes with his flute. Just fucking castrating them, removing their little hobgoblin nutsacks. jamming the end of the flume into their taints and just tearing forward messily, shredding the scrotes like overripe tomatoes. there is ballblood everywhere. it's horrible. sometimes th
  584. 15:09 Psy tagging flute
  585. 15:09 Psy where does that cut off
  586. 15:09 ing it's horrible. sometimes th
  587. 15:10 Psy sometimes the lil goblin dicks stay on, sometimes they hang by a thread, but without the shredded scrotes these now-sterile hobgoblins will never reproduce again.
  588. 15:10 Noser um.
  589. 15:10 Noser ok so i did laugh
  590. 15:11 Psy i was actually going for wincing but i'll take it
  591. 15:11 Noser attacked genitals. many repetitive phrases about doing so. for begins. may. flume. laughed. flute trait?
  592. 15:11 Psy yep
  593. 15:11 Noser 7
  594. 15:11 Psy B)
  595. 15:13 ing "May your gonads wither and fall to the ground on like the loaves in november, and may the little microspopic draconiculi they contain rebel and wage war on the rest of the body, which i'm pretty sure is what causes insomnia, and makes it difficult to sleep!" roared Gygax, flinging her most powerful anti-healing spell in at the general direction of the brazen dragon's nether regeions.
  596. 15:13 anneF Pupils darting around between the various foul-smelling, flesh-reeking goblins possessing the 'hob'-prefix, Korgora thinks back to the ages of being relentlessly pushed around by the same three people back in the old village and unleashes a strangled shriek. Lunging forward with of the floor, be-sandalled feet gathering speed, he swings one slender peg upwards to brutally connect with the enigmatic genitals of the cryptic shaman-dragon, not unlike a
  597. 15:13 anneF "MAY YOUR CHILDREN'S SCHOOLDAYS FOREVER BE DRAB!" he barks, unable to think of any greater curse than dull education.
  598. 15:14 Psy not unlike a
  599. 15:14 ing not unlike a
  600. 15:14 anneF an overly enthusiastic brony might thunderhump the testes of a twilight futanari doll.
  601. 15:14 Noser gonad cursing, insomnia redundance, on like, may, loaves, laughing at the fact that the character's name has now migrated entirely to gygax, anti-healing trait
  602. 15:15 Noser not sure if futanari doll was laugh or wince
  603. 15:15 anneF do i get double dice if it's both
  604. 15:15 Noser no
  605. 15:15 anneF aw
  606. 15:16 Noser ok
  607. 15:16 Noser deep breaths
  608. 15:16 Noser I can do this
  609. 15:17 *** TSI joined #qftte
  610. 15:17 *** Another_Work_Day joined #qftte
  611. 15:18 Noser enigmatic genitals, multiple smells, with of, may, peg, already mentioned futanari, is this the small village trait?
  612. 15:18 anneF yeah
  613. 15:18 Noser 7
  614. 15:18 danni Unperturbed by noxious smoke filling the room, Mzzzz'nda makes their way to handle the shaman first, hoping to aid his two (or three?) lung-possessing allies. "May your mother be ashamed of your wicked endeavors!" hooted Mzzzz'nda as xe crushed the shaman's loins into a bloody pull.
  615. 15:18 danni With a sense of monastic chivalry, Mzzzz'nda feared to directly combat the remaining warmaidens, and tapped their ring praying for a machination to deal with the wairmaidens in xir stead. Summoned was a warrior gnome, who was unceremoniously plucked from his He-Man Woman Haters Club meeting and sought to blame his unexplained teleportation on the warmaidens.
  616. 15:19 Another_Work_Day attack warmaidens with battle fedora
  617. 15:19 Noser loin attack, someone can help me out with pleonastic phrase I'm not seeing it...
  618. 15:20 Noser also not seeing preposition...
  619. 15:20 Noser may, pull for typo, I didn't quite laugh
  620. 15:20 Noser and ring trait obviously
  621. 15:20 Noser at least 4, peanut gallery help on the other two?
  622. 15:21 Noser I think just four for danni then
  623. 15:21 ing i don't see them, sorry
  624. 15:21 Noser Psy rolled *4*, *2*, 5, 3, *4*, *6*, *4*, for a total of 5 even dice.
  625. 15:21 Noser Anne rolled 1, *6*, *4*, *2*, *2*, *6*, *6*, for a total of 6 even dice.
  626. 15:21 Noser Danni rolled 3, *2*, 1, 3, for a total of 1 even die.
  627. 15:21 Noser Ing rolled *4*, 1, 5, *2*, 1, 3, *6*, for a total of 3 even dice.
  628. 15:21 Noser The party rolled a total of 15 even dice.
  629. 15:22 TSI c'mon danni
  630. 15:22 Noser The futanari warmaidens have been castrated and then gnomebludgeoned to death.
  631. 15:22 Noser The dragon attempts to change back into the form of the shaman, but misjudges its spell and simply explodes in a mass of guts.
  632. 15:23 Noser Streaked with crimson, the battlers proceed to the soup-pot and claim the Eye of Ensalada.
  633. 15:23 Psy \o/
  634. 15:23 ing yaaaaaaaay
  635. 15:23 Noser Come Godwakeday, the gods will not know that their treasure has been stolen, and they will not unleash a great flood upon the world like they did last year.
  636. 15:23 Noser indeed, the plains have been saved by these heroes, although their more immediate concern is probably taking a bath.
  637. 15:23 Noser ~FIN~
  638. 15:24 Psy wooo
  639. 15:24 danni hooray
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