Even More Delightful Premise

>You are Anonymous.
>It has not been long since you became stranded in Ponyville.
>You have managed to do reasonably well for yourself, however.
>You spend a lot of time working for Twilight Sparkle.
>She found a loophole in the law against experimenting with dangerous magic on ponies.
>It doesn't technically apply to humans.
>You have no idea where she gets the bits, but she pays well.
>You haven't even been injured yet. Not seriously, at least.
>The only thing that you are having difficulty adjusting to is the total unavailability of meat.
>You would kill for it, if you could find something to kill that didn't talk. It literally haunts your dreams.
>This is not the sort of thing that you can bring to the attention of your herbivorous hosts.

>Twilight answers your knock on the library door.
>"Anon! You are here early today. I like that kind of enthusiasm."
"Twilight, I have a toothache. Do you know any spells that can cure it?"
>"Sorry Anon, but your best course of action is to go to the vet."
"Why not the dentist?"
>"Don't be silly, Anon. Dentists are for ponies."
>Of course.
"Thanks anyway, Twilight."
>That is the last thing you wanted to hear.
>The vet is Fluttershy.
>Fluttershy has developed a crush on you.
>More of an obsession really.
>You aren't sure you would contemplate such a relationship even if you had given up all hope on returning home.
>Really you feel worse for her than for yourself.
>"Anon, would you be willing test out some spells before you go?"
>"This is the perfect opportunity for a few particular ones I have had in mind for a while now."
>"If your teeth get ruined you won't have to make any extra trips to get them fixed!"
"Sorry, Twilight. It's hard to argue with that reasoning, but I really need to get this taken care of fast."
>Get out while you still can.

>You present yourself at Fluttershy's cottage, which also serves as the veterinary clinic.
>Angel bunny shows you in, and has you fill out a medical questionnaire.
>Soon he takes you to the dental exam room.
>Fluttershy is ecstatic.
>"Angel, be a dear and cancel all of momma's appointments today."
>"Anon, please take a seat and tell me which tooth hurts."
>You are impressed/disturbed that she happens to have a human sized exam chair.
>"Oh you poor thing! You need to have that cavity filled right away."
>"You really should have come to see me much sooner!"
>She gently but forcefully holds a mask to your face
>Gas begins hissing ominously.
>You want to struggle, but before you can react effectively you feel...funny.
>You hear yourself giggle a little as the floor seems to fall away.
>Gradually you settle into the detached sensation of watching yourself from a distance.
>As Fluttershy fills your tooth she tells you all of the things you will do together when you get married.
>She has *really* thought about this.
>Fortunately her erect wings don't interfere with any of the equipment.

>When the procedure is finished Fluttershy climbs up on your lap and nuzzles your chest.
>"Anon, what a very brave human you have been today!"
>"I think you deserve a reward before the laughing gas wears off..."
>She moves in for a deep kiss...
>Try not to enjoy it...
>Enjoy it a lot.
>Shiver with pleasure as she grinds against you.
>Nibble on her ear...
>"Oh Anon, your teeth are so sharp!"
>Move on to her neck...
>Fluttershy gasps in ecstasy.
>Bite a little harder...
>"Ow Anon! Be more gentle. I feel like you are trying to eat me!"
"Don't worry Flutterhsy, humans don't eat ponies."
"They only eat cows... and pigs... and chickens... and fish..."
>You keep rambling under the effect of the gas.
>Fluttershy gets a horrified look and quickly jumps away from you.
>She stutters incoherently as she backs out of the room.

>Come to your senses.
>Decide that you have only one hope.
>Get to the library as fast as you can and lock the door behind you.
"Twilight, before I tell you this I want you to remember that I am an endangered species."
>She gives you a blank stare.
"Humans are apex predators."
>"Anon, are you trying to imply that you consume flesh!? How could you joke about something so revolting!?"
>"I truly expected better of you! Besides, the idea is not even remotely plausible."
>"If you had ever done that, Fluttershy would have learned about it immediately from her animal friends."
"I have not indulged myself since coming to Equestria."
>Explain the situation to Twilight.
>"Don't worry, Anon. I wouldn't let anything happen to my only lab monkey."
>"However, I need to write a letter to Princess Celestia."
>"Does anypony else know about this?"
"Only Fluttershy."
>"Good. Then we shouldn't have any trouble."
>"Spike is in town running errands. Wait here while I go find him."

>Within minutes Twilight rushes back into the library.
>"Anon, we have a problem."
>"When Fluttersy learned about your predilection she immediately set out to find me."
>"However, she encountered Rainbow Dash first, and thought she could get the message here faster.
>"Rainbow Dash was less sympatheic to your predicament, and things got a little out of hoof."
"How out of hoof?"
>"You need to sneak out the back before the angry mob gets here. I will do my best to misdirect them."
>Why does Rainbow Dash always have to be such a bitch?
>You don't get very far before the angry mob is hot on your trail.
>They chase you for hours.
>You manage to lose them in the Everfree forest, but collapse from exhaustion.

>The blistered land writhes in the sunless dawn.
>A dark equine silhouette approaches slowly in the distance.
>You are gradually overcome by a terrifying realization.
>You are struck by a grim realization.
>This is it.
>You have died and been sent to pony Hell.
>Your fate is endless torment at the diabolical hooves of the pony devil.
>You hope it doesn't involve Fluttershy.
>"Be at peace human. No harm will come to you within my domain."
>Princess Luna seems disconcerted by the way the smoldering horizon draws your gaze.
>"I was intrigued by Twilight Sparkle's reports of an unusual monster, but your dreams repulsed me."
>"I had come to believe you were a creature of perpetual nightmare.
>Her expression softens for a fleeting moment. "As once I was."
>"Now I appreciate your dilemma. I understand the distinction between darkness and desire."
>"Tonight you will have reprieve."