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Springtime for Aryanne, a (Semi-)Dark Comedy

Feb 28th, 2015
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  1. >You are Anonymous, and you're pretty happy with your girlfriend.
  2. >She's cute, smart, talented...
  3. >Only, one problem.
  4. >She's kind of a Nazi.
  5. >You didn't exactly get it at first, but apparently she's a pony Nazi.
  6. >Luckily, pony Nazis only want to enslave the other races.
  7. >As if that makes it any better.
  8. >But she is your girl, and you do feel bad nobody treats her well.
  9. >Deep down, she's not so bad. Maybe a little misguided.
  10. >You roll over and give her a hug.
  11. >"Mmm, not now Master Anon."
  12. >Oh, and that adorable German accent.
  13. "I thought I told you to stop calling me that, I'm nobody's master."
  14. >"Hehe, sorry Anon, force of habit."
  15. >She gives you a peck on the lips.
  16. >You'd have to bring up the fact that her Cutie Mark could also mean peace someday.
  17. >Maybe she's secretly an ambassador and that's why she's so bad at this Nazi thing.
  18. >There IS a heart around it, it makes some sort of sense.
  19. >You roll out of bed and land on your feet.
  20. >You're like a cat.
  21. >Annie hops onto your back and wraps her hooves around you.
  22. >"Where are we going today?"
  23. >You chuckle, she was always so enthusiastic.
  24. "Well first, we're going to the diner to get something to eat."
  25. >"The one with the really good burgers?"
  26. "That's the one."
  27. >She squeezes you, "Oh Anon, you are too good to me!"
  28. "Ah don't mention it, you took me in after all."
  29. >You still didn't know why she did that.
  30. "I thought you'd hate my species."
  31. >You hear her breath hitch a little.
  32. >"Ah, well... I suppose I was curious, and you certainly don't deserve to be a slave."
  33. >You can hear her whisper, "Not like those filthy Pegasi."
  34. >She kisses your neck, "Anyway, I've grown fond of you. Enough talk, let us go to the burgers!"
  35.  
  36. >You'd told some of your friends that you wanted an intervention for her.
  37. >Hopefully they'd talk some sense into her before she got herself thrown in jail.
  38. >You order a couple of burgs and sit down with the crew.
  39. "Hey Veronika, Amber, Maple."
  40. >"Good morning comrade, I see you brought the slave driver with you."
  41. >"I see you're still a worthy opponent, Veronika."
  42. >She mumbles, "Still have bigger tits too."
  43. >You give her a kiss on the cheek.
  44. "You know I'm not leaving you, I've come this far for you."
  45. >She blushes, "Thank you, Anonymous."
  46. >"I see she's still being a... what did you call those Griffons, Anon?"
  47. "Bitches?"
  48. >"Yes, she's still being a bitch. Good bar fight with those Griffs, by the way."
  49. >"Come on sis, there's no need to be so rude."
  50. >"Ah, the only two Pegasi worth my respect. How are you?"
  51. >"We're FINE, thanks for asking."
  52. >Maple gives Amber a hug, "Shh, calm down."
  53. >"Sorry Maple, I know you don't like it when I get violent."
  54. >"But I certainly do, you're quite cute when you're angry."
  55. >She gives you a hug, "Not as cute as my Anon, but still."
  56. >"He's not your Anon, mein freund."
  57. >Veronika spit out some sarcasm at the end.
  58. >"Don't mock my Germane heritage!"
  59. "Calm down everyone! I called them here for an intervention."
  60. >"You mean we're finally talking some sense into them?"
  61. "No, they're talking some into you."
  62. >"I don't understand."
  63. "I can't keep worrying about you getting locked up for life."
  64. >"That won't happen once the land is under Earth Pony rule."
  65. "Wake up Aryanne, it isn't happening! There's more to you than that, I know it."
  66. >"I could so take over the world, have you seen this adorable face?"
  67. "What if I told you that your Cutie Mark might represent peace?"
  68. >"Well... I guess that would explain why my plans haven't worked out."
  69. "Come on guys, back me up here."
  70.  
  71. >"Well, I guess she is pretty good at riling me up. Might work in reverse, I suppose."
  72. >"She can be pretty sweet when she's not insulting us."
  73. >"I wouldn't mind having her at my back, she's not all bad."
  74. >Annie gets a little red, "Oh stop it girls, you make me blush."
  75. "I just don't want to see you get yourself hurt."
  76. >"As if I would ever be defeated."
  77. "Rainbow Dash almost put you into a piledriver once."
  78. >"It was a simple miscalculation, it wouldn't happen again."
  79. "Annie, she's the fastest Pegasus around."
  80. >"I'm still the most skillful though."
  81. >"Amber, you aren't even in the Wonderbolts."
  82. >She hushes Maple, "Don't bring that up."
  83. >"Oh, sorry."
  84. >You wrap your hand around her hoof.
  85. "I just want you to know that there's more out there for you. I care about you."
  86. >"Even if you're right, I can't just walk up to our Princess and ask about this."
  87. >"Why not comrade? You've never cared what society thinks of you."
  88. >She fidgets a little, "I don't like being wrong."
  89. "You're afraid you made a mistake, and that's fine. If you want, I could help you patch up things."
  90. >She wraps her hoof around your arm, "I think I would like that..."
  91. >She kisses you, "Thank you Anon."
  92. >"What are we? A bale of hay?"
  93. >She gives Amber a bored stare, "And thank you, my friends."
  94. >"Well I'll be, she CAN call a Pegasus a friend!"
  95. >"Don't push your luck, take some lessons on manners from your sister sometime."
  96. "So who do you want to apologize to first?"
  97. >She taps her chin, "I think we should start with the quiet one with all the animals."
  98. "Fluttershy? Probably a good idea. Start out easy."
  99. >You let her jump on your back.
  100. "I know the way, let's go!"
  101. >You leave your share of the bill and say your goodbyes to the others.
  102. >"You really are too good to me, Anon."
  103. "I keep telling you, don't mention it."
  104. >"But why help a pony like me?"
  105. "Cause I believe in second chances, and that's why I believe in you."
  106.  
  107. >You knock on Fluttershy's door.
  108. >She was a kindly Pegasus, she'd be understanding.
  109. >She accepted Discord for who he was, after all.
  110. >"Please hold on, I'm coming!"
  111. >The door opens and she gives you a smile.
  112. >"Hello Anon!"
  113. >She shrinks a little, "Hi there, Aryanne."
  114. >You let Annie off your back and she does a nervous little dance.
  115. >"Good morning, ah... Fluttershy, was it?"
  116. >Flutters looks up through her mane, "Um, yes."
  117. "My friends and I managed to talk some sense into her, she wants to apologize."
  118. >You push her forward, giving her an encouraging smile.
  119. "We figured since you became Discord's friend that it'd be a good idea to visit you first."
  120. >A flash of light appeared.
  121. >"Did someone call for me? Oh! Hello Anon, how's it been? Are we still on for lunch next month?"
  122. "Yes, we are Discord. Don't worry, I only have nice things to say about you."
  123. >He gives you a hug, "I do so enjoy having someone who can appreciate my work!"
  124. >A watch appears on his wrist, "Well, I have to get back to Celestia, toodles!"
  125. >Just as quick as he came, he was gone.
  126. >Fluttershy inched her way up to Annie and gave her a hug.
  127. >She flinched, "W-why are you doing this? I've been awful to you."
  128. >"Sometimes we all just need to be shown a little kindness."
  129. >"You're starting to sound like Anon over there."
  130. >She giggles, "Maybe you should listen to him more then."
  131. >"Heh, perhaps I should do some more listening."
  132. >She clears her throat and smiles, "Anyway, I guess I'm..."
  133. >You can practically hear her swallow her pride.
  134. >"I'm sorry, for everything."
  135. >"It's okay, I forgive you."
  136. >"Just like that?"
  137. >Fluttershy giggles some more, "Not everypony holds grudges, Aryanne."
  138. "Which is why I think we should go apologize to Pinkie next."
  139. >"That sounds like a good idea, what do you think Fluttershy?"
  140. >"I think she's a good choice, if I were you I'd save Rainbow Dash for last."
  141. "I'd planned on it."
  142.  
  143. >Ponies were still coming in for a late breakfast at Sugarcube Corner.
  144. >Annie was nervous walking in, all eyes on her.
  145. >Pinkie, blissfully unaware of the situation, bounded towards the two of you.
  146. >"Hi there Nonny! Oh, hey Annie! How's it hangin'?"
  147. >It seemed like the temperature in the room fell.
  148. >"H-hello there Pinkie, truth be told I've been better."
  149. >She frowned, "Why? What's got you feeling down?"
  150. >Everybody had their eyes locked on the scene, glaring Aryanne down.
  151. >Well, except for Derpy, who just smiled and waved.
  152. >You gave her a little smile back and a thumbs up.
  153. >She looked pleased, and went back to her morning muffin.
  154. "She came here to apologize."
  155. >Some of the ponies gasped, most of them just started laughing.
  156. "Could you guys not? Please?"
  157. >They just kept laughing.
  158. "Hey! Quiet down!"
  159. >Sadly, it was no use. Looks like you'd have to get loud.
  160. "SHUT UP! WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES, AT LEAST SHE'S TRYING TO MAKE AMENDS!"
  161. >They all looked down at their plates, some of them rubbing their necks.
  162. >"Wow Nonny, you're pretty loud! I bet you don't even need a megaphone!"
  163. >You can feel yourself blush, you didn't like to yell.
  164. >It was harder for you to be quiet than it was to be loud.
  165. >You had a voice that naturally carried across rooms.
  166. >You sit her down and let her walk over to Pinkie.
  167. >"I... apologize for insulting your friends."
  168. >Pinkie gives her a big hug, "Aw don't mention it! I'm just glad you figured out your real talent!"
  169. >"Wha- how did you?"
  170. >"Seriously, I thought you were just having a bad day, then I realized that you were having an awful lot of bad days."
  171. >She gives Annie a pat on the head, "Then I thought to myself, 'Ooooh! So she didn't quite get her Cutie Mark!' duh!"
  172. >"It seemed obvious to me but I guess you read too many history books."
  173. >She pauses, "No wait, those are Nonny's history books, nevermind."
  174. "R-right... we're just gonna go apologize to Rarity now."
  175. >"Okay bye! Have fun!"
  176.  
  177. >Knocking on Rarity's door, you wait for her to invite you in.
  178. >"Good morning Anon!... I thought your little marefriend didn't need my 'filthy magic'?"
  179. "You wouldn't happen to have any tea, would you?"
  180. >She grins, "Of course dear! Just make sure she doesn't burn my house down."
  181. >Damn it Rarity, don't joke about burning.
  182. >"I cook with gas, after all. Seems like something she'd be into."
  183. >NOT. HELPING. RARITY.
  184. "Could you please not talk about my darling like that?"
  185. >You could feel Annie's heartrate increase.
  186. >"I'm your darling?"
  187. >She nuzzles you, "That's sweet of you... dear."
  188. >Stepping inside, you kick your shoes off and follow Rares.
  189. >"Very well then, you still haven't told me why she's here."
  190. >You sigh, this was gonna be a long day.
  191. "She came here to apologize."
  192. >Rarity lets out a half-chuckle, half-snort.
  193. >"Forgive me Anonymous, but what brought that on? An intervention?"
  194. "... Actually yes, our friends and I talked to her this morning."
  195. >"... Oh, I apologize for being so rude. It wasn't right to be so presumptuous."
  196. >You all sat down to drink some tea.
  197. >Rarity made bomb-ass tea.
  198. >You didn't even really like tea and it was still good.
  199. "I've tried a lot of tea, your tea is the only kind that I've enjoyed."
  200. >"Well thank you darling, I try my best."
  201. >She sits her cup down.
  202. >"I'm still waiting on that apology, dear."
  203. >Annie blushes a little, "I'm sorry for being a jerk."
  204. >Sweetie Belle runs into the room and falls over trying to backpedal.
  205. >Aryanne runs over to help her up.
  206. >"Are you hurt? Oh this is my fault for scaring you, please don't hate me!"
  207. >You can see the gears turning in Sweetie's head.
  208. >She wraps her hooves around her neck and gives her a hug.
  209. >"I dunno why you're being nice, but I like you better this way."
  210. >"T-thank you... Anon? Can we apologize to Applejack next?"
  211. "Of course."
  212. >You thank Rarity for the tea and head off.
  213. >"... I wouldn't mind having children someday."
  214. "One thing at a time, Annie."
  215.  
  216. >You trekked through Sweet Apple Acres.
  217. >You could get a workout just walking around the place.
  218. >"Are we there yet, Anon?"
  219. "Well the last fifty-seven times you asked that we weren't."
  220. >You set her down.
  221. "But now, we are!"
  222. >"You kept track?"
  223. "I like listening to your voice."
  224. >She blushes, "D-danke."
  225. >You ruffle her mane.
  226. "You too, for being there for me."
  227. >You can hear kicking going on.
  228. >You sneak up behind AJ and catch one of her apples.
  229. >"Now listen here you- Oh, howdy Anon."
  230. >She squints, "What is that hussy doing here?"
  231. >Annie winces, "I-"
  232. "She's here to apologize, I've said that a lot today."
  233. >You crouch down, face to face with AJ.
  234. "What I haven't said a lot is to back off of her. She deserves a second chance."
  235. >The farmpony stares you down.
  236. >"Well, I reckon if you think so then she's alright. I can tell you're being serious here."
  237. >"I'm sorry, I don't know how I could make it up to you."
  238. >"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to, Dash nearly broke you."
  239. >She picks up the baskets of apples, "If'n you wanna work though, I can always use an extra hoof or two 'round here."
  240. "That went better than expected. Wanna go apologize to Twilight next?"
  241. >"She's not a mare of many words, is she?"
  242. "Oh no she's full of them."
  243. >She gives you a deadpan stare.
  244. "I know you meant Applejack, come on now."
  245. >The two of you are off once again.
  246. >"I appreciate you defending my honor. You didn't have to do that."
  247. "What kind of lover would I be if I didn't?"
  248. >"You are too nice for your own good, Anon."
  249. "I try."
  250.  
  251. >You make your way to the big fucking crystal tree in the middle of town.
  252. >That thing is super gaudy.
  253. >Not wasting any time, you look around for Twi.
  254. "Yo, Twilight!"
  255. >Searching the castle, you keep shouting for her.
  256. "Hey homegirl, where you at?"
  257. >You look under her bed, not sure what you'd really find.
  258. "Bookhorse, you here?"
  259. >You feel silly when you realize she's in her own personal library.
  260. "What's up Purple Smart?"
  261. >You can hear her giggling, she turns around trying to put on a serious face.
  262. >"What's with all those nicknames?"
  263. "Hey I get bored sometimes."
  264. >"I suppose you're here for the next volume of Equestrian History?"
  265. "Not quite, I brought her here to apologize."
  266. >Annie hides behind you, "H-hi."
  267. >"If I could have her banished, I would. She's worse than Discord used to be!"
  268. >He teleports in, popcorn at the ready.
  269. >"Don't mind me, I'm just here to watch."
  270. >He stuffs his face full of the stuff.
  271. "That's not a very friendly thing to do."
  272. >"She's as bad as Sombra as far as I'm concerned."
  273. "You saying you'd kill her too?"
  274. >"Of course not! I'm not a monster."
  275. "Oh, so Sombra's little accident doesn't concern you? What about Tirek?"
  276. >"It couldn't be helped, and Tirek is locked up."
  277. "Personally, I would've killed him too."
  278. >"Anonymous! How could you do such a thing?"
  279. >"Yes Anon, I thought you believed in second chances?"
  280. "Tirek had his chance, and he stabbed his own brother in the back!"
  281. >You slam your hand against a wall.
  282. "If you can do that to your own family, YOUR OWN SIBLING! What makes you think he'd care about friends?"
  283. >You take a deep breath.
  284. "There are some lines you just don't cross, and Tirek went off the deep end."
  285. >You grin.
  286. "Plus Tirek was kind of a manchild, honestly. 'Weh, I want all da powah cuz it's mine cuz I said so!' isn't very villainous."
  287. >"So what exactly is your point, Anonymous?"
  288.  
  289. "My point is that she deserves a shot at redemption."
  290. >"Y-you're the Princess of Friendship and... well, I could use some friends."
  291. >"I don't know, what do you think Discord?"
  292. >His eyes widen and burst, then he regrows them.
  293. >"You want MY input? I'm touched."
  294. >He pulls out a handkerchief and wipes a tear from his eye.
  295. >"Personally, I think she should be forgiven."
  296. >"And why is that?"
  297. >"Well, first of all."
  298. >He turns his face into Twilight's.
  299. >"I'm the Princess of Friendship! I'm so into friends! I love it when you brush my mane! Isn't it amazing?!"
  300. >He reverts back, "I presume you want to do your job?"
  301. >"Of course I do!"
  302. >"Second thing..."
  303. >He turns into you, except with horrible fashion sense. Or great, you're not sure which.
  304. >"This guy knows what he's talking about. Listen to the smart guy."
  305. >"I'm smart too!"
  306. >He reverts back.
  307. >"Thing number C."
  308. >He turns into Celestia.
  309. >"I'd be disappointed in you otherwise. Also I have a nice butt."
  310. >"She does not- actually, I guess she does."
  311. >He turns back into himself, and grins.
  312. >"So there you have it, give her a chance. I gotta get back to massaging Celestia."
  313. >"Alright, thanks Discord... hey, wait a minute!"
  314. >"Ta-ta!"
  315. >He teleports away.
  316. >"What has Celestia got him doing?"
  317. "I dunno, sounds like she's having fun."
  318. >You smile.
  319. "He could turn his hands into the perfect tools to massage."
  320. >"I need a trip to the spa after this."
  321. "We aren't that bad, are we?"
  322. >"You aren't, they are."
  323. >She sighs, "But I guess I'll give you a second chance."
  324. >Annie gives her a hug, "I'll try not to disappoint, my Princess!"
  325. >Twi wraps a hoof around her, "Please, just call me Twilight. It's what my friends call me."
  326. "Well, we gotta get going. There's one more pony she needs to apologize to."
  327. >"Is it who I think it is?"
  328. "Oh yeah, her."
  329. >Twilight gives you a shield.
  330. >"Don't be afraid to use it, she's flown into harder things and lived."
  331.  
  332. >You step under Rainbow Dash's house.
  333. "Yo Dash! You up there?"
  334. >She's already beside you by the time you ask.
  335. >"Hey man, how's it going?... YOU!"
  336. >You've already pulled the shield in front of you and blocked her way to Aryanne.
  337. >"Cut it out! Lemme at her!"
  338. >She keeps swinging her hooves, trying to hurt her.
  339. "DASH!"
  340. >"WHAT?!"
  341. "She's here to apologize!"
  342. >"I DON'T CARE!"
  343. >You bash her in the face with the shield.
  344. "What about now?"
  345. >She rubs her muzzle, "Okay fine, jeez you didn't have to hit me y'know?"
  346. >You help her up.
  347. "Actually, I kinda did."
  348. >"Heh, sorry. Guess I got carried away, huh?"
  349. "Does it look like I care? Look at her!"
  350. >Annie was cowering behind you.
  351. >"I'm sorry, please don't hurt me."
  352. >"What's gotten into her?"
  353. "I've spent all day getting your friends to apologize to her. She's terrified of you, even if she won't admit it."
  354. >"She should be, after what she said to me."
  355. "Dash, she got her Cutie Mark confused. She's supposed to be about peace."
  356. >"I'll give her a piece of my mind, maybe even my hooves!"
  357. >You smack her.
  358. "Stop that, seriously."
  359. >"Alright, alright!... Could you do that again?"
  360. >You sigh, of course she'd get off on pain.
  361. "Look, can you just calm her down?"
  362. >"Alright, but I'm only doing this for you. You tell anyone about this gushy stuff and I'll deny it."
  363. >Dash walks over to Annie and wraps her hooves around her.
  364. >"Shh, don't worry. It's okay, I forgive you."
  365. >"Please don't kill me."
  366. >She snorts, "You think I wanted to kill you? Nah, I just wanted to beat some sense into you."
  367. >She winces, goddamnit Dash.
  368. >"I'm sorry, please don't hurt me."
  369. >She gives her ear a kiss.
  370. >"Don't make me feel so bad, you're acting like I'm an evil overlord that Daring Do has to fight."
  371. >"I'm sorry."
  372. >"Don't mention it, just get home and go to sleep."
  373. >"Thank you."
  374. >"No problem, just fly straight from now on, alright?"
  375. >"Yes ma'am."
  376. >Dash looks at you, "My job here is done, time to go back to napping."
  377.  
  378. >You carried Annie back in your arms.
  379. >She napped the whole way.
  380. >Her face was soft, her features cute.
  381. >She had a small smile on her face.
  382. >It was moments like these that reminded you why you put up with her.
  383. >You made sure not to wake her up as you made your way to the bedroom.
  384. >Sitting her on the bed, you change into your night clothes.
  385. >You pull the covers over her and crawl into bed beside her.
  386. >"Mmmm, Anon? We're here already?"
  387. >You pull her in for a kiss.
  388. >The two of you just lay there for a while.
  389. >Finally, you break the kiss.
  390. >"My, what was that for?"
  391. "I was reminded why I love you."
  392. >She blushed, "Say that again."
  393. "What? I love you?"
  394. >"Again."
  395. "I love you, Aryanne."
  396. >"Nopony has ever said that before, thank you."
  397. >She snuggles up next to you.
  398. >"I love you too, Anonymous."
  399. >You drape your arm over her and pull her in.
  400. "It's been a busy day."
  401. >She kisses your chest, then your neck, your cheek, and your lips.
  402. >"Is this what it feels like to be... nice? It's a feeling I could get used to."
  403. >You nuzzle her head.
  404. "Yeah, yeah it is. I'm glad you like it."
  405. >"It feels... warm."
  406. >You give her a smile.
  407. "I could see if Nurse Redheart can find us something to help with the kid thing."
  408. >Her eyes sparkle a little.
  409. >"I would... very much enjoy that in our future, Anon."
  410. "Alright then, let's go to sleep."
  411. >You give her a peck.
  412. "Love you Annie."
  413. >"Love you too, Nonny."
  414.  
  415. The End.
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