Suicide in Equestria - Pinkie Pie

(Originally written Oct. 25 2014)

>Grim thoughts flood your mind as you lie on the couch, pondering for hours about how the consequences of your decision
>This wasn't exactly the life you had bargained for
>Almost every pony and stallion you've come across seems to either disdain your existence or be completely afraid of you
>Some mares even choose to find another route if they cross your path while walking their foals
>The foals always were the most curious, but whenever you were caught talking to one, you were only met with sharp, contemptuous glares
>Some ponies even threatened you to stay away from them and their children by "going back to where you belong"
>But they didn't understand at all
>You didn't feel as if you'd ever belong anywhere, and they weren't helping that sentiment
>You let out a defeated sigh
"I guess this is it then, another life gone to shit. Shouldn't have expected any different."
>You proceed towards your bedroom, where you'd already set up your means of execution
>In an attempt to keep the thoughts off of your mind and rethink this, you had tried sleeping on your couch that night
>The effort was as futile as seemingly about any other you'd made since you ended up in Equestria
>As you stand at the entrance of the room, prepared to open the door, a tear runs down your cheek
>You didn't know what could be next for you after this
>In your past life you had so desperately wanted to live in Equestria
>But after the experience of this reality, you didn't know what more you wanted than to just begone
>Reaching for the doorknob, a feeling of sickness emerges from within you
>You hesitate and fight back the urge to have you last round of waterworks in this world
>You've had enough of this miserable place
>You grit your teeth and grab the knob, throwing the door open and switching the light on
>"Surprise!"
>Confetti flies at you from seemingly all directions and streamers rain down on you

>Your room has been outfitted with an array of celebratory decorations
>A jug of punch and a decorative cake sat on your dresser, while pink table cloths covered pretty much every bare surface that wasn't the floor
>The confetti and balloons did a decent job of covering that themselves
>The noose you had in the center of the room was not supporting a pinata
>Your eyes once again meet with the ecstatic pink pony
"Pinkie... What are you doing here?"
>She stares at you, bemused
>"What do you mean what am I doing here? How could I possibly miss your first birthday here in Ponyville?"
>Fuck. You'd almost completely forgotten the fact that your birthday is today
"Is... anyone else here?"
>"Nope. Everypony else said they had a packed schedule when I invited them, but most of them said maybe next year! One pony even said she'd come if you moved 'six feet under.' But I told her that the party would be a blast no matter where we had it! I think she just has a fear of heights or something."
>You stand there, looking at the ground
>Were you happy or sad over the fact that nobody else besides this oblivious mare showed up for your birthday?
>Pinkie Pie was one of the only ponies you'd gotten to have a full conversation with since your arrival
>She was also one of the only ones to greet you, if not only by default
>Every newcomer resident of Ponyville was appointed to meet the fabled Twilight and her companions
>Unsurprisingly however, Pinkie and Twilight were the only two that seemed to have any interest in you
>Twilight had once asked if she could document you sometime, but you'd declined on the presumptuous notion that her duties and position as royalty could prove problematic concerning other relations
>Pinkie, on the other hand, was just brimming with questions; annoyingly so
>While under her interrogation, you had apparently slipped it to her that your birthday would be rolling around soon
>Still, somehow you weren't expecting her to make an appearance tonight

"Well thank you for the pleasant surprise Pinkie, but I'm afraid I am in no mood to really... celebrate."
>She tilts her head at you
>"What do you mean Anon? Everyone should celebrate on their birthday silly! If you're not in the mood right now, I'm sure you will be after you try some of this cake I made! It took me hours to get it just right but I-"
"No."
>Your interruption causes Pinkie to raise her brow
>"No?"
"Yes."
>"Yes?"
>She smiles at you, with genuine, gleeful ignorance and quickly dashes to grab a plate with a slice of cake
>You pinch between your eyes and let out a long sigh
"Pinkie..."
>You open your eyes to see her sitting on her haunches before you with the cake perched atop her head
>"At least try it... please. I worked really hard on it for you."
>You stare at the delicious dessert surmounting her, then you look her in the eyes
>She was smiling, but this one was conspicuously faltering
>It was evident that she wasn't confident in persuading you to try, as she knew as well as you did that you wanted to be left alone on your birthday even though she wanted to help make your first one here special
>You roll your eyes and accept the plate she presented you
>She smiles, apparently reassured by your decision
>You casually give the slice a sniff, which quickly gets your mouth watering
>All you need is a fork
>Peering around the room for one, your eyes once again meet with Pinkie's
>She gestures by imitating you eating the slice of cake face-first
>"Like this Anon. Mmm mmm mmm!"
>You rub the back of your neck and blush a little, taking her demonstration into consideration
>Her smile lasts, with those beautiful blue eyes enticing you more than they should
"Ah, what the hell."

>Chomp after chomp, you devour the cake savagely
>Pinkie watches on in pure excitement
>As chunks of cake and icing fly at her and coat her face partially, her smile doesn't yield
>You lick your lips as you finish your treat, a goofy smile plastered on your face
>The cake itself was probably the best you've ever tasted
>But that wasn't the interesting part
>It made you feel... warm inside
>Like there was something still there within you, beckoning you to let Pinkie stay for a while longer
"That was splendid Pinkie, thank you."
>She joyfully giggles and waves her hoof in a gesture of 'pshaw'
>"Thanks! I've gotten a ton of practice at Sugarcube Corner, but I made this cake super-duper extra special for your first birthday here!"
"Well thanks again Pinkie. This has surely been the best time I've had since-"
>"I bet the others can't wait to hear about this! I mean, how often does this sorta thing happen in 'Ponyville' anyway? This has got toe be the best human birthday ever!"
>Your smile quickly disintegrated while the warm feeling you had in your gut went frigid upon hearing about the other ponies
>As the spiteful thoughts returned ot you, Pinkie's excitement turns to concern as she notices you sulking
>"Anon? Are you o-"
"I'm fine."
>Pinkie sighs, both relieved and satisfied with this answer
"But I think it's about time you left."
>She seems stunned by your change of demeanor
>"Anon... is something wrong?"
>As she asks, you grit your teeth and turn away from her to proceed to the front door
"Not at all Pinkie. Don't worry about the decorations, I'll clean those up myself."
>You open the door and stand beside it, politely directing her to exit
>"But..."
"Please. I have business to attend to. I've been... procrastinating."

>You avoid looking at her as you speak from the front doorway, which only manages to increase her concern
>Still, she wasn't looking to try your patience given your current attitude
>She approaches the door, glum that you've decided to cut the party short, but halts before she passes the threshold
>"Anon... can I ask you one more thing before I go?"
"What is it Pinkie?"
>She briefly pauses and stares into your bedroom
>"My pinata..."
"What do you want to keep it? I can take it down for you."
>"No, it's not that, it's just... when I got here, the rope holding it up was already there."
>You swallow your guilt and try to remain calm in your response
"So? For all you know it's an apparatus for my exercise routine."
>"It's not that I don't believe you Anon, but I know I've seen this... before."
>She looks at you, prompting you to avert your gaze
>"I've seen it Anon. And the last time I did, somepony ended up in the hospital. And after that..."
>Her voice breaks a little as she fails to complete her sentence
>As you're looking away, you hear her sniffle
>You turn to see tears rolling down her face
>Her hair has lost its volume, and her gaze is still locked on the noose in your bedroom
"Pinkie..."
>She responds by turning her head to you and blinking as more tears escape her
>"Please talk to me Anon. That's all I'm asking for. Tell me what's going on and I'll leave. But don't you dare send me out that door with nothing but lies to think about!"
>As she raises her voice in anger, you are once again ashamed of yourself
>You can't look her in the face as you reply
"I'm sorry Pinkie. There is nothing I want to share with you. Now, if you would please leave."
>You fold your arms and turn away from her, apparently done with the conversation
>"No. I'm staying right here until you tell me. Why are you making this so difficult? Other ponies would-"
"Other ponies?"
>Fond memories of your experiences with the citizens resurfaced in full force
>Your patience just ran out

"Okay, you want me to tell you something? I don't care about them. Any of them. And I don't know if you've noticed, but they don't care about me either. They hate me. Since I showed up, they always have. It's not easy living with ponies that either want nothing to do with you or want nothing more than to make your life a living hell."
>Pinkie opens her mouth to speak, looking miserable from listening to your rant
"Oh no, I'm not done yet; that just brings me to my main point: I don't fucking belong here. At all. And I never will. I'm a goddamn outcast Pinkie. That's all I'll ever be here. The oddball of the fucking century. So while you might still think you can 'help me,' I know from experience that trying to better my relations with these assholes isn't going to do me any good. So you can reserve your efforts, and while you're at it, you can do me one favor."
>You kneel down to speak with her eye to eye
"Get out."
>She reacts by facing the ground as more of her tears find their way onto the floor
>You wait for a moment, expecting her to make her exit eventually
"... Well? Are yo-"
>She immediately stands up to hug you
>You are taken completely by surprise
>You feel angry at first, but that feeling dissipates as you hear her sniffling while she adjusts the tightness of her hold on you
>The next thing you feel is regret
>Your eyes begin to water as your reciprocate the caring embrace
"I'm sorry Pinkie..."
>"I didn't know Anon... I'm sorry too."
>She lightens her hold on you to look you in the eyes
>"I'm going to fix this somehow. I'll talk to ponies and convince them to give you a fair chance. Maybe I can help you get a better job too... but I won't let you suffer like this. Now I know what's going on."
>She leans against you, smiling
>"Life is gonna get better for you here Anon, I promise. But I want you to promise me that you'll never... try this again."
>You lean your head against hers
"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

>She looks confused
>"That's my swear... but how did you-"
"It was one of the first things you showed me when you greeted me. You 'Pinkie Pie Promised' me that I'd love it here."
>"Oh... right."
>She looks away, dejectedly
>"Sorry I didn't really keep my promise."
>You gently raise her chin up
"But you did Pinkie. Even with all the thoughtlessness and impolite interactions I've had with many of the residents here, I can't say I hate it for obvious reasons."
>"But... I don't..."
"I love it here because of you Pinkie."
>She stares at you, speechless
"I've been thinking about ending it for days now, but something inside of me just... didn't want to let go of hope. Hope that I still mattered to someone, anyone beneath all of the... oppression. I think part of me was hoping to see an angel today. And I did."
>You gently move her hair from her face to reveal both of her lovely blue eyes
"I have you to thank for that."
>"Anon... I don't know what to..."
"That's okay. I do."
>You stand and close the front door, then extend a hand to help her up
"Let's fucking party."
>Her eyes widen and her smile widens as she springs up into your arms, her mane regaining its mirthful poofiness
>"Let's DO IT!"
>Your face runs a shade of crimson, prompting her to think about what she said, which compels her face to run red as well
>"Oh... I meant..."
"I know what you meant!"
>"But I mean, maybe sometime..." she says while twirling her mane with her hoof, her blush deepening
>You both stare at each other
>Awkward silence has joined the room
"So... since it's still my birthday... mayb-"
>Pinkie cuts you off with a kiss, but breaks it disappointingly early, and starts to giggle
>"Yes."
>awshitnigga.png

>You awake as the morning sunshine hits your eyelids
>You rub your eyes and notice the placid pink mare still asleep beside you
>She had her arms around you all night
>But now you have to pee
>You try to delicately slip her hooves of of you, but that only makes her grasp tighten
>Scratching your head, you try once again
>This time her clench is almost nonexistent
>You slip out easily
>Shrugging at the silly happening, you sit up at the edge of the bed and throw a shirt on
>You take a moment to stare out of the window and smile
>Today's the start of something novel
>Something inspiring
>Something... has your hand
>You look beside you to see your right hand soundly held captive by Pinkie's hoof
>Before you can turn around to face her, she reaches out to pull you over
"Pinkie! I have to p-"
>She pulls you in for a long, relaxing good morning kiss while she wraps her hooves around you
>Your delight with the situation is only contested by your need to use the bathroom
>Finally, she breaks the kiss and stares at you, her lovely teeth and eyes glistening in the morning sunlight
>"Good morning!"
"P... Pinkie..."
>"Yes Anon?"
"I..."
>You stare deeper into her eyes
"... have to pee."
>"Oh! Why didn't you say so silly?"
>She quickly rolls off of you to lie back down
>"Go ahead, but don't be too long! I'll be waiting!"
>You stand up and race toward the bathroom, but stop before you leave the room
"Oh, and another thing."
>"Hm?"
"Love you Pinks."
>"Love you too Anon."
>You both exchange a loving smile before you reembark to the bathroom to figure out how you're going to pee with a boner