S&C Plastics

//In the Foundation, you can't afford to pull punches. If you make an assumption, expect it to fly back in your face before you can say "Skipper". Hell, do you know how many tests they have to run in this place? It's a laundry list bigger than my forearm. I don't know which poor tuna head they got to do the tests, but I'm glad it ain't me.//

- Overheard from within the Site-87 administrative washroom.
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Researcher Brian Cohen stood above the slightly luminescent nacho bowl classified as E-00043. Currently, it was being bombarded with radiation, to see how it would react to it. This was always the worst part of the job. Every time a new  shiny diet cola or infinite curdle dispenser came along, he had to test it for every type of unforeseen anomaly under the sun.

There were tests to see if it reacted to water, a test for gravitational force, tests to determine whether or not it could cause a massive heart failure to someone sitting on it... basically, if a Level 4 could imagine it, he'd have to test it. Brian checked his watch, and sighed. Only about 104 tests left to go...

> TEST NUMBER: 196
> OBJECT: E-00043 "Shiny Bowl"
> CURRENT TEST: Testing for "Rage State"
> TEST PROCEDURE:

Brian slouched in his chair, lazily pawing for a bag of pretzels as D-5611 entered the chamber. Fumbling for the mic, he pressed his cheese dust-encrusted fingers to the intercom button.

"Please insert the nacho you were given into E-00043, and eat it."

The orange jumpsuit clad woman looked over to the sparkling snack receptacle, then back to the intercom.

"You being serious right now?"

"Yes. Just, uh, drop it in for a couple seconds, and then eat it."

She shrugged. "Whatever. You're the boss, I guess." There was a slight clink, followed by a crunch.

Brian watched her for a minute, going over the rage state checklist. Subject was not suddenly gaining additional muscle mass, or attempting to exit the test chamber. Subject had not threatened to "spill the blood of ten thousand wasps into your accursed soul." Brian leaned into the mic.

"Yo, D-Class. How you feel?"

Inside the test chamber, the orange-clad woman shrugged. "Same, I guess."

> RESULT: E-00043 was determined not to cause a rage state in human subjects.

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Brian glanced at the clock, regretting the decision as soon as he turned his head. Three in the morning, jesus fuckin' christ. Looking around the cluttered, snack-wrapper laden observation chamber, he sighed, and slapped his palm onto the intercom button.

"Send in... you remember which one we're on?"

"Two hundred twenty three, I think." crackled the speaker.

"Send, uh, that one in then."


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TESTS FOR:

See if it changed your thoughts if you put it on your head(They make a guy wear it like a hat)

Cumulative exposure(They make a guy wear it over his face all day)

Memetic Hazard(some guy stands next to it)

Dog Vigor:(I am Dog. All is one in Dog. This mighty body is my church. When I command you to roll over, I speak with three billion barks. When I lift a paw to crush your resistance, it is with three billion paws. When I stare into your eyes and shatter your dreams and break your heart, it is with six billion eyes! Nothing like Dog has ever come among you: Nothing will again. I will take you to a hell without exit or end. And there I will murder your souls! And make you crawl and beg! And die! Die! Die for Dog!) - credit to silber

Seeing if it causes acne in sharks

Last test is to see if it reacts to being full of chips, which causes it to suddenly fill the test chamber with chips.