#Flarp2 - Session 12

<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** The adventurers wakes up in their oddball sleeping places, the sun dawning a new day in the far horizon. The majority of the townsfolk have gone to the pub, intent on watching the drinking contest that is BOUND to be exciting. Because nothing screams exciting more than watching two strangers get absolutely trashed and all.
PurpleKoopa radical. B[ ]
VodkaMutini[Neko] yawns and stretches.
VodkaMutini[Neko] goes to the library to find a new book, she looks and finds a book on lightning magic with lots of pretty pictures, she takes it up to the librarian and looks up at them. "Can I check this out please?'
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: Gamzee sits up from his supine position on top of the van as he sees the lights in the vet's office flicker on.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: He slooowly slides to the ground, opening the van door as he does so.
PurpleKoopa has been getting pumped up for this drinking contest ALL NIGHT. Seriously. Hasn't gotten into the van or anything. She's got an empty stomach, a head full of good thoughts, and nothing to lose. With a rugged air normally reserved for westerns, Lalonde swings open the pub door. She points a finger towards the bearded barkeep and says, "darw, pardner"
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Wow Mutini moves at breakneck speeds. She searches the shelves of the library, but doesn't quite manage to find a book on lightning magic with an abundance of colorful pictures, instead locating a log titled 'Local Weather Paterns'. Close enough, at least.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: "Yo, dogbro," he stage-whispers. "Time to go get your bad self up and head on over to the animal doctor."
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** As for the librarian. She simply gives Mutini a... look, drubbing her nails against the desk surface. And where might that Arsony novel be, young lady? It's overdue. You didn't practice what you learned on it, did you?
alabastorArchfiend has been the responsible chaperon, as ridiculous as that is. Yes, he's watched her do this all night long. /All/. /Night/. /Long/. And god, is he tired. But someone has to keep an eye on her, once this show was on the road. Looking like he just rose from the grave, the demi-demon wearily followed Lalonde.
alabastorArchfiend Why was he doing this, again?
VodkaMutini[Neko] takes it out and puts it on the table.
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: "Right here Miss,sorry, I liked the pictures a lot."
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: /darw/ ))
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Pfff]]
<Nitro>: Halley grumbled and seriously considered repeating yesterday's...interesting awakening routine.
auroraAuxillatrix Pokes her head out of the trunk, checking to see if the morning sun had truly arrived. One couldn't be too careful, when dealing with dangerous horrors. Like the /moon/.
VodkaMutini[Neko] looks up at the librarian with innocent little kitten eyes.
<Nitro>: He was sleepy and sore and the building looked so far away...
<alabastorArchfiend>: shits
<alabastorArchfiend>: lets
<alabastorArchfiend>: ...lets just get this over with
<PurpleKoopa>: nero u are not haveing the right attiatude about this
<PurpleKoopa>: the correct way to say it is
<PurpleKoopa>: lets get it ON
PurpleKoopa FIST PUMPS.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Roxy enters the pub. Scottie the barkeep was just as excited to kick this drinking contest off, hands pressed flat against one of the tables in the center. A crowd began to gather just around it, from consorts to adventurers alike spectating. "SO! YE FINALLY SHOWED UP, AH SEE? AH WAS AFRAID THAT Y'MIGHT NOOT'VE SHOWED UP FOR A WEE MOMENT, DON'T Y'KNOW?"
alabastorArchfiend might as well /be/ a zombie, he's so sleep deprived. He might as well not be here at all. Best chaperon.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: Want me to get you there, brother?
tenaciouslyCrunknasty The boy makes as if to lift Halley out of the van.
alabastorArchfiend But weakly, so very weakly, he returned the fist pump It's the most pathetic, half-assed fist pump in the history of broship. But it was there.
<Nitro>: Halley, startled, struggled to get on his three uninjured legs. He managed, if barely, and blinked sleepily at Gamzee. Ok actually the carrying thing sounded nice now, but the offer was probably rescinded with the dog on his paws. Sucks to be him.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** The librarian gives the cat girl a dubious look. As much as she liked reading it and all, that is still no excuse. She takes the arsony book back and scribbles down a few things on some forms behind the desk before sadly having to fine the lass for 20 Boondolla--
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** ... She'll put it on her tab.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[*Whups color y:]]
VodkaMutini[Neko] will pay it back as fast as she can! Don't want to make the lady sad she didn't get money or anything.
tenaciouslyCrunknasty Nah, Gamzee just picks that motherfucker up anyway (o:
auroraAuxillatrix Ah, clear as day. Excellent. Slinking out of her trunk, she stretched her back with a breathy sigh. Not the most comfortable of beds but, alas, it was the only one she could use! Cracking out a kink, she noticed her fellow teammate aiding the woofbeast. Gamzee again, it seemed.
PurpleKoopa "heh" the challenger scoffed, crossing her arms cockily. "i woudlnt be missing this shit for the WHIRLED" Lalonde moseyed on over to the table and into coolly slid into her seat.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: Hey, chica. Wanna get the door for a motherfucker?
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** She wouldn't be... sad, just disappointed. However, she DOES trust the lass, nodding affirmatively to her before promptly checking out the Local Weather Pattern Log. She DOES however make sure to put that required payment on record.
<PurpleKoopa>: pick ur poison scottsmin ive spent YEARS developeing n immunity to iocane powder
<Nitro>: Halley blinked as he was lifted. Oh ok this was cool with him.
auroraAuxillatrix Perhaps that was a good thing, however. Little by little, she was becoming accustomed to being friendly with the juggalo wonder. He truly wasn't so bad...when he wasn't sober. With a half-smile, she cordially opened the door.
<auroraAuxillatrix>: My Pleasure
VodkaMutini[Neko] smiles up at the nice lady and takes the book after she's done with it. "Thank you nice lady! You look pretty by the way."
VodkaMutini[Neko] scampers away with the book.
tenaciouslyCrunknasty Said addled wonder bobs as graciously as he can in thanks and plods his way into the vet's office.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: Thanks, sister.
<PurpleKoopa>: not to mention ethanol fo that matter
alabastorArchfiend plops down beside her, sinking low into the seat. He tried to rub the dark circles out of his eyes, to no avail. How did she /do/ it? He was so fucking tired, he could just drop dead right on the table. But he had to stay awake, just in case the bottle fairy bite off more than she could chew. /Someone/ had to look after her, when this blew over.
<PurpleKoopa>: the pincess bride ref seemed obliblipgatory tho
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** "WE'LL see aboot THAT now, lassy girl!" Scottie confidently states, waving the waitress over with a meaty hand. She promptly sets down 12 shot glasses of liquor to start off with, six for each respective participant, before politely nodding her head and returning to behind the counter.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** BEGIN.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** http://www.youtuberepeat.com/watch/?v=wvRhvseZOIU&feature=endscreen&NR=1
alabastorArchfiend Call it his own personal challenge. Of pain.
calamitousGodlyhood thinks it's good music for this but eh. :y]]
alabastorArchfiend hahaha, hawkeye is da man))
<auroraAuxillatrix>: Anything For A Fellow Comrade My Dear Gamzee
auroraAuxillatrix As they entered the doors, she took the time to switch her wardrobe again. The old one was getting worn by the arid winds of the desert, and she'd preferred to keep her outfits in tact. She felt a little festive today, and it showed.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Whoops my computer's being a bit of a hrp and also a drp, so I apologize in advance for slowed posts. <c>]]
auroraAuxillatrix Did it ever show.
VodkaMutini[Neko] goes to the bar and sits down at a table, "reading" her new book.
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[I like the rightmost one.
auroraAuxillatrix it's the one on the far right, if you're curious))
auroraAuxillatrix which i bet you're not, but :v))
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: for some reson i can't see it. link it in skype?)
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: oh wait there we go!)
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: clown_dress, eh?)
VodkaMutini[Neko] wonders why no one is wondering why a 9 year old cat girl is sitting in a bar reading a book on weather patterns.
auroraAuxillatrix doesn't know what you're talking about))
auroraAuxillatrix Bl))
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: too distracted by DRONKING CONTOST_
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Gamzee arrives at the Havre Veterinarian. The walls are colored in a pristine white, very sterile and whatnot. A young lady in a plain labcoat with fine fuchsia hair just about finishes up with a poor injured parakeet, wrapping a teeny bandage around it's wing.
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: >Gamzee:Woo the lady
PurpleKoopa wasted no time in getting her drink on. With lightning fast dexterity, Lalonde slurped down the first couple of shots, quickly tilting her head back to chug down each one and just as quickly slamming the empty shot glass on the bar table. She can do this, man. She can make this happen.
tenaciouslyCrunknasty Smiling dreamily, he has a seat wherever there is to have a seat inside, still holding the dog. Alien Kansis is just as ready to help a brother as much as non-alien Kansis. Must be a motherfuckin' universal constant. Though to the alien sisters, /his/ Kansis would be the alien Kansis. Everything is motherfuckin' relative, you know?
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: Shit.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: i mean
tenaciouslyCrunknasty Shiiiit.
VodkaMutini[Neko] Gamzee just said something logical!
VodkaMutini[Neko] EVERYONE ABANDON SHIP OH GODS
tenaciouslyCrunknasty That was an internal reflection, not an expletive.
PurpleKoopa gamzee is a spigot of half-baked philosophical meanderings
VodkaMutini[Neko] Thought
tenaciouslyCrunknasty Girl, he is /always/ makin' some sort of sense. You just got to up and open your heart and your /mind/, motherfucker.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Vodka Mutini reads up on her weather pattern log. Huh! According to the information the book entails, it looks like it's going to rain in Havre tomorrow. What do y'know! She learns a new spell: Soothing Rain.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Soothing Rain: A light rainstorm that gradually heals the party for three turns. Can be used once every hour. Cures BURN and FEAR. Only works outside. 80% chance of success.
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[Wow Jaspers, get the hell out of my head
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[... Who's Breanna >:0]]
<Nitro>: [?]
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[I was contemplating looking for some healing magic
auroraAuxillatrix Oh, what a pristine room. Very white, very...plain. Too plain, for Kanaya's liking. For a girl so enamored with colors, it almost felt a bit oppressing. But she'd stay as well mannered as ever, offering the woman a welcoming smile.
PurpleKoopa no idea, she just popped into #trollmegle too and left just as quickly]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: He watches the vet lady wrap the tiny wing- how does that little wing even lift that bird into the air like it was nothing? /miracles/ - he notices a flash of color out of the corner of his eye.
<Nitro>: [Huh. That is]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: Damn, sister, that is every kind of motherfuckin' fancy. Look at that shit shine in the light, got to be a million little glitterbeads.
<Nitro>: [Bizarre.]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Roxy wastes absolutely no time to dilly dally, downing the first six shots with no hesitation, the liquor making it's way into her system faster with the quick intake and taking effect sooner.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Enemy turn.
PurpleKoopa hahaha]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: hahahaHAHAHA IT'S A BATTLE)
auroraAuxillatrix The doctor herself was quite pretty, surprisingly. What gorgeous hair, though she looked a little dour in that labcoat of hers. The troll found herself wondering how she could spruce her up...when Gamzee spotted her latest outfit.
alabastorArchfiend pffff
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[YEP.]]
VodkaMutini[Neko] puts her book away into her scratching-post sylladex.
PurpleKoopa WHAT HAPPENS IF I USE DOZE
PurpleKoopa OR EMPOWERMENT FOR THAT MATTER
calamitousGodlyhood Pffffffffff]]
<auroraAuxillatrix>: Oh This
calamitousGodlyhood Try what you must <u>]]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: all's fair in love and wra)
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: *lulz and worf)
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: *^^)
<auroraAuxillatrix>: I Fashioned This Dress On A Rainy Day
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: Yeah that, chica. It is like pink and red /at the same time/. Like the doc-sister's hair over there.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Shots? What shots? All Scottie sees is a bunch of empty glasses. With gutso, the barkeep downs the shots like a beer guzzling machine, efficiently downing two glasses at a time. Because, you know. Two hands. He is /not/ going to lose to some lass that's already had far too many.
VodkaMutini[Neko] turns into a cat and climbs atop Roxys head, purring and washing her head with her tongue.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: You musta had the sunshine up in your heart when you did.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** ROXY'S ALCOHOL INTAKE: 10%
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** SCOTTIE'S ALCOHOL INTAKE: 12%
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** End turn.
auroraAuxillatrix smiles, a modest blushing flushing over her cheeks. "Oh It Was Nothing Special"
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Sorry, Gamzee, keep forgetting you're at the vet because]]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Booze battle 6c9]]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: it's cool dude!)
alabastorArchfiend watches glumly, vaguely wondering if he's being an enabler in all this. He probably is, and what a shame. Did that make him an enabler to his old man, too? He had /no/ idea, and he didn't care.
alabastorArchfiend Hell, he doesn't even feel shame. Just...
alabastorArchfiend Shots. They're drinking shots, and he's tired. That's about as far as his comprehension can handle.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** The waitress brings over another set of shots; only this time, eight instead of the previous six, upping the ante once more and with a curt nod returning to her place.
calamitousGodlyhood forgot that, whupsies. <o>]]
tenaciouslyCrunknasty With a grin, Gamzee shakes his head. "You just like my Kansis. You ain't like to admit to a miracle even when you made it your own damn self."
<auroraAuxillatrix>: And You Still Find Miracles In Everything And Anything
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: Mmm-hm.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** The vet wraps up tending to the little bird's wing, whispering a few reassuring and kind words to the lil' guy before turning her attention to her new clients. "Oh! I'm so sorry, I was just finishing up taking care of this poor little guy right here. How can I help you...?" She decides to inquire.
<auroraAuxillatrix>: Seems Like The More Things Change The More They Stay The Same
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: That is deep as /fuck/.
<auroraAuxillatrix>: Thank You Gamzee I Try
PurpleKoopa First off, Vodka shoos Mutini away from the top of her head. Sorry, sweetie. Momma's trying to get smashed. c: Still draining shot after shot, Roxy decides to mumble the casting words for EMPOWERMENT in-between glasses. Maybe she can boost the Strength and Constitution stats of her liver?
tenaciouslyCrunknasty Gamzee is too deep in thought to respond to the veterinarian, though the injured dog in his arms probably speaks for himself.
PurpleKoopa It's worth a /shot/!
PurpleKoopa bum bum tish
calamitousGodlyhood just]]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: gamzee approves)
calamitousGodlyhood awards PK with 5 boondollars for that pun ok]]
VodkaMutini[Neko] sits on the table then, not getting in the way, just sitting there like an adorable little kitten watching people get FUCKING HAMMERED.
auroraAuxillatrix 's attention is gently interrupted by the vet, her eyes flickering to them. Her eyes linger perhaps a /bit/ too long at her hair, so lovely and vivid, before smiling warmly. "Oh It Was No Problem At All"
<auroraAuxillatrix>: Im Sure The Chirpbeast Is Very Thankful For Your Efforts
<auroraAuxillatrix>: I Was Hoping Perhaps You Could Assist Our Woofbeast
<auroraAuxillatrix>: He Was Injured In Battle And I Fear His Wounded Leg Is Not Faring Well
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Roxy's spell, as slurred as the cast itself is, surprisingly succeeds! She gains the boost, making it infinitely easier for her liver to take the liquor she was so quickly consuming, emptying the glasses at breakneck pace.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Enemy turn.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Scottie scoffs, deciding to not so hastily down the shots this time. He wasn't about to stomach booze so quickly that he passed out in seconds! He downs the shots at his own pace, emptying six... seven... all eight shots, slamming the glasses onto the table!
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** ROXY'S ALCOHOL INTAKE: 18%
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** SCOTTIE'S ALCOHOL INTAKE: 20%
alabastorArchfiend Shit, whatever, he's going to cast a spell too. If the resident booze hound could do it, so could he. Even if he was tempted to pass out on the couch. So he's gonna put the terror...thing...in the bartender guy. He's gonna fill 'em with...fear stuff. Like...
alabastorArchfiend Fuck, he's going to cast Terroize okay. Is that so hard to understand?
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** The waitress approaches the table once more, but instead of shots this time, she places two proper mugs onto the table before the booze battling contestants, brimming with foamy alcohol before politely nodding and heading back to her place.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** End turn.
alabastorArchfiend pretends she did that after the end turn))
calamitousGodlyhood patpats, it's okay cG uvu]]
PurpleKoopa gives a quick "thank you" nod in Nero's direction before eagerly seizing upon the frothy mug of alcohol and pouring it into her gaping maw. Glug glug glug glog galg glab gab glub gug. (*petend thosse were all glugs ok)
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** The vet takes a brief look over the dog, stepping closer and biting the side of her cheek. "... I suppose I can help you, unfortunately. What happened to the poor guy...?" She inquires thoughtfully, reaching a hand over to gingerly scritch him behind the ears.
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: >Halley:Be lovable
PurpleKoopa hasn't he already? ;y ]
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: >Even More.
<Nitro>: Halley accepted the petting with the utmost eagerness, licking at the kindly lady's arm in return and wagging his tail.
<Nitro>: Yes, be as pitiful and sympathetic as possible to obtain all of the love and petting. /All/ if it.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Roxy manages to successfully down 50% of the beer mug, the alcohol getting into her system faster than it ought to... but it's far less than what she can take, especially with the effects of Empowerment still in effect! Nero's attempt to frighten the barkeep... fails miserably. Damn! The barkeep simply chuckles, giving Nero a dubious look before returning
<calamitousGodlyhood>: to the task at hand.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Enemy turn.
tenaciouslyCrunknasty Gamzee snaps out of his philosophical meanderings to...pause and admire the vivid shade of her hair. Then respond with "Motherfuckin' giant rats, doctor-sis."
VodkaMutini[Neko] wonders what Heat Wave would do in here
PurpleKoopa >Nero: Use Soothing Rain to dilute alcohol. Except it only works outside so JOKES JOKES JOKES
auroraAuxillatrix reassuringly pets the poor pooch, careful not to bruise him. "Yes" she nods, affirming Gamzee's somewhat vague assertion. "An Oversized Squeakbeast Severed Into That Leg"
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Scottie guzzles the frothy liquor down just as quickly as Roxy, chugging 60% of the mug's contents before slamming it down onto the table, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: >Mutini:Actually have Soothing Rain spell
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** ROXY'S ALCOHOL INTAKE: 30%
alabastorArchfiend Fuck you old man, he's tired and miserable. He did his best, okay? And now, he's putting his head on the table. Pulling an all nighter was hard work.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** SCOTTIE'S ALCOHOL INTAKE: 40%
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** End turn.
alabastorArchfiend But not before shooting the Scotsman a death glare, grim and unflinching. Watch it, he was /just/ tired enough to consider biting into you like a leg of ham. Self-discipline be damned, he'd fucking do it.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** "... Giant... rats...? Gosh, you don't say." She responds to Gamzee with a clear of the throat. "Well, I could certainly see what I have for the big guy. He'll be all patched up and better than ever in just a jiffy, don't worry about it one bit."
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Also, Mutini; attacking the opponent would probably just]]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[End up getting Roxy disqualified |:]]
PurpleKoopa dont blo this figet for me dudes
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[WHen did I say I was going to attack anyone?
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[No really where.
PurpleKoopa i think u men neno lol
<Nitro>: [I]
PurpleKoopa *nero
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Heat Wave is an attack spell, so. o:]]
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[I was joking, why would I do that in a room with my teammates in it ::l
<Nitro>: [It can be hard to tell over the internet.]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [['Kay. .o.]]
PurpleKoopa Aww yeah, she's got this. Roxy doesn't even bother to wipe the foam off her lips and she swigs down (hopefully) the rest of the beer mug. Keep it comin', old man! She can do this just as long as you can. Well. Maybe a little bit longer. (;
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: roxy what are you even going to do with those shot glasses)
PurpleKoopa idk man
PurpleKoopa i shoulda sweetened up the offah
PurpleKoopa added his kilt in2 the wagger
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Roxy chugs down the rest of their mug; a good clean 50% of booze in a flash as if it were nothing. Her drinking prowess has to be admired, but the Scotsman wasn't about to admit it anytime soon.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Enemy turn.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: Aite sister. Should I put dogbro on that bitty metal table you got?
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: Scotty ==> Make her a member of the midnight brew...ers))
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Pff]]
PurpleKoopa i'm all in favor for a secret society of alcoholics]
VodkaMutini[Neko] stares at the Scotsman, occasionally blinking each set of eyes separately, giving him a creepy meow once in a while.
VodkaMutini[Neko] is obviously a hallucination, no one else look at her, she's just here staring at the Scotsman.
PurpleKoopa i am]
PurpleKoopa still listening to the hawkeye theme]
calamitousGodlyhood s a m e <u>]]
alabastorArchfiend is definitely not sleeping, he's just...resting his eyes.. God help the poor soul that interrupts him.
alabastorArchfiend Resting his eyes, that is.
<auroraAuxillatrix>: On Behalf Of Our Poor Woofbeast I Thank You For Your Kindness
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Scotty does the same with his own supply, finishing off the last 40% to the very drop. However, inbetween sips, he casts a spell to make things fair-- Enlighten, sobering him up by a very, very small ammount, certainly not negating the effects of the previously downed booze but every little bit helped.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** ROXY'S ALCOHOL INTAKE: 42%
PurpleKoopa HEADS UP: I need to leave a little before 6:10 PST (it's 5:30 now) in order to get to my class on time.]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** SCOTTIE'S ALCOHOL INTAKE: 48%
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[This calls for a L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-/LIGHTNING/ /ROUND/ only probably not really]]
VodkaMutini[Neko] stares harder at Scotty, blinking a different eye every few seconds.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[We can probably finish this up quickly enough-- and if not, we can finish it when you get back. o:]]
PurpleKoopa either way is fine with me!]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** The Scotsman pays absolutely no mind to Mutini-- he's just too shitfaced to care, really. He's seen worse. Back in HIS day...
VodkaMutini[Neko] coughs up a hairball onto Scotties side of the table.
VodkaMutini[Neko] ate too much hair ::c
PurpleKoopa >Scotsman: Regale your tales of fighting alongside Samurai Jack. Except you know, not when you're getting hammered.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Pffff]]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: oh man, best backstory)
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** The waitress returns once more, picking up the emptied mugs and replacing the supplies with two full to the very brim pitchers of alcohol. Time to finish things and finish them /hard/.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** End turn.
VodkaMutini[Neko] says they should bring out the VOdka.
VodkaMutini[Neko] wants them to drink Vodka >::l
Nitro but Mutie people don't drink catd
Nitro cats
calamitousGodlyhood Not in this country at least
<Nitro>: [Jakey. <3]
<JakeEnglish>: (( Hey. ))
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Sup Jake; you missed the majority of the booze battle. <u>]]
<Nitro>: [How are you?]
<JakeEnglish>: (( Booze battle..? ))
<Nitro>: [Roxy vs. Scottie.]
<JakeEnglish>: (( I'm good. Did we find the dog and deliver the package yet? ))
<Nitro>: [The package was delivered. Haven't gotten to the dog quest.]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** "Oh-- that would be nice, thank you very much." She says to Gamzee with a curt nod, smiling innocently to the juggalo and Halley respectively.
<JakeEnglish>: (( DID ANYBODY HEAL MY DOG. ))
<Nitro>: [Roxy is doing a drinking contest at the bar while Gamzee and Kanaya took Halley to the vet (we weren't sure how long it would be before you got on).]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Roxy and Scottie are having a drinking contest and Gamzee took Halley to the vet. uvu]]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Timing]]
<JakeEnglish>: (( Yes good. ))
<JakeEnglish>: (( Sorry, I was painting my room. ))
<Nitro>: [It's alright. uvu]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[That's more than fine, JE! ^u^]]
<JakeEnglish>: (( I might just observe? I'm going to have to go do coat two soon and I don't know how long until that'll be. ))
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Ah, okay. That's fine too! uvu]]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: das cool)
<Nitro>: [That's fine too. Take your time.]
<JakeEnglish>: (( Thanks guys. Proceed. ))
auroraAuxillatrix yeah, that's fine!))
PurpleKoopa AWAEWAWHH YREAAAHEHHHH. The dazed Roxy sent a pair of shaky hands mug-wards, nearly knocking it over a few times before finally finding the handle. She leaned over and held up the glass to take a hearty swig, but not before casting another spell first: DOZE. Gettin' a little there sleepy-eyed there, Scottie? u_~
tenaciouslyCrunknasty Hefts the dog over to the table. Up you go onto the miracle slab, bro. Oh damn it is kinda slippy, huh, I got you brother, you're good.
<Nitro>: Halley really couldn't or didn't care to do much more than let himself be lifted and set on the platform. Slippery and /cold/, brother.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: Sorry, bro. I ain't like havin' my ass on no cold metal either, but shit has got to up and be motherfuckin' sterile, you know?
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Roxy downs a good... possibly 20% of the contents? However, while that may seem like a miniscule ammount, it was FAR from that. It was a big pitcher, alright? As for Doze... it fizzles out, leaving Scottie to let out a hearty laugh as he gripped the handle of his own mug.
tenaciouslyCrunknasty Patpat.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Enemy turn.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** He's... feeling a bit tipsy, yeah. But he is FAR from out; bringing the liquor up to his lips and downing a whopping 30% of the contents in one hearty swig, he places the pitcher down on the table before him in preperation for take two; but NOT without doing something in retaliation, of course, casting FEAR on Roxy... and failing just as well! Though that
<calamitousGodlyhood>: 's to be expected with so much alcohol being downed. Meanwhile, the effects of EMPOWERMENT begin to fade, leaving the gnostalgic a bit tipsy. See what I did there? You're damn right you did.
<Nitro>: Halley, because the roleplayer is not able to come up with something more substantial at this point in time, simply offers a whine in response.
PurpleKoopa wow alll of our spalls just SUK today huh
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** ROXY'S ALCOHOL INTAKE: 62%
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: Shoooosh.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** SCOTTIE'S ALCOHOL INTAKE: 68%
tenaciouslyCrunknasty Gamzee, the party's pale bicycle.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** The veterinarian simply offers Halley a brief little pat on the head before soon getting to work on tending to their wounds, hurriedly retrieving a small black medical bag and placing it on the table.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Loading...
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Brutal Braces- 800
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Piercing Chompers- 1000
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Viscious Dentures- 1200
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Leather Collar- 650
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Dog Food- 250
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Dog Biscuit- 150
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: "Halley needs Dentures and Dog food."
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[That was supposed to be [[
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Cat Food- 250
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Catnip- 150
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Chew Toy- 200
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[If I only had money, I would buy ALL the catnips
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Animal First Aid Kit- 800
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** End list.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Oh WHUPS end turn.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: Aw shit, bro, look at all that animal bling. Which one you want?
PurpleKoopa reels back in her chair and starts hiccuping like mad. What a great -hic- time to lose -hic- your spell -hic- buffs. Still struggling to keep herself glued to the seat, Lalonde heaves the gargantuan beer pitcher a little bit over her head and pours it in like the Niagara Falls. If the Niagara Falls flowed with beer, that is.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Roxy downs the contents of the pitcher more and more still, draining it from 80% to...
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** 10%. Good lord, is she even giving herself time to breath? Probably not. Determination at it's finest, ladies and gentlemen. The Scotsman simply quirks a brow to this, teeth bared as he gave his own pitcher a look.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Enemy turn.
<Nitro>: Shit son. Halley took a look at the inventory then at his boonbuck count. He'll take...the first aid kit and the Vicious Dentures (communicating Halleypathically, of course). Damn, animal items are expensive. He was glad he saved up.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** /No/. He is /NOT/ losing like this. This girl has given him a run for his money, but this is where it ends. Taking a deep and shaky alcohol-scented breath, he brings the pitcher to his lips and pours it down his throat, draining it from 70% to...
VodkaMutini[Neko] thinks Halley should remember his cat friend and buy her a present ::3?
<Nitro>: That chew toy looked extremely appealing, too. Not to mention maybe he could scare off some giant rats.
<Nitro>: Decisions, decisions.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Just the same. 10%. Their alcohol intakes were just about neck and neck, and they were both just as ready to conk out and puke their guts out right here.
PurpleKoopa mutsie babby ill get u som catnup after i have a livver transplant
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Roxy: Pick Even numbers or Odds!
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: "Can I perform the surgery?"
PurpleKoopa OFFS
PurpleKoopa *odds
PurpleKoopa yes u r a totes lisenced doctor after all
alabastorArchfiend Halleypathically
alabastorArchfiend i can't
Nitro B]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** "Y'RELLY GAV IT YER ALL, LASSY GRIL... *GIRL. BUT AH'M AFRAID THIS BE WHERE Y'TAKE YER LEAVE." He brings his pitcher up to his lips once more, and...
tenaciouslyCrunknasty Gamzee nods, in tune with nature and the rest of the universe. He communicates these doggy desires do the vet.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Completely misses his mouth, the remaining contents pouring onto the pub's floor as he proceeds to pass out from his alcohol intake.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** V I C T O R Y .
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: oh shit!!!!_
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: ))
<Nitro>: [> Everyone: Rob the bar since the barkeep is unconscious.]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Pfffffffffff]]
<Nitro>: [weeps, is always a thief in RPGs]
<Nitro>: [legitimately]
<Nitro>: [/always/]
alabastorArchfiend wouldn't know if Roxy won or not. He's rested his eyes straight to sleepytown. Sweet dreams, kiddo.
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[>Always the good girl in the RPGs
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[I cannot bring myself to kill like, civilians or steal, so I just lockpick everything and pick up the stuff i'm allowed to uuwuu
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** A few minutes or so later, the barkeep stirs to life, wiping his mouth of the alcohol residew and sitting up properly. "... Ah gots t'admit. Ah'm impressed, lass. Y've earned yer glasses, fair 'nd square. 'Tis a pleasure, girly."
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** The following items remain:
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** (6) Enchanted Shot Glass
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: damn, nites, i didn't think you were the type)
VodkaMutini[Neko] clamors atop Roxys head and gives it congratulatory licks
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** End list.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: you got HIDDEN DEPTHS)
<Nitro>: [I don't kill innocents or guards generally. I just steal like a kleptomaniac.]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Not sure whether to give Roxy a level for winning in a drinking contest or not. I mean,]]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[I /definitely/ think I should but]]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[<u>]]
alabastorArchfiend level 3
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[I steal only when the NPCs are assholes
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[Granted they're assholes most of the time...
PurpleKoopa i'd say that was a pretty noteworthy achievement d: but you're the DM, it's up to you!]
alabastorArchfiend when some people aren't even level 1
alabastorArchfiend still, it was noteworthy!
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Agreed, that's why I was leaning towards that. And Nitro, I didn't forget Halley, hold for a moment <c>]]
<Nitro>: [uvu No worries.]
<Nitro>: [(I forgot Halley. Honestly did not remember until you said that. XD)]
PurpleKoopa Her victory is SEIZED! Roxy raises her mug triumphantly into the air and yelps out an incoherent "YEEEEEEAAAHRAAAHIOGR;IOI;VAR13!!!!!!!!!!!!~" before falling backwards in her chair and sprawling out all over the floor, spilling booze everywhere.
PurpleKoopa *THAT'S OUR ROXY* (and also my cue to leave)
<Nitro>: [Later PK!]
<Nitro>: [> Nero: Wake up to booze splashed on face.]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: bye peeks!)
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Roxy, compliments to her binge drinking prowess, attains more than enough exprience from the situation to call for a new level!
alabastorArchfiend >Nero: ...Dad, is that you?))
alabastorArchfiend later pk!))
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: roxy is the best gamer grrl, she is like. outlevelling all our n00b asses)
PurpleKoopa log thus far! http://pastebin.com/ZWjin7PW jaspers do level up stuff later! bye!]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Later, PK! ^u^]]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** CONSTITUTION +1
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** End.
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Oh-- can someone change her life to 110, actually? Constitution is what does that. .o.]]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: shore)
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: and now she has 8 const?)
<Nitro>: [7.]
<Nitro>: [I changed it.]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: kk)
Nitro regards Linux-compatible IRC clients with a frown.]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Ding! -2000. The vet politely hands over the Animal First Aid Kit and Viscious Dentures, putting them into the pup's inventory for him just as she finishes with fixing him up. There we go, good as new!
Nitro hates downloading stuff.]
Nitro goes to do so anyway.]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Viscious Dentures: A set of devastating slip-in faux teeth that are lethally sharp and just bound to slay many employees of the postal service. Just be careful not to bite your tongue, now.
<Nitro>: Halley sat upright to lick the woman's face appreciatively. What a nice lady! (Maybe being an adorapuppy would reduce the price of tending his wound, too. Then again earning pets was always nice.)
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *Color whups.
auroraAuxillatrix oh wow, i am just
auroraAuxillatrix derping out
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Animal First Aid Kit: Can be used once to tend to animal wounds exclusively, healing them signifigantly.
calamitousGodlyhood patpats shhh cG it's all good umu]]
auroraAuxillatrix but i
auroraAuxillatrix don't see a reason to be here?
auroraAuxillatrix idk guys i must be feeling down or something
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[:< If you don't want to play for the night, then don't, we understand. unu]]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: but we were gonna give gamz a makeooooveeeer)
calamitousGodlyhood also grabs the description for the Enchanted Shot Glasses whoopsies]]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: and find the lost dog!)
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Enchanted Shot Glass: While this crystal shot glass can't hold high quantities of a liquid, it's guaranteed to increase the potency of whatever you fill it with.
VodkaMutini[Neko] thinks the bartender was cheating a bit if he used them on Roxy
auroraAuxillatrix no, i'm sorry. i'm being stupid.
<Nitro>: [Gamzee and Kanaya could have a feelings jam about what troll Gamzee is like and all that. But if you don't feel like doing shit tonight, it's alright, CG.]
auroraAuxillatrix i just feel sort of inadequate today. about everything.
<Nitro>: [Did something happen in particular?]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[We'd be more than happy to listen about it. 3:]]
auroraAuxillatrix no
auroraAuxillatrix i just feel like a shitty writer and all around untalented person.
auroraAuxillatrix agian.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: have fun with us and maybe it'll cheer you up!)
auroraAuxillatrix alright, alright. i'm sorry, i'm being dumb.))
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[cG, no, you aren't a terrible writer. In fact, out of the ones that I've met and seen, you're probably a personal favorite-- even if I doubt saying that will really]]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Do much. x: I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling like that.]]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: everybody gets down on themselves sometimes!)
<Nitro>: [You're a good writer. You write dialogue well and distinct to each character, and there's always a flavor of the character's personality in even your third-person writing, which is something that plenty of people struggle with. Story-wise, you're pretty damn imaginative while still taking details into account, as far as I've seen.]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: it's a natural thing and you should roleplay with a juggalo to cure it)
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: imo)
<Nitro>: [(no no RP with the dog to cure it)]
<Nitro>: [(puppies cure everything)]
<Nitro>: [(Nero agrees)]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[No, no, you're both wrong. RP with the /PONIES/ /THEYRE/ /WHERE/ /ITS/ /AT/]]
alabastorArchfiend wait does that mean applejack is here
alabastorArchfiend no rUN
<Nitro>: [WHAT ABOUT THE DRAGON TIME GOD, HE LIKES TO...ER..."FIX" PEOPLE]
calamitousGodlyhood /HOWDY/
calamitousGodlyhood I WILL GET THE LASSO I SWEAR TO FUCK
calamitousGodlyhood *BUCK
alabastorArchfiend is asleep, you apple snorting junkie. Try and harass him now, he /dares/ you.
alabastorArchfiend Bl
calamitousGodlyhood thROWS APPLES AT NERO only not really.
Nitro Halley will run to the rescue.
<JakeEnglish>: (( *FALLS OVER DEAD* ))
Nitro with his newly-functioning leg.
Nitro catches Jakey.]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: wait so buck means fuck? what does she do when she...apple bucks? D)
Nitro holds.]
<JakeEnglish>: (( MY DOG JUST FARTED ))
<Nitro>: [fffff]
calamitousGodlyhood You want to find out wink ;0
<JakeEnglish>: (( AND I THINK I'M DYING ))
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: they do tend to do that)
<Nitro>: [Don't you love it when animals do that.]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: you may want to get some air)
<JakeEnglish>: (( GOD WHERE DID ALL THE OXYGEN GO ))
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Jjjjjjake .n.]]
*** MidNap is now known as Midna
<JakeEnglish>: (( Hm ))
<JakeEnglish>: (( To get red velvet ice cream or not ))
<JakeEnglish>: (( decisions decisions ))
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[Jade, take advice from the cat.
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[Yes.
<Nitro>: [SOIDJFSI OMG THE UPDATE]
<Nitro>: [WEEPS]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: yep, just. yep.)
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[WHAT IS OXYGEN
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[WHY ARE THE PLANTS FAILING ME
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[CACTUS, WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME, I WATER YOU EVERY DAY
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: CACTuS DOESN'T GIVE A FuCK)
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[WHY CACTUS, YOU GREW FLOWERS FOR ME, WAS OUR LOVE A LIE
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: YuP)
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: NOW EAT IT)
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[*EATS HER CACTUS OUT OF REVENGE*
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[YOU'RE SPIKY I DONT GIVE A FUCK
<Nitro>: [we should]
<Nitro>: [RP now]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: yes)
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[Sure
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: Hahaha fuuuck, dogbro's up and got himself a grill.
VodkaMutini[Neko] goes to the Veterinary and looks up at Gamzee.
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: "Gamzee, will you buy me some catnip please ::3?"
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: Hey, baby girl, you come to get some catnip?
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: Pfffffff!@
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[Ninja'd
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Sorry, whupsies, was reading the update <u>]]
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[You lose oxygen too?
<Nitro>: [still weeplaughing, uu]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[I did in fact. Especially since--]]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[I read out the voices for pesterlogs--]]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[And my folks are just in the other room--]]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: TENDDDNERRRRRR)
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: Girl, I ain't ever been one to deny a sister some motherfuckin' nip.
tenaciouslyCrunknasty He confidently purchases some catnip.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: 685-150= 535))
VodkaMutini[Neko] reaches up her arms for a thank you hug.
tenaciouslyCrunknasty The clown hefts the kittygirl into a hug, still steadying Halley on the table with his other arm. Gamzee Makara; one with the animal kingdom.
VodkaMutini[Neko] hugs him and purrs loudly.
<Nitro>: Halley, at this point more than ready to get a move on, jumped off the table onto the floor. He wagged his tail at the kindly veterinarian. It's been a pleasure, miss, but they must be off now! Searching for adventure -- well, specifically, actually, searching for a fellow canine in the area. She wouldn't happen to know anything about a black-furred dog in
<Nitro>: the forests nearby, would she?
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Popped away again w h u p s .]]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Ding! -150. The veterinarian politely hands over the baggie of catnip, giving an affirmative nod to the pooch. As for the other dog... well, that's just a shame to hear! But she wouldn't know much about that, unfortunately.
VodkaMutini[Neko] is still purring in Gamzees arms, hugging him with all her little cat girl glee.
tenaciouslyCrunknasty Gamzee is more than okay with hugs. Hugs are one of the best motherfuckin' miracles what up and ever got created. Arms still occupied with said miracle, he uses his teeth to retrieve the catnip and drop it atop VM's head.
PurpleKoopa hey hey hey!]
VodkaMutini[Neko] purrs even louder and hugs him tighter.
<Nitro>: [Welcome back! We have hardly done anything since you left. 8y]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Sup, PK! ^u^]]
alabastorArchfiend yup, not a thing
alabastorArchfiend is a little too busy derping around with the notepad, sorry x)
<calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Enchanted Shot Glass: While this crystal shot glass can't hold high quantities of a liquid, it's guaranteed to increase the potency of whatever you fill it with.
PurpleKoopa have you guys been recording this "not a thing"? :y]
calamitousGodlyhood reposts the description for the glasses <u>]]
<Nitro>: [Yup.]
<Nitro>: [I've got all of it.]
PurpleKoopa thanks nitro! where is roxy now? is she still passed out in the pub?]
<Nitro>: [Yeah, with Nero.]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Yeppers. uvu]]
<Nitro>: [> Roxy: Awaken from liver transplant surgery.]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Snrrrrrk]]
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[>Roxy:Buy Mutie catnip.
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[ALL the catnips
<Nitro>: [but Gamzee already did that fff]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: pk oh my god have you read the update)
<Nitro>: [oh and ^]
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: [[
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: oh my goddd)
<Nitro>: [Oh 'bye PK. o:]
<Nitro>: [Possibly having computer/internet malfunctions.]
PurpleKoopa dammit, safari]
<Nitro>: [fff PK read the update so I can post update art aaaah]
<Nitro>: [if you haven't already.]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: pk /read the update/)
PurpleKoopa oh
PurpleKoopa my
PurpleKoopa fucking
PurpleKoopa god
<Nitro>: [8u8]
<Nitro>: [You read it?]
<Nitro>: [Yes you read it ok here: ]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: HOW BOUT THAT uu MOTHERFUCKER)
<Nitro>: [ cries IRL JakeEnglish fff]
PurpleKoopa HAAAAAAAA
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF]]
<Nitro>: [I can just imagine him reading the update]
<Nitro>: ["...MOM, I NEED A PLASTIC BABY DOLL. PRONTO."]
<Nitro>: [AND A SHARPIE.]
PurpleKoopa of all the things of uu to get off to this is by far the funniest]
<calamitousGodlyhood>: [[God I can't brEATH]]
Nitro dying, Hussie you've completely halted all RP in this room with your update, gee thanks]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: oh my godddd)
*** calamitousGodlyhood is now known as Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood
PurpleKoopa In a liquor-fueled state of unconsciousness, Roxy dreams.
PurpleKoopa She dreams of a love so noble and true, with her most of suitors, her dearest darling Jake. The two had a gorgeous wedding ceremony underneath the stars. There was much rejoicing.
PurpleKoopa Years went by. The lovers began to plan for their futures - Jake pursued a successful career of adventuring, why Roxy found her passion in advanced wizardry. Of course, those weren't the ONLY things they had planned. Eventually, the two became the proud new owners of a darling baby girl. They thought things could never be better.
PurpleKoopa They were right.
PurpleKoopa One fateful evening, after returning home from another hard day's wizarding, Roxy discovered an empty crib. Lo and behold, there was her husband with half an infant stuffed between his cheeks.
<Nitro>: [PK I]
<Nitro>: [I cannot]
PurpleKoopa As much as she wanted to deny it, it was all too horrifically true.
PurpleKoopa Jake ate the baby.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: actual cannibal jake english)
PurpleKoopa Roxy woke up to a blood-curdling scream and a MASSIVE hangover. Dear GOD, what the hell was she doing last night?
Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood Pffffffffff]]
<PurpleKoopa>: [there you go guys]
<PurpleKoopa>: [now PLAY BALL]
*** MidnAlt is now known as Midna
<Nitro>: [> alabastorArchfiend: Awaken.]
<Nitro>: Halley thanked the veterinarian lady anyway before turning to abscond from the clinic. Ok, kids, time to go find Weird Boy and Uncoordinated Girl and track down that dog. Halley was rarin' to go now.
VodkaMutini[Neko] was getting a ride on Halleys back.
VodkaMutini[Neko] has the bestest friend.
VodkaMutini[Neko] washes Halleys head with her tongue.
PurpleKoopa yo jaspers, i need the description for the shot glasses again]
PurpleKoopa also were there any other spoils of victory?]
<VodkaMutini[Neko]>: *** Enchanted Shot Glass: While this crystal shot glass can't hold high quantities of a liquid, it's guaranteed to increase the potency of whatever you fill it with.
alabastorArchfiend Roxy wasn't the only one dreaming. Not one feuled by alcohol, but incredible tiredness. A vivid dream, involving a golden statue and an ancient temple. And the grand adventurer coming to snatch it up was...
alabastorArchfiend ...Not him. That'd just be /stupid/. Here kid, you get to be Short Round. Be glad you can speak English.
*** Midna is now known as corpseCommunion
<Nitro>: [ ]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: /HOW/ )
PurpleKoopa i'm able to write up a long-ass joke based on the update then i think other people are more than capable of doodling something up]
alabastorArchfiend Oh no, he was the snotty little brat accompanying the great archaeologist. The great, red-coated, archaeologist. The humid mist of the temple blew in, surrounding the statue in a silvery glow. They'd been searching for /days/, and finally the Lost Elephantine of Laos was there. If he was lucky, Nero /might/ get a little credit. And a little was better
alabastorArchfiend than none, right?
alabastorArchfiend .../Right/
<Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Oh-- right, sorry PK. There weren't any other spoils-- but all considering]]
alabastorArchfiend Unfortunately, one last obstacle stood in the way - the fucking statue. Lifting it would trigger the trap, collapsing the ceiling. And last he heard, collapsing cielings were pretty lethal. Not really something he wanted to test out. So he let the /great/ /adventurer/ do his job, simply observing.
<Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Gaining a level and 6 magical containers that's still a pretty good haul. o:]]
<Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood>: *** Enchanted Shot Glass: While this crystal shot glass can't hold high quantities of a liquid, it's guaranteed to increase the potency of whatever you fill it with.
PurpleKoopa whoa 6? awesome]
<Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood>: [[It WAS a whole set of them. o:]]
alabastorArchfiend His job was to be a bratty half-pint and make charming one liners. Hah, /kids/.
alabastorArchfiend Finally, it seemed like his mentor had made his decision. Hopefully not a shitty o-
alabastorArchfiend "sorry kid, but i've gotta give it to ya straight - you're not leavin' this one alive."
alabastorArchfiend "/what/"
alabastorArchfiend "look, it's simple. you take the statue-"
alabastorArchfiend "and then i /die/?"
alabastorArchfiend "/no/, you throw it to me."
alabastorArchfiend "/then/ you die"
alabastorArchfiend :y
alabastorArchfiend "are you fuckin nuts, im not-"
alabastorArchfiend "c'mon kid, we all gotta make sacri-"
alabastorArchfiend "i said /no/ you alcoholic dis-"
alabastorArchfiend "would you just /listen/-"
alabastorArchfiend "/no/!"
PurpleKoopa massages her poor aching head, then gently pats the stirring Nero. Come on man, wake up and smell the vodka! You're going to argue with Dream Dad all freakin' day!
alabastorArchfiend Too late, the statue's already in his hands. That wry /bastard/ must have pushed it off the pedestal! With a sly smile and wink, his beloved mentor takes the it out of his hands and gives a tiny salute. And then he's /out/ of there, leaving him to die underneath a crumbling-
alabastorArchfiend BABIES
alabastorArchfiend BABIES WHAT. THE CEILING WAS MADE OF /BABIES/, GOD THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. BABIES, BABIES, BABIES.
Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood Mmm, crumbling babies. Delicious.
Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood Jake no get out
PurpleKoopa wave o' babies
alabastorArchfiend DOESN'T WANT TO DROWN IN BABIES, NOOO-
PurpleKoopa slap slap slap slap wwaaaayke uuuuuuup
tenaciouslyCrunknasty Gamzee waves goodbye to the veterinarian and follows after the animal duo. Mm, babies, he thinks.
Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood >Everyone: THINK ABOUT EATING BABIES]]
PurpleKoopa i dont wanna eet a babby ;_;
tenaciouslyCrunknasty Fuck yes, baby back ribs.
<Nitro>: Halley didn't want to eat a baby.
alabastorArchfiend wakes up with a jolt, leaping nearly a foot in the air. For a split second, it's like watching a bristling cat. Complete with terribly inhuman hissing.
alabastorArchfiend doesn't want to see babies ever again.
<Nitro>: He would, however, lick Nero into wakefulness if needed.
VodkaMutini[Neko] knows another cat who ate her own babies
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: Roxy ==> Spray Nero with a water bottle))
alabastorArchfiend bad kitty
alabastorArchfiend shoosh
<PurpleKoopa>: oh good i was wodnedering when u were gonna wak up
alabastorArchfiend And then he lands.
alabastorArchfiend /Whump/
<Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood>: [[>NEXT BOSS: BE THE BABY KING]]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: whomp)
PurpleKoopa dammit jaspers hahahahahahaha]
PurpleKoopa can we make a baby flail now]
alabastorArchfiend it shoots with a wave of babies
alabastorArchfiend and you have to /eat/ it to win
<Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Halley got a pair of Viscious Dentures, you couldn't have picked a better time]]
auroraAuxillatrix is actually not with the group! After ensuring Halley's safety, she thanked the vet and took her leave. She was going to find that pooch, like it or not. Heeeeere. woofy woofybeast!
<Nitro>: Hey!
<Nitro>: Halley is useful for finding!
<PurpleKoopa>: ugggghh i have ilk the WURST hagnogver right now + a dreem to boot
<Nitro>: Why would you leave him behind?
<Nitro>: B[
<PurpleKoopa>: do u know if i won the dronking competish
PurpleKoopa said Halley!
PurpleKoopa ^that was a dumb joke, please ignore
VodkaMutini[Neko] Halley also has a cat on his head!
Nitro said Roxy!
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: halley == > track that impetuous alien down)
alabastorArchfiend Still a twitching mess, it takes him a minute to process his surroundings? Friends? Enemies? /Babies/? Oh god, that last one terrified him. No more babies, /no/.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: "Honk," said Gamzee.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: From directly behind Nero.
<Nitro>: He did indeed! He pushed open the door and immediately sniffed around. From what he understood, the humans were supposed to deliver that package to the bar. And indeed the clowny dude led towards there! Then..honked at Weird Boy.
PurpleKoopa applejack and babies. these kids are going to have the weirdest set of phobias once this game is over.]
<Nitro>: Humans and their interactions. So /weird/.
<Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood>: [[Snrrrrrrk]]
<PurpleKoopa>: WHOA GAMZ whare did u pop up frum
alabastorArchfiend Oh god, what the fuck was /that/. With a hiss he jolts up again, still bristling like a deer in headlights. And it was...and...was...
VodkaMutini[Neko] makes a honk/meow at Gamzee.
alabastorArchfiend .../Gamzee/, of all people. Not a baby, and definitely not anything to be afraid of. Unless you had coulrophobia. Catching his breath, he slumped against the chair.
<alabastorArchfiend>: jesus christ gamzee, you scared the /piss/ outta me.
tenaciouslyCrunknasty He just grins knowingly.
tenaciouslyCrunknasty And honks back at Mutini.
<PurpleKoopa>: lol yeah that was kinda an unexpascted entry
<Nitro>: Halley barked from behindside Gamzee to garner the crew's attention. Come on, let's go, we've got a canine to find. No time to waste.
VodkaMutini[Neko] honk/meows back
<Nitro>: ...Actually, /lots/ of time to waste, but...details.
<PurpleKoopa>: hey guys i think the dogs found samething
<PurpleKoopa>: it had better b pain releiever b/c this haggover is just terrible
alabastorArchfiend Oh...there goes his adrenaline. It slowly ebbs a away, replaced with exhaustion. Now he just feels tired, with a ringing headache to boot. Damn, he hated nightmares. And you know what? He hated all nighters too.
<Nitro>: Halley didn't correct the assumption that he found something, mostly because he couldn't. He turned instead. Come on, kids. He could still remember getting lost when he was but a tiny pup. It had been pretty scary without Master! But he was found and consoled quickly.
<Nitro>: That was back before he'd learned to be a fearless adventurer.
<Nitro>: Most dogs weren't fearless adventurers, and he wouldn't want them to feel scared and alone like that.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: "You damn right, dogbro," Gamzee says aloud in response to nothing in particular.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty>: He follows Halley.
PurpleKoopa groggily followed the fearless adventurer and his lovable clown sidekick. Looks like they knew what they were doing!
alabastorArchfiend does the same, with similarly little gusto. He didn't want to expend more than he needed; he'd probably drop /dead/ if he did.
<Nitro>: Halley headed out of town into the forest -- out of the vehicle, of course, since it would be easier to smell the other dog. Upon reaching the forest, he decided to use his keen canine senses in order to track his cousin. [i.e. his special ability]
20:34           auroraAuxillatrix is way ahead of you, dearie. She might not be a dog, but she knew nature like the back of her hand. Living among it as a young wriggler made her feel confident in it, natural even. She too hoped to find the dog, though her companions would do just as well.
20:34           auroraAuxillatrix Perhaps they were looking as well?
20:35           VodkaMutini[Neko] loves the Halley ride << u >>
20:36           *** VodkaMutini[Neko] quit (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
20:38           Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood casually gets distracted and also brbs for food because]]
20:38           tenaciouslyCrunknasty Gamzee just fondly regards the surrounding nature. Damn. life is beautiful.
20:38           *** VodkaMutini[Neko] joined #Flarp2
20:38           Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood I hunger <n>]]
20:41           PurpleKoopa hey sinistar, how's it going]
20:41           PurpleKoopa dinner break, then?]
20:44           Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood Yes dinner break .C.]]
20:45   Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood       [[Or perhaps a dinner break soon, I'll try and get out a post or two o:]]
20:47   Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood       *** The party arrives at the FOREST-- the PROPER entrance to the forest, at that! The fallen trees and debris from past storms have already been cleaned right up, leaving only snapped twigs and leaves. What do you know! Halley, tapping into their intensified canine senses, manage to successfully deduce that the pressence of the other dog... iiis... just a few
20:48   Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood       spaces north-- two? Three? Close, but yet so far away, at that.
20:51           auroraAuxillatrix Does This Mean Im Lost
20:53   PurpleKoopa     buuuh kanaanana
20:53   PurpleKoopa     i am feeling terable right now do i really hafta follow u guys in the lost woods for
20:53   PurpleKoopa     uh
20:53   PurpleKoopa     man i dont even KNOWOW what were doing here anway
20:53   PurpleKoopa     i think i missed a meno or something
20:54           auroraAuxillatrix Im Lost Arent I
20:54           auroraAuxillatrix is lost.
20:54   tenaciouslyCrunknasty   Findin' a dog what has lost his way, girl.
20:54           auroraAuxillatrix swoon.
20:54   tenaciouslyCrunknasty   Or her way. How are we even gonna know if it's the right motherfuckin' dog?
20:55   PurpleKoopa     well do we have something w/ the dodgs scent
20:55   Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood       [[Oh-- shit, did I miss something, I'm sorry x:']]
20:55   PurpleKoopa     harley can sniff that & then do a quick dog butt check once we actually find im
20:55   tenaciouslyCrunknasty   Maybe the longing to up and be found will be all visible in his soulful eyes or someshit.
20:56   PurpleKoopa     its prolly just a lil dog whos all alaone in the spooky woofs w/ no one to b ther for him
20:56   PurpleKoopa     *woods
20:57           auroraAuxillatrix is separated from the others! She went looking for the dog some time ago.
20:57           PurpleKoopa whoops
20:57           PurpleKoopa roxy how many drinks did you have
21:00           tenaciouslyCrunknasty enough to talk to a vaguely kanaya shaped tree))
21:03           PurpleKoopa compliments Kanatree on her lovely wooden complexion. Such a wonderful sylvan babe.
21:04   PurpleKoopa     aaaah are we gonna look for rovver or wat
21:04           auroraAuxillatrix Kanatree thanks you for your lovely compliment. She uses all natural honey blush to keep her bark clean!
21:05   PurpleKoopa     screw waiting around fo hallie im just gonna track it down w/ my hyper seanstitive nose
21:06   PurpleKoopa     if i can smell booze from miles away y not dogs
21:06   tenaciouslyCrunknasty   Shhh, sister. Dogbro's got some sort of smell.
21:06           PurpleKoopa follows whatever weird hunch she has and takes those /feeeeeew/ steps up north.

21:14           --- Vinyl|calamitousGodlyhood is away (Food. 3
21:16           alabastorArchfiend don't mind him, he's nearly half-dead. But his senses aren't that dull, even if they're somewhat paltry for a demon. Still far better than a human. With a resigned nudge, he glumly informed Gamzee "trust me on this one, its north."
21:16   alabastorArchfiend      "now cmon, let'
21:16   alabastorArchfiend      s see santa
21:16           alabastorArchfiend nero maybe you should just
21:16           alabastorArchfiend sleep
21:17           VodkaMutini[Neko] curls up and falls asleep on Halleys head.
21:17           *** VodkaMutini[Neko] left #Flarp2
21:17           *** auroraAuxillatrix is now known as Kansis|chthonianGunslinger
21:17   tenaciouslyCrunknasty   Awww ye.
21:22           PurpleKoopa is jaspers still here?]
21:23   tenaciouslyCrunknasty   idek bro)
21:28           *** tenaciouslyCrunknasty is now known as non
21:29           PurpleKoopa i'm kind of zoning out whenever i look at this, i'm just gonna call it quits unless jaspers hops back on]
21:32   non     me too man)