Eric & Snowdrift & Chipotle

>Hell yeah, you're coming home with some Chipotle
>Your two rather new fluffy ponies, Snowdrift and Eric, are happy to see you
>Eric, that's funny, that's a person name, not a pony name, you're a funny guy
>Eric is a light blue pegasus fluffy who's kind of naughty but Snowdrift is a pure white earth fluffy who always tries to behave
>You promise you'll make them some spaghetti later, after you eat
>They need to learn not to beg between mealtimes
>First you put your food on the coffee table and go to get a soda from the fridge
>However, when you come back, the bag has been tipped over
>There's a wrapper on the floor with the barest leavings of beans, sauce and tortilla on it
>Both of your fluffy pets are looking up at you guiltily, they have hot sauce on their muzzles and their eyes are watering
>You put your fists on your hips like you're in a sitcom or something, you dramatic bastard
>"What did you guys do?"
>Snowdrift is first to spill the beans as it were
>That's a pun because there were beans in the burrito, see
>Goddamn you're funny
>"Daddy go get bubbawee dwink, an' Ewic say fwuffies reawwy needed nummies..."
>Eric, quick to cover his ass, interrupts "Snowdwift say tummy huwt fwom no nummies!"
>"... an' Ewic fwap wingies ta cwimb Snowdwift backie. Puww da nummie bag! Bag smeww so good!"
>Eric's watery eyes are now matched by a drooling mouth. The spiciness seems not to be going away and is hurting him. "Nummies huwt Ewic's tongue, but dey so good. An' Ewic hungwy, so fwuffies kep eatin' dem..."
>"Fwufies kep eatin' dem, now moufies huwt!"
>"Dey huwt bad, daddy!"
>"DEY HUWT!"
>As though he's been fighting the urge to do it, Eric begins dragging his tongue across the floor, trying to get rid of the persistent spicy taste
>Snowdrift, who is better-behaved and probably ate less, looks with concern at his brother fluffy
>Eric finally tilts his head back and groans "OWWIE! Tummy huwt!"
>"Wat bad, fwiend?!" inquires Snowdrift
>Eric tilts his head down, shutting his eyes "Ewic poopy pwace huwt now! Huwt bad!"
>Before you can say or do anything, Snowdrift is scooting up behind Eric, apparently trying to get a look at the poor little bastard's smarting asshole "Snowdwift fix poopy pwace! Hewp fwiend!"
>Bad move. A geyser of reddish-brown, hot sauce infused diarrhea shoots out of Eric's butt, splattering Snowdrift in the face and all over his perfect white poofy fur
>It gets in his eyes and he shouts in alarm at the stinging spiciness
>This makes him open his mouth, where it goes too
>He is so upset that he likewise craps a bunch of liquidated burrito out, squealing as it stings
>Eric cries out and turns around, trying to spare his friend the horror coming out of his back end
>Snowdrift is so upset he vomits on Eric, matting his fluff in turn
>"NO SMEWW PWETTY!" Eric announces, almost as though he has no other recourse but to state this formula
>"Why poopies on fwiend? Fwiend twy HELP! WHAD IS HAPPENIN'?" Snowdrift demands of the universe at large, alternating explosions of your burrito from front and back
>Eric is still shitting up a storm, you half-expect to see him deflate from it
>These two dearest friends can only hug each other in desperation for some kind of solace from the most horrible situation they have ever known
>All this does is wetly combine their awfully soiled fluff while they weep and continue to expel bodily fluids on each other and under themselves
>In their fear, they piss themselves too
>"NUUUUUU!"
>"BUWNIIIIN'!"
>It's like watching a train wreck, tears and puke and doodoo and pee go everywhere and they seem to have no concept of moving away from the growing mound they're in, because they can't bring themselves to stop hugging
>It's so foul and transfixing that you never even imagine to pull them apart and get it on your hands
>Eventually they fall asleep, doubtless dreaming fitful dreams of the terrors they have survived
>You can't stop laughing, even though you love them, because surely even THEY will learn not to steal your food from this day forward
>Wait
>You're the one who's going to have to all clean this up
>And your remaining Chipotle is cold by now
>God dammit