Going Out of Freestyle by M.A. Larson (AI 'episode')

***
The first thing I need from you
Is that one line you say when you wake up in the morning
It's called "I woke up today..."

    Coco Pommel: You wanna be the next big rap star? Well, come with me and I'll show you what it takes!

    Coco Pommel: It's time for a lesson in the history of pony rap. This is where all of your knowledge needs to start. This is the beginning, the root. You've gotta know what came before to understand what you're about to hear. This here's where it all started, way back when ponies were still on the savannah. And I'll tell you all about this great pony named Giddy Giddypop. He was the greatest rapping dinosaur ever known, with his famous rhymes about how he wanted a new pair of shoes, or his big old teeth.
    Giddy Giddypop: I need more room for my choppers and fangs.
    Coco Pommel: Now let's move onto the great Ponyville Rap War of '82 between the two-headed beasts, Giddy Giddypop and his brother Hopsie, and the ponies from Appleloosa, Flippy-Hop and the other ones, and we can start with the story of how Flippy-Hop got his name.
    Flippy-Hop: It started out fine and dandy. We're having a great time singing our great hits and playing our instruments, but then one day, the two-headed beasts started to get jealous.
    Coco Pommel: Oh no! What did they do? They started making all these terrible rhymes.
    Flippy-Hop: They made me rhyme like this, "My hoof has four little feet/but not my hoofs, it's my hooves."
    Coco Pommel: And Hopsie made me rhyme like this, "It's not easy being green."
    Coco Pommel: Oh my stars! That's awful! What did their rhymes even mean?!
Flippy-Hop: It's like that thing with the sun in the sky that comes up and sets.
    Flippy-Hop: That's it! My hooves are like that!
Coco Pommel: Oh no! Now they've gotten you saying horrible things. I don't think the ponies of Appleloosa could have come up with anything worse. But there were more than just words involved in the war. There were weapons too. Like a big ol' spear, and some pretty fancy arrows.
Hopsie: And a little wooden arrow that's pointed and painted red, blue, green, and yellow.
Flippy-Hop: And a whole lot of poison.
Hopsie: Yeah, we tried to shoot you all with a bunch of it.
Flippy-Hop: I was hit so many times! It got really hard to keep rapping about what I had for lunch or who my friends are!
Hopsie: But then the two-headed beasts came up with some new tricks, and it was up to us ponies of Appleloosa to come up with one last big rhyme. And we did!
Flippy-Hop: I said to the other guys, "What are they up to?"
Coco Pommel: And they said, "They're coming after your hooves."
Flippy-Hop: Oh! I'm scared! I better make some more rhymes before it's too late.
Coco Pommel: And I thought about it for a minute and this is what I came up with! "It's time to fight! Giddy and Hopsie/We will not let you destroy us!"
Flippy-Hop: That's good. But what about your hooves?
Coco Pommel: Oh, I thought it up on the fly too. We gotta keep those two-headed beasts away from our hoofs! And that's how we won the Appleloosa Rap War of '82! And since then, all the other towns have joined together under the banner of Ponyville in order to protect the great rhymes and musical talent that has come from this land. Now it's up to you to make sure that the music of the future continues to come from here. And the only way to do that is by becoming the greatest rap star the world has ever seen!
    Rarity: Er, darling, don't you think you're taking this whole 'rap' thing a little too far?
Coco Pommel: You know I am! This is gonna be the best song ever!
Rarity: Oh, but... Coco, this is not exactly the most sophisticated form of music there is.
Coco Pommel: I don't care if it's not sophisticated. It's still rapping. And I love it.
Rarity: Well, maybe you should try something less, uh... earth pony-ish?
Coco Pommel: But there's nothing more important than rapping. That's why it's so important for me to get to the top, like now. That's why I have to work harder than everyone else! And no one's gonna stop me!
Rarity: Yes, they will, sweetheart! If you're not careful, you could end up looking like a fool in front of your entire audience. And I just can't see that working for you at all!
Coco Pommel: You think so? Maybe I'll write another rap about all those who tried to bring me down before.
Rarity: Coco! That's the kind of thing a loser might do!
Coco Pommel: Well, I'm a loser.
Twilight Sparkle: Could you explain 'freestyling' to us?
Coco Pommel: Of course!
("Coco's Freestyle" by Daniel Ingram)
Yo, uh, ayyo, yo, yo
Coco Pommel: Yo! Ayy, yay-yay, hey-hey-heeey!
Uh, yeah, uh huh, yeah, uh-huh,
You don't understand what a freestyle is!
You don't understand it,
No way, no how!
You don't, and that's okay!
'Cause I've got some good news for ya!
I don't either!
So let me take you on a trip!
And show you what's goin' down.
I'm gonna take this whole beat and do whatever I feel like it!
That's what a freestyle is!
Oh yeah!
And I am a master of that art.
Uh-huh, oh yeah!
I got rhythm like you can't even begin to imagine.
So you're really gonna have to come at me strong!
I can rhyme over anything, anywhere, anytime.
But don't worry, I can do the same!
So come get at me, because that's my name, yo!
Uh-huh, oh yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
That's right!
Coco Pommel: Yeah! Yo! Ayyo!
Uh huh!
Oh! Yeah!
Ayyy, yo!
Coco Pommel: Yo! Ayyo! Ayy, yay-yay! Hey, hey, yeah, yeah, oh-ho, oh-ho! Uh-huh, yeah!
You want to hear a little somethin' for my friends, huh? Okay! Well, this one goes out to all my best buds... and my friends who I haven't met yet. It's called "Friends Forever!"
Twilight Sparkle: What?
Coco Pommel: This one's for my mommy and daddy.
Coco Pommel: They always taught me that friends were the most important thing in the world.
Trixie: Oho, somepony else in this podunk town thinks that they can 'spit game'? You may not know this if you haven't yet read her memoirs, but the Great and Powerful Trixie's first magic was the magic of rhyme!
Trixie: I was born and raised with the rhyme flowing through my veins!
Twilight Sparkle: And I'll bet it still is.
 Snails: No! Uh uh! Trixie has the power to turn your words into rhymes! She's unstoppable!
Trixie: Well then, how about a little test? A little freestyle competition?
Coco Pommel: I accept!
(Song: "The Freestyle Competition" by Daniel Ingram)
Trixie: I'll go first:
You're a little lame pony stuck without any bits/
I'm the one who kills time doing magic with spits/


Rapping's my hobby, and I got mad skillz
Freestyling on my hoof.
Now here comes my freestylin' foe!
He can rap just like me with his freestlyelin' ways/
His words are fast, his beats are funky and tight/
He's an alien with the power to rap like an Earth-pony!
I'll give him all of my rhymes, or he'll never beat/
My rhymin' skills so you don't have to worry 'bout that!
Trixeee, yo! You can try, but you cannot win!
'Cause I've got the best rhyming in every universe/
And if you want to battle me, let's get to the freestyles/
And see who ends up out of freestyle.
Flip it over and flip it again!
Let's do this!
Rhinestone, yo! Now you know that's just plain stupid/
You're not worth my freestylin', and I'll prove it.
Flip it over and flip it again!
Let's do this!
Flip it over and flip it again!
Let's do this!
Flip it over and flip it again!
Let's do this!
Flip it over and flip it again!
Let's do this!
Coco Pommel: Yeah, you better watch your step!
I'm that dressmaker boutta dress you down for a sec

So don't test me 'cause I know that I'll blow you away, yo!
I mean, I think it's clear enough to say that I'll put ya back where ya belong!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, Coco! This is amazing! But you know we have no time to waste! If you really wanna become the greatest rap star in the world, then you need to be at full speed now.
Coco Pommel: No problem, Twilight! Here's another one. It's called "Saved By The Hoofs."
"Oh ho, what can you possibly do? You might be a monster with two heads/
But when these two-headed beasts come around to make us their prey/
We will fight them off because they have nowhere left to go!"
Twilight Sparkle: Oh... oh dear. I don't understand any of this.
Rarity: Perhaps there was a better way to present it than with such vulgar language, darling.
Coco Pommel: Well, maybe so, but if I want to be the best, I've got to learn how to use everything to my advantage. And this is just one more thing to add to that list. So let me see you spit some rhymes and beat 'em like I told you too!
"I am a princess from the magical land of Equestria/
And all you are is something I'll never forget."
Coco Pommel: Heyyyy! Ayyo, ayyo, yay-yaahhh! Yo!
You're nothin' but a buncha losers who can't rhyme right!
Yeah yeah, uh huh, yeah! You think you got somethin'? Come on now/
Well, let me show ya where you stand and give you one last chance!/
Uh, yeah! Uh, huh! Yeah, you should have tried harder!/
To get your freestylin' ways outta the gutter and into a rhyming book./
Because I'm gonna put you in the place you belong!
Right back here with the rest of your crew!
Rarity: Darling, what is this music? What is this rapping about?! This is absolutely disgusting! It sounds as if it came from... well, from a little pony's hoofs!
Coco Pommel: But why can't you just accept that I do things my own way, like no other before or after me could ever imagine possible?
Twilight Sparkle: No, we can't just accept that. We need to teach you how wonderful words can be when used properly instead of this kind of nonsense!
Rarity: Yes! That's exactly the point! And once again, our darling daughter has failed us in her quest for rap stardom! She hasn't learned anything from this experience at all! Why must she always push herself beyond limits of good taste? What does any of this mean?!
Raindrops: Well, I'm sorry Rarity, but this song isn't really about what Coco thinks it means. She wrote it because she wanted to say what needed saying and felt that the only way she'd get it said was through rap music. In fact, if it hadn't been written with such raw emotion and honesty, none of us would even understand what it's actually talking about! Now don't get angry on me. If you want to stop making these silly songs and start doing something productive with your time, I suggest that you come up with some kind of new invention to make life easier for ponies everywhere, instead of wasting so much of it listening to the music made by other ponies who aren't as talented or creative! You're better than that!
Trixeee, yo! I'll show you why the freestyles is nothin' without my rhymin', yo/
If you wanna win, you gotta bring out every last thing, yah!/
So if ya ain't ready, then I'm comin' hard like a thunderstorm, oh yeah!
Coco Pommel: Oh, that was amazing, Trixee! I never knew you could do something that powerful while sounding completely sweet! But what's wrong? Why are you crying?
Rarity: I-I'm sorry, dear! Please forgive me! It just hurts to think about how badly Coco's being treated! She didn't ask for any of this. And when we told her not to go down that path... well, maybe that was foolish of us. We've been very bad parents! I can't believe I thought our only purpose in life should be to put together fabulous clothes and give pony gifts that no one will ever appreciate. That isn't all there is to life, is it?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know, Rarity. What do you mean?
Raindrops: Well, Coco said she has always wanted more than the things her parents have given her. She wants to be a real star and follow her dreams. Just because they haven't followed hers doesn't mean we should force ours on her. Maybe it would help us all if we let her try.
Pinkamena Ponyknight: Yeah!
Twilight Sparkle: I... uh, agree with Pinkamina. I think we'd be doing a disservice to our daughter if we kept making fun of her dreams now. They say every kid goes through some sort of rebellion phase, but what makes a child really grow up is realizing the error of their ways before too much damage is done. If we keep putting her down when she tries so hard to make her own way in the world, she'll never get anywhere. We can either learn from her mistakes or repeat them ourselves when she's old enough to start following her dream of becoming a great musician, and then who knows where she might end up? Now I don't want anyone else trying to teach her anything until she's learned everything herself, but we still need to show her what kind of ponies we are. So... um... maybe instead of being upset at how Coco thinks, let's find out why she feels like this is the only thing worth doing?
Raindrops: Good idea. It sounds better in my head. But anyway, I'm gonna go talk to her myself, and see if there's anypony I can persuade into helping me convince her to listen to reason. 'Cause while I may not understand what Coco's going for right now, I know that one day I'll be singing along with her, and all these years of pain will finally come to an end.
Trixeee: Yeah! That's the spirit, Raindrops! Go do what you gotta do. Just make sure to let us know if you ever figure out a good song about it.
Coco Pommel: Uh-huh. You just leave me alone and let me rap my heart away/
'Cause I ain't never felt this real with my whole life and hoofs intact./
It's time to put my freestyling skills to the test!
You're lookin' like your rhymes are so weak they might have gone extinct!/
And now, I am gonna kick them in the face, yay/
So if you think you've got what it takes, come on! Let's go!/
If ya can beat me, I'll give up my career and move outta town, yo!
Rain Drops: Hey, Twilight! Did you hear the news? Somepony from the city was here looking for you! She said something about a special job! I told her she'd find you back at your school or at home! I hope everything's okay! Oh no! What should we do?!
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry! I'll deal with this somehow! Come on, Trixee! We don't want Rarity thinking that every pony in Ponyville is some kind of delinquent! There has to be another way around this! And besides, even though Coco isn't exactly acting right, I still believe in her, because deep down inside I know there's always someone who loves their parents unconditionally... just not as much as you would probably like.
Rarity: It must have been quite an ordeal for our little daughter to get into this situation! I'm sure we were too strict when she was growing up and taught her nothing but how important appearances are over substance.
Raindrops: But maybe it wasn't all bad! Maybe you did teach her something, and now she wants to change that part of herself. Just keep being nice and understanding toward her while she's learning! You never know what might happen.
Coco Pommel: That sounds easy enough. Thanks, mom. I really appreciate the support!