Diary? >_> Journal* /rational thoughts thingy

Not even sure what I want to say here, but I can't let BPD control my life anymore. I'm going to start that medicine again, even though it makes me feel like a zombie. If she lets me stay in her life, I can't be doing this, no matter how well she understands she still is hurt. I can only pray that she actually wants me to stay..
[edit: It DOESNT control my life, shit events did. They are over now, things are looking brighter. I can have a nice future with her as a friend, it really can happen.]