Nick Bate demos

As some of you (mainly Maddi) know, I often burst into impromtu song whenever something pops into my head. Which is a lot. Some are actually p decent, but unfortunately I can never recapture the same soond as the original improvised version. No idea why. In the mp3 provided, you'll hear shitty attempts of my favourite 17 songs plus a brand-new one I made up on the spot. Hell, I actually forgot the melody to a couple of them, but tried and failed anyway. As a bonus treat, I play guitar on each track using only the Em chord! Please note that the guitar I play does not necessarily reflect how I want the guitar to sound in the finished versions, if there ever are any. Unfortunately I forgot to do "Performing Anilingus on Children". Oh well. Too late now.

1. "Soundcheck" [*]
This one is me testing the input volume level to make sure I didn't cause clipping or whatever. This is the bonus track I mentioned. Made it up on the spot. That's why the vocals sound less tone-deaf than every other song.
2. "Doing Children in the Butt"
Many of my songs involve sex with children. Dunno why. I should get it checked out by a professional. Oh, but there's an upside-- it's also aboot sex with my wife Anna!
3. "Blowin' Up the U.S."
I remember writing this one while painting my biological aunt's garage. In my head it had a full backing band, a rarity with my songs. I think it was surf rock or something. I think I fudged the lyrics a bit; originally there was another line but I forgot how to work it into the melody. Especially after I forgot the melody.
4. "I Am Not a Kitten"
Maddi's favourite! This popped into my head while I was having a voice chat with her in Pokémon, and when I sang it she burst into hysterical laughter. Later she posted the lyrics on Facebook and also had me do an encore of it in a Skype chat with Thom. Of course, it wasn't as good as the first performance, but they both still enjoyed it for some reason.
5. "Anal Rape"
In my head, this one's a death metal with loud-ass guitars, or possibly loud ass-guitars. The only lyrics (so far) are "anal rape". The lines are just repeated over and over. And they're not even sung half of the time, just spoken with a death metal accent. The other half? Screamed.
6. "Anally Raping Children"
Although written much later than "Anal Rape", I decided the subjects were so similar that I'd put them next to each other. This song has the most horrific lyrics of anything I've ever done and were probably channeled from my days as a vandal on Wikipedia, claiming to be a serial killer who torture-rapes and cannibalizes females of all ages. Needless to say I don't really do such things and don't plan to. I do however have uncontrollable mental videos I should probably get checked out.
7. "Oh, Baby (I Have Rabies)"
One of two songs created for my (hopefully) upcoming Flash series The Coffee Crew. The character Goliath is a recording artist (among other things), so I needed to give him some songs. Since he's an actual irl canine, both songs are dog-centric. Also, he does disco. I'm not sure how to get this song to be a disco. Especially because I don't know what disco is.
8. "Do the Doggy Disco"
The other Goliath song. This one's his "hit single" that he's always bragging aboot and randomly singing all the time. The guitar riff I did in this recording is probably the best musical thing I've ever done. It's way too good to be written by me. I'm thinking maybe I heard it in an actual song but forgot aboot it, but then the riff remained in my subsconscious or something. That's the only explanation. Also, I think in the finished version that riff'll probably be not guitar, but something else. Keyboard? Bass? I dunno. Whatever instruments are in disco.
9. "The Anus of Anus"
Another one that I forgot the melody to. It's supposed to be a soulful ballad praising Anna's glorious anus.
10. "(Gonna Stick It in) Anna's Butt"
This one actually has an okay tune and even slightly humourous lyrics. And this version isn't too far off from the original for once. I dunno what the verses will be like in the finished version, but I imagine they're slow and maybe kinda sad and they have an abrupt ending, and then suddenly it bursts into this upbeat chorus. Comedic effect!
11. "Butts, Butts, Butts"
The shortest of my songs. I think maybe my subconscious was thinking of "More, More, More" by Andrea True Connection and came up with a corrupted version.
12. "Everybody's Pooping Except for You"
Even though I only have two lines written, I know what this song's aboot. It's aboot Anna. And she doesn't poop, which makes me sad because I like poop. And so I sing aboot it and try to convince her to poop. I don't know why but I'm thinking this is kind of a country song. With a slow tempo, though. And it sounds sad, because the lyrics are sad.
13. "Every Day Is Like Feces"
Another sad, slow country song aboot Anna. This one's aboot my current situation, what with her not loving me yet. Basically I'm utilizing a terrible simile, saying that every day is like feces without her being in my life. Which actually makes very little sense, because I rather enjoy feces.
14. "Vaginas Suck"
An autobiographic song aboot my hatred of vag. This is one of my favourites of my favourites and I try to sing it in my head a lot. If I could only sing it out loud! Argh!
15. "Buttfuckin' in the 'hood"
My longest song. Good lord, it's Nick attempting rap. I've had the verse in my head for a long time but wrote the chorus a lot later. Originally it had the working titles "My Name Is Nick" and "Sick-Minded", but once the chorus happened I decided it'd be better to use a line from that as the title rather than a verse line. In my head I imagine an echo on the last word of most lines.
16. "Tinfoil Bowl"
I think this may have been my first song. The original lyrics were even worse than the current ones, and trying to sing them out loud made me cringe. Even more than the current ones, I mean. Obviously the song is aboot smoking pot out of a bowl made of tinfoil. Which I've done before. I wish I could figure out how to make the meaning less obvious. I imagine two different versions of this song-- a slow version with xylophone, and a faster psychedelic-rock version. I dunno which would be on an album. I also dunno how the non-album one'd be released. B-side of a single, maybe? Also, the faster version has trippy echoing vocals.
17. "Penises Are Everywhere"
An amusing novelty song. The original version didn't have the gradually increasing tempo that somehow happened in this recording (it had a p middling tempo), but I like this version too. It sounds really familiar. I think I accidentally plageurized, but I dunno from what.
18. "I Like Sex (But Only in the Butt and Mouth)"
At first I was gonna skip this because I forgot the melody, but then I realized "Hey, that didn't stop me from doing the other ones I forgot!" so then I did it anyway.
19. "I Like Sex (But Only in the Butt and Mouth)" (Take 2)
Decided to do another version to see if I could figure out how the original went. I did not. It ended up just being a faster version of the first take.