AiE: You Can't Spell Friend Without Fiend Chapter 6

> PP: “A party!”
> Close enough.
> Riding in on a pony drawn chariot seems a bit odd but no one seems to be questioning it. Although the looks you’re getting are just chock full of WHY.
“Haters gonna hate.”
> Luna: “D-don’t be nervous Anonymous, surely the ponies will be accepting of us.”
> Oh Luna. You rub a hand along the back of her neck to calm her and she leans up against your side.
> Shortly after you find a suitably sized pitcher to quench your mighty thirst you spot Celestia speaking to Twilight who is suddenly mobbed by the other five ponies present in last night’s debacle. You might as well meet your parole officer in a friendly environment.
“Ladies…”
> Smooth Anon, smooth. Well it got their attention at least.
“I just thought I’d introduce myself to Twilight here since we’ll be getting acquainted soon enough.”
> Cel: “Well I just informed twilight and the other elements that while she is learning about friendship here in Ponyville, she will also be studying you and your integration into Ponyville.”
“Neat, then I guess this is as good a time as any to reintroduce myself to the first people to kick my ass in a new dimension, if you don’t count that sandwich on the moon.”
> The ponies give you a curious look before that pink pony jumps up towards you and you catch her, cradling her in your arms.
> PP: “Well you sure seem friendly enough! I’m Pinkie Pie and I organized this party for Princess Luna’s return and I guess your return too, unless of course you weren’t here to start with in which case that would make it a welcoming/homecoming party for you and Luna and if I’m gonna welcome you to Ponyville then I’m gonna need your name Mr.…”
> Oh sweet lord can she talk. What was that last part? Oh yeah, your name, right.
“The name’s Anonymous, I guess y’all can call me Anon for short.”
> Like a fellow proper southerner should, the orange pony in the hat sticks her hoof towards you.
> OP: “Well shoot, if’n y’all had been this friendly from the get go, we coulda avoided all the trouble. My name’s Applejack, pardner.”
> Setting Pinkie down on the ground you reach down to grab Applejack’s hoof in a firm shake.
“I gotta tell ya Ms. Applejack, it’s a right pleasure to hear a familiar accent, especially with a voice as pleasing’ to the ears as yours.”
> She blushes a bit and looks down to hide behind her hat.
> AJ: “Shucks, he’s a gentlecolt too.” She mumbles quietly.
> Next a white pony, who seems pleased with your manners, steps up to address you.
> WP: “Well despite the smell it’s good to see you have some sense of decency and such a flatterer. You may call me Rarity.” She daintily holds up a hoof not quite high enough for you to reach from you stand.
> Seeing that acting fancy obviously tickles her fancy you take a knee then hold her hoof in the palm of your hand and give it a small kiss.
“Yes, charmed I’m sure.” You say with the mildest sarcasm.
> Hold on, what smell?
> You take a whiff of your pits to get a gauge on the smell and it would seem that on the moon, no one can tell you stink.
> Now it’s that guy you heard from the crowd last night’s turn.
> That guy: “Come on Rarity, what do you expect a giant monkey to smell like?” He says to Rarity before turning towards you as you stand back up to full height with a sheepish grin. “Uh, no offense intended dude.”
“None taken uh…”
> TG: “Oh yeah, I’m Rainbow Dash, the fastest flier in Equestria.”
> There’s something about this guy you can’t quite put your finger on.
“Well Dash, think your faster than,” You snap your fingers and shoot him the finger guns which crackle with small spots of electricity. “Lightning?”
> He gets a competitive grin before saying, “I guess we’ll have to find out one of these days huh?” He sticks a hoof towards you.
> Huh, I guess he’s going for it.
> You holster the guns and return his hoof with your fist. For ponies they do have quite a repertoire of gestures.
>Hang on, Pinkie, AJ, Rarity, Dash and Twilight who you still need to meet and greet with.
> Where’s pony number six?
> As if she read you mind Pinkie steps to the side revealing a shivering yellow Pegasus who must think she’s invisible behind her pink mane.
> Noticing your approach she lets out a small *eep* and shakes a little harder.
“Easy now, I ain’t gonna hurt ya alright?” You speak in as soft a voice as you can muster.
> She turns her head to the side and you see one of her turquoise eyes looking up at your face with a glint of fear.
“Come on, your friends already told me their names, what’s yours?”
> Yellow Quiet: “*mumble* flutters *mumble*”
“Fluttershy?” You ask hoping you heard her right.
> She nods a little and goes back to hiding behind her mane.
“Well Fluttershy, if you ever feel up to it, you can talk to me any time the warden sees fit.” You say pointing towards Twilight.
> This whole time Twilight’s been scribbling down what you assume must be her observations so you approach her slowly and while she’s distracted you snatch the parchment out of her telekinetic grip.
> Twi: “Hey! I was in the middle of that sentence!”
“Boss, it’s a party, lighten up. We got plenty of time for me to dictate my memoirs after we loosen up.”
> Cel: “He does have a point Twilight; he isn’t going anywhere anytime soon so why not have some fun for now?”
> Twilight looks flustered but gives in to her teacher’s whims.
> Wonder what she wrote about you anyway.
> One look at the paper and what you read makes your brain hurt.
> Or more accurately what you DON’T read.
“What the fuck am I reading?”
> Twilight snatches the paper back and it disappears behind her.
> Twi: “My writing isn’t that bad Anonymous.”
“I couldn’t read any of that! That was like pony hieroglyphs or something.”
> Twi: “So while we speak the same language we have different forms of writing? Fascinating!”
> Twilight runs off towards that giant tree in the center of town.
> Nerd.
“Wonder what Luna’s up to.”
> Off you went only to find Luna babying a glass of punch at a table by herself.
“Luna?” You say starling her slightly.
> Luna: “Oh Anonymous, we weren’t expecting you.”
“You okay? This is a welcome home party for you.”
> Luna: “We know however we can’t help but feel that the ponies aren’t quite as receptive of us as our sister has been.”
> Time to cheer her up.
“Well I for one welcome my new pony overlord. And I ain’t talking about Celestia.”
> She cracks a small smile.
> It begins.
“Yes, all hail the Night Queen Luna!”
> Her smile widens.
“All are welcome in the New Lunar Republic!”
> She giggles slightly.
> You take her hoof in your palm for the next one.
“The night shall not last forever but my love for the night will.”
> And she takes her hoof away.
> Oh shit.
> Luna: “Anonymous, we appreciate your actions and we understand your feelings. However it’s best if we remain friends. My sister’s sentencing has you tied down here in Ponyville and we shall be all the way in Canterlot.” Before you can respond she continues. “Even if we we’re in such close proximity, we’d be tied to our duties as princess. Let alone you being an alien. We care not, but the citizens and my sister? They’d never have a non pony as King. Don’t you see? Our love cannot be.”
“You said our love. So then you love me back right? Because I really think I love you.”
> Luna: “Yes but we simply cannot love you.”
> So that’s it? All the time you spent together, learning about each other and being there for each other amounts to nothing?
“Then show me.” You say clenching your fists at your sides.
> Luna: “Show you what?”
“Show me you love me and can just walk away from what we could have had together.”
> She’s obviously hurt but then again so are you. You’ve had this happen before and you were always afraid to have the woman you love walk away from you again.
> Luna: “You knew as well as I did that we could never be just friends without hurting each other. So rather than hang on to hope you want a decision now? Very well then, here is your answer.”
> She trots up to you and magically pulls you into a deep kiss.
> Then.
> Then she turns around and walks away.
“Fuck.” That’s all you can manage to sputter out right before you drop down to your knees and slam your fists down on the ground. As you attempt to hold back the tears forming in the corners of your eyes she spreads her wings and flies off.

End Chapter 6