Hello guys today I'll be doing something I don't usually do.. I'm going to have to make a serious video here about what's going on in my head right now, You see I've suffered with depression for roughly 5 years now, I've been a shut in for roughly 3 of those 5 years.. I barely leave my house as is.. I just keep playing this bad memory from my childhood over and over and over again and it just gets worse every single time all I can remember is back in primary school when we were in music lesson and I failed to play the violin after everyone in my class did it correctly.. I just remember there laughs, It reminds me how much of a failure I truly am. Every single time I fail this comes into my head and it never leaves. Now back to the main point, Every single thing that I touch seems to get destroyed in one way or another. I've been going to college quite recently and people have been picking on me and it's just ruined my self esteem, The self esteem I've been working on for years. You see all of this shit is starting to get to me and I just feel like I should just end it sometimes. I just feel like nobody is there to help me. I'm just sitting here wallowing in my own sadness and the worst part about all of this is that I can't even cry about it. I've been getting stress related head aches for years. I feel like I've ruined everything for myself and my family, You see I can't even go to college any more it's becoming that bad.