You Wouldn't Pirate a Modeling Gig

[19:50:19] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Tuesday, May 4th, 10:30 AM.  Mel's walking to an address written on a piece of paper, along with a time.  She walks through Ark's vast network of boardwalks, pools, and houses, eventually reaching a large building, somewhat similar to a warehouse, elevated a bit above the major boardwalks, with a vast net of log supports under it, keeping it from ever falling down into the abyss below.
[19:51:04] <Melons> You can't prove it will never fall down into the abyss below!
[19:52:30] <~Aori_Radidjiu> You can't, but it seems sturdy and complex.  The wood goes into complicated triangles, like a bridge, forming a rather sturdy framework.
[19:53:08] <Melons> Okay fine, maybe architects here aren't terrible. Maybe. Mel tries the door.
[19:55:46] <~Aori_Radidjiu> It's open!  You find a reception area in front of you, with a bored young man in a button-up shirt looking up slowly at you as you enter.  His skin and eyes are brown, his shirt blue (and his pants as well).
[19:56:28] <~Aori_Radidjiu> The room is painted white, wtih dark-blue doors littered around the place, and hallways going away from the reception area, as well as an elevator.
[19:56:35] * Melons takes a big breath and approaches him. "I'm here for a thing." Well-said, so very specific.
[19:57:31] <~Aori_Radidjiu> He blinks a few times.  "A thing?  What kind of thing?"
[19:58:20] <Melons> "Um...Kalili sent me...something about...modeling..."
[20:01:42] <~Aori_Radidjiu> He quirks an eyebrow.  "Modeling?  Are you a new photographer or...?"
[20:02:12] <Melons> "She can't make it because she's an abomination and is using me as a scape doll."
[20:04:37] <~Aori_Radidjiu> He tilts his head.  "A scape doll?  So you're a replacement?"  He screws up his face a little.  "Well, we did get a notice from her that one was coming, so..."
[20:05:50] * Melons is regretting not even getting to punch Kalili in the fight.
[20:06:37] <~Aori_Radidjiu> He hits a button.  "We've got a replacement for Kalili, it seems.  Do you want her up now?"
[20:10:04] * Melons assumes the inclusion of 'it seems' is a jab that she ain't pretty enough to model. Blue-clothes man, you better watch yourself.
[20:11:38] <~Aori_Radidjiu> There's some squawking from a speaker that's nearly gibberish,a nd then he talks to you.  "Room 205, upstairs, that's where you're supposed to get and change into your first outfit, then go to Room 208 for everything else."
[20:13:37] <Melons> "Lovely." The half-assed attempt at sounding genuine only makes the sarcasm much more obvious. She stares around awkwardly looking for stairs. If they totally exist she eventually does ye olde 'duh' with a head slap and wanders up towards her destination. If they don't exist, she assumes dark magic is involved.
[20:14:02] <Melons> ...she probably assumes dark magic is involved anyways.
[20:14:07] <~Aori_Radidjiu> There are elevators right behind where the reception desk is.
[20:14:13] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Stairs take a bit more work to find.
[20:14:27] <Melons> Well he said 'upstairs' which obviously means no using elevators!
[20:14:37] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Well, not "right behind", more like "some distance behind", but you get the idea.
[20:15:58] * Melons uses [The Stairs]x1.
[20:19:46] <~Aori_Radidjiu> After searching the hallways a bit, you find out that the stairwells are behind doors, herp.  You ascend, reaching the second floor (although there are more floors above) and then looking around, you see that all the doors on the second floor have numbers 2XX on them, so this is PROBABLY THE RIGHT FLOOR.  205 isn't much trouble to find from there.
[20:25:39] * Melons uses [The Door]x1.
[20:28:29] <~Aori_Radidjiu> You open the door and find a room FULL of clothes, and an older lady with greying hair and a measuring tape (well, okay, not really measuring tape, but whatever they use to measure people's sizes) in a black dress waiting, tapping her foot.  She turns to you as you open the door, eyes narrowing.  "You the one?"
[20:28:58] <Melons> "Nope, vagrant that wandered in unquestioned!"
[20:32:48] <~Aori_Radidjiu> She rolls her eyes.  "Get over so I can measure you, then."  She beckons, getting ready to measure you all over.
[20:33:46] <Melons> 4d6+4 It's going to be okay, right?
[20:33:48] <DiceMaid-9001> Melons, It's going to be okay, right?: 19 [4d6=4,6,3,2]
[20:33:56] <Melons> It's going to be okay...ish! Mel trudges over.
[20:36:34] <~Aori_Radidjiu> That's...guile?  Hohoho.  The lady makes you stand aaaabsolutely still as she measures you all over, then sighs.  "Well, luckily, we DO have something that fits you..."  She shakes her head before going to rummage through some things.  "What's your favorite kind of meat and drink?"  She says this flat, you're not sure if this is a setup for a joke or an actual curiosity.
[20:37:10] <Melons> "Steak shakes. Both in one."
[20:37:44] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "How did I guess."  She rolls her eyes again and hands you a bikini.   "Put it on."
[20:38:31] <Melons> ...is she calling me fat? She's calling me fat. SHE'S ON THE GODDAMNED LIST. Mel glances about for the actual changing room part of the dressing room. They must have those right?
[20:43:27] <~Aori_Radidjiu> It's a bikini that happens to have juuust the exact same shade of green as your hair, so it actually compliments you nicely.  The bottom is a side tie, and the top is a halter top, with lots of support.  The woman puts a hand to her face, rubbing it over one of her closed eyes and down off her face, as she sighs, before saying something.  "Hon, this is the changing room."
[20:44:22] <Melons> "...right...yep...I knew that...that's totally something I knew..." OHFUCK!
[20:45:42] <Melons> Is there at least somewhere to hide behind racks of clothes or no dice?
[20:48:51] <~Aori_Radidjiu> There are a few rows, of racks, at the very least.  Moving aside to do so, you see there are actually a few other models changing in this room, or sorting through outfits to try to find the one they're supposed to wear.
[20:50:07] <Melons> Fuck there are other PEOPLE! Well, Mel just finds a place not completely obvious to change into what is essentially nothing, focusing as much as she can on wishing that there was some sort of pause screen for equipment swapping.
[20:50:15] <Melons> 5d6+4 Focusing! She can do that now.
[20:50:16] <DiceMaid-9001> Melons, Focusing! She can do that now.: 24 [5d6=5,3,3,3,6]
[20:53:51] <~Aori_Radidjiu> You manage to put the fact that you're barely covering yourself out of sight and out of mind for a bit, walking as if you were wearing normal (for you) clothing, and then that old lady pops up again right in front of you and starts sizing you up and your confidence starts wavering.  Y-you can still do this, but arceus it's going to be nervewracking.
[20:54:27] <Melons> Fuck Arceus, what good's he ever done for me?
[20:55:21] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Been one of the main pokemon the people of your region revere, for one.
[20:56:22] <Melons> But he was probably like the asshole father god that his children defeated, that's totally common in mythoseseses, right? Giratina is a pretty cool guy that doesn't afraid of non-existence.
[20:57:26] <~Aori_Radidjiu> More like he can go erase one of his children and make a replacement at a whim
[21:01:25] <Melons> What a dick. If o- oh fuck, now aware that she's looking at me, stay strong.
[21:03:15] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Hmmm, well, you look a bit good..."  Mutter mutter if you get a high enough perception check (17+) you can hear her go "still bovine".  She shakes her head.  "Go on ahead to 208...or...hm..."  she studies your face.  "Jitters?  I've got some Valerian pills if you want 'em, those seem to help the newbies calm up a bit."
[21:04:18] <Melons> 2d6+4 Presumably I am not still wearing my goggles. The combination of high focus and low perceptions is amusing to me.
[21:04:18] <DiceMaid-9001> Melons, Presumably I am not still wearing my goggles. The combination of high focus and low perceptions is amusing to me.: 10 [2d6=2,4]
[21:04:46] <Melons> "Some...um..w-whats?"
[21:06:27] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Valerian.  Minor sedative.  Nothing major, I don't think anyone's died from it or gotten addicted to it.  It's just an herb."
[21:06:51] <Melons> "Um...if it'll help...sure..."
[21:10:08] <~Aori_Radidjiu> She grabs some pills and hands them to you, then gets a glass of water from a sink (why does a changing room have a sink in the corner?) and hands that as well.  "Take with water, make sure to drink all of it.  Maybe splash some water in your face or body, swimsuit models look better wet."
[21:13:37] <Melons> Hope that was just one dose. Pills in mouf, water dranked. Splash attack used. Wait, what the fuck does Mel even know about arbitrarily being wet to look sexy?
[21:14:12] <~Aori_Radidjiu> She gave you two pills, to be specific.
[21:16:00] <~Aori_Radidjiu> She looks you over, hmmmming, then gives you a "come here" guiding you over right next to the sink, then a "stay still" before applying large amounts of water to your hair, to make sure it's all properly soaked instead of half-dry half-wet or anything.
[21:16:39] <Melons> So much for actually having combed it today. Or..brushed...combeed.
[21:19:09] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Then another look over.  "Good, good.  All right, you should head on over."  She pauses, then her eyes widen.  "Oh, they might ask you to put more things on or take some bits off, so you better prepare yourself for that.  Probably just the top off.  I don't think they'll make you wear other swimsuits, though, so don't worry about that."  She waits for you to nod or something.
[21:19:54] <Melons> "...is that the weirdest it might get?"
[21:20:33] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "I don't think you have to use any shampoo or anything, no."  She shrugs.
[21:20:57] <Melons> What? "What?" What?
[21:22:09] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "You know, commercials for bathing products?  We do those from time to time."
[21:23:21] <Melons> "...oh." Okay, good, that probably means nothing ACTUALLY weird. "...uh...thanks." Mel wanders off with that pseudo-farewell to find the place she has to go to now.
[21:25:30] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Go get 'em." She gives you a smack on the ass as you leave the room, maybe as encouragement?  Who knows.  208 isn't far down the hall, it has a studio with a backdrop and a bunch of cameras.
[21:25:59] <Melons> Old lesbians are weird.
[21:27:08] <~Aori_Radidjiu> There are people milling about, a few turn around as you come in, some tilting their heads, some clapping.  "Huh, not bad!  Not bad at all."
[21:28:37] * Melons just Espurr eyes at everything, pretty fucking confused at the reaction to her entrance.
[21:31:38] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Click.  There's already someone snapping a photo, probably not going to actually be used.  The main photographer seems to be familiar, you sort of recognize him as the guy who was bookmarking some huge book at the Pokemon center.  He's kind of snooty looking, not smiling or anything, dressed in a black turtleneck and dark blue jeans, with black, kind of thick glasses with blue eyes, and
[21:31:38] <~Aori_Radidjiu> brown hair.  "Well, come on, get over here, then.  Time for business."  He points over to the little area with the backdrop and different flooring.
[21:32:57] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Right now it's just a plain slightly peach color.
[21:33:15] <~Aori_Radidjiu> The backdrop, that is.  There are other backdrops that can be set up, though.
[21:33:40] * Melons quickly walks over, looking mostly at the floor to pretend that she's totally the floor and not basically naked and about to whore herself out for little real gain. Also, tacilenecks are totally acceptable.
[21:35:30] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Roll me a Charm check at +1 rank and +3 bonus for wearing something that looks really good specifically on you.
[21:36:26] <Melons> 2d6-2+3 Fight the power
[21:36:28] <DiceMaid-9001> Melons, Fight the power: 3 [2d6=1,1]
[21:37:06] <~Aori_Radidjiu> you trip on your way to the backdrop and land flat on your face.
[21:37:14] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Seems your feet were a bit too wet.
[21:37:34] <Melons> 6d6+3 I reject you besmirching my ability not to trip.
[21:37:36] <DiceMaid-9001> Melons, I reject you besmirching my ability not to trip.: 23 [6d6=2,2,6,3,5,2]
[21:37:55] <~Aori_Radidjiu> b-b-b-b-but muh critfail
[21:39:55] * Melons forgot what the floor tasted like. Obviously her acrobatics is to recover!
[21:40:21] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Okay, revising then.  You start to trip, managing to catch yourself due to your GRACE, then flip back up.  Reroll your charm check.
[21:40:48] <Melons> 2d6-2+3 Fight the power again
[21:40:49] <DiceMaid-9001> Melons, Fight the power again: 11 [2d6=5,5]
[21:40:57] <~Aori_Radidjiu> There you go.
[21:40:58] <Melons> Damnit.
[21:42:31] <~Aori_Radidjiu> After making it to the backdrop without the excuse of a bloody nose to make you not have to model the turtleneck-glasses guy starts adjusting his camera on you for a bit, then starts viewing, looking like he's ready to snap, before poking his head above his camera.  "You're supposed to pose."  He wrinkles his nose.
[21:43:05] <Melons> "Pose like what?"
[21:44:17] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Like you're proud of your swimsuit?  Like you're a model?  Something?"  He pushes his glasses up.  "Put your hand on your hip or something, I don't really care what you start with."
[21:44:49] * Melons puts one hand on her hip and the other flips the bird. "Howzat?"
[21:45:31] <~Aori_Radidjiu> His eyes sparkle.  "Great."  Click, click, click.  "Give me a frown or a pout or something, too, then."
[21:46:13] <Melons> The thought of being told what to do invokes a real frown. And then the realization that she just frowned at being commanded to frown makes her frown frownier.
[21:47:19] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Click click click.  "Okay, less bitchy pose now.  You're gonna' have to do a bunch of poses, so better start thinking of them."
[21:49:51] <Melons> Exasperated shrug. Next time she's going to have Sleight research by watching modeling shows all night long and then illusioning shit for her or something. She pulls her hand to her chin and starts thinking of poses. "Any recommendations?"
[21:52:02] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Lean in, keep that other hand on your hip, keep that one on your chin, don't cover your mouth.  Look confused or inquisitive."  He might tell you to lean more depending.
[21:53:31] * Melons sets up the pose as much as she's able, but while trying to ponder between whether it's better to look confused or inquisitive, she ends up thinking about being part of an inquisition. She's also confused about what the difference between the two looks is.
[21:57:30] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Clickclickclick.  He keeps giving you suggestions for a while (usually based on what you're already doing), doing a good number of poses, before... "All right, those are good.  Top off now, cover your chest with your arm.  Flip me off or something to start."
[22:00:00] <Melons> Fuck. Heeeeere we go. She takes a couple deep breaths and her top undoes itself and floats a bit in front of her while she triggers Pained Prodigy to gain one combat stage in Anxiety Resistance.
[22:00:31] <Melons> Her arms of course quickly covering up as the top drifts away.
[22:03:11] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Arms?  "Just one arm, babe...babe?  Ugh.  Your name's Melanie, right?  Can I call you Mel?"
[22:03:47] <Melons> After a couple more deep breaths, she gives a seductive (or at least tries one) grin and beckons forth with her middle finger. "Sure~!" Can she even pronounce tildes? Does her voice break? Who knows.
[22:05:33] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Clickclickclick.  "Best yet, Mel!"  Clickclickclick.  He's taking more pictures than usual.  "Can I get a nervous one, then?  Both arms, I'm thinking."
[22:07:04] <Melons> She crosses her arms and looks nervously to the side, blushing.
[22:08:02] <Melons> This might not actually be as embarrassing as getting destroyed by Carlos three times over and having her thoughts read.
[22:10:50] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Might want to do something about that tan line on your neck sometime.  Having such pure white skin is nice, though, works really good on nervous poses on this."  Clickclickclick.  "Could you turn around, Mel?  I want one from the back.  Keep both arms on your chest."
[22:12:14] <Melons> She keeps the pose and turns around, but after realizing what he said she slowly reaches to the back of her neck.
[22:16:25] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Huh, not a bad idea!"  Clickclickclickclick.  "Good pose, great pose.  All right, one last one Mel, I think this'll be all for now.  I want you to cover your chest with one arm, and then lightly, lightly pull at the strap of your bottom with your other like you're going to take it off.  Don't pull too hard, I don't want you taking it off!"
[22:18:20] <Melons> FUCK I CAN'T TELL IF THAT IS REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY OR SOME SHIT! Well as long as no one comes jumping over to pull at the strap it should be fine...she does as commanded, winking.
[22:30:04] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Clickclickclickclickclick.  "Great job!  I thiiiink"  He turns around to some of the other people there, and they nod "you're done for today.  I know you're filling in for Kalili, sort of, and you're definitely not as good of a model as her, but...it was pretty good working with you."  He pushes his glasses up, and light glints off them.  "I wouldn't mind working with you again, although
[22:30:04] <~Aori_Radidjiu> I understand if you have other things taking your time."
[22:31:08] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Roll me perception.
[22:31:23] <Melons> 2d6+4 Perceive it!
[22:31:25] <DiceMaid-9001> Melons, Perceive it!: 6 [2d6=1,1]
[22:31:35] <Melons> Or...don't.
[22:32:23] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Nothing out of the ordinary.  Your top's on the ground.
[22:32:52] * Melons leans over to grab it and put it back on.
[22:34:45] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Cameraman is putting in a new roll of film, his eyes occasionally flickering over to you.  The rest of the workers are having a small conversation, seems to be about how attractive you are and what the pictures of you would be best used in, although they dont' have the ACTUAL PHOTOS yet so ???
[22:37:27] <Melons> "So...will I see the pictures at some point?" I mean like before they end up in whatever weird magazines you're putting them in.
[22:39:11] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Mmmm, I can give them to you if you give me an email or something, I guesssssss."  He flips his glasses up again, the light glinting off of them.  "Or I could mail you copies."
[22:40:34] <~Aori_Radidjiu> The other people there seem to come to a conclusion that Mel is a little "too weird" to really have her be the main feature in something conventional, although maybe she'll feature in one of their more alternative advertisements.  Hmmmmm.
[22:41:29] <Melons> "Mmmmm, hard to get mail on a boat...email is..." She probably waits until he has a pen and paper or something, "mipu@drifblimail.net. If you were actually SERIOUS about 'working with me' again, I'm afraid I'll have to pass on account of mermaid slaughter, pirate hunting, probably some throwing up, and generally just feeling gross."
[22:43:22] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Feeling under the weather?"  He lets you write it down on a piece of paper.  "My name's Cal, by the way.  Calvin  Sharpe, from Unova.  I like travel, this is actually a temp position, maybe we'll meet again."  He flashes you a grin.
[22:47:36] <Melons> What, she flashes him as part of her job and the best he can flash back is a grin? "Nope, healthy as a...thing that...is...healthy..." Smooth. "Just reclaiming the badge that was being held hostage until I did this and then going to go cry and/or vomit about how uncomforable I am and was. See ya!" Heelturn to quickwalk back to the changing room and reclaim her nice comfy clothes.
[22:54:57] <~Aori_Radidjiu> He blinks a bit, seeming to be a bit confused, but you leave him in his confusion as you head back to the room.  The lady there is taking a smoke, she sees you come in and breathes out a bit of smoke.  "How'd it go?"
[22:57:36] <Melons> "I came, I saw, and I feel awkward as all fuck and am glad to be done with it." Mel equipped [Stealth Clothes]x1. "Uh...what do I do with this?" She holds up the lewdini. No, that sounds like a male magician stripper. Lewdkini?
[22:59:29] <~Aori_Radidjiu> This is the part where the GM reminds Mel that she could put her stealth clothes on without taking anything off and exposing herself (only pointing this out because it seems like something she would do).  Regardless, the lady there snorts.  "Not many models in your size that we get, you can keep it if you want."
[23:01:03] <Melons> But that requires forethought and the expectation that there is a possibility where she keeps the clothing! Besides, she already steeled herself for lewdity. "'In my size?'" Unamused stare.
[23:02:01] <Melons> Knew I should have telekasploded the cameras. But then I wouldn't get to see the pictures...fucking mermaids.
[23:03:02] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Most girls wanting to be a model go and eat like one."  She takes a drag.  "Girls like me would smoke to help lose weight, it worked out somehow, although my lungs are dying."
[23:04:54] <Melons> "Wait, do they actually even eat? I mean...I eat when I remember and that isn't very often..." She holds up her inhaler for a quick puff. "And apparently we have that lung part in common! Except I didn't do it the stupid way."
[23:08:33] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Hmmm."  She takes a drag, and blows out.  "Vitamin supplements, water, very small amounts of meat, usually chicken or fish...yeah, not much.  Oh, and get your Vitamin D from tanning."
[23:12:27] * Melons grabs at her neck again. "Stupid tanning...WELL, old lady, I'm out. I...um...actually want to thank you for preparing me. Good luck with the dumb bimbo you have next! Also Kalili. Good luck with that dumb bimbo when she returns. Assuming shit doesn't get weird in the next couple days. Bye!" Exuant building.
[23:13:46] <~Aori_Radidjiu> She waves before you leave.
[23:14:31] <~Aori_Radidjiu> And you leave the building with a bikini.  Awfully lame payoff, but you WERE doing this for a badge, so.
[23:15:18] <Melons> I badge I already earned. Also don't forget the emotional tax. Fuck, Kalili owes me now.
[23:16:37] <~Aori_Radidjiu> A certain man adjusts his glasses as he watches you leave th ebuilding from a window.  "She was...unique..."  He grins a little.
[23:16:42] <~Aori_Radidjiu> </session>