"Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell vs. Meghan McCarthy"

IN RESPONSE TO THIS THREAD: https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32216557/
BUT IT'S POLISHED AND I PROOF-READ IT

>“And I want Twilight to fly up to her and give the filly a little quirking of the brows as she bites her lower lip,” says Sam Raimi. “And the filly Rainbow Dash looks confused — worried, even — by this. She has a really worried expression, really worried.”
>Meghan Mccarthy sits in her chair behind her office desk, a look of skeptical worry rigidly stuck on her face.
>It seemed weird that Hasbro brought on Sam Raimi to assist with the show’s production, but here he is, in her office, right now.
>And he.
>Is.
>Crazy.
>“Alright, um...why?” she says, shaking her head in disbelief.
>Sam Raimi, staring at her for a second, tilts his head, then simply laughs.
>“Ha! What do you mean ‘why’?”
>“Why does Twilight look at her like that? What is the implication of it?” says Meghan.
>Raimi laughs even harder.
>Could this supposedly talented ‘showrunner’ really be so stupid?
>“Um, because she wants her, obviously. Duh!” he laughs, slapping his knee.
>Bruce Campbell, standing not too far away in the corner of the room, sighs.
>He was always stuck with Sam, and when Sam went off on a tangent/rant, Bruce would be there to help reel him back, suppressing his friend’s over-energetic “charisma” for the sake of the listener.
>Today, in Meghan McCarthy’s office, was no exception.
>“What Sam means to say,” begins Bruce, “is that Twilight Sparkle is, uh, kinda trying to get Rainbow, this young, innocent, virgin filly, to comply with her. Right, Sam?”
>Sam Raimi chuckles like a loon.
>“Ha, no! She wants to fuck her! She wants to fuck her real good!”
>He performs a series of pelvic thrusts in the air, cackling.
>Meghan looks at them, a wave of nausea washing over her.
>“Ah, I don’t know if we can do that,” she says queasily.
>She felt sick to her stomach just talking to these two.
>“Well, Ms. Mccarthy, with all due respect, ya have to consider the symbolism,” says Bruce on behalf of his friend.
>Raimi nods his head, his smile spreading with what Meghan could only describe as toxic glee.
>“Yeah, yeah! The symbolism’s that the youth — our world’s youth — is born in a constant struggle between two horrific, manipulative groups! First of all, you have Twilight Sparkle, the ever-so-perfect image of capitalism at its worst!”
>“Yeah, she’s born into wealth, makes friends, then what? Becomes a royal figure of the country because she earned it? Get outta here!” says Bruce.
>“Yuh-huh! Then, there’s Starlight Glimmer, who represents the horrid Jew,” continues Raimi, his whole body moving with child-like excitement. “She is the one who wonders into town, probably kicked out from the one before because nopony wants her! And so she sneaks her way in this new town, corrupting others into her line of thinking so she can get more money and power!”
>“And she’s also a commie,” points out Bruce.
>“Yeah, and she’s also a commie, but conflicted inside too! You know, Is she a manipulative jew or an evil communist, you see?” explains Raimi. “And of course Twilight, the capitalist pig, wants to meddle with her, all because she believes she and her ‘friendship’ — or rather her capitalist ideology — works the best and that there is no other way! Meanwhile, both are using the birth of a child’s skills, what should be the birth of new thinking, new thoughts, and ideologies as the battlefield! They both want to fuck this child, the filly Rainbow Dash!”
>Meghan’s face had gone pale minutes ago, but now she looked like a ghost.
>She knew working with Raimi and his BFF, was going to be a challenge; Raimi, after all was a director known for his peculiar vision, and so Meghan thought he would push for an actualization of what had come to his creative mind.
>However, she had seen Sam’s vision, tasted his madness, and found the flavor absolutely revolting.
>Rising from her office chair with a look of pure disgust, she could not look at them without gagging, and turns to stare out her window.
>“This is horrible. If I knew putting you on as creative consultants for Starlight’s character arc would lead to this, I would have never let Hasbro hired you.”
>“Please, toots,” says Bruce through his smarmy grin. “Cut yourself a break. They don’t care about that shit.”
>“Yep. They only care about the money,” Raimi reminds her. “And even though they tolerate your weird shit, it’s because you make money, not art. While me and Brucey here? We make both.”
>A reluctant sigh came from Meghan as she continued staring out her window, down at the Canadian parking lot below.
>There was nothing she could do and she knew it; the alternative would be to rewrite the whole thing altogether, and the end result would be even worse for its poor quality alone.
>They'd have to rewrite so much, re-storyboard everything, and so on and so on.
>How were they going to explain Starlight’s motives on such short notice, or even get a solid script out on time?
>They'd have to pay the writers extra to fix this mess up, to ignore everything Raimi and Bruce had watched over and carefully planned.
>She could even get FIRED.
>With a reluctant sigh, Meghan turns from her window, staring death at the two oddballs.
>Sam and Bruce, however, just stand confidently with two knowing grins on their faces.
>She huffs at them and picks up her office phone from her desk.
>“Yes, it’s Meghan,” she says, defeated. “And I...I think we should keep the episode as initially written.”
>Sam and Bruce fist pump in the air right after high fiving each other with Evil Dead chainsaw replicas, all the while screaming “Groovy!”

End