ios jailbreak fanfic

Proudely in the works since april 2013, Enjoy :)
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"We hav defeet teh Applez" MuscleNerd bragged. "We pwn the A7X for the lulz" planetbeing said with glee in his pants.

"Yo can we add a donate button plz? I needs teh moneyz and it will piss off i0n1c and teh haterz. lol" pod2g begged. "Sure if they go to /dev/null" MuscleNerd said. "You know I don't do donations, Cyrilly-willy~" "lol wutevr. Imma add one nyway because I am a cool hackr that found haxx" pod2g said.

As word got out that a jailbrake was made, hype ran amok.

"@pod2g no tease 4 us? frownie faec" addeminsult tweeted. "Fine, here's a word, 'tomorrow,'" pod2g said. "oh and please donate"

Since word was gettin out, i0n1c naturally heard about it. And got fedd up. "Jalebrakes askin for moneyz are fake. Please donate." i0n1c said, mocking pod2g. "I-It's not like I want a cut of the money or sumthin!"

iH8sn0w berst in cause he's iH8sn0w I guess. "WHY U HATIN BRAH" iH8sn0w shouted. "You guys r stupid hypocrits" i0n1c said. "no u" sn0w curtly replyed

pod2g replied back to i0n1c "Sez person who thinks selling exploits = good $$." "Please you guys do that too with your donation scheme" i0n1c scoffd. "But you know. That's something I like about you how u suggar coat things" pod2g gave a confuzzed look. "D-Dont get me wrong! I-It's not like I'm confessin my love for you! baka" i0n1c quickly added

"I neve rthought u were" pod2g said. "but did you ever think about my feelingz for u" "No! Why wood I want to think about a dyummy like you" i0n1c asked. "go away~!" i0nic threw pod2g out

The next day i0n1c decided to go find a hookr on an alleyways. Cuz, you know, they way he acts he definitly doesn't get laid regularly. "Man i really goota get me som boo-tay," he said to himself as he went on his apartments' swagtastic elevat0r. But podtwig was waiting on the first floor. "Steffy weffy, I love you" pod2g said. "I love how u correct my shortcomings, you autocomplete me. Please take me"

i0n1c was dumbfounded "D-Dummy, it's not like I'm into you or anything!" i0n1c pushed pod2g away and was about to roundhouse kick him "It doesnt matter if you dont want me babe, your like a jale break--- I want to keep u to myself and noone else" pod2g said, circling i0n1c's nippels. Needless to say, i0n1c was blushing redder than something really red... Redder than a red ipod i gess?

"G-Get off me already" i0n1c yelped "Oh, i0n1c... please exploit me" pod2g whispered in i0n1c ear. "U-Ugh... Fine. B-But I'm only donig thi sbecause you want my D drive and you wont go away" i0n1c said. "We should build up our exploitz furst, and then tease a rleease. We will release our jailbreaks when we cant hold it in anymore" pod2g said as seductively as he can. Which doesnt require much effurt cuz he's french... idk bout u but French accents totelyl give my boner a boner <3 <3

"I-If you say so, pod2g," i0n1c said shyly. "cum on lets do it in the elevat0r" "if you say so sweethart" pod2g boarded elevat0r and hit the door close button. pod2g pulled i0n1c closer for a lip lock but then he stop before their lips touch "Can you pleaz donate moneyz? I'm working as hard as my cock" pod2g said with a wink.

i0n1c push pod2g away. "NO, NO, NO u killed the mood" i0n1c said

then suddenly the door opened
"YO IT'S GEOHOT" geohot declared. "AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW, I'M GEOHOT!" geohot said, almost as if he were drunk or high or some shit, idk. "Unlockin is my thang yo, imma unlock steffy-chans heart for you all." "As if the mood wasnt dead alredy" i0n1c grumbled. sn0w popped in from the top of the elevat0r and was excited. "geohot is hear?? i want a peace of this #pie too~"

"No i0n1c is mine and mien alone" pod2g said. "Bitch please. You nevr gonna amount 2 me and my ego like that" geohot declared. "Open up your source code so evrrybody can contribute, yo"

"But I want my bump bump time with i0n1c to be intimate" pod2g whined. "Orgies are funner than one on one" geohot said. "Trust me, I learnd that wen i got arrested in texus 4 pot" "geohot u n00b, you know you supposed to hide it in a pot #pie" sn0w chuckled. "n00b? Says the only purson hear that dindt acshualley discover iOS hax" geohot snapped.

":( NO U" iH8sn0w retorted childishy "guys srsly plz leve us alone" pod2g whined. "aww" iH8sn0w frowned. "Lets go geohot, we gonna have to BLAZE THRUU 420" exit geohot & sn0w

"Good, no more interruption" pod2g said. "Now where we left off my gwen Steffani?" "Go away I'm not in mood for this shit" i0n1c grumbled. "Aww... nobody will replace u in mai hart steffykins i hoep you make me yr waifu"
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A month later pod2g and i0n1c played hide teh rainbow rodd when some shit went down "guise guyz braking newz" qwertyoruiop said bursting in as pod2g's progress bar erupted. "A n00bz cleaims he haz unthredeaded jb and wil releas be4 u guys." "what, thats bs" pod2g said "he call himslef unthreadejb or sumthin" qwerty siad

"Hey guys, I have this super cool #untethered jailbreak called '#unthredera1n' that I'm going to release soon," unthreadedjb announces. "And it's an untethered jailbreak for previously #tethered firmwares like 4.3.4. We are not fakers! #HOLMES (Translated by Adam Insull.)"

"wtf is this i dont even" i0n1c said. "he dont know shit. but you know who doez?" pod2g asked rubbing i0n1c nipples. "you do steffy-oniichan~ <3" "We are of FUCK YOU. WE ARE NOT #FAKERS. WE ARE NOT TAKING DONATIONS." unthreadjb roard. SHOTS FIRED

And like dat unthreshedjb disrupted i0n1c and pod2g's snuggel time, unthertdjb continue of relase of tools untherederan unthesersdhail and something else I think w/e. they hav stool thunder from Musslenurd and pod2gee and mad them unhappy and rt if u crie evrytiem

"Bitch, you betta cease and desisst" TruffleBird and pod2g say. "You wet blankets," unthresedjb said. #NEVR #4GET

"say musclenerd wanna snuggle wuggle wit me and ionic" pod2g asked? "Nah gotta hit teh jim yo. Mai hunny loves her some beef" Musseltnurd said

"soot urself" podtwog sad. podtwig and tsun-tsun ionic went at it till the bed broke

while tat unthwerterjb shit went down, windcom teezed sum popcorn kernel shit nd n00bs harass him for jb "plz go play the doll" wndcom say. 7injECti0n to teh rescue? "Yo imma wurk wit winmac but we need halp plz donat it make jb cum faster" 7injector say.

windocm has not amused. "I'm not connectd wit 7injecter" and then made some hakintosh or sumethin idk. who cares, he is a faker that did not release JB #rt

"now that we are alone steffy-chan lets get back in each other pantes" pod2fg sed seducingly. "mm... i do love me som manly chess hair" ionic said ticklishly. "but furst... where's my money sweet buns?" pod2g demanded "*sigh* for crying out lowd pot2g" i on ink groaned. "Aww is it jsut that u dunt have money? Its all right i wll just put some ads up"pod2g said as he covered his nipples with apple stickeres.

"dude that shit aint helpin" i0n1c grumbled. "That Google bumper sticker on ur forhead is a giant boner killur" "If thats the case I'll exploit ur bootroom" posixninja exclaimed, entering thru a plot hole. "dude wtf are u doing gtfo you zibri esq pleabrian" pod2g said "yu aint got shit"

Zibri swung into the elevat0r like tarzan or something. "yo dawg, i hurd u liek zibri so i zwung in ur bedroom." Zibri did just dat, he ripped off his shurt and his pants and started pelvic thrustin in a speedo. "OPPA FATHER GENTLEMAN"

i0n1c got fed up. "Cyril-chan, go home. You can sleep on couch tonite" "Aww" podtwog frowned. "SOrry guys, sponsorship is over. Go home!" Zibri and p0six grumbled. They went to burger king and got themselves some nice and juicy meat and buns
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One day pod2g got a shadey email full of Engrish from a Chinsese person.

"Hey cuddles, would you like $1 million?" the email read.

"Fuck yes" pod2g thought

"Just let us put our special taig package in your jailbreak and you'll be a cute rich boy"

pod2g was a bit nervous, he didnt know the guy after all. He coulkdnt resist though, he craved himslef some chinese buns

"Babe I'm going on a business trip to China," pod2g said to i0n1c. "But who will tuck me into bed every night?" i0n1c said. "D-D-Dummy, it's not like care about you! Get lost, you creep"

so pod2g went to China for his "business trip" and signed a deal with the devil.
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Let's skip ahead to around Christmas time because nothing happend between then and Christmas and I don't have filler material on hand

"surprise!" pod2g explained. "evasi0n now works with ios 7!" "oh cool" everyone thought.

But it was soon discovered that chinese users got taig, and news spread faster than an std...

"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK YOU CHEATED ON ME" i0n1c cried. "N-No hunny buny" pod2g wept. "You said it was a business trip!" i0n1c cried. "You hurt my feeling... get the fuck out" 10nic threw out podtwig's belongings

the evad3rs got scorned and we live happily ever after :)

TO be continued?