Miscast - Chapter 3

>Still Day 2 in Equestria

>Brushing char and ashes off your body.
>"I'm still sorry about that, I, uh, have no control."
>You find it odd that he doesn't have control over something he does like that.
>However, you remember the flame brought something with it.
"So, you can spit fire, and letters come out?"
>"Yeah, I'm a direct line between Celestia and Twilight."
>...
>"...though she doesn't seem to be helping much lately."
>You can say that again.
>Transporting a creature from another dimension should be of most importance.
>Anywhere.
>Oh well. You're here, you have food, you have company.
>Besides, this whole ordeal has been pretty entertaining!
>What would you be doing right now if not here?
>Surfing the internet?
>Boring.
>This place is exciting!
>It has fucking TALKING HORSES.
>And dragons, albeit short and adorable, still fucking dragons.
>It even has magic n' shit.
>Its awesome!
>And once you have had your fill, you'll see to getting a way out of here.
>Sound like a plan!
>The only immediate issue you see is getting more clothes.
>Twilight said that she was going to get someone to help with that though.
>What could these things know about clothes?!?
>Everyone's naked!
>Okay, enough with the interal monologue crap.
>Fine, screw you too.
>You're me.
>Whatever.
>Gotta find a nice way to pass the time.
>Or a bathroom.

"So little dude, what do you do for fun around here?"
>"Well, usually first I get all the chores Twilight wants me to do out of the way."
>He puts a claw up to his chin.
>"Then I..."
>Silence.
"Then you...?"
>Still nothing.
>"I...for fun, I...go...um..."
>What's up with him? He can't think of anything to do for fun?
>Maybe he just doesn't want to say.
>You see him strain.
>"Uhm...I usually...nnnhh..."
>Oh my god.
>He actually can't think of anything he does on his own for fun.
>He really is a slave!
>Gotta stop this kid before he explodes!
"Nevermind, nevermind. Different question."
>He takes a deep breath of relief.
>You could have sworn he was going to pop a gasket with that one.
"What are your chores around here?"
>That he can relate to!
"OH! You see, I start with the bookshelves..."

>Meanwhile, at Carousel Boutique

>A white marshmellow with purple hair was sorting fabrics.
>Wait, this isn't from Anon's view.
>A white p0ny with purple mane was sorting fabrics.
>"Ahh, this silk will be for the gowns...and this cloth will make perfect hoods for the overcoats!"
>As she rambles on about each and every material and their predestined purpose, Twilight knocks on the door.
>"Just a second~"
>The white p0ny places down the fabrics neatly and walks over to the door.
>She swings it open, preparing for her grand entrance.
>"Welcome to the Carousel Boutique! I'm Rari-"
>She stops, recognizing the p0ny in front of her.
>"Oh, hello there Twilight!"
>She blushes slightly at expending such a wonderful entrance on her already excellent friend.
>However, she notices that Twilight isn't looking too wonderful herself.
>"Twilight, darling, what happened? Are you alright?"
>She starts scanning Twilight up and down, noticing the rustled mane and coat.
>"We need to style your mane, right aw-"
>"Not now Rarity!"
>That instantly stops Rarity's makeover lust.
>"Look, there is something very very strange in my house right now and it needs clothes."
>...
>"There's a weird thing...that needs clothes?"
>Twilight groans.
>"Just grab a lot of fabrics and come with me."
>Rarity squeaks back inside to get some materials.

>"...and then I sweep the floors a THIRD time!"
>Holy fuck, maids don't clean as much as this kid.
>"Isn't that awesome?!?"
>This poor soul.
"Yeah, it really is... a lot."
>"And that's not even half of it! Then, I-"
>He's cut off by Twilight and a white marshmellow walking into the treehouse-library.
>The white one's horn is glowing a vibrant blue, matching the floating bags of material near it.
>Great, another magic marshmallow.
>Oh enough with the 'it' and 'marshmallow', you know it's a freakin' p0ny.
>Anything that can talk deserves to be treated with respect.
>You never let me have any fun!
>STOP THIS NOW.
>Instantly, you wave.
>Good manners are a habit!
"Hello there."
>The white marshme-P0NY drops all her bags with a shrill gasp.
>Oh great, this one's just outright afraid of you.
>"Oh...my..."
>Yep, being an alien still sucks.
>"We NEED to get you out of those clothes!"

>She instantly runs to you with measuring tape in her teeth.
>"My my, you're a tall one!"
>Whoa, she's not afraid. Or freaked out.
"Uh, yeah...you aren't, you know, scared?"
>You sound like an idiot asking that.
>"You may look like nothing I've seen before, deary.."
>She starts levitating the tape.
>"But you have manners, wear clothes, and desperately need a new set."
>She pulls your arms up with magic so she can measure.
>"Besides, Twilight asked me to help. If she trusts you near me, you must be fine."
>Fair enough, you suppose.
"Well, thank you! I'm Anon."
>She does what you suppose is a curtsey, in p0ny form.
>"Rarity. So, I have to ask, what are these?"
>She tugs at your denim jeans.
"Oh, those are pants."
>Twilight and Rarity both give you a look of utmost confusion.
>"...pants?"
>This is gonna be a pain.
"You don't know anything about pants?"
>"Well, I had a doll named Smarty Pants..."
"Was it wearing pants?"
>"Well...now that you mention it...I never knew why it had those things on."
>Okay, so pants do exist! Apparently as doll clothes.
>Rarity then chimes in.
>"Then there's my gentleman friend, Fancypants."
"Does HE wear pants?"
>"I never knew pants were a thing!"
>She ponders what she just said.
>"Now that you mention it, I never understood his name..."
>I guess pants really are a...rarity.
>The puns fucking stop now.

>"Don't worry about it however, it should be no problem to make new ones."
>That's a relief.
>"Just give me those and I'll copy them the best I can."
>Wait.
"You mean, just give them to you?"
>"Yes, dear! I'll make you brand new ones, and they'll be much more fabulous!"
>This mare wants to get in your jeans.
>Literally.
"Oh, well they can wait then."
>You'd like to keep your pants.
>"What's the matter? I'll fix them and give them back, I promise!"
>You remember they are all naked, technically.
>They have no concept of nudity.
>Fuuuuuck.
"It's fine, really. I'd, uh, like to keep these on."
>Rarity shrugs.
>"Are you sure? Do you not think I can do it, that my work won't be..."
>She starts getting teary eyed.
>"...good enough?"
>Holy shit she layed that on thick.
>Is she going to get depressed because you want to stay decent?!?
"No, no! I'm certain you'd do a fantastic job."
>She lights up like she never even started with the waterworks.
>"Wonderful! then I'll just be taking these~"
>Her horn starts to glow.
>That oh so familiar floating feeling overtakes you.
>You're being levitated. Again.
>Fuck.

>You feel you pants get pulled down off of you, and you land back on the floor with a thud.
>She immediately takes her prize and lays them out on the floor, measuring them and inspecting them carefully.
>Dazed, you sit back up.
>We can see who wears the pants in this arguement.
>WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT PUNS.
>Well now you're pantsless.
>Luckily you still have your comfy plaid boxers!
>"More pants?"
>You hear Rarity as she notices your boxers.
>"I guess I'll be taking those too!"
"NOOOOO!"

>It's been an hour since Rarity showed up to help with your clothing issue.
>Which means you've been without pants or boxers for 59 minutes.
>Crazy bitches stealin' your underwear!
"How's it coming along?!"
>You yell from inside the bathroom.
>"It would be a lot easier if you came out here and helped me~"
>Rarity's been attempting to construct pants.
>Sounds like she could actually use your help on getting a few things right.
>Like hell you're going out there in your birthday suit!
>At least you have a shirt on.
>For now.
"I'm certain it will be fine!"
>Spike and Twilight have been discussing what to do with you.
>Luckily they are within earshot of the bathroom, so you catch most of it.
>"First of all, we need to set some ground rules for this thing."
>"It's a he, Twilight."
>"How do you know? It could be genderless!"
"I'M A GUY."
>"How do I know?!? I have no idea what dictates male/female in your species!"
>This is exactly what you are trying to hide.
"JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT."
>"Fine, you're a guy."
>Glad that's over.
>"I want scientific proof later though!"
>Yeah fucking right.

>"Anyways, 'he' is going to sleep in a large container, I'll get it to use a litter box, we'll take it for walks twice a day..."
>Twilight doesn't seem to understand that you are a sentient being.
>Even fucking Rarity gets it.
>Is she that worried you're going to murder everything?
>You walk over to the bathroom door to make sure Twi can hear you.
"Look, I don't know why you think I'm a wild animal!"
>No response.
"...I can sleep in a normal bed, eat normal food, use the bathroom, and I don't need freakin' walks."
>"Look, Anon, I-"
"I even have a name! How many wild animals give themselves names?"
>At that moment, the bathroom door swings open.
>"Here you are, Anon, try these o-"
>With lightning speed, you swipe the clothes from her magical levitato-cloud, and slam the door shut.
"DID ANYONE TEACH YOU TO KNOCK?!?"
>Rarity remains silent outside the door.
>"Well, wild animals don't get embarassed, I'll give you that!"
>Twilight chuckles at her own joke.
>Really? THIS is what it took for her to get it?
>Psycho p0nies, you swear.

>After a minute, you come out of the bathroom in all new attire.
>A nice black button-down shirt, with new, albeit oddly proportioned, blue jeans.
>You put your old charred shirt in a pile with Rarity's leftover fabrics.
"These are wonderful, thank you Rarity."
>"Of course, Anon. I must say, you look smashing in them."
>You can't tell if she's admiring her own handiwork or not.
>Either way, you take the complement.
>"I wish  had brought some gems with me, those 'pants' would go lovely with some sapphires!"
>No they wouldn't.
>And gems? Aren't those a bit expensive?
>Maybe not here.
"Nono, it looks just fine."
>You did notice that there is a severe lack of underwear though.
>"Oh, I almost forgot, these too."
>She levitates another piece of clothing to you.
>Boxers!
>Made entirely of denim.
>AnonFacepalm.png

>"Thank you so much, Rarity!"
>Twilight gives her friend a goodbye.
>"It was a pleasure! Very nice to meet you, Anon."
>She curtseys once more.
"You as well."
>She walks over to Spike.
"And goodbye my little Spikey Wikey!"
>She picks him up and gives him a big hug.
>Setting him down, she trots out of the library.
>Spike's in a daze, staring at Rarity while she walks away, tongue sticking out like a dog.
>Aww, widdle dwagon has a cwush on Wawity!
"Spike, you left your jaw on the floor."
>He shakes his head and collects himself.
>"W-what? I wasn't staring or anything..."
"No, of course not...hey, she's coming back!"
>"REALLY?!?" He shoots up and runs to the door.
>Seeing there's no one outside, he turns back at you.
>You have the biggest shit eating grin on right now.
>"Not funny."
"To you."
>Twilight walks over to you.
>"Spike, can you clean this up?"
>She motions towards some of the mess left by Rarity.
>"Sure thing, Twilight!"
>He skips over to the mess and starts sweeping it up.
>It's like chores are the only interesting thing for him to do!
>Poor guy.

>Twilight then turns her attention to you.
>"Alright, Anon, time to get down to business."
>She magically pulls you up a chair, and puts you in it.
>This magic manipulation shit is going to get old fast.
"Uhh...what's this?"
>"If you aren't a wild animal, I'm not going to treat you like one."
>That's a start.
>"But I do need to learn as much as I can about you!"
"That seems fair. So you're gonna just ask me stuff?"
>Twilight nods.
>"More or less. I don't think you're going to lie to me."
>Good! She's no longer insanely obsessed with the fact you might just kill everyone.
"Alright. But I should get to ask YOU things as well!"
>Twilight shrugs.
>"I suppose that's fine. What do you want to know?"
>You ponder. What DO you want to know about this place?
"Well, how about this. Other than p0nies and dragons, what other sentient beings are there?"
>"Well, there are Buffaloes, Donkeys, Cows, Dogs..."
>So generic farm animals.
>"...Griffons, Changelings, Sea Serpents, Minotaurs..."
>And now it's suddenly D&D.
>Wonderful.
>"...and that's about it. Now it's my turn!"
"Go right ahead."
>"How does your species determine between male and female?"
"..."
>It's going to be a long fucking day.