How Far Chapter 5: Mother knows best

	I can’t believe everything that’s happened today. I’m sitting here in this damn office, and I just got told that I won’t be even able to walk for the next few weeks!! For a moment, I thought I was gonna have a heart attack when the nurse told me that...

	The fact that I even have that thought makes me feel a little bad. I look over to the boy with the weakened heart, and I can’t help myself but smile as I do. He is clearly exhausted, and it looks like he’s about to fall asleep. His head droops, but each time he catches himself and sits up and opens his eyes wide. I reach out my hand and place it on his, and he doesn’t even react for a moment. He seems to notice it though as his eyes look slowly to his hand, and then travel along the length of my arm to look at me.

	“Emi…” he says so quietly that I almost think it’s just him breathing.

	“You know,” I say, “you don’t have to stay here with me. You look like you could use some sleep.” He chuckles at that, a deep tone that I find incredibly attractive.

	“That obvious?” He says with a lopsided grin.

	I giggle, “Just a little bit.”

	“Well that’s too bad, I’m not leaving from this spot until we can leave this room together.” He says so sure of his answer. His eyes betray him though as he says this with his eyelids drooping, half closed. I reach my hand from his hand to his face and leave it there. His eyes fall completely as I simply hold his face there and his breathing begins to slow. I desperately want to pull him onto this bed and kiss him awake, but I restrain myself.

	Instead, I smack him.

	Only lightly though.

	His eyes fly open and his hand flies to his face. “Hey, don’t go falling asleep on me yet big guy.” I say, and his hand falls upon my own. I have no idea where the nurse has gone or how long he’ll be, but part of me hopes that he’ll come back soon and he’ll order Hisao back to his room.

	Another part of me wishes he never does, and I can pull Hisao into the bed with me. I find myself wanting to be held like I had been when we were on the roof. His arms wrapped around me and his hand in my hair as I cried after he saved my life. I just want him to hold me. I look over at the desk at the broken prosthetic and all the busted pieces. I want to feel safe.

	A thought strikes me and I turn my attention back to Hisao who is looking straight at me with a curious look. He probably thinks that I’m just glad it wasn’t me that’s all busted up, but it’s so much more than that. I shake my head to clear those thoughts, for now at least.

	“Hey, do you like coffee?” I ask him.

	“Ummm, yea, I guess. I started drinking tea more and more, but I guess I could go for a cup. Why?” and then his face falls into a grimace. “You’re not gonna have me steal some from the nurse, are you?” The thought of Hisao half asleep searching the room for coffee makes me laugh, but I shake my head. “No no, there’s a vending machine right outside that has coffee. Go get some.” He looks at me quizzically, and I reassert myself, “You need something that’ll keep you awake if you’re gonna stay.” He nods his head slightly, seeing the logic, but he doesn’t move. He laughs slightly as he says “But if I go do that, then that means I’ll have left before you could leave.” I smile at him, and I feel that slight tugging I’ve been feeling since we ran this morning. He really cares about me. Well, then I’ll use that against him, for his own good.

	“Weeellll,” I say, throwing on my cutest face that I know is irresistible, “I was hoping you could get me a soda from there.”

	“You drink soda?”

	“Yea, but only when I’m upset.” I say, which is true. “I think I have a pretty good reason to be, too.” I say, gesturing to my bandaged legs. Ever since I lost them, I’ve always pushed myself to be the best. But there were times where things just got to me, and I let myself indulge a bit in my favorite drink, something my dad would give me when he thought my mom wasn’t watching. Before… everything that happened.

	The memories make me space out and before I know it Hisao is sitting even closer and his hand is reached to my face. His hand is so warm and soft, and I just want to nuzzle into it. “Are you alright?” he asks me with concern in his eyes.

	Dammit, I think to myself. I let my guard down and started thinking about dad. I can’t tell him about that. Not yet.

	“Yea, I’m alright. Just a bit sad the fastest thing on no legs doesn’t even have fake legs to go on now. Sad for the whole world, that is.” I say, putting on what I think is a cheery smile as I wink, but he doesn’t seem convinced. Thankfully, he doesn’t press the question, and he nods his head. He stands up and walks towards the door, “What kind of soda?” he asks over his shoulder. “Pepsi, the cherry kind!” I reply. He turns and gives me a puzzled look. “What?” I ask. He laughs saying, “You should talk to Kane sometime. I bet he could get you crates of that stuff.” And with that, he opens the door and steps out into the hallway.

	“Who the heck is Kane!!?” I shout through the door. I have no idea who he’s talking about. Isn’t that that weird kid with the glasses and the huge scarf? What a weird name, it sounds like someone they’d talk about in a church. I guess it’d be fitting for a guy like that.

	Or maybe the guy who carried me down here…

	The more I think about it, the more that seems more like it. And I think he spoke English a few times, but I don’t really know. I’ve always been so terrible at the subject.

	I can’t remember, for the life of me, the other guy’s name though. Maybe Hisao will know it.

	My mind turns back to him and I begin feeling all the complexities of the day settling on my mind again. I was proud to see that he was on his way down to the track, and I was only gonna scare him a little bit until I saw him skipping stretches. Helping him with stretches though… I smile, remembering grasping his hand in my own, and then when we fell down on the track after he actually managed to finish, just listening to the steady beat of his heart. I can almost hear it now in just the quiet of the room.

	I shouldn’t be feeling like this, but I nearly jumped for joy when I saw him on the way to the dorms. I should be giving him space. He and Lilly did just break up, right? Maybe I’m moving too fast… but as I think, I picture the image of rushing towards the ground only to be grabbed out of the air by him. Looking up at his set and determined face, it was the same face he had when he said he needed to get better. I was panicking and I could barely keep myself from screaming as I looked up at the ground far below, but something in his face told me that I needed to be calm. Looking at him kept my heart from going up my throat, and I managed to even kick my other foot out to him without squirming. How he held me in his arms after when I was crying on his chest. Even then, hearing the beat of his heart calmed me. He makes me feel safe, and even when it’s just in a room together talking he makes me smile.

	When he gave up running, I almost felt disgusted with him. Then he started dating Lilly and he practically dived under my radar, and I just didn’t care about it. But that lunch we all had on the roof a few weeks ago showed me he could make me laugh, and I felt a pang of jealousy, but I couldn’t do anything cause he was with Lilly. Which made me want him even more. But Emi Ibarazaki isn’t anybody’s number two girl, and I wouldn’t fall into that.

	Then I heard that he and Lilly broke up from Misha, and I felt almost like a breath of fresh air. I tried seeking him out the last few days of school, but I never found him. Maybe I should take that as a hint, that I should just let things work themselves out.

	Oh god, I can’t believe I kissed him. I smile and giggle to myself, blushing. Even if it was just on the cheek, that’s the most I’ve done with anyone in a loooong time. Hopefully that’ll change soon. We nearly did much worse than that at the track just earlier today… well, now, I have a better reason for it. The hero’s gift, yea that’s what I’ll call it. He seemed to really like it when I called him that, I think as he walks through the door. My eyes travel up from his toes to his eyes, he’s actually pretty cute. He could be stronger if he worked at it, and his hair definitely needs a comb… or super glue, since it always looks messy, but his eyes are soft and kind and looking straight at me… shit.

	“Checking me out, eh?” he says jokingly as he walks to the chair and sets the drinks on the side table. I blush a little, but I fire back quickly “Oh I wanted to do it once considering you’ve done it like 6 times today.” I stick my tongue out at him and his face turns a deep shade of red. “I- I did not!!” He says. He’s so cute when he’s embarrassed.

	“Oh yea? Don’t think I didn’t feel your eyes on my ass when we were running.” He looks down and his face turns even redder. I might be pushing him a bit too far… “Oh, don’t worry, I don’t blame you, it is a pretty great ass.” I say, giggling while putting my hand on his arm. As he looks back at me I give him a wink, which makes him laugh a bit, even a bit nervously. “Yea,” he says. “It is a pretty great ass.” Now it’s my turn to blush as I laugh, sitting back against the firm pillows of the bed.

	“Hey, let’s actually eat this lunch!” He says excitedly. Wow, that coffee kicked in pretty quickly. “Ummm, which sandwich do you want?” he asks.

	“Mmmmm” I hum, thinking it over. “Gimme the turkey one.” He hands it over dutifully, as well as a cherry juice and the Pepsi. I pout at him as he does. “What??” He asks with a confused expression that nearly makes me break my pout to laugh.

	“I wanted the grape juice…” I say, blinking my eyes. He hesitates looking at me, and then he tries pouting himself. It looks horrible. It’d be funny if it weren’t so bad. “But I wanted the grape.”

	I lied.

	It’s hilarious.

	I throw my head back laughing and he starts laughing along.

	“That’s what you look like when you do that hahaha,” he says.

	“Oh, so you were mocking me?” I say, acting insulted. “I thought you were imitating kid that was about to throw a tantrum.”
I should be actually insulted given how terrible it was, but I can’t help but find it funny.

	“No, that’s exactly what you did!!” he exclaims. I put back on my pout “That is not!! I look so much cuter than that.” He puts up his hands to shield himself, but nobody can hide from my all mighty pout, and he sighs and reaches for the grape juice, tossing it to me.

	“Here’s your beloved grape juice, little miss.” He says, acting upset, but I can see the smile he’s trying to keep hidden.

	“Ohhh, I’ll grape you after we eat lunch.” I say

	Holy shit.

	Just like when the fence snapped, everything goes into slow motion. I freeze as what I said pierces the air like a javelin, and I watch as his face goes from joking to disbelief at what I said.

	Why did I say that???

	What the hell is wrong with me!!?

	I feel a look of terror frozen on my face for what feels like minutes as we sit there in the silence, until it is broken by the sweet sound of him chuckling deeply. It gets a bit louder, and I find myself slowly starting to laugh along, until we are both howling with laughter. He’s bent over forward laughing, and I am so glad that he understood I was joking.

	“I don’t think I want the grape juice anymore,” I say, which launches us both into a further set of laughter.

	When we finally both calm down, I take the juice and place it next to me on the nightstand next to a small, old looking clock. I pick the clock up to get a better look at its hands. It’s just a little after one.
“What time is it?” Hisao asks.

	“It’s about 1:20pm. The nurse has been gone for almost a half hour…” I trail off. Maybe my wish came true. Ah well, I’m sure he’ll be back soon. I put the clock back on the stand, and turn back to my sandwich and soda, which I excitedly start to tear into. I haven’t eaten since this morning and I feel famished!

	Hisao grabs his sandwich as well, and I notice how slowly he unwraps the whole thing and then begins eating it. By the time he’s halfway through I’m already swallowing the last bits of mine. I burp slightly, which makes me blush as he looks up at me and smiles. “You flew through that!” he says, surprised. “Well yea, I am a growing girl after all!!” I say winking.

	“This is the first thing I’ve eaten today. It’s really good, did you make it?” he asks.

	“Nope, my mom packed it for me!” I say, smiling widely. I nearly ran out the door before she grabbed me and gave me the sack with my lunch, I would have totally forgotten had she not.

	“But wait, this is the first thing you’ve had today??” I ask.

	He nods his head, “Yea. I didn’t get too much sleep last night, and I figured I would grab something after I went running. I guess I sorta just forgot, heh.”

	“Oh god, don’t tell me I’m gonna have to make sure you eat like I have to do for Rin.” I say joking. He laughs, but then looks puzzled.

	“I wonder where she went, it’d be pretty hard for her not to notice what happened on the roof… then again, she is… well, Rin.” I giggle, most people seem to have an issue understanding Rin.

	“Yea, it took some work for me to get her at first, but she’s really a nice person. She’ll find out what happened and I’m sure I’ll hear from her about it soon enough. But you gotta make sure you eat breakfast, alright? It’s the most important meal of the day!!”

	“You know, you sure do lecture me a lot about my health” he says, but he smiles as he says it. “I’ve dodged around it in the past, but I should really address it. I’m gonna be trying to be healthier from now on, and if that includes breakfast, well than I guess I’ll just have to suffer through it.” I look at him curiously, but he smiles and I can see he’s joking.

	“Well, if you like, I can come here early tomorrow and we can have breakfast together.” I say before I can stop myself. I mental kick myself, I’m trying to push him way to fast and he’s gonna get weir-

	“Sure, that sounds really nice actually” he says with a wide smile. You can teach me what kind of stuff I should have, hahaha keep me from eating the super sugary cereal that I got the other week.”

	I feel my heart do a little dance of excitement and I am starting to feel much better as I snap open the top to my Cherry pop. You know, for everything that’s happened, today’s turning out to be a pretty wonderful day.

	My train of thought is interrupted when the door opens and the nurse steps back into the room. His blue hair looks a little messy, as if he’d been running his hand through it, and I watch him pocket his cellphone. “So where the heck have you been?” I ask him. He looks at me and opens his mouth to respond, but it closes when he looks at me drink. For a moment I see hesitation in his eyes, but he lets out a sigh that worries me.

	“Well, first off I had to call a colleague of mine, the one that fitted you for your legs. I had to make sure he still had the measurements on file, which he does, but he insists that we weigh and measure you again in case your weights shifted and we can make you another custom pair.” That doesn’t exactly seem like a thirty minute phone call, but he pauses and looks a bit nervous.

	“Aaaannnnddd?” I ask

	“Aannndd I called your mother.”

	What?

	Oh no.

	Oh shit!!!

	“Waitwaitwait before you blow up,” he says quickly before I can start screaming at him, “I had to. You know I had to. There’s no way you could simply take the bus back, and you’re going to have to use the wheelchair until you can walk again. I know you didn’t want me to, but I had to.”

	I feel as if my head is boiling, he called my mom behind my back.

	“She thinks I’m supposed to be at a track meet, you asshole!!” I shout at him.

	“I know, I know, she already grilled me about that. I’m sorry, but it had to be done.”

	I’m about to scream  further but a hand on my arm stops me and I find myself looking into Hisao’s soft brown eyes, and my anger melts.

	“Hey, it’s alright. Calm down.” He says firmly. “You know he’s right.” I pout at him taking his side, but I huff and sit back in the bed and cross my arms.

	“You’re still an asshole.” I say to the nurse. He smiles that damn cocky smile though, “I’ll take that from you rather than your mom. If I didn’t tell her, she’d kill me, and well who would you ignore then?”

	“You’re lucky I don’t kill you!” I say, raising the grape juice to toss at him, but Hisao stops me by catching my arm.
Why does he have to be so damn good at catching me?

	I sigh, defeated, and Hisao says, “Hey it’s not so bad. She could have gotten a much worse call after all. I’m sure she’ll just be glad to know you’re alright.”

	Part of me wishes I did fall rather than have to face the embarrassment of telling her about everything that’s happened…

	“She’ll be here in a little bit, she’s getting out of work and will head here right after.” I nod my head absentmindedly, thinking about what I’m gonna say to her.

	“How soon is she going to be here?” Hisao asks

	“About twenty minutes” the nurse replies, walking around to the side of the office. He disappears behind the curtain for a moment and even though I know what he’s doing I desperately hope it’s something different.

	My luck for the day has apparently run out as he wheels out that dreaded chair. I look at it with nothing but contempt, I hate that god damned chair. It’s more like a straitjacket with how it contains me. Just looking at it makes me want to run, but that wouldn’t work out very well seeing as I don’t have anything to run on. I feel a hand on mine and I look and see Hisao smiling at me. It’s kinda comforting, but I really don’t want him to see me like this. Whenever people see me in that chair, they always look at me differently. I stop being the fastest thing on no legs and just become the girl with no legs. I can’t run, I can barely even move when I’m stuck in the cursed thing. All I can think as the nurse pulls it over to the bedside is that when Hisao sees me in it, all he’s going to do is just pity me.

	That’s all I am, isn’t it? Poor helpless Emi. Lost her legs and lost her dad. I feel sick.

	The nurse goes to help me but I smack his hand away. “No, I can do it myself.” It’s very rare that I ever have to be confined to one of these fucking things, but every moment of it is hell. People going out of their way to pity me… I can do it on my own.

	I raise myself off of the bed and pull myself into the chair. I feel like there are straps on the arms that confine me to it, and I feel my breath quicken. I can’t bring myself to even look at Hisao, if I see that damn look of pity I might scream. Or cry.

	Probably both, I think glumly.

	The nurse bends down and looks at my legs, “I’ll text your mom to tell her that she’ll need to change your bandages when you get home. Hopefully the bleeding will have stopped by then, but I don’t want to risk doing it right now.” He looks up at me. “Oh, don’t give me that look. You think you’re going to have it bad? She’ll have my ass when she sees how busted your leg got. ‘Why didn’t you keep an eye on her? How could you let her go doing gymnastics on the roof? Are you crazy!!?’”

	“Gymnastics?” I ask, confused? “You told her I was doing gymnastics?? On the school roof??? And she believed that????”

	“It was the first thing I thought of, I wasn’t gonna be the one to tell her you nearly fell off while making out with some guy she’s never heard of” he says, winking.

	I doubt I could be redder right now. I can feel myself tensing in the chair, and I’m moments from throwing myself onto him and beating the shit out of him.

	“Tell me you’re joking. Right now.”

	He throws up his hands defensively. “I am, I am. Jeez, you can be pretty frightening when you’re mad hahaha.”

	I still wanna beat the crap out of him when Hisao clears his throat. I look over at him and I can see the faint blush marks on his face.

	“Well, if she’s gonna be here soon, I’ll walk you to the gate.”

	And there it is. That’s exactly what I feared would happen. He’s offering to push me to the gate because he thinks I can’t do it myself. This morning, I was Emi the track champion. This afternoon, I was Emi the pirate captain. And now? I’m Emi, the legless girl stuck in a fucking wheelchair. I actually kissed him, I thought he saw more in me than my lack of fucking legs. I think I might throw up.

	Well, you know what, I don’t need legs, and I don’t fucking need him.

	I look away from him, because if I don’t I feel like all my insides are going to tear themselves apart. “I don’t need you to push me.” I say in a low tone. I can feel tears starting to swell up in my eyes. The nurse sees me, and opens his mouth to interject, but I’m not going to let him. I’m going to-

	“Push you!?”

	What?

	“I’m not going to push you.” I look over at him and he’s already turning towards the door. “This is my one chance to ever beat you in a race!” And with that, he opens the door and steps outside.

	What?

	WHAT?

	“HEY NO FAIR!!!” I scream after him, and my hands fly to the wheels of the chair and start turning them. I practically bowl the nurse out of my way as he shouts after us “I see you’re both taking it easy!” I ignore him. I fly out the door and there’s Hisao, standing with a damn lopsided grin. “I figured I’d let you catch up first” he says, smirking.

	“You asshole.” I say, but there’s a smile a mile wide on my face.

	"Come on,” he says, starting forwards. “Let’s take it as a slow race.” He turns and the smile on his face has my heart pounding. I want to grab him by the back of his shirt, tackle him, and plant my lips on his, but I resist the urge and start forward towards the exit.
I start feeling butterflies in my stomach as I push myself forward out the exit, and he walks alongside me. He looks over at me, “Soooo, your mom…”

	“Yea?” I ask.

	“She’s not gonna like run me over with her car like how we met, is she?” I laugh pretty hard at that, remembering back to when I toppled over him in the hallway. A great first impression. At first, I thought he was going to yell at me. But the way he looked at me… For the rest of the day, I just couldn’t stop thinking about him. Normally I forget people’s names right away, but his just… stuck.

	There’s a part of me that keeps telling myself that this isn’t good, that I’m getting too wrapped up in someone who might still have feelings for someone else, but I squash the voice down. Lilly was gone, right? So that means Hisao is single, right?

	Oh nooooo he’s gonna meet my mom.

	Is this too fast? This is totally too fast.

	We arrive at the gate and I feel like I’d be about to fall over if I wasn’t already in this chair. For the first time, I’m grateful for it. I still hate it though. Hisao stands next to me and places a hand on my shoulder, which he squeezes reassuringly and smiles down at me. To think I felt small next to him before, now I barely come up to his waist.

	Take his pants off!!

	I blush, trying to shut myself up, and he looks down at me amusedly.

	“Soo, uhh, I heard about you and Lilly…” I say, trailing off. Immediately, I can tell I touched on a sore spot as his face falls, but I need to know before I go any farther.

	“Yea…” is all he says, looking upset.

	I don’t like how he looks, it doesn’t fit his face.

	He should be smiling.

	Before I can say anything though, he continues. “I don’t really know where things stand, to be honest. She just kind of… left. It was just yesterday that we were standing here actually when she got in the car with her sister and now she’s probably already gone. I may never see her again…” he trails off, and he gets a faraway look in his eye. A part of me feels like I made the right choice in not tackling him and ripping his shirt off, but… I need to say something. What do you say to someone like that though?

	“You know how I like to run all the time?” I say, before I even realize what I’m saying. He looks at me, confused but he nods. My mouth carries on without me even thinking about it. “Sometimes, I feel like I run to forget. I run so fast that the thoughts can’t keep up haha…” I say, trailing off. Why did I say that? I’ve never told anybody that. What is it about him that just makes me want to spill my guts to him?? “Maybe, if you keep running, you’ll be able to forget too.”

	He’s about to say something when a honking of a car horn interrupts us. My mom pulls up in her car. “Hey ma,” I say, still a bit embarrassed as she gets out of her car. She still has her work uniform on, and her hair is tied back in a long pony braided pony tail with her familiar orange bandana on top. She rushes over from the side of the car and crushes me in a hug. “Oh Emi, thank god you’re alright.”

	“Guaahhhh,” I groan as she cuts off my airway. “I’m fineee mooommm.” I pout a bit as she lets go of her hug and crouches down next to me.

	“What were you thinking? Gymnastics on the roof, you could have gotten yourself killed!!”

	I’m going to fucking murder that man.

	“I wasn’t doing gymnastics!!” I shout, and she giggles. Why did she giggle!?

	“I am just joking with you dear.” She says, stifling a laugh. “He told me all about how you were shaking the fence like a monkey trying to get Rin’s attention when it caved in. Ah, and you must be Hisao!”

	She turns to Hisao, who begins bowing respectfully when my mom grabs him and pulls him into a hug. “Thank you for saving my daughter.”

	She says, sincerely. He looks at me over her shoulder and I smile at him with a shrug and mouth ‘sorry.’ He laughs and pats her back. “Oh you don’t need to thank me. I much prefer her this way.” He winks at me, which makes my heart skip a beat.

	“Oh? You wouldn’t want her even a little bit taller?” My mother says to him. I blush “Moooom!!!” He takes it in stride though, “Oh, I think she did actually when gravity was trying to stretch her out.” I punch him in the thigh and he bends over “Just cause I can’t hit her doesn’t mean I can’t get you!!!” I say to him, before grabbing him and pulling him into a hug. “Thank you Hisao. For everything.” He holds me like that for a few moments and I just want it to go on forever but it doesn’t last and he stands up as my mom takes my chair and she starts walking us to the passenger side of the car. I go through the familiar motions of lifting myself from the chair and into the passenger side, and my mom thankfully has learned not to dote on me and folds the chair and begins putting it in the back. I turn and see Hisao just standing there, unsure of what to do, and I wave him over.

	“Now, I know the nurse said we both had to take it easy, but would you still like to meet up for breakfast tomorrow?” He smiles, “I would love that.” I reach up and kiss him on his cheek, and his blush is adorable. I hear a hum from my mother that shows she saw it, but I don’t care right now. All I care is that he is smiling again. “Goodbye Emi.” “Meet me by the track about 12pm, which means we can both get some much needed rest.” I stress the rest part to show I know how tired he is, and he rubs the back of his head. “Hahaha, yea, that sounds pretty good actually. Any earlier and I might sleep through my alarm.” I giggle at him as he yawns, and I hug his leg. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye Hisao!!” My mom waves to him and he returns her wave as she gets in the car and we drive off down the hill.

	“Soooooo…” my mom says with a tune, and I know that this is going to be a long conversation. “Details!!!” Her face has a wide smile and there’s a certain brightness in her eyes.

	I laugh at the way she seems excited about it, I really do take a lot after her.

	I turn around and look at the school fading in the distance, and I see Hisao walking back in through the gates. My mind falls on his broken heart, but this time I don’t think of how much it must hurt him.

	I’m going to put it back together.