journals of a pig

50   dreams of before            Was it all just a dream?
200  furnace                     Found the hidden passage in the orphanage furnace.
500  shoggoth tunnels            Found your way down into the shoggoth tunnels.
175  agnes' secret               Blackmailed Sister Agnes with her nasty secret in the basement.
800  Edith's dolly               Returned Edith's dolly to her.
50   Roshi                       Defeated Master Roshi in combat.
100  moonshiner                  Hooked Care Dog up with some moonshine.
50   heathkit                    Made a stoner's life a little easier. Good job, I guess?
200  apotheosis                  Discovered the Juicer clan "God".
250  baby back ribs              A tasty alternative to a back alley abortion.
350  baby back ribs pt2          For one baby a day, you can keep a cannibal fed.
150  intern                      Landed a desk job at Weyland-Utani.
400  nodachi                     Got the lotus nodachi on Kakuri island.
500  enlightenment               Achieved enlightenment in the Kakuri monastery.
350  egg harvest                 Killed the bug queen for her eggs.
150  charnold                    Hunted down and killed the Charnold.
500  brundlechud                 Genetically engineered the horrific BrundleChud.
50   Father Flannigan            Gave some orphans a reason to live.
600  matter compiler             Used the ancient matter compiler to make valuable metals.
200  belly of the beast          Wading through a horde of the undead.
500  bad lieutenant              Judge, jury and executioner for The Man.
500  crack bomber                Terror-bombed the crack mansion.
1000 ronin                       Got the case out of W-U for Slim.
100  demon killer                Killed an agent of satan for Prchr.
50   drug dealer                 First one's free, kid!
50   munitions supply            Supplied with munitions by Null.
450  null's salvation            Destroyed all the Shoggoth spawn for Null.
500  UFO mechanic                Fixed the crashed UFO at the crater rim.
400  siege survivor              Survived the assault on Precinct 13.
400  hellboy                     Killed the Hellboy and took his gun.
350  baby farmer                 Sacrificed your firstborn to the shoggoth.
50   Belding                     Killed the leader of the karnivores and took his jacket.
750  Deforester                  The forces of pollution have nothing on the likes of you!
300  chimaeraslayer              Cleaned the gene pool of the hideous Chimaera.
600  liberator                   Reunited the peasant sisters in botany bay.
650  turing award                10 PRINT 'UR GAY' 20 GOTO 10
500  red chud genocide
1000 chud genocide               Murdered every chud in the sewers.
500  gun dealer                  Got an invite to 77Jack's arms dealership.
150  bonepanther's friend        Made friends with a VERY large kitty.
50   buddha on the road          Met buddha on the road.  Killed him.
1000 gleaming the cube           Survived the monstrous CUBE. No one will ever believe you.
400  gorton's fisherman          Slew the Kraken.  Fishsticks for all!
1000 sea chud genocide