life.

It's a simple game of life. While playing we all screw up, for better or for worse. Our screw-ups teach us lessons, about love, life, education, friendships, and trust. Our screw-ups help make us into new people that are built to be better than the last. Our screw-ups change us. Our screw-ups create us. And we may not have created the game of life, but we're all playing it, and only by losing a little can we win at the end. It's not winning today that we should focus on, odds are we'll lose today, we should focus on winning tomorrow. In order to be happy you must first feel sorrow, stress, depression, pain, anger, hatred, loneliness, loss, and everything else that sucks. That way you understand why happiness. The game of life sucks. We all lose, a lot more than once. And we blame ourselves and others, when really it's not our fault, nor anyone else's faults, it's the natural order of things that we lose a little to win a lot. In this game we will meet many people, some friends, some lovers, some enemies, some friends turned enemies, lovers turned friends, and enemies turned friends, when really they're all just the same, just fellow players in the game of life. We all screw up, we all lose, but what I tell you is that that's okay. It needs to happen. It needs to happen so you can find true happiness when it's needed most. Don't beat yourself up because you said something to your "friend" or your "enemy" because it's not worth it, it matters little in the future, very few things you do today will change tomorrow's events. We all screw up, and we're all just players in the rigged game of life. We try to find love, we try to find friends, we do things and create things to make ourselves feel wanted, when in reality it's very rare someone will ever want you even if they say they do. We tell ourselves we made ourselves the way we are. We did this to ourselves. We made ourselves lonely by doing the things we did. We push people away when we need them the most. We hate people we care about because they do the same. We walk out on our greatest friends and ally's when we need them, and they need us the most. We shouldn't do any of those things, no matter what happens, you will stick with a true friend and they will stick with you. We get hurt over trivial matters, we pain ourselves in being accepted, we hurt ourselves trying to fit in, be someone people like and want to talk to, when all that does it hurts yourself in the inside, because you’re changing who you are, and destroying your true self. All we want is to know we are cared for by someone, because humans, our fellow players, will always fail us no matter what they say. And can we truly care for someone if no one can care for us? We will get told things that destroy us by people we care about, and those things will shape us. We may say things back that shape them. We will trust in people only to have them destroy your trust, or you destroy their trust. We all want to fit in, but why? Because we're human. Everything we do shapes who we are, and what we do, rather we want to admit it or not, is so we can feel accepted, feel "normal", and feel cared for, by someone. We will hurt ourselves, hurt others, hurt family, hurt friends, and then we may fit in. But then that's when you realize, it was worthless. For every bridge you built, you burned two down. You feel cared for by one, when before, though you may not have seen it, you where cared for by two. What is acceptance? A lie built by our peers? A lie built by humans? A lie built by our fellow players? Acceptance is feeling accepted, cared for, wanted. We all want to feel wanted, and we all deserve that. But we will never get it. Sure people may say they want you, but truly they want to be wanted too, and that's they choose themselves over others. We're lonely, deranged creatures. We want to be wanted. We want to be cared for. We want to be accepted. We may be today, but not tomorrow. We may have been yesterday, but we're not today. You shouldn't focus on what your fellow players think of you. We will always do something to someone to hurt them. And someone will always hurt you. But that's okay. It needs to happen. We always get hurt, everyday we're torn more and more apart then yesterday. You hurt someone, and they may never forgive you, and that's okay. Because someone may never forgive them. We wish we can take back something we did, something we said, or something someone did to us, but we can't, because that shapes us. That makes us who we are. We will get many scars trying to be something we aren't, and we probably won't become that thing, but we will be something different than before. We will change ourselves into something different when we try to change ourselves into something else. We can be incredibly nice and caring today, but incredibly heartless and carefree the next. We can be great people, then terrible people. Good people, then bad people. We strive for an affection from someone, we don't know who, and we may never know who, just someone-anyone who will show us affection. Show us they care. Show us we're wanted. Show us we're accepted. Show us we're special. We need to always be the best we can be, so we become the best from ourselves, rather than the worst. Just because someone said or did something to you doesn't mean you’re terrible. It means you should change. You should be a better person, and maybe they'll take those things back, or maybe someone else will appear and you'll forget those things. You can be destroyed by the same things that can make you happy. You will be hurt in your life, you will feel pain, you will feel loss, you will feel worthless, and you will be kicked to the curb and alone. You can't let that destroy you. You should build on that and become better, even if no one wants to help you. Happiness is the best revenge. Nothing pains someone who destroyed you more than you being happier than them. In life you will be cast out, be alone, be ridiculed, be left out, feel alone, but you will also feel loved someday, and though I said someone may never care for you, someone might once you become the person you become, and hopefully that person will be better in every aspect than today's person. We deserve better than what we get. And someday you will get better. You will be free. But today it sucks. That is why you should make sure tomorrow is better. Someday someone will truly care for you, and you will truly care for you. Someday. It's a game of life. We're human, and we all just play that game of life. Don't let simple words destroy you, nor should they create who you. Let your actions, and not someone else's actions shape you. Let you shape you. Be the best you can be, even if that means you won't fit in. We will all feel pain. We will all feel loss. We will all feel rejection. We will all feel everything worse. We will all be wanted someday. Even if no one wants us today. You will be wanted someday. No matter who or what you are. Be special. Be unique. Be you. No someone who strives to fit in and be accepted. It is just a game of life, so you should win by being you, be you, and that way you'll be wanted by someone. Life changes you. But it should be you that changes you not life, or its players. Just you.

-Collin Ledford