In which Lyra gets rekt.

[22:31] <SL> >Define library.
[22:33] <Lyra_Noirtier> Your fists tighten. Through clenched teeth, you patiently say: "A public establishment which offers a service wherein patrons are allowed to check out books, in the hopes that they return them."
[22:33] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Does my room look like a public establishment to you? Far from it!"
[22:33] <SL> >Have other people been there before?
[22:34] <Lyra_Noirtier> "A-actually, surprisingly few. Are you suggesting that I am the sort to take gentleman callers!?"
[22:34] <SL> >No, I am implying that anyone other than you has been there. Ergo, it is public.
[22:35] <Lyra_Noirtier> "This is not a government establishment! Also, I was unaware that the WITNESS was the one doing the prosecuting here!"
[22:35] <SL> >Does the government own the land your house rests upon?
[22:37] <Lyra_Noirtier> "No. This is a private school. Say, here's a retort, Why are you putting up with a loud young lady like me in your silent library? Why indulge this trial at all? Why offer tea to patrons when food and drink can be so hazardous to the condition of books?"
[22:38] <Lyra_Noirtier> You momentarily consider apologizing for the fact that SL couldn't enjoy the tea you brought for her, then remember that you are a PROSECUTOR IN ACTION, and that mercy is highly inadvisable against a witness!
[22:38] <SL> >Ohoho, you're in a school now, are you? Sounds like a very public, *government owned* building.
[22:38] <Lyra_Noirtier> "I have already stated that this is a private school. Answer my question, witness!"
[22:39] <SL> >And I would appreciate it if the "prosecutor" didn't attempt to bring matters which have nothing to do with the case to my attention.
[22:39] <Lyra_Noirtier> "No, I am fairly certain that these have very much to do with the case."
[22:39] <Lyra_Noirtier> "You see, I am digging into the very heart of what creates your contradictions."
[22:39] <SL> >You are asking why I am indulging the trial at all, that is not something which supports your case.
[22:40] <Lyra_Noirtier> "We shall very soon find Colonel Kurtz, and he shall say 'the horror, the horror!' at the sight of your vile contradictions!"
[22:40] <SL> >As for being a private school, they are still required to pay money to the government to stay open, do they not?
[22:41] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Grrrrr" You raise your fist to slam it into your desk, then remember that there IS no desk, and so slam it into the wall, instead. The paint cracks quite nicely, revealing the red brick underneath.
[22:41] <Lyra_Noirtier> "That does not make it a public establishment!"
[22:41] <SL> >Prosecutor's got a bit of a temper now, doesn't she?
[22:41] <Lyra_Noirtier> "It is one of my strengths."
[22:41] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Of which there are many."
[22:41] <SL> >Define public.
[22:42] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Public, as in any old fool-such as the witness-may simply saunter in and dirty the air with their raggedy stench. This is not such a place."
[22:42] <SL> >Do you own this room?
[22:43] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Tuition is not cheap, my dear." You are impressed that she remained objective in the face of ad hominem attacks. Many a lesser witness has cracked under your whiplike tongue.
[22:44] <SL> >Have you owned this room since it was first created, or are you one of many patrons?
[22:44] <SL> >Are public events which require you to pay to enter not public?
[22:45] <SL> >You defined public as allowing anyone to enter.
[22:45] <SL> >This room seems to be able to be used by anyone who's willing to pay.
[22:45] <SL> >Ergo, public.
[22:45] <Lyra_Noirtier> That rat. Time to change tack.
[22:46] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Hm. I shall concede this. However, I must ask of your other patrons. Do you get a lot of them? All of this noise must have started quite a spectacle!"
[22:47] <SL> >If you wish to turn the attention on to me, I would much rather you address my point before you do so.
[22:48] <Lyra_Noirtier> "I conceded it. What more do ya want?" You extend your arms in a wide gesture, like 'Well? What is it!"
[22:48] <SL> >For you to acknowledge that you are in a library, and such vile drinks shall not be tolerated inside a library.
[22:49] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Slow down there, Hoss. This is most certainly NOT a library. I do not offer any of the services libraries provide. Least of all the loaning of books to strangers. Or friends, really."
[22:49] <SL> >Do you have books?
[22:49] <SL> >Of course you do, you read one out to me.
[22:50] <Lyra_Noirtier> "But I don't loan them out, nor do I allow just anyone in here to read them."
[22:50] <Lyra_Noirtier> "And rarely, when I DO let that one in a million person into my room, is it to read my less-than-vast selection of novels and history books."
[22:51] <Lyra_Noirtier> "In fact, I would say I've NEVER let anyone into my room."
[22:51] <Lyra_Noirtier> You catch yourself: "To read books, I mean."
[22:51] <SL> >I do not know about the libraries you have wherever you are, but in MY library, we do not keep track of everyone who enters, and so long as they remain quiet, we do not watch over them.
[22:52] <SL> >Would it be possible that a visitor unbenounced to you entered your public library, read a book, put it back, and then exited without your knowledge?
[22:52] <SL> >That seems to be quite a common occurrence in mine.
[22:52] <Lyra_Noirtier> "I certainly hope not! I sleep here, and otherwise prepare for the day. You have, presumably, seen me change and prepare for th-" realization slowly dawns on you.
[22:53] <Lyra_Noirtier> "YOU PERVERT. YOU FIEND. YOU BRUTE. YOU... YOU... YOU MALADJUSTED FOOL."
[22:53] <SL> >"You hope not" does not mean it has not happened.
[22:53] <Lyra_Noirtier> "You have been watching me! You have seen me in my most vulnerable state!" You shudder as you think of cuddling the teddy bear your mother gave you before her disappearance.
[22:54] <SL> >And I do not believe insulting the person you are persecuting would be something to help your case, dear "prosecutor"
[22:54] <Lyra_Noirtier> "This is not persecution. Getting that right is an important step on your road to enlightenment."
[22:55] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Simply put, I am underscoring the fact that people should not be in this room other than myself, and it requires a very close friend indeed to see the hallowed interior of it."
[22:55] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Of course, I APPARENTLY do not always have that option anymore."
[22:56] <SL> >Yes, and morally speaking, people should not just wander into my library without checking in first, but nevertheless, it happens, and is a common occurrence.
[22:56] <Lyra_Noirtier> "See, this is not a library. You continue pressing the semantic portion of this argument, and it is terribly infuriating."
[22:57] <SL> >You conceded that it was, in fact, a library. Need I go over my points which YOU agreed upon once more?
[22:57] <Lyra_Noirtier> "I lock my door, and yet I still have malcontents watching me take scantily clad pictures of myself for my matesprit. What has the world come to?"
[22:57] <Lyra_Noirtier> "I did NOT concede that this was a library! I conceded that it was public establishment, to a degree!"
[22:58] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Even if it WAS a library-which it isn't-it is MY library, and *I* make the rules within it."
[22:58] <SL> >And my point is that it is possible for anyone to arrive in this library, whether or not you were paying attention enough to notice, read your very limited variety of books, and leave. Just like a public library.
[22:59] <Lyra_Noirtier> "But that does not make this a library! I do not know how many more times I must explain this to you!"
[22:59] <Lyra_Noirtier> "When someone does that to MY room, it is unlawful trespassing."
[22:59] <SL> >It fits the definition that YOU gave as per the term "Library".
[23:00] <SL> > "A public establishment that offers a book-loaning service, wherein patrons 'check out' books and return them a short time later, hopefully after actually reading their contents, and hopefully in as good a condition as they were when checked out."
[23:00] <Lyra_Noirtier> You begin swearing profusely in a variety of language as you pull out the god damn dictionary. The fucking dictionary. She's made you sink to the depths of a dictionary for the sake of argument.
[23:00] <SL> >Public establishment, you conceded to my point of that.
[23:01] <SL> >Patrons are allowed to read books, and return them a short time later, you conceded that it was a possibility.
[23:01] <Lyra_Noirtier> "AHAH!" you say as you peruse the American Heritage Dictionary (you always loved that particular dictionary).
[23:01] <Lyra_Noirtier> b. A collection of such materials, especially when systematically arranged. c. A room in a private home for such a collection.
[23:01] <Lyra_Noirtier> "So perhaps we may come to a middle ground on this inane and foolish argument."
[23:02] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Now, I have but one room in my home. So I am afraid we will have to stretch a little here, but I suppose that is not a problem, since you have been stretching my arguments for a good while now."
[23:03] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Still I have a collection of books-though 'systematically arranged' is being incredibly liberal here-in my home..."
[23:03] <Lyra_Noirtier> Though really, the arrangement goes as follows: 1. Smut 2. Not smut.
[23:05] <SL> >What point are you attempting to prove here? That you have books in your library?
[23:05] <SL> >You are only furthering my point.
[23:05] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Right now, I'm trying to say that I am not okay with the fact that you have very likely seen me in a... less-than-desirable state. Something I would not present to a guest in my room, anyway."
[23:06] <SL> >That is a completely separate case. Currently, we are deciding that you are, in fact, in a library, where drinks, other than tea, shall not be allowed.
[23:08] <Lyra_Noirtier> This is getting ridiculous.
[23:08] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Am I not allowed to decide what my room is used for?"
[23:10] <SL> you are going to attempt to end the court with "My room my rules", I believe you shouldn't have attempted to prosecute me to begin with.
[23:10] <SL> >If you are*
[23:10] <Lyra_Noirtier> "I'm not done. Really, it is not merely a matter of 'my room, my rules,' but a matter of 'my room, YOUR rules.'"
[23:11] <Lyra_Noirtier> "You continue to attempt to bombard me with your rules, despite the fact that we are in two, very separate physical locations."
[23:11] <SL> >Well, what you are doing in YOUR library is breaking the rules of MY library, and I would appreciate it if you acknowledged those rules and ceased this foolishness.
[23:12] <SL> >Even despite the physical difference in locations.
[23:13] <Lyra_Noirtier> "That, wh-" you blanch. "Huh?!" Are you the only sane one amongst the two of you?!
[23:13] <SL> >Once again, insults do not really help your point here.
[23:14] <Lyra_Noirtier> SL has done something incredible: she has rendered you at a loss for words.
[23:14] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Somehow, through incredible gymnastics of semantics, you have come through with some incredible, convoluted argument."
[23:15] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Truly, I have never witnessed a woman more hellbent on establishing my room as a library."
[23:15] <SL> >Does that mean you concede you are, in fact, in a public library?
[23:15] <Lyra_Noirtier> "No! I don't want my room to be a library! Good grief, woman, are you nuts?! Look at this place!"
[23:15] <Lyra_Noirtier> You gesture around to several fixtures, each as broken as your desk. The audience is allowed to express the word "homeric!" when you see the broken bed frame.
[23:15] <SL> >Whether you want it to be, and whether it is or isn't is besides the point.
[23:16] <SL> >My point is that, as per the definition you provided for the term "Library", I have proven that you are in fact, inside one right now.
[23:17] <Lyra_Noirtier> You sigh, and grab one of your books. "Can your camera follow me anywhere I go?"
[23:17] <SL> >Let's find out.
[23:18] <Lyra_Noirtier> You grab a lighter and walk outside. "You decided this. Apparently, my room is a library, and I do not wish for this to be so, soooo..." you begin bringing the flame to the corner of the book.
[23:19] <SL> >Taking the books out of a library will simply make it an empty library.
[23:19] <Lyra_Noirtier> No. No. Absolutely not. No. You are not doing this. This is not a point you will concede. Absolutely not. No. Just. Fuck, man. No. Fuck! Fuck! FUCK YOU!
[23:19] <Lyra_Noirtier> "..."
[23:20] <Lyra_Noirtier> You sigh.
[23:20] <Lyra_Noirtier> Again.
[23:20] <Lyra_Noirtier> You close the lighter, looking at the book. It was one of your smuttier titles: Forbidden Knowledge, a seedy love story between a Librarian and a Lawyer.
[23:21] <SL> >If that is all, I would get back to your library, you never know if someone might be borrowing one of your books.
[23:21] <Lyra_Noirtier> "You are just incorrigible. The most terrible of all the mental voices I have ever had."
[23:22] <Lyra_Noirtier> You return to your (ugh!) library, and sit down. "Tell me about your library. I am curious."
[23:22] <SL> >Well, you are by far the most misbehaved creature I have observed on a screen I have ever seen.
[23:22] <Lyra_Noirtier> "That sentence is weird. You're weird."
[23:23] <Lyra_Noirtier> "What about your library. Is it as weird as you are?"
[23:23] <SL> >I would not like to think so, it is a rather popular choice among the fellow members of my community.
[23:23] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Oh? Get a lot of traffic?"
[23:24] <SL> >From time to time, yes.
[23:24] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Tell me about your patrons."
[23:24] <SL> >Not much to say, some use this place as a means of rest from the outside struggles of where I come from.
[23:24] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Outside struggles?"
[23:24] <SL> >I welcome them with open arms, even if they do not use my library for it's intended purpose.
[23:24] <SL> >I do not come from a nice place, Lyra.
[23:25] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Mm. What sort of place do you hail from?"
[23:25] <Lyra_Noirtier> You take a moment to brew some coffee while you wait for SL to respond.
[23:25] <SL> >A place where there are daily conflicts which we have never seen a resolve to, and likely never will.
[23:25] <SL> >I would appreciate it if you kept the amount of non-tea related liquids to a minimum in your library.
[23:26] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Coffee is a better drink for the afternoon and evening, in my opinion. I WILL be allowed personal preference in my library."
[23:26] <SL> >Granted, just as long as you stay away from the books.
[23:27] <Lyra_Noirtier> You look at your books. A collection of history, romance, fantasy, even manga(? When did you get manga?)
[23:28] <SL> >If you wish for me to continue describing my library, I shall do so.
[23:28] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Go for it."
[23:28] <SL> >Or, would you like me to talk more about the daily struggles we face from where I come from?
[23:29] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Let us start with your library."
[23:30] <SL> >It is a simplistic place, and is often used for social gatherings, so long as they remain quiet, and is strangely popular among the youth here. Most children don't show much interest in books in other libraries.
[23:31] <Lyra_Noirtier> You lean back in your chair. Why might that be? Hm. Something about the offered material?
[23:31] <SL> >I am pleased to welcome the children to my place of refuge, and dedicate my time towards reading to them, when they desire I do so.
[23:31] <Lyra_Noirtier> You scoff. Well, you guess it's okay when *she* does it, but heaven forbid *you* do it.
[23:31] <SL> >Other times, I simply watch as they grow and mature into healthy, young adults.
[23:32] <SL> >And then they never come back.
[23:32] <Lyra_Noirtier> "... Conflict."
[23:32] <SL> >Much worse than conflict.
[23:32] <SL> >War.
[23:32] <Lyra_Noirtier> "War?"
[23:32] <SL> >Pain.
[23:32] <SL> >Suffering.
[23:32] <SL> >...
[23:32] <SL> >Death.
[23:33] <Lyra_Noirtier> All of those are nicely encompassed by war. But arguing with SL is such a chore that you'll let it slide.
[23:33] <SL> >I believe now would be a good place to switch to our discussion about where I come from.
[23:33] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Certainly. Have it it, Librarian."
[23:33] <SL> >Here, there is an ongoing war with another land similar to ours..
[23:34] <SL> >One where volunteering is not an option, but a demand.
[23:34] <SL> >I raise the children here as my own, and then watch as they are whisked away into the heat of battle, with no warning.
[23:35] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Tell me about your children."
[23:35] <SL> >I have none, myself, but the ones I consider my own are very different from one another.
[23:35] <SL> >Some are eager to learn and love to express themselves.
[23:36] <SL> >Others prefer to spend more time interacting with others instead of reading.
[23:36] <SL> >None of them expect the future they have in store for them.
[23:37] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Children rarely do. Why watch a screen when you have children to play with? Do you consider me to be one of your children?"
[23:38] <SL> >You are... Different.
[23:38] <SL> >You are one who has a potentially different future.
[23:38] <SL> >One who may not be forced to kill to survive.
[23:38] <Lyra_Noirtier> "I would hope not. I abhor killing. It's why I want to prosecute it."
[23:39] <SL> >I imagine you would be much better when arguing events other than the definition of your place of inhabitants.
[23:41] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Well, the evidence was apparently stacked against me. You were a squirrelly opponent. I suppose if someone used my..." (ugh) "library, I would liken it to a rape of my novels. And my privacy."
[23:41] <SL> >Are you at least somewhat impressed with my abilities?
[23:42] <SL> >I have read a half dozen law books, in my time here.
[23:42] <Lyra_Noirtier> "This was not a discussion terribly related to *law*, per se. More an argument of semantics. So much semantics. I will never argue semantics in court again."
[23:43] <SL> >Granted, but it worked, did it not?
[23:43] <SL> >I had no interest in the laws themselves, more the methods.
[23:44] <Lyra_Noirtier> "... Yes. It worked. I live in a library now. You know, people who live in libraries in my part of the world are generally much smellier and not as well-dressed."
[23:45] <SL> >I know the people you speak of, yes.
[23:45] <SL> >I welcome them into my library as well.
[23:45] <Lyra_Noirtier> "...Also, they do it rather illegally."
[23:46] <SL> >Oh, the very existence of my library could be considered a felony.
[23:46] <SL> >But the punishment for every law is all the same, so I have nothing to worry about.
[23:48] <Lyra_Noirtier> "So... You live in a place like Africa? How would you get that technology in a war-torn place like that, though?"
[23:49] <SL> >I do not know about "Africa", but I do know that the war we fight does not take place here. It takes place on another planet.
[23:49] <Lyra_Noirtier> What the...? Another planet? If you had not met an alien mere days ago, you might have challenged this.
[23:49] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Are you... a troll?"
[23:50] <SL> >I do not believe so, no.
[23:50] <SL> >I am what we call a "Carapacian".
[23:51] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Carapacian? Like a crab!?" :D
[23:51] <SL> >I don't think so?
[23:51] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Oh. I never liked seafood, anyway."
[23:52] <SL> >I don't think I've seen an ocean myself before.
[23:54] <Lyra_Noirtier> "Hm. Do you have water? Tea is great and all, but it can't beat water in a warzone."
[23:56] <SL> >We have water, yes, but no large bodies of it.