The Fluff Testament 2: The Begetenning

THE FLUFF TESTAMENT 2: THE BEGETENNING

>It's only been a few minutes since the fluffy Garden of Eden was rolled up and Adam and Eve were cast out into the rest of the backyard.
>The fence all around the place won't let them get far, but they've gotten over to the far corner and are there with each other.
>Matter of fact, they've been there for quite a while.
>Without plates of food and entertainments laid out for them, the fluffies seem to have no idea what to do yet.
>Adam and Eve are just staring at each other nervously, clearly still wired after their escape from the 'guard' you set over the garden.
>You're watching from the other side of the yard, outside of their area of immediate notice, so they're pretty much under the impression that they're alone.
>Without the blind you set up to shade them, it's the first time they've been under direct sunlight.
>"Ebe too wawm," Eve whines.
>They've also lost their safety water bottle.
>"Adum fiwsty," her husband whines just as annoyingly.
>However, they're completely inexperienced on the subject of how to take care of themselves, so they've got no idea what to do about these things.
>Eventually, after a few more minutes of sun exposure and having nothing to drink, Adam whimpers, "Adam wan' wawa..."
>"Ebe know whad do!" she cries, as though she's just had a blinding flash of insight. "Go gawden fow wawa!"
>They've already lost track of how they were barred from re-entry there.
>You're still standing where it was, so you watch as the pair wander in the wrong direction for a little while, until they eventually work their way back towards you.
>"Hai, God Daddeh!" Adam greets you.
>"Wuv God Daddeh," Eve chirps.
>You just stand there silently.
>"God Daddeh, whewe gawden wif nummies?"
>"YOU WERE BANISHED FROM THE GARDEN OF EDEN, NEVER TO RETURN!" say you, the lord of their lives.
>"Wha 'ban-nish?'" Eve asks.
>"IT MEANS YOU CAN NEVER GO TO THE GARDEN AGAIN!"
>That's probably not enough for them to get it...
>"FOREVER!"
>"Fowevah?"
>They shudder.
>"But... dat wong time! Fwuffies wan' gawden! Gawden home fow fwuffies! Why nuu go gawden?"
>Eve's casting about for a trace of it, even though you took everything that made it up inside. "Pwease, gawden! Gif Ebe nummies!"
>She is talking to it, but it's not presenting itself to her.
>There you go.
>"IT IS BECAUSE YOU ATE THE FOOD YOU WERE FORBIDDEN TO EAT. YOU WERE BOTH BAD FLUFFIES!"
>Eve takes cautious steps towards you and, sitting, opens her forelegs wide, as though to encompass you.
>She now seems more confused than upset. "Nuu, God Daddeh. Fwuffies good fwuffies! Gif God Daddeh huggies!"
>You slam your foot down next to where the little brown-colored mare is sitting.
>You're not the type who's strong enough to shake the ground with a step, but to a fluffy pony it's got to be like having a redwood fall a foot from you.
>The wages of bribery.
>"THE LORD THY GOD IS ANGERED."
>Poor Eve shits herself in terror.
>Adam waddles back a step, eyes turned on Eve, his nostrils twitching. "Fwiend nuu smeww pwetty..."
>Eve looks down at the ground, where she's sitting in a small pile of her own shit.
>It's gotten all over her butt-fluff.
>"Poopies on fwuff!" She gets to her hooves and tries to walk away, towards Adam. "Adum, Ebe sad! Huggies pwease?"
>Upon hearing his wife is sad, Adam goes in for the hug - which gets some of the poop on him as well.
>The two of them both shake their noses like they're trying to wring the smell out.
>"God Daddeh..." Adam gets himself together enough to beg right up to you, "Pwease cwean fwuffies...? Nuu smeww pwetty..."
>"NO! GOD WILL NOT CLEAN YOUR SPOOR ANY LONGER! IN THE GARDEN WERE YOU CLEANED, BUT NOW THE EARTH SHALL BEAR THE STAIN OF YOUR LEAVINGS!"
>Adam worriedly stares at the dookie, at his wife's soiled coat, at himself. "God Daddeh, poopie nuu smeww pwetty. Poopies yucky, pwease cwean!"
>Okay, you're gonna have to tone it down with the King James shit here if you want them to understand.
>"I WILL NOT CLEAN YOU. BAD FLUFFIES DO NOT TOUCH THEIR POOP! ARE YOU BAD FLUFFIES?!"
>Adam and Eve desperately shake their heads.
>"THEN GO FORTH AND LIVE AS GOOD FLUFFIES, AND YOU SHALL KNOW MY LOVE."
>Eve's eyes instantly brighten. "God Daddeh wuv good fwuffies!"
>Excellent, they can follow that much.
>"BUT ALL BAD FLUFFIES... SHALL TASTE... MY... WRATH!"
>You throw your hands up, and shout the last word at the top of your lungs.
>If anyone saw you they'd just laugh - your T-Shirt and jeans do not bespeak great and terrible power, no matter what costume beard you might be wearing.
>But to the fluffies, it is an earth-shaking pronouncement from on high, and Adam flattens himself out of fear, though he cannot turn his gaze aside. "O-okey, God Daddeh! Adum good fwuffy!"
>Eve is shivering, still partially touching her own poop - you indicate her dramatically.
>"AND WHAT OF YOUR WIFE, WHOSE DESIRE IS TO YOU, AND WHO YOU MUST RULE OVER?!"
>Yeah, the actual passage phrases it like that.
>It's a pretty sexist book.
>"Wi... Wifey good fwuffy!"
>"Ebe good fwuffy, God Daddeh, Ebe pwomise!"
>"THEN GO FORTH. MULTIPLY. EAT THE HERB OF THE FIELD."
>They just sort of stand there, staring at you in agitation.
>"... GO, DAMMIT!"
>The little fluffy ponies scurry in the opposite direction from you, accidentally finding their way into the shade of your sole full-size tree.
>They seem to like the shade. "Nuu haf too-wawm feewin'!"
>"Sun nuu huwt eyes!"
>It cheers them.
>They hug, but then don't yet seem to know what to do with themselves without toys or food present, aside from talk to each other about the lack of both.
>You make a few preparations as the day wears on.
>The fluffies do not cope well with going unfed.
>Eve becomes nervous and requires constant hugs, which do nothing to fix the actual problem.
>Adam keeps repeating "Adum fiwsty!" until his throat is so dry he can barely rasp it out.
>Sooner or layer they're going to have to figure out that your grass is food, but you're not sure when they'll manage it.
>It seems entirely possible that Adam will collapse from dehydration before they notice the water dish you've laid in the opposite corner from the tree.
>Time to act.
>You grab up the two of them, ignoring their gleeful cries of "Yay! Fingow wide!" and "Ebe fwy!"
>Then you put them down near to the water dish, which they become entranced with.
>It actually takes Adam a few seconds to understand what he's looking at. "Wawa!"
>He toddles closer to it.
>It's a serving platter, so shallow that it can't possibly submerge a fluffy, but with plenty of water
to safely drink.
>You're hoping it'll be a good introduction to the concept of not using the safety bottle all the time.
>Eve, who is not as thirsty, wonders with trepidation "Wawa nuu in bottow...?"
>Adam can't help himself though, he climbs in so that he's standing in the half-inch of water.
>He heedlessly drops his face right into the "pool" and starts trying to drink.
>That doesn't work so well, since he manages to get both his mouth and nostrils submerged, and doesn't realize that breathing in at this point is a bad idea.
>He coughs, his nose gets foamy, and Adam lies down, crying and sputtering until he can speak. "Wawa gif owwies! Nuu can - *cough* - bweave!"
>Eve hugs to assist, which doesn't allow him to breathe any easier.
>"Fwuffies nee' wawa-bottow! Husban', wat fwuffies do fow wawa an' nummies?" she asks, about to cry.
>Ah, shit.
>The internet warned you that fluffies usually need quite some skills to drink without a spout or nipple...
>One of them is going to drown themselves if you don't give them the water bottle...
>Okay, plan B.
>You take the watter bottle that was in the Garden, then nail it to the tree by its clamp in a nice low position.
>Top it off, too.
>The noise of what you're doing attracts the fluffies, who seem to be getting the hang of spatial relationships more now - they're learning that things exist in a fixed configuration with each other inside the backyard, and that they can go back to places they've been by simply by returning the way they came.
>According to the experts, the bigger the space, the less chance fluffies have of figuring it out.
>They also say that if significant changes are made in a space, the fluffy ponies will think it's an entirely new location.
>You're going to try to make use of that later on.
>For now, you just allow Adam and Eve to come closer, until they see the water bottle.
>"Wawa!" Adam exclaims again, and begins speeding - well, speeding by his standards - in its direction
>"STOP!"
>He stops, though his legs fidget like he's having to fight them not to run. "Why stawp Adum, God Daddeh?"
>"I HAVE PLACED THIS BOTTLE HERE, AND FILLED IT WITH WATER, SO YOU WILL NOT BE THIRSTY. WHAT DO YOU FLUFFIES SAY TO ME?!"
>Adam blinks. "Say... wan' wawa?"
>Eve, thinking so hard it looks like she's about to poop, says "Fwuffies say... fwuffies... tank... God Daddeh?"
>"CORRECT, EVE. YOU ARE A GOOD FLUFFY."
>Eve settles herself on her feet in a pleased fashion, although Adam is dismayed when you do not say the same of him.
>Good, if you're going to do this thing accurately to the bible, he'd better get used to your affection being distributed unevenly.
>"WHENEVER YOU DRINK OR EAT, FROM NOW ON, YOU WILL THANK GOD THE FATHER. ALL YOUR WATER COMES FROM ME. ALL YOUR FOOD COMES FROM ME. SAY 'I THANK GOD THE FATHER' BEFORE EVERY DRINK, EVERY BITE, ALL THE TIME... OR I WILL BE VERY ANGRY!"
>Their pupils seem to have shrunken at being exhorted to remember such a complex idea, but Adam at least yells "Fwuffy tank god daddeh fow wawa!"
>Good enough.
>"THEN YOU MAY DRINK."
>He drinks.
>Once he's satisfied, the water bottle's significantly drained, and Eve goes to it while appearing to struggle with the act of remembering.
>The words "Ebe... tank God Daddeh!" tumble out of her mouth.
>Adam squees, impressed at her powers of recall, and she shares a smile with him.
>Good, fluffies are supposed to learn best through peer enforcement, you heard they use 'em as an example when training teachers now.
>Having now achieved the goal of instilling the practice, you add, "I KNOW THAT YOU ARE HUNGRY."
>Adam appears to take this as a matter of course, but Eve, whose stomach is more empty, is astounded.
>"How God Daddeh know dat?"
>She said it plenty loud, but because you weren't standing right next to her she doesn't remember you being there, and thus you can't know.
>"I AM GOD. I KNOW ALL. BUT DO AS I HAVE COMMANDED AND EAT THE HERB OF THE FIELD."
>"Wat uwb of da feewd?"
>"EAT GRASS, YOU DOLTS."
>It's interesting to see, but the fluffy ponies are confused by this and look down at it, then to each other, then back to you. "Gwassies nummies, God Daddeh?"
>Curious.
>You can see why they'd not be programmed to recognize it as food specifically, being pets who probably shouldn't want to chew up the lawn, but if they're hungry they should at least be able to tell it's edible to them.
>How much of them is animal instinct and how much is artifice, anyway?
>Oh well, no matter, as long as you get to see what happens when you replace all that with 'Obedience to God Daddy.'
>"YES. THE GRASS IS YOUR FOOD."
>"Ebe nuu wan' gwassies. Ebe wan' sweeties an' sketties fwom gawden!"
>As fast as they forget things, their memory is strongly tied with how happy or sad they were at the time - meaning she's not liable to lose her joyful impressions of paradise.
>Good, she's supposed to be sad about it.
>"NO. YOU ARE OUT OF THE GARDEN FOREVER!"
>"But... Ebe wuv sweeti--"
>"ARE YOU ARGUING WITH GOD?! BE A GOOD FLUFFY, THANK ME, AND EAT YOUR GRASS!"
>Stomp your foot again.
>She doesn't shit herself this time, probably empty from the last, but quivers and shuts up.
>Adam is looking frightened and eager to pull your attention. "Adum an' wifey wuv God Daddeh. Adum tank God Daddeh fow gwassies."
>You ease your posture, and say in a majestic Charlton Heston voice - or rather, your Troy McClure pretending to be Charlton Heston voice - "IT IS GOOD."
>Adam takes the first bite of your grass.
>It seems it IS good, though part of that may be their hunger.
>Eve remembers to thank you, and digs in too, though after she's taken all the grass that's nearest her she mutters, "Gwassies nuu sweetie," before grazing on.
>You continue to watch for the next few hours.
>Adam and Eve seem to work out a game by which they take turns following each other around and reacting to what they find.
>Because of the way your backyard is almost featureless and has no real views around it (so you're not much of a gardener, who gives a shit?) this means walking up to the fence and discussing the "high ting," reaching the sapling and noting it is a "wittow twee," then pooping, noticing the smell and wandering away from it.
>Without many learned behaviors to fall back on, dangers to react to, or stuff to dick around with, fluffy ponies are honestly pretty boring.
>Well, at least they seem to be consistently reminding each other to reverence you before consuming food or water, even if Eve still takes the time to say, "Gwassies, be mowe sweetie!"
>It's cute when they hug and all, but you'd better get to work here...
>Eventually, as the day's winding down, you watch Adam following Eve along the edge of the big tree's shade, which fascinates her but not him.
>Apparently humans aren't the only species where females sometimes drag the males along to stuff they find boring - or vice versa, probably.
>Once Eve stops to watch the shadow of a leaf turn in the breeze, you sneak up behind both.
>They can't see you as you reach down and grab Adam's fluff, lifting him up and then placing him directly upon Eve's back.
>"Wah!" Eve exclaims, though she's not so much upset as surprised. "Husban' wan huggies?"
>"Dun' know!" Adam announces.
>As he tries to look behind him to see what the source of the hand on his back was - not an easy task for a short-necked fluffy pony - you distract him.
>By grinding his crotch on his wife's fluff.
>You're careful to do it slightly away from her privates just yet, since you don't want sudden accidental penetration, and yet almost immediately Adam's next breath is shakier, shallower. "Ebe fwuff feew funneh."
>Here comes the extra-icky part.
>You tuck your finger between the fluffy ponies, your freshly-donned latex glove catching on the fluff a bit, but eventually you're over what you know to be the right place to start.
>At first you just gently swirl your finger in a circle around Eve's vagina without actually touching it.
>If you were an actually good fluffy owner you'd spend days working your way towards touching her there even once while petting her, but as you know, you're an asshole playing god, and a sometimes impatient god at that.
>So instead you just keep teasing your fluffy ponies by helping Adam dry-hump his wife while he pants and gets excited, and trying to make Eve used to the idea of getting her naughty bits handled.
>Your theory is that if you can help them get introduced to the idea of sex in a pleasurable way, they'll have it more, and make the babies you need to continue the game.
>"Adum?" Eve is saying, "Ebe peepee pwace feew funneh. Why husban' hug peepee pwace?"
>"Nuu," he argues between breaths that are coming faster, "Adum peepee pwace feew funneh. Ebe fwuff funneh!"
>"Nuu," she says, before restating her problem.
>"Nuu," he says, restating his.
>It goes back and forth a few times, each getting more desperate and insistent.
>Finally it seems like Eve is going to try to outright turn around - do they even know you're here? - so you stop her by at last tickling your index finger over her swollen marehood.
>"Wah!" she shouts with a start. "Peepee pwace huwt!"
>Adam agrees with her, for different reasons.
>Fluffy stallions have a small-sized penis even for their bodies, but you'd be willing to bet he's got a raging erection by their standards.
>"Wha happenin'?" Eve is asking, confused, but you can feel the heat coming off of her onto your finger.
>You had thought this task might be kind of kinky and give you a boner something, but this "threesome" with two fluffy ponies is far more work than pleasure, and disgusting besides.
>You feel creepily like a child molester, and not the attractive school nurse sort from that eromanga you like.
>That's when you back out; you stop grinding Adam on her, and he begins to take up the rhythm himself, his pushes matching his breaths, and then, his lower lip rising and falling, he begins his grunting chant.
>"Enf... enf... enf! Enf! Enf! Enf! Enf!"
>Instead of holding him back so that he's just being teased by her fluff, you thrust him forward one more time, helping him find his mark in that mess of somewhat dirty fluff.
>"Wah! Wah! WAH! Adum, Ebe huwty! Ebe haf owies! Pwease nuu huwt Ebe!"
>Sorry, honey, if you're gonna be the first woman, you've gotta make it so there can be more later.
>The expression on Adam's face reminds you a bit of that time you caught your own face in the mirror while humping.
>His eyes aren't open all the way, but what you can see of them is unfocused.
>Deaf to his mate's pleas for mercy, he continues to "Enf! Enf! Enf!" unabated.
>"Adum pwease stawp! Ebe wuv Adum! Adum fwiend! No wike dis game! No gif Ebe owwies in peepee pwace! Waaah!"
>She's just breaking out into tears of pain and betrayal when Adam gives his final "ENF!" and, with no moment of hesitation, falls backwards off her, eyes shut.
>Oh, hellfire and damnation.
>He'd better not be dead.
>No, his breath is still going, he just passed out - an orgasm was too much for his tiny body and mind to handle at once.
>You've heard coming can easily kill them, if they're not in good health, but you paid for a premium specimen...
>Well, wouldn't be the first man to conk out directly after getting what he wanted.
>Rather than turning around to check out what happened once his weight is off of her, Eve scuttles away,
blubbering and proclaiming, mostly to herself, "Husban' meanie!"
>Hmm, apparently she didn't have a good time.
>After lying Adam on his side so that he doesn't drown on his own drool, you pursue her, picking her up to return her to the scene of the sex.
>"God Daddeh!" she cries, trying to hug your arm. "Husban' Adum huwt Ebe! Ebe wan' huggies!"
>You just got huggies, you twit, you think, but just put her down so that she's less than a foot from the sleeping Adam, looking on at him apprehensively.
>"God Daddeh, no wan' pway wit Adum!"
>"ADAM IS YOUR HUSBAND. HE MUST RULE OVER YOU."
>"He pway meanie game!"
>"NO, EVE. YOUR HUSBAND IS YOUR MASTER, AND WITH HIM YOU MUST BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY."
>Trying to understand such a complicated idea takes up so much of her brain power that Eve stops looking so upset. "Wat dat mean, God Daddeh?"
>"WHEN YOUR HUSBAND EMBRACES YOU AND PUTS HIMSELF INSIDE YOUR... UH, YOUR PEEPEE PLACE, HE IS PROCREATING. IT IS YOUR DUTY AS A WIFE TO LET HIM KNOW YOU!"
>"Ebe know Adum awweady!" She points a doughy hoof at him. "Dat Adum! An' Adum know Ebe!"
>Fuck, get a clue, lady!
>Better take it all the way down to her level.
>"I HAVE MADE IT SO THAT WHEN ADAM GIVES YOU THAT KIND OF HUG, HE IS TRYING TO PUT BABIES IN YOU."
>Her gasp almost makes HER pass out, too. "God Daddeh, Ebe gon' be fwuffy mumma?!"
>"I WILL ALLOW YOU TO BECOME A MOTHER AND BEAR CHILDREN IF YOU ARE A GOOD FLUFFY, IF YOU THANK ME AND OBEY YOUR HUSBAND, AND HOLD MY LAWS SACRED!"
>Eve is so eager to be a parent that she just nods at whatever you say. "Okey God Daddeh, Ebe be good fwuffy an' wet Adum pway owwie game!"
>"IT IS WELL. NOW, BE KINDLY TOWARDS YOUR HUSBAND, THAT HE MIGHT GIVE YOU THE 'SPECIAL HUGS!'"
>Without so much as waiting for him to wake up on his own, Eve bounds over to Adam and smothers him in a big, warm hug.
>He is roused and blinks confusedly. "Wha happah?"
>"Ebe wuv Adum! Haf good babbehs fwum speciaw huggies game! Gif 'gain, okey husban'?"
>He smiles, tiredly hugging her back. "Adum wuv Ebe. Ebe Best Wifey."
>Aww.
>It's gonna really be hard on them when you make one of their kids kill another.