Get Some Sleep, Kids

Once upon a time there was a boy named George
He was on his phone on a chair on the porch
His 3DS was dead and so was his brain
And Reddit had finally become a pain

He looked up 'Animal Crossing' and it wasn't enough
Google results were playing tough
A forum for AC was out there, he knew that much
What if The Bell Tree was his clutch?			(Note: to be someone's "clutch", it means that they like it a lot)

A Gmail account and a login later,
he was on a website that was much, much safer
than the other weird stuff that just wasn't all there
like Reddit or 4Chan or the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire.		(Oh come on, I really really tried to rhyme those. Give me a break.)

He made some trades, sold off a Whitney
Purchased a golden axe in a jiffy!
November came along and there was the Fair.
Events! Contests! There weren't any squares!			(Note: "Squares" are people who aren't cool. I'm from the South, okay?)

Six hours later, he was out of TBT
But he was still looking around for flowers that were free
Bedtime had passed; it was way too late
But Animal Crossing had his attention; it had since he was eight.

If there's one thing he learned from that fateful night
it was never to go on TBT without A FREAKING BEDTIME DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE BEEN AWAKE?